What If? Secret Wars #1

I truly wanted to love this issue. I'm a huge fan of Secret Wars and an even bigger fan to anything and everything What if.  This issue had it all: great cover, great art, excellent storyline, good pacing. And then there's the dialogue/script. It reads as if it's been translated through BabelFish from some middle-eastern language. This boggles my mind since Karl Bollers, the writer, worked on some rather good stuff (most notably Soldier X, which I found to be hilarious).   I just can't wrap my head around the clumsy English. I had to double-check and make sure that this isn't some parallel universe Karl Bollers. The worst offense occurs on the last page, when Doom describes the group of men he's chosen to "lead." The script just didn't flow. "Proletariats"? Are you kidding me? I'm left to wonder if this issue had any editorial advice whatosoever. A great premise ruined.