Lame Hispanic Characters

This would be the companion piece to my list of cool hispanic characters. For the most part these are the guys who are just pathetic. Their powers are lame, their look is lame, and they probably have little or no depth/personality to speak of. For the most part I do not see them as having any apprecciable potential for greatness, even if handed over to a competent writer. Alternatively, I will also include characters who might have decent powers/abilities, but they've never been treated as anything but a B or C-List character at best. They're practically little more than supporting cast. Token Brown Characters get to be here too, if 'Token Brown Character' is all they are.

Note: I've recently come to understand the difference between Race and Ethnicity, and realize I use the word "Hispanic" pretty inaccurately in several places. I should go edit them. But I won't. Cuz I'm lazy. But i'm not lazy because i'm hispanic. I'm lazy because i'm American. :)

List items

  • Oh where do I start with you Angelo? You fail bro. On every conceivable level you just fail. I'd call you a poor man's Elongated Man, but what an epic insult that would be to the Elongated Man. Plastic Man and Mr. Fantastic have shown that stretching powers CAN be pretty badass. But dear Angelo here can't even stretch past the six foot mark. Seriously Marvel? Seriously? And he doesn't even stretch really. I mean, he's still got a solid, non-stretchable skeleton and internal organs all stay where they are when he uses his powers(though sometimes the artists forget that). So that means he doesn't even have the great resistance to superpunches or bullets that people with stretchy powers normally get. Noooooo. God forbid he at least have a respectable defense to go with his grotesque disfigurement. Even as a character he fails. Pretty much a pure stereotype of a mexican street punk/gangbanger. Seriously Marvel? Seriously? Wow that was a real stretch huh? Pun intended. He couldn't even "close the deal" with Jubilee for heaven's sake. I mean c'mon, Jubilation Lee is not exactly the hottest little tart on the various X-Teams, yanno? It shouldn't be that hard to hit that. Chamber is missing half his face and he still gets more ass than Angelo ever did. And to add insult to that particular failure he was shortly thereafter killed by common racist(Well, speciesist technically) punks and crucified on an X...so I guess he got X-ified.

  • Oh look. Another Luchador. Sigh. Despite having the claim to fame of being the man who "Broke the Bat", it has since been made painfully clear that Bane was a one-hit wonder. He's a grotesquely overmuscled freak who is pretty easily taken apart once you cut off his supply of super-steroids, which probably means his genitals are super-shrunken. Sigh. Despite being initially depicted as a brilliant tactician, all he really did was utilize common sense by attacking Batman when he was exhausted. Has he outsmarted or outmaneuvered Batman just once since then? I think not. Now he's just another villain in Batman's rogue's gallery who utterly fails to inspire any sense of dread when he appears on the battlefield. He even got his arse kicked by some third rate generic Judo chump hero who I won't bother naming because you never heard of him anyway. ==EDIT UPDATE== Yanno, as much as I ragged on him I do think that if they give Bane enough skill to be able to match Batman even without the Venom(and maybe establish definitively that he does NOT have super shrunken steroid genitals), that he'd be a salvagable and respectable character. Somebody at DC must have been thinking the same thing because he was recently revealed with be the son of a blonde haired, blue eyed slice of Aryan perfection named King Snake. I suppose there's still an outside chance of his mother being hispanic. I suspect the decision to "white him up" a bit is a prelude to them pushing Bane up to a more respectable level as a villain/anti-hero. Figures huh? We shall see.

  • Yanno, I MIGHT consider nudging Darwin to the cool list in time. But he's not quite there yet. He DOES have cool and respectable powers but seriously Marvel. What is this thing you guys have where your precious few hispanic mutants just HAVE to be grotesquely disfigured? First Skin, now Darwin? Did Darwin even make it through House of M with his powers intact? Hell I dunno. Frankly he never really stood out that much. Maybe somebody will finally do something with him to bump him over to my cool list.

