the_angry_comic_book_critic's Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace review

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What Was the Point Exactly?

By The Angry Comic Book Critic 
       Now don't get me wrong I love the Star Wars franchise to death save for this and a special that shall remain nameless it is an almost perfect saga. But to me this was pure shit for a star wars film and gave birth to the single most annoying, barf inducing, cock knocker of a character in Sci-fi JAR JAR BINKS...I FUCKING HATE JAR JAR AND FUCK YOU LUCAS FOR MAKING HIM WHAT A LIVE ACTION HOWARD THE DUCK AND A GODAWFUL STAR WARS SPECIAL WASN'T ENOUGH FAILURE FOR YOU?!YOU HAD TO PISS OFF YOUR FANS EVEN MORE?!!!...Okay I'm cool I just needed to get that off my chest because my god you have know idea how much I wanted to see that fish faced fucker get his head chopped off then have Naboo Blown to shit by the Death Star to ensure none of the Gungans would survive because if there is any species in the galaxy the simply should not exist it's between them and Kathy Griffin because never ever have I seen a more annoying creature in my life wait...Carrot Top yeah he qualifies. Now aside from that horrid blemish on this film it does have some pretty sweet moments that truly shoot to thrill like the pod races and you know what popped into my head when I saw that? Wow Nascar just became entertainment for people other than rednecks and before people who aren't rednecks but think I'm calling them one send men hate mail let me just say Nascar only makes up for 2% of what makes a redneck if you live in a trailer, slept with your cousin and are as open minded as a mule well then you just may be a redneck."KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!" wait someones at the door...Huh Jeff foxworthys suing me for that joke oh well it was worth it. 
        Now Darth Maul I have never seen a more badass sith I mean dual bladed lightsaber that is just fucking awesome and the man hands Liam Neson his ass in this film and yeah he may have been a silent villain but it just made him all the cooler. Aside from the effects and the grade a casting I felt this film was the Avatar of it's day all visuals with no heart I mean the cast was solid but Lucas be honest you wrote it over a weekend and a six pack and listened to your kids far to much for your own good.Oh I just remembered this film makes a lot fuck ups in terms of the saga as a whole A. being It was Yoda who trained Obi-Wan Kenobi not this Qui Gon Jin. I mean it was like Lucas just started from stratch and ignored the past three films he did.
          I'm The Angry Comic Book Critic and this gets the Stamp of Approval
 
Phantom Menace

CERTIFIED DECENT!!!!

Other reviews for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

    OMG...... 0

    The only good think about this movie is fight scenes, and Darth Maul. Nothing else is good.The story is boring, and the characters are bland like my toast is. Darth Maul death is PIS, because Obi Wan had height advantage (in star wars episode 3). Just like Darth Maul did, but Darth Maul was cut in half. This movie is predictable, because Obi Wan is in Star Wars Episode 5. I went in this movie as expected....

    1 out of 3 found this review helpful.

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