Comic Vine Review


X-Men: Schism #3 - Schism, Part Three


The X-Men have faced countless adversaries; from secret societies set destroy them to seemingly omnipotent beings set on devouring Earth -- now they face a bunch of kids. Will they survive against...children?

We are officially half way through Schism, and that means that the demise of the X-Men team is imminently near. The X-Men have been attacked by children, so what happens next? With Emma Frost in San Francisco for the opening of the Museum of Mutant History, and Cyclops stuck on Utopia, will the X-Men be united in time to save themselves from an attack from a bunch of masked children?

The Good

There are some absolutely priceless one liners in this issue, but my favorite has to be the one-page spread featuring mini bios of the "Hellfire kids." Wilhemina's is by far the best.

"Mr. Farmnesworth didn't like to be tickled, so I made his head all squishy. Now he doesn't mind."

Clearly, these are some freaky ten-year olds, but are they proper adversaries for the X-Men? Are they really so threatening that they should be the primary villains in the biggest X-Men story arc since Second Coming? In a story that is supposedly going to be the cause of the X-Men team break-up? You can't go wrong with Daniel Acuna's art. It's beautiful, and he makes Emma Frost look sophisticated and classy -- two things that don't happen nearly as much as I would like in X-Men books. Middle towards end of the issue we catch yet another glimpse at the sparks of hostility between Wolverine and Cyclops.

The Bad

At this point, I just want these two to throw down and get it over with so this mini series can be over. The idea of a bunch of children being capable of taking on the X-Men is just silly. Understandably, these kids have ample resources, and I recognize it's a comic and it's fantasy, but I can't wrap my head around the idea that the companies tied to these children don't have stock holders that would question where the hell the money is that is going to some fancy succubus weapons. I saw the movie 'Sugar and Spice.' At least I saw some of that movie, and there's a reason why I didn't finish it. Same concept, not a novel idea. Emma Frost does not sound like Emma Frost. Just because she wears lingerie, doesn't mean everything that comes out of her mouth has to be vapid, does it? Does this really sound like Namor?

"Thank the Gods. I would rather be shot in the face with a harpoon gun than pose for another ridiculous photograph."

Maybe Jason Aaron should try that line in a Wonder Woman mini series.

The Verdict

I can't say this book is entirely bad, because it does have it's moments -- or should I say, it has some fantastic one liners. And while the concept isn't really great, and the characterization of Emma Frost is totally off, Iit's entertaining enough to keep reading because I know it will ultimately lead to a fight between Cyclops and Wolverine, and that's all I really care about.