bloodwolfassassin's Secret Six #5 - Six Degrees of Devastation, Part Five: Life As We Know It review

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    BETRAYAL!!!

    So remind me, where did we leave off? Oh, right Scandal Savage walking in on her lover having sex with her co-worker and friend. Scandal, being and expert assassin and daughter of a psychotic immortal caveman, more or less has this reaction,

    She naturally starts beating the holy sh*t out of Deadshot, with knives, lot's of knives. Deadshot is in no mood or position to fight back and tries to calm her down and Knockout appears to have no idea what's going on. Knockout then reveals that on her home planet of Apokolips, the survivors of an intense battle always have sex with each other, it doesn't mean anything romantic, it's just something that they do, it's like stretching after a workout. I was planning on defending this concept but after re-reading this issue there are a few things that bug me about it, but we'll get to that by the end. And just in case any of you were still aroused by the sex scene, Hatter walks in... naked... enjoy!

    In the madness Scandal decides to leave due to the pain she's caused everyone through this misunderstanding. Then Hatter says in regards to the thrashing he took from Scandal, and I quote, "I've paid for more robust beatings with the change of a coin purse." Lovely, Mad Hatter is a masochist. I wish I was still able to be shocked by these things at this point. As it turns out, Scandal had planned on leaving to take care of Vandal on her own so as not to put her friends in danger for a while, and this unpleasant incident just gave her an excuse to leave. However, the team deduces the truth fairly quickly, partially because we are not presently trying to wash what's left of Deadshot out of the carpet, but mostly because Hatter bugged her clothes, in fact he bugged everyone's clothes. This actually makes a lot of sense given that Hatter is a tech wiz and a paranoid criminal mastermind, but frankly I'm more concerned with the fact that at some point during this mini-series, Hatter went through Ragdoll's underwear drawer. I don't want to think anymore.

    Now that they know where Scandal went, they mobilize and get ready to save her from the awful fate of procreating with some guy in a cat suit, OH THE HORROR!! On the way, we learn that Hatter's high tech hat is programmed to make him trip balls. As Deadshot puts it, "Any other team That'd seem odd." That just about sums up every single character in this entire mini series.

    Meanwhile Scandal arrives in Tokyo and confronts her father. During a polite conversation over dinner, Scandal casually slits his throat, but of course, Vandal being immortal, that doesn't work. The rest of the issue is pretty straight forward. Scandal fights her father and the others arrive in Japan and storm the castle. The Mad Hatter briefly neutralizes Doctor Psycho (because Captain Bad Guy and Professor Criminal were busy that week) and our issue ends with him getting stabbed and poisoned by Cheshire.

    What Works:

    Pretty much all I've been talking about since the beginning, but nothing really new was added to this one.

    What Doesn't:

    I don't like the whole Knockout and Deadshot business just on moral principle but believe it or not, I will defend it in a minute. However, two things about the whole Apokolips after-battle-sex thing. A. Apokolips is a planet where children are bred to be warriors and taught from birth to believe that love is pain and torture is the kindest form of affection. It's a bit of a stretch to believe that Lord Darkseid would implement a decree that after every major victory everyone gets together in a massive orgy, but whatever, aliens are aliens. B. Given that Scandal and Knockout are lovers, it's an even bigger stretch that Scandal would not know about her girlfriend's customs. But now let me attempt to defend this. I would like to state for the record that, fictitious or otherwise, I do not condone their behavior, but I do understand it. Knockout has the whole alien cultural sex ritual excuse, which is silly and nonsensical but not enough that I won't accept it.

    Deadshot on the other hand is more complicated to explain. If you'll recall, In issue 4, Deadshot had just finished severing all ties with his wife and daughter for their own protection and doing so tore him apart. I know people who have lost their children because of divorce or separation, it takes a massive toll on them regardless of what kind of moral fiber that person has. I cannot relate to that situation, but I do know that when something very distressing happens to me, I need something to clear my head. Something like watching a movie or playing video games or writing reviews for this very website. So what does a guy like Deadshot do? I'd imagine he was probably pondering the same question when in walks a gorgeous red head with super powers who just propositioned you for sex. Well... there we are. I'm sure Deadshot probably wasn't thinking clearly and accepted without question, and don't say you'd be thinking clearly after getting beat up by super heroes and severing ties with your loved one's. I do not condone this behavior, but I do understand it.

    Overall

    3.5/5

    I often find that the second to last issue in a mini-series tends to be the weakest and such is the case here. most of the issue is just set up for the explosive finale that is soon to come.

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