  • I wanted to put Living Lightning on the cool list. He DOES have genuinely cool powers, but his portrayal was always pretty stereotypical and one dimensional. He was a big ladies man, which I guess was supposed to make his later change into a homosexual ironic or something. Yeah, they made him gay...which COULD have been an oppurtunity to add a new level of depth to him as a character but was instead done as a throwaway joke, while he was applying to a team made up of throwaway jokes. His "coming out" was done in a diminishing way. Living Lightning has a ton of potential if some writer ever decides to do him justice. But he has a good distance left to go.

  • My eyes! My eyes!! I need my eyes for seeing! Why?! Why?! Why indeed. I think even homosexuals would look at that costume and say this guy looks like a fruity Zorro wannabe. And his powers? Setting aside how lame they were to begin with, he got depowered on M Day. Has he even made an appearance in thirty years? I hope not. =EDIT UPDATE= Apparently he's made a comeback in recent Iron Fist comics. I'm still trying to gather information on whether or not he continues to be a shame to his people.

  • Shortly after creating dear Paco here, DC must have realized what a horrid mistake they had made because they promptly granted him the dubious distinction of being the very first member of the Justice League to be killed in action. Way to go Paco. I'm proud of ya buddy. A painful stereotype from the moment of his creation to the moment of his death, there's really not much worth saying about this guy. His powers weren't bad. They weren't great either, but they weren't bad.

  • She should have been on the cool list. She has all the ingredients. A personality, an education. Her powers started kind of bland, but developed some kickass offensive potential later on. Then they turned her into a drug addict. And pretty much forgot she existed from then on, barring the occasional cameo appearance every couple of years. Seriously, very shortly after her drug addiction storyline she just faded into obscurity. Congratulations on turning one of the few respectable hispanic characters you have into a big fat wad of nothing Marvel.

  • Ah Gangbuster. He COULD be cool. Instead he's a poor man's batman. A really poor man's batman. Seriously, there was a good stretch of time there where in his civilian guise this guy couldn't even hold down a job. Way to play to the "lazy hispanics" stereotype DC. Nicely done. I suppose my real difficulty with trying to respect this guy though stems from the time he barely survived an encounter with two random beatcops when he was temporarily on the run from the police. Two random beatcops bring him within an inch of his life, and i'm supposed to take this jobber seriously? Please.

  • Sigh. Another disfigured hispanic mutant. This is becoming an unhealthy trend with you Marvel. Ok, I guess if you're a Furry, or Japanese then you consider Feral to be hot stuff. What is it with you people and cat-girls? Anyway...most people prefer their women on the non-hirsute side. What's her personality? Angry and fiery! Ok, if you've ever been in a house full of latina women, maybe that one isn't so far off the mark. But that's pretty much all she ever was. As far as powers go, pretty much a substandard wolverine clone through and through. Then they depowered her on M-Day. Then she was so patheticly weak-willed that she went and got herself cosmetically modified BACK into a cat-girl. COSMETICALLY. She didn't even think to get actual powers back. Just her body hair. Way to go honey. Way to go. Somehow she just failed to notice that she didn't actually have any of her freakin' powers, and decided to go face off against the likes of sabertooth. Real bright honey. And to top it all off, she died like a chump and was eaten. Didn't even put up a fight. They killed her off like she was nothing but a throwaway character. Then again, I guess that's all she ever really was.

  • My first introduction to this character came in a Daredevil story where he got embarassed by a common street punk robbing a store. Then he was arrested by two common beatcops when he was almost literally(and quite stupidly) caught holding the bag. Then he stupidly got himself shot to death escaping from the courthouse when his trial revealed what a pathetic home life he had. Is it any surprise he's here on the lame list with a record like that?

  • Considering Feral was just a low-rent Wolverine, how sad is it that Thornn here is just a low-rent Feral? Everything that was wrong with Feral? Even worse here. I mean, at least Feral could spell. Hey Thornn, you do realize you've got one N too many there doncha? Sigh.

  • She does have great powers, but if I had two pennies to rub together for everybody who's ever heard of her i'd have...well...two pennies. A D-List character who couldn't even speak english. I'm not sure if she ever overcame that hurdle, but since nobody's ever heard of her does it even matter? Plus she's stuck in her water form all the time. That might make for interesting depth and developement in a mainstream character, but this chick is just supporting cast. In a character like this, being permanenetly disfigured just adds to the lameness.

