Up in the Sky it's a Bird it's a Plane it's a Flying Turd
By The Angry Comic Book Critic
Here it is folks the big one. One of the all time worst super hero movies ever made and since it's about my least favorite Super hero this is gonna be fun.Okay we all know basic laws of physics like sound cannot be produced in space gravity keeps us on the earth and you cannot breath in outer space...Well in this little number you might as well throw those laws on the bond fire because nothing in this movie takes a hold on even the slightest grip of reality so I say welcome to...THE MIND FUCK. We're up is down, dragons breath potatoes and Michael Bay has found his fantasy world come true...this is gonna be tough so I better prepare myself for this insanity with my good old buddy Mr.Heroine maybe then I might be able to come out this shit with my sanity because I'll be too high as a kite to give a shit!
Okay this all begins with some Kosmonauts and for those of you never heard of such a thing never fear Mr.Explaination man is here!"A Kosmonaut is a Russian equivalent to an Astronaut." Thank you Mr.Explaination Man,Now where was I?Oh yeah so the Kosmonauts are working in space and suddenly one of them get hit by a large piece of space garbage moving at the speed of an Hummer and you know what?...HE'S OKAY flying through the endless vaccum of space but he's okay then he gets saved by the ever loving tool super-man who's cape is flapping in the wind...wait what?! There's no air in space how the hell is his cape moving like that and then he talks?How the fuck can you talk in space unless your god you can'nt do that it just doesn't make sense oh wait I forgot pyhsics take the back door to reality in this mess of a film but at least they still have the classic score that's something right?Right? okay let's move on to the rest of the crazyness that is Superman IV Lex oh yes a classic villian played by none other than the great Gene Hackmen he been in this once great series since the begining and what is he up to this Oh I know still serving 10 to 20 in the state pen but wait his nephew breaks him out...Newphew?
When the hell did he have a nephew oh well what is his big plan this? Oh it's make a superman clone like thing called Nuclear Man.Okay let me just go on record here and say when I 1st saw this guy I said to myself "Oh I was unawared they were having a sale on super villains at Claires." Because honest to god this guy sparkled so much that it made the guys in twilight seem like actual vampires and not a bunch of pussies I shit you not he even had what looked to be press on nails...really these guys actually had the balls to make their villian look like the new symbol of the pride parade? GIVE ME A BREAK!!! What stoner thought this up no wait that's an insult to stoners not even they could come up with something this retarded this is the work of someone in the same league as Uwe Bowl. This film was just retarded and the budget was so low they actually had to reuse the same shot of superman flying in almost every scene he was in and this film is just so ridiculus it actually has Nuclear man fly a woman into space without a space suite and she seems to be just fine no air isn't a problem in this I guess all those scientists were wrong we can breath in space hey we don't need space ships to leave earth the atmosphere burning you to a crisp is just a myth yeah...ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKING CRAZY???!!! That's it I'm done I can't take this anymore this is just to stupid for me to give the time of day to only an absolute moron would believe any part of this shit made any sense and if anyone does I pitty them because they are that stupid.
I'm The Angry Comic Book critic and this shit stain get's the stamp of approval