@koays: 1) “You really cant directly compare the relationships that easy, and it isnt directly applicable to say Cyclops felt Jean was too good for him as the summation for Jott...even if that is a major factor.”
I’d say it was for Jean and Scott that the problem was how Scott saw Jean and what Jean didn’t see. Other factors that contributed are more or less little details adding fuel to an already large fire. Logan’s interference, Jeans constant busy schedule, and Emma’s sudden interest, while contributing factors, aren’t what would have made or break the relationship. That is the bad, though, that we’ve all heard before.
2) “And for Jean you get almost a mirror story at first. When she returns the first time, shes this broken person who's had her life stolen. And through working together through her struggle to regain stability and her place in the world Jean finds that inspite of everything Scott is a constant in her life through bad and good and falls in love with that.”
Your assessment on Scott’s end of the relationship is spot on.
For Jean, it makes sense if we think the start of their relationship was after the Dark Phoenix, but that wasn’t the case. Jeans life had its downs long before she met Scott, surrounding Annie. That brings an underlying depressive feeling that affects Jeans sense of responsibility for her loved ones once Charles helps Jean heal and learn to control her powers. Jean unofficially meets Scott as a child, reaching out subconsciously though she doesn’t realize it because she senses his turmoil. Jean and Scott started falling in love sometime as X-Men, with Scotts inadequate feelings as pointed out, but on Jeans end, she doesn’t believe he feels anything for her and constantly questioned whether he truly loved her as they went through their “will they, won’t they” phase. Anytime Scott doesn’t express total delight, won’t stop her from leaving, or snaps at her, she thinks that he is not interested in her, only to either perk up or be totally confused when Scott shows worry or takes any initiative to spend time with her. While Jean tries to be the comfort of the team, being precious to the men on the team and the thing that kicks them in high gear when they lose focus on why they are doing what they do, Jean tries to reach out to Scott subconsciously like she did when she was little, seeking comfort that she wasn’t getting from the real deal until her powers are unlocked and they start dating. By then, they are really invested, but Jean leaves the team and Scott heads a new team, but still, Jean already plans for the typical life of a family with Scott with children. Luckily for her, she stops doubting him because she can sense his earnestness, though she does still wish for him to show more interest in her rather than his work. Then the Dark Phoenix Saga and Jean comes back, broken, but determined to get back to her old life, only to find that life moved on without her. So, after X-Factor forms and she tries to reconnect with Scott, Jean is once more having those insecurities of thinking he doesn’t love her, connected by the fact that she can’t read his mind. She thinks Scott’s bid to distance himself means that he has changed how he felt and then figured out that someone else is involved. She fails to realize Scott’s jealousy from Warrens inadvertent advances toward her because she is so focused on Scott once more snapping at her, giving her the cold shoulder, or just plain avoiding her, the very same situation going on in the 60’s, where Scott gets jealous of Warren or some guy who is only friends with Jean. Both cases Jean is unaware because she focuses on the mixed signals, but stops paying attention where everyone else, even Warren, see his obvious attraction evolving into love for Jean. Needless to say, Jean eventually learns once again that Scott does love her and that it was all a misunderstanding. This is a pattern for some reason that Jean always comes to the conclusion of when Scott has a small attraction to Psylocke and then Scott cheating on her with Emma. It’s hard to blame Jean for feeling like he doesn’t care, but history should have some merit, which is why I believe Jean has not only a naive outlook, but is oblivious to the more complicated problems.
4) “Essentially Jean loves Scott's strength, and to Scott Jean is his strength. And theyve been together so long it's hard to untangle even with them apart.”
This is where I disagree, not because how long they’ve been together or Scott’s view of Jean, but because Jean has some sort of insecurity that leads her to easily believe that could move on from her where she wouldn’t let him go. Jean would fight if some circumstance not in Scott’s control took him away from her, but the second Scott implies he doesn’t want to be around her or has an attraction to someone else, Jean thinks that’s it, he’s moved on and that she should do the same, without giving Scott any reason to pause or doubt himself.
5) “But for Scott it's harder to pinpoint what he loves about her”
From what I understand, it’s what he perceives as empathy, aka listening with no judgement. Someone there to balm his wounds and self-loathing. Someone there with him every step of the way, rather than trying to improve themself without him. Unlike Emma, Jean has a tendency to make leaps and bounds that no one, sometimes not even Xavier, can keep up with. She survives death, she becomes as powerful as a god seemingly, only to reveal that she never died and was replaced, but still more powerful than her original telekinetic power levels, then she is back to form with her telepathy and she slows her pace, only to take an abrupt leap again once Xavier loses his powers and disappears. She eventually takes more responsibility and Scott is dealing with something crippling his side of their relationship. Whereas in Emma’s case, she has to make slow progress because everyone lacks trust in her. She lacks trust in herself. Scott feels he has someone to relate to, not realizing he could with Jean even with her sudden power boosts or new positions involving Xavier’s dream.
6) “Jean and Scott are a love story. You can point to the moments they fell deeper in love and you know why they love eachother.
Scott and Emma are a couple. You know they care about each other and that they support and love eachother. But it's hard to point to the exact moment they fell in love.”
I see them both as a couples and love stories equally, but how they work are totally different. Ultimately what Scott says in Endsong is why I can easily compare the relationships, based on what Scott needs and how to avoid hurting the women as much as possible. It doesn’t make it anymore safe, but that is how I see their relationships, save for going into AvX, in which is a little more difficult for me to understand due to the many layers that broke Emma and Scott up, the not so clear reasons given for the decision, and the many out-of-character moments that hinder it from making any sense.
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