  • An entire team of lameasses! Well gosh golly, don't that just beat all? I mean they're supposed to be based on religious god-like spirits...and they pretty much get punked out by Daredevil. Now don't get me wrong. Daredevil's a badass. He's got crazy ninja skillz. But he's still only human. Not even Peak Human like Captain America or Vargas. He's like, Olympic Human. And he made chumps out of these guys. And if memory serves, he had a cold when he did it. A whole team of latino gods, and they couldn't even handle the night time, sneezing, coughing, aching head, fever, so you can rest daredevil. Punks.

  • There's precious little worth saying about her. Lame costume. Like they took the cat woman costume, and then added those funky "cat cheeks" in order to strip it of all sexy-ness. Ok powers, but she never really accomplished anything and then she died. The end. Well, no not the end. Then her brother died too, which seems to indicate her lameness was a terminally contagious condition.

  • While he has benefited from a recent blessing of semi-competent writing, about the only interesting thing that can be said about Ric is that they retconned him into a bisexual(Though, if you look at his original..err.."costume", maybe it's not that big a retcon). And once the novelty of that wears off, all we're left with is a guy who's powers weren't all that impressive BEFORE they took his powers away on M-Day. He's also attempted or at least contemplated suicide on two different occasions which just kinda makes him lame....r. Recent writing has portrayed the character with more humor which is a good step in the right direction I suppose. But it's a small step too. From what I've seen of his newfound bisexuality it's played more for shock value and laughs than any kind of attempt at character growth or change, so I'm not impressed.

  • Ugh...icky! A super freak of a character who gave birth to a litter of ULTRA freak babies with her mega freak boyfriend. Seriously man, what the hell? Overweight, nasty attitude, and her super power involves spitting green slime? What Marvel, were you trying to hit a repulsiveness trifecta here? And then Marvel went for the hat-trick by hooking her up sexually with a character more repulsive than she was and having them make the ickiest babies I've ever seen in a comic book. You want to know how repulsive this chick was? She became MORE tolerable when she got depowered on M-Day. She lost alot of weight too apparently. But she still made a dozen freak babies, so she sort of pulled a Captain Janeway there. I am strongly anti-abortion, but damn I would have made an exception here. A dozen exceptions to be precise. Anyway, making a dozen grotesque freak babies has garunteed her place on this list.

  • Don't really know much about this guy since his appearances have been few and far between. As far as I can tell at this point he has only appeared as a Daredevil "Random Villain of the Month". As per the norm for hisanics in comics, he has fallen into one of the only three niches allowed. Luchador, Gangbanger, or Matador(Also known as Zorro without a Cape). I'm not counting Maid/Janitor of course though I wouldn't be surprised at this point. Hell, he's even named after his niche. Now i'll give him this much, Matador costumes do kinda kickass. Bonus points for not ruining the costume with one of those silly hats. But basically once he stepped up to the big leagues, this guy got one-punched by Daredevil. DD just took him apart with little effort. Color me unimpressed.

  • La Who? Huh?I think we've found us a character here even more obscure and unheard of than Aquamaria, and that my friends is no small feat. I'll get back to this one when I do a bit more research on her but based purely on first observations i'm thinking Albino Dominatrix...there could be some possibilities to work with there.

  • By far the blandest and least interesting member of DV8 I honestly forgot he even existed until I stumbled across this profile here on Comicvine. He had no real prescence on that team and was largely little more than a forgettable background character. He had no real interaction with anybody on his team, no storylines specific or unique to him besides breifly developing an interest in an incestuous mutant crack addict. No, i'm not kidding. Furthermore, emotion-fueled strength has never been that spectacular to me. I mean, at least Hulk is already freaktastically strong and tough even at his default level. His rage just takes that already potent power and magnifies it. Put Powerhouse here up against an emotionless robot, or a run-of-the-mill sociopath and he's paste.

