I was getting my ass kicked tonight by my homework. I'm in college studying to be a computer forensic investigator, and with each semester it gets more technical. I'm starting to think I'm just setting myself up to fail because I never was savvy with technology, and it's starting to show. When I read my school books the words aren't having any meaning to me; they're just words.

Maybe I have a lack of understanding, a lack of time and energy, maybe I'm just starting to get burned out, or perhaps I have a lack of interest or effort. I'm trying though, but I'm thinking about changing majors. The only problem is what will click for me? Honestly what's motivating me to do forensics is the money. It's a high paying job that's in short supply and in high demand. Perhaps that will be enough to motivate me through the remaining year and a half that I have left?

So I meet this girl on a dating site, she's the only one that I really had any luck with out of the dozens I messaged. I arranged a date with her last Tuesday and she seemed to really like me, but now she tells me today that she doesn't think she's ready for a relationship and hints that she still has feelings for her ex.

She was a beautiful and very smart dog, half Husky and half Wolf. It was because of her breed that she lived so long. She was pretty spoiled, especially in the last few years, and loved being outside. But her sight and hearing was bad, her teeth were getting poor, and her hind legs were getting weaker and weaker. It came to the point where she could barely walk. And sadly, the other younger dogs were starting to bully her despite my wrath.

We took her into the vet this morning hoping there would be a solution, but the doctor believed that her nerves were getting pinched and that eventually she wouldn't be able to walk anymore, and he also saw signs of stomach cancer developing. We knew that even if we could help her, she was just on a downward hill, so it was decided that it would be best to put her to sleep.

But despite her impairments, she was so full of life and she would just burst with energy at times, especially outside. And even though she hasn't been able to run in years, that didn't stop her from skipping along. She may have been in silent pain, but she had such a will to live which makes this so hard.

I love her, and I miss her.

The good news is I got a girl's number, the bad news is that it turns out she's 16.

She's a cashier and she was wearing a poorly done tie. I said that I can't do any better, she asked if it was bad and I said she should see mine. She then looked at me and smiled as I walked by.

I thought that was a good sign, so a while later I went up to her to get her number. I asked how long she had been working there, she said she's new, only starting sbot two months ago. I said that wasn't really "new" and she said she thinks so since she's still learning. I said she looked like she new what she was doing hitting those buttons. I saw some customers coming and I jumped right into it "My name's Mitch, can I get your number"? She asked how old I was and I said 22. She said she's 16. I was bummed and kinda shifting my weight to my other leg to walk away when she said "Still want it?" I (reluctantly) said sure and said we can still talk or something.

I got this from Energizer.

Wow, that's pretty accurate! However I defy the social standard and call carbonated beverages "Soda." It sounds cooler.

I heard rumors a few months ago, but as of yesterday it seems to be the buzz all over the net. Possibly just a cameo that'll lead to a spin-off movie, but anything's good to me.

Who's playing Deadpool? Get ready for this one girls... Ryan! No, not Mitch Ryan, it's Ryan Reynolds! I know many of you are disappointed that it's not me, but I thought all of you would be almost as happy with Mr. Reynolds.

She deleted me off of her MySpace buddy list and deleted my posts. What the fuck is wrong with this girl??! She wants to meet me, we play around and she thanks me for going with her to the fireworks and asks me to call some time so we can hang out, and then she just ignores me and erases my existence.

I started talking to a girl on MySpace, I started it by sending her a PM saying like "I was looking for people nearby and it was hard not to notice you." I then ended it with a question about her occupation, and we started having a PM conversation. Then Saturday I asked how her weekend was shaping up and she said that she really wanted to go to the winter festival, but was sick. I said I was going to go and she asked if I was going with anyone, I said some family and asked her if she wanted to go with us. She then told me her friend canceled (with a smiley face) and asked for my phone number so we could coordinate, and said that she's not one of those stalker chicks. We then met up and watched the fireworks and talked. After that she thanked me for going with her and asked me to call her sometime so we can hang out again.

I then tried calling Monday to see if she wanted to go out on Friday night, but my bloody cell phone lost the signal before I could and after wrestling with the cell phone I decided to use the house phone (which I initially didn't want her to know, I'm trying to hide my family's insanity), but she didn't answer. So I sent her a message over MySpace saying what happened and she said that what happened confused her and she eventually gave up, she then said she'd get a hold of me later so I replied telling her my home phone and AIM name but she hasn't read it yet and I didn't hear from her... so now I went from confident to insecure because I don't know if she tried my cell phone again or just blew me off. She had been on her MySpace twice and she hasn't read the PM I sent her telling her my home phone and AIM name. There might have been a glitch so she didn't get the announcement, or she may have thought she already read it, I know both of those have happened to me before... or she's ignoring me. I can either be optimistic or pessimistic. I sent her another PM today containing the same information, but she has been on 2 more times and still hasn't read either of them.

I could just be panicking, but why doesn't she read her messages? ::sigh:: This is the closest I've ever gotten to getting a girlfriend, since no girls wanna do anything with me ever.