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I am Comrade Superman, champion of the common worker who fights a never-ending battle for Stalin, socialism, and the international expansion of the Warsaw Pact. And I will take over the whole damn world if I have to!

I’m Lex Luthor, and I have a plan that for sure will take care of the Soviet Union’s Man of Steel. But it will require finesse, patience and perfect timing.

Superman, you are a jerk!

O Bozhe, You’re right! I will seize all my action immediately!

I sent our son to the past so that he might prevent this apocalypse, my love. In the past, he will gain powers from the sun that back then was yellow instead of red. Kinda like Superma… Wait a minute… Oh, SON OF A B-