Kick-A-Long Saga Chapter three

The Kick-A-Long Saga is several writers' project where each writer takes turn in writing a chapter, each taking it in whatever direction they want, then kicking it along to the next writer for their chapter until it comes back around. All the characters were created by the group members.

@impurestcheese is up next.

__________________________________

Rupert Verismilitude stepped into a white room with a table and two chairs. At the one end of the table sat his patient, she only referred to herself as 'Eunice' once when asked who she was and then hadn't said much after that (unless the topic was about eating). She had been found in a small village just outside Wales, where she had butchered all the town's inhabitants by use of the creatures that lived under her skin. Whether she controlled them or they controlled HER was anyone's guess. All they knew was that the only way to keep the worms in check was with a special drug that had to be injected into her blood veins once every hour.

Rupert's job was to try and make the young woman... well, cooperative was one word for it. Why? Because that's what the Cove (the UK's premiere rehab facility) had kidnapped him for.

"Hello, Eunice." Rupert took a seat parallel to his patient. "My name is Dr Rupert Verisimilitude." Silence made the young man feel uncomfortable. "I... I CAN call you Eunice, right?"

Once again the young woman didn't answer him.

"Well, I guess it'll do for now."

Still no answer. She just stared at him with empty, uninterested eyes.

"See, Eunice... the two of us have one thing in common; neither one of us want to be here. So I suggest that you at least TRY to get along with me and cooperate. Who knows, maybe I can help you? I'm not saying that it will be tomorrow, or even a month for that matter, but with some patience and a bit of luck, we might just screw that head of yours back on straight."

Even now the creature didn't respond, she just kept staring at the man with nothing in her eyes but boredom.

"But... but just so you know; I don't pity anyone." Rupert said. "Not unless I think they deserve it. And the list of people on this planet who deserve my pity is a VERY short one. So... ahem! So you should think twice before you try and tell me that it's all your mother's fault or something."

Still no answer.

"Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

At first, Eunice didn't react. Then, she cracked her neck, smiled, and said:

"You will be devoured. It's just a matter of time."

Rupert buried his face in his hands and sighed. "It's gonna be one of those, eh?" He mumbled to himself. "Wonderful."

__________________________________

'Burning Skull' was one of those smelly places that only truckers, bikers and other tough guys went to in order to rest, play pool, have a drink and be rude to each other. It was always noisy and it smelled like men who had more hardcore things to do than take unimportant things like baths. There were guys with tattoos, bandannas, missing teeth, not very well kept beards and scars. So many scars.

But today came a man who made them all look like a bunch of kindergartners, one who made all the yelling and music die out simply by entering the joint, and for once this titan wasn't alone. Usually the man left the bar with a female companion he pllaned to sleep with, but as far as the bar's regulars knew, he'd never arrived with anyone. This titan was accompanied by a tall lady with tattoo and a stare that could make a iceberg melt.

"Hey, barkeep! Get us two of the strongest, biggest, most expensive drinks ya got." Max Effort took a seat at the bar, then pointed at the bald man who sat two seats away from him. "On THAT guy's tab!"

Baldy didn't protest. After all, everyone knew what kind of man Max Effort was, one wrong move and the whole joint would explode.

"Gee, dad." The tall, tattooed woman sat next to Max. "You always take me to the fanciest of places."

"Quit nagging, Minnie." Max pulled a cigar out if his inner pocket and lighted it up, then offered one to his daughter. She declined. "So..." Max asked. "Been a while since we last saw each other, eh?"

"Not long enough." Minnie finished her drink and threw her glass at the bartender, demanding another. "So how about we cut the crap, so we can get back to you doing your thing and I can get back to doing mine?"

"Fair enough." Max took a puff at his cigar. "Then we better figure out what to do once Sasha comes after us. Those chumps were just a warning. Once she turn up the heat, we're screwed."

"Whatever." Minnie burped, finishing her fourth drink of alcohol. "That evil b%tch doesn't scare me."

"Hey!" Max yelled. "Don't talk about your mother like that."

_________________________________

Well, he was on the moon. That was a thing, apparently.

Ed had just been through the worst day of his life. He was ready to bet that few people had, had a worse day than the one he'd just experienced.

