Lionel Hutz, Fat Tony, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Troy, Willie, Wiggum, Grampa, Apu and Moe are cool, but Sideshow Bob is the best!
BOB: "Soon I will kill you."
SELMA: "Huh?"
BOB: "'Son pied sentit beau.' - french for, 'her foot smells lovely.'"
SELMA: "Oh."
BOB: "Prepare to be murdered."
SELMA: "Huh?"
BOB: "'Hai pa de babe mu' that's...sanskrit for 'Your toes are like perfume.'" (I think Bob made this one up).
SELMA: "Ah."
BOB: "Voy a matar a usted."
SELMA: "Wha?"
BOB: "That's Spanish for 'I'm going to kill you.'"
LAWYER: "Robert, if you were released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?"
SIDESHOW BOB: "Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole?"
PAROLE PANEL: "We object to the term 'urine-soaked hell-hole' when you could have said, 'pee-pee soaked heck-hole'."
SIDESHOW BOB: "Cheerfully withdrawn!"
PAROLE PANEL LADY: "What about that tatoo on your chest, doesn't it say 'Die Bart, die'?"
SIDESHOW BOB: "No, that's German for, 'The Bart, the.'"
PAROLE PANEL LADY: "Oh! No one who speaks German could be an evil man!"
MARGE: "You awful man! Stay away from my son!"
SIDESHOW: "Oh, I'll stay away from your son alright - stay away forever!
HOMER: "Oh no!"
SIDESHOW: "Wait a minute - that's no good. Eeeugheeugheueoo!"
(Bob leaves, then returns): "Wait, I've got a good one now - Marge - say, 'Stay away from my son!' again."
MARGE: "No."
SIDESHOW: "Eeeugheeugheeoo..."
"Oh, that was a big mistake, Bart. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it."
"The truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!"
BOB: "Oh come, now. You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at clown college?"
CECIL (Bob's brother): "I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."
BOB: "Just the thought of all that raw, surging power makes me wonder why the hell I should care."
CECIL: "Because, you'll be supervising the construction crew."
BOB: "Oh great, whenever a woman walks by, I suppose it will be my job to lead the hooting: "Oh yeah! Shake it madam! Capital knockers!""
BOB: "You've brought shame to this family, Cecil. Oh I don't relish having to write the Christmas letter this year."
CECIL: "Nor I to read it
BOB (about to be put in jail again): "But you can't do this! I saved the children's lives. I'm a hero!"
CECIL: "Tell them they'll live to regret this."
BOB: "You'll live to regret this! Oh thanks a lot, now I look crazy."
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