  • Actually if it were just a matter of powers Anita might belong on the cool list since she has just about any power you care to name, and if she doesn't have it yet she will have it soon. The concept of Mary Sue should really be renamed for Anita. But it's her loathsome personality that compelled me to put her here. If you ever watch the show In Plain Sight, the character of Mary Shannon is a wonderful example of what Anita used to be(minus the monsters and super powers of course). Somewhere along the line though, Anita kept becoming more and more casually abusive and dismissive to the very people she claims to be protecting. That would be fine if the point of the story was Anita's struggle to retain or regain her humanity, but Anita only pays lipservice to that...when she's not paying lipservice to the...ahem...members of the many members of her little boy-harem. Which is actually pretty much all she ever does anymore. Hey I like porn as much as the next guy but if I want porn, that's what the internet is for. When i pick up a book, I know to expect a little bit of sex mixed in to the story. Not a little bit of story mixed in to the sex.

  • The powers here are kinda...meh. He grows in size, and his strength increases with his size. That's not a particularly impressive power set to me, because characters with that ability are routinely and effortlessly out-muscled by regular-sized people with superstrength, like Thor, Hulk, Thing, etc, etc. Goliath got fragged by a cheap Thor knock-off for Asgard's sake. So nothing special about this guy on that front. Furthermore he apparently can't be bothered to actually have a real codename. Newsflash Delgado...you're no Vargas. You're nowhere near badass enough to just use your mundane surname as a villain name chump. What else is there to say about this guy? Pretty much a D-List villain. One of Magneto's groupies. He died. He got resurected. He promptly died again. Good riddance.

  • Ok, the orange hair makes me dubious of Fabian's latino-osity...but apprently where Marvel Mutants are concerned, purple, green and blue are NATURALLY occuring hair colors. So Orange on a latino isn't so far fetched. And the name defnitely say hispanic here. So with that out of the way let's take a litte looksie-doodle at Fabian's hit list of lame. Lack of a proper code name? Check. Lame ass super power(He makes other people's powers better!!)? Check. Sycophantic personality? Check. Conniving backstabber? Check. Yeah, I think we can safely call this guy one lame choomba.

  • This is a clone of Sunspot, minus the very few good things that just barely squeezed Sunspot onto my Cool Hispanic Characters list. No surprise Reignfire ended up here.

  • I'm trying very, very hard to find somebody who sucks harder than this loser. Gimme a minute...gimme a minute...

  • ...found one!

  • This is one of those one-shot characters who was created for the sole and specific purpose of being killed within two pages of his first appearance. He did his lame-ass job quite well. Rest in peace loser.

  • Basically, this is DC's answer to Feral. Hey, it could have been worse. She could have been DC's answer to Thornn. Oh, wait. It seems she shares Thornn's fundamental inability to spell. Feral wins again. Take your victories where you can get them Feral. At least you have literacy on your side. Anyway, back to Pantha. Let's see...angry, hairy, cat girl. Her only real claim to fame was getting decapitated by Superboy Prime in the midst of a temper tantrum. Then they brought her back. Now decapitation is a tough one to come back from so i'll give her props on that. But they killed her again. Disintigration. It's like they were saying "And this time, STAY dead!!". Amen.

  • This one was a hero who turned into a villain, who was trying to turn into a hero. If that's not enough to lock his place into this list, try this on for size. The reason for all of this? He was the lamest and least popular guy on his hero team, so he went and hired a villain to unleash a killer robot on the city so he could swoop in and save the day. Let's just say, it didn't quite go according to plan. He's so lame Comicvine won't even put a picture of him up! =EDIT UPDATE= Comicsvine finally put a picture up! And oh look...another Zorro-wannabe. Thanks for proving you deserve your place on this list bro.

  • Once again, marvel gives us a hispanic mutant so hideously and permanently disfigured that he shall never know the touch of a woman. Yay! No wait, I meant...sigh. He does have decent powers I suppose, but considering how effortlessly the Hulk took him apart(literally), I am distinctly unimpressed. He has not been badly characterized(yet) and he has had some decent showings, but he's definitely a second-banana type of character. He hasn't demonstrated