One minute, he was a janitor. A poor one on top of that. Then BOOM, before he had a chance to figure out what was happening, an alien mech suit (or whatever it's called) named Ulysses bonded with him and started to kill everything in sight! Whatever Ed did, something had exploded, or a missile had fired out of his knee. It was horrible! He just wanted to disappear.

And so he did, leaving the burning building behind that had once been his workplace(till he wrecked it apart that is) and left the planet's atmosphere as easily as someone left his house. Now, he was on the moon, all alone. Trapped inside a killer robot.

"How could this get ANY worse?!" Ed cried out with his now metallic voice.

"Commander!"

He just had to ask, didn't he?

"Commander 52/25!" Another person(?) appeared out of nowhere (impressive when you were on the moon) and landed in front of him. "I'm so glad I finally found you! Quick, we must go to the mother-ship immediately! The fate of this solar system depends on it!"

_________________________________

Come now, Robbie.

"Please... Just shut up, okay?"

"I'm telling you, all you have to do is be polite and-"

"Look, I'm only doing this to make you shut up about it." Robbie said to the immortal woman who lived inside his head. "I'll ask her out, she'll say 'no' and I'll look like an idiot. So after I've done this, you'll shut up and keep your dating advices to yourself. Got it?"

"That I promise you."

Robbie entered the building and went straight to Mallory, his psychiatrist's receptionist.

"Oh, Robbie?" Mallory said surprised. She was busy with what appeared to be a ton of paperwork. "You have a session today? I'm sorry but Dr Verisimilitude is sick, so-"

"What? No, no. Not today. Actually, I... ah..." Robbie paused, and felt like an idiot. "I came be... because I wanted to stop this whole session thing. It's not working for me."

"Really, Robbie? Must I hold your hand? Be polite! Compliment her."

"Oh, okay." Mallory smiled. Then whispered; "Between you and me? He's a bit of a quack."

"But... um... Hey, nice earrings."

"Oh! Thank you."

"Told you."

Robbie had bit his lower lip so he wouldn't bang his head into the wall in an attempt to hurt Suehpro."Look, I was wondering... would you like to, like... have dinner? With me, I mean."

"Oh, um..." Mallory giggled awkwardly. "Y... Yeah. Sure."

"So, like... Is Friday after work, is that cool with you?"

"Friday is great." Mallory smiled so that one could see the little gab between her two upper front teeth.

"Okay, cool. I'll uh... I'll pick you up."

"Cool."

"Do you want my number?" He asked.

"I've already got all your contact details." Mallory pointed out. Robbie chuckled nervously while walking towards the exit.

"Oh... oh yeah! Heh. Bye!" He said, voice cracking.

"See ya."

Robbie left the building in a hurry, as if he'd stolen from his mother's cookie jar. "Alright, Suehpro." Robbie said out loud while pretending to be on his mobile. "Just say it... I know you want to! Let's get this over with."

"Oh no, I promised I would hold my tongue, so I won't say; I told you s-."

"Suehpro!" A thunderous roar could be heard across the street. "Suehpro, show yourself!"

Robbie sighed as he opened his shoulder-bag, pulled out his helmet and placed it on his head. The scrawny fella in the blue t-shirt was replaced in the blink of an eye with a gorgeous woman dressed in a white toga. Not even the helmet she was wearing could hide her beauty. Sprinting to see who so desperately sought her, she saw a giant humanoid monster with one eye who was juggling cars like they were foam balls.

"Suehpro!" The Cyclops yelled. "Your father is in need of you! I have been ordered to bring you to him. By force, if necessary!" The beast gripped a car and threw it towards the Princess of Might.

Suehpro crossed her arms, summoning a giant dual axe that she grabbed in seconds and used to to slice the car in two pieces. "My father can go to Hades for all I care! Speaking of which, prepare yourself for the end, monster!"

"Father?" Robbie's voice rang in Suehpro's head. "Who is your father? Oh god, please tell me its not Zeus or Poseidon or someone like that!"

"My father..." Suehpro swung her weapon at the Cyclops. "Is the god Portunes."

"...Um... Sorry, never heard of him."

Suehpro sighed. "Of course not. No one has."

__________________________________

"Baap, I'm bored"

"It won't take a minute, Ashiwara." Eka was studying the tomatoes in a box at the front of a greengrocer. "I think I found just the right ones."

