Prologue 2: Electric Boogaloo
It seems that everyone in the Ultimate Universe is some kind of sociopathic killer. Wasn't the point of the Hulk that he's more like an angry and confused child who just wants to be left alone? Doesn't it kinda kill the entire point of his character if he really is every bit the monster people think he is? What's more, everyone's making a big deal about all the "innocent civilians" Hulk keeps killing. Except this is the Marvel Universe. 95% of all the "innocent civilians" on Earth are mutant-haters and ungrateful a-holes who turn on their heroes at the drop of a hat, and have been proving Magneto right since X-Men #8, back in November 1964. Long story short, I don't know who i'm supposed to root for in the Ultimate Universe, because everyone's a bastard.
So we open on that "nuking the Hulk didn't work" incident Fury had mentioned in the last issue. Bruce washes up on shore in Normandy, where a war vet is complaining about how superheroes are always fighting the battles for them. See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. There are so many nameless extras in the Marvel Universe that I just wish Bullseye or the Abomination would brutally murder for being such an ungrateful little sh*tstain.
So a month later, Bruce is in therapy discussing his failed relationship with Betty and how he always hangs up when he tries to call her. He ends up Hulking Out and wrecking Paris mid-session. Another month later, he tries calling her again, hangs up, and it's implied he Hulks Out again. For the record, I still blame Betty for all this. Bruce was basically everyone's chew toy before the rampage, and Betty leaving him just pushed him over the edge. Now every time he tries to fix things, he looses control and people die.
So then we get a completely relevant scene about him Hulking Out on a farm in Ireland, when some guys laugh about him being a vegan for the umpteenth time. It's very important to the plot and the comic would've lost a lot if that scene hadn't been there.
And then we YET AGAIN cut to one month later, this time in India. Aside from the reason he Hulks Out being that it's a man answering Betty's phone, it's pretty much a cut-and-paste of the past few scenes. Think this has been getting repetitive? Well that's probably because it has. So we then - what else - cut ahead a month. Bruce is now hiking up the snowy mountains looking for the Panchen Lama to cure him of his anger. He turns out to be an Asian teenager - who I'm assuming is the Ultimate version of Amadeus Cho. So they talk and he brings up the idea that it's actually Hulk who changes into Banner, not the other way around. This idea was also used in a deleted scene from "The Avengers", and it's an interesting way of looking at it, but I've never understood it because: Hulk is not a natural occurrence. He exists because Banner was unnaturally altered through scientific means. He was Banner originally, so how could Hulk be the one changing into Banner if Banner's what he was born as?
But of course the issue can't resist jumping ahead a month one more time. And in that month the place has gone from a monastery full of monks to the Hulk's personal brothel. ...Somehow. So Wolverine walks in and says "Hello, Bruce." Funny, I recall it being "Hi, Bruce" in the last issue. Or are the writers so lazy they can't even keep a 2-word sentence consistent? Probably.
So not only did this one drag on as much as issue 1, it was repetitive and mostly filler.
Part 3 coming soon.