"You keep saying that..." His impatient daughter moaned. Then, one of the tomatoes fell out of the box and rolled its way to the street. Ashiwara went after it but did not look before reaching it, paying no attention to the truck that was about to hit her. But in a split second, she was saved from the danger, as a woman in her twenties had tackled her out of the truck's path.

The driver swerved to miss them, and a metal drum was thrown loose. It fell into the street, bounced twice, and the lid came loose, dousing the woman's head and upper torso. Whatever was in the drums, it burned, and the bystanders quickly called for the relevant emergency services for the heroic woman had that saved the innocent child. By the time the ambulance got there, her skin was running and sagging everywhere she'd been drenched.

"No, no, no, no, no..." Ashiwara cried, tugging her head into her father's chest. "This is all my fault!"

"Hey, don't say that." Eka patted his little girl's head while watching the ambulance leaving in a hurry. "I'm... I'm sure the doctors can save her. It's gonna be alright." Please... Eka thought for himself. Please, for the sake of everything that is holy, let that woman be okay!

Really good issue. Liked what you did with the characters you used. I did notice a few typos though but that's fine. If you ever need someone to edit then I'm all game.

@tommythehitman: Please do, that would be great!

Hope the Max Effort lived up to your standards

@waezi2: I'll get right on it. :)

He seemed quite contained, but I guess it was the banter between him and Minnie that made the scene. Strange how a lot of my characters tend to be quite flippant with other characters.

Liked this chapter, Ed seems to be stuck in a last starfighter situation which I find oddly fitting.

@waezi2: The kid she saved was Eka's daughter- excellent tie-in!

Another thing that can be added to the long list of stuff I don't know what is XD

I liked it myself ;)

@waezi2: The Last Starfighter was one one of the greatest 80s sci fi movies. Its about a random dude who gets recruited to help save the universe based on being really good at a video game.

@joshmightbe: That sound kinda fun:)

Only here, its some dude who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and has no skill. He technically has minus skills, since he destroys everything around him :P

@waezi2: Yea, I don't see Ed actually getting his head in the game and saving the day any time soon.

First part is okay. Eunice is creepy enough and Dr V feels consistent in character. At some point someone is going to have to explain why the Cove wants to rehabilitate someone that is more or less then human depending on how you look at her. Or we can just keep passing it off, cause I'm not getting caught with that bag.

Second part was eh. Nothing to really endear me to Max and I would have preferred more characterization of Minnie. Not that Max is my favorite character though, so maybe I'm being harsh with him. Can't say I expected the reveal, so points there.

Part three could have been more, but it opens up new possibilities and questions so it gets a pass.

4 was the best to me partly because Suehpro, but mostly because that part had the most confident writing, for obvious reasons.

5 was my least favorite. It's cool to see a new character appear. She just feels like a shoe in to me. Like, instead on launching into her story like most of the characters we got her origin. Of all the characters that have appeared the only origin we saw was Ed. Maybe if her part was longer I'd like it better. I didn't say this on Batkev's chapter, but I felt the same about Dot. However, Cbishop liked your intro for her, so I suppose that's the important thing.

Overall I liked this. Just wish Ed and, ahem, "butterface" had more going on.

@waezi2: Hmm the latin god of keys has a cyclops working for him...well that's interesting indeed.

Dot Comeleon is supposed to be an unknown for the most part, so revealing little about DC isn't a big deal.

With Butterface's origin, why wouldn't I like it? It's verbatim what I wrote in the PM added to the scene with Eka. It's not so much the intro of her that I liked though- it's that waezi' managed to tie it to another character- I thought that was kind of cool.

It's also not shoehorned in, because it answers an important question that I left open in the origin- how does a girl that's doused with an unknown chemical that makes her skin run and droop suddenly make a miraculous recovery the next day? The answer: Eka- who warps reality without knowing it- wished for her to be okay. How he does that is another question entirely, but not a bad answer for a question I had no intention of addressing. :)

@cbishop: I like to see who first make up an explanation for that, but I hope he/she will remember the meaning of his last name.

@impurestcheese: YES! Someone knows her Greek gods, I see:)

(god, I'm a dork)

@cbishop: Ooh, last paragraph is cool and makes sense, good job Waezi.

@impurestcheese: Nah, it's cool, learnt about it when I taught myself latin.

@waezi2: Very good, some nice stuff in there. Some typos easily fixed...and here they are

She only refereed to herself...I think you mean referred, otherwise she's an actual referee or umpire and belongs in a sports stadium

towns folks...townsfolk. Towns folk. The double plural doesn't really work...at least it doesn't too me

"On THAT guy's tap!" I think you mean tab.

"You always take me to the fancies of places." Fanciest of places, missing a T

So how about we cut the crab so we can get back to you doing your thing and me mine?" Crab? Does the Blazing Skull do seafood? I think you mean crap

Minnie burped, finishing her fourth drink. Alcohole. ??? I don't get it? Sure Minnie burped (classy like her dad) but after that huh?

appeared out o nowhere. Of nowhere

That's what I found, nothing major, all easily fixed.

Section One: I am so looking forward to Eunice eating Dr V :) What that woman full of sea maggots is up too is beyond me

Section Two: Min's mother is the bad guy! The Effort family tree is a strange one

Section Three: What is going on with Ed? One minute broom pusher the next he's on the moon and possibly going off to intergalactic war.

Section Four: Probably my favourite! Good dialog, nice introduction of backstory and Portunes (looked that up because as a mythology fan I had no idea. The god of well, lets put a spoiler block up just in case, of keys, doors and livestock. He protected the warehouses where grain was stored.)

Section Five: That woman is going to be perfectly fine because as we know when Eka speaks the universe bends over backwards to fix things for him. But if this is the possible intro of Butterface, then she's going to need ANOTHER accident when Eka isn't around to get her powers. That is totally my opinion

Looks like you're up @impurestcheese and best you get ready too @joshmightbe :)

@cbishop: As always we'll have to agree to disagree on that note. But as I said, you liked it, so my opinion is worthless as she's isn't my character.

@batkevin74: The spelling errors had already been fixed.

Section Four: I remembered reading about Portunes when I was a kid and decided to use him since he seem to me like a low-class god

Section Five: Maybe it was the unknown chemical that gave her that power? In fact, everyone who is exposed to chemicals gets super powers. Only, they die before they can use them. ;P

@waezi2: "I hope that guy gets kicked in the nuts" And it happens

"Vishnu protect me" And boom Vishnu turns up along with Ganesh after mere mentions of their names

Eka thought for himself. Please, for the sake of everything that is holy, let that woman be okay!

By established shows of power, she's going to be perfectly fine. But that is now up to @impurestcheese whether this woman becomes Butterface. In my opinion she's fine but we'll see :)

@wildvine: Whatever. Your opinion is hardly worthless. You get a turn up at bat. You could kill them both off if you want to.

@batkevin74: Just because she's OK doesn't mean she didn't get a super power, in fact its possible for her to gain said powers as a way for the universe to make her OK since in the PM bio it stated she was always self conscious about her appearance. So maybe the universe made it so she could look however she wanted to.

@joshmightbe: this is also true. We will find out shortly from either @impurestcheese or you or @wildvine or @dngn4774 or whoever is next. I am looking forward to what's gonna happen next

@batkevin74: I think I'm like 9th, so you won't be hearing from me for awhile.

@dngn4774: Oh we will, I can only imagine what you'll unleash upon us after looking over your outlines for MM & Co again

@batkevin74: Odds are I'm just gonna take notes and short summaries of each scene that happened before my turn. After that I'll break that into 3 stories, staggered into 6 scenes (about 300 words each), give about 4 viewpoints of the events, and it's back to you. ;)

@dngn4774: Sounds kinda like what I'm going to do...and then introduce a ninja to kill Dr V (@tommythehitman smileyface)

@batkevin74: ...this series is going to tear the board apart.

And I ain't talking about the Bounty Board. 'Wink'

And that's why we agreed to be part of it. To be part of this glorious car-wreck:)

... Actually, I just did it for the sake of my ego:P

Nah. It's just fun.

bump

@waezi2: Who is Sasha?

@wildvine: She's the Governess or Warden of the Cove I believe

@wildvine: Max's daughter's mom that I just made up. Cheese made her into an actual character in chap 4.

@wildvine: Sasha Montgomery, aka Governess Montgomery. Ex-wife of Max Effort. Mother of Prime Minister Montgomery. Mother-in-law of Dragonfire. Friends with Warden Noelle "No" Aweigh, who is also an ex-wife of Max Effort.

Yes, yes, it's becoming the Kick-A-Long Soap Opera with all of those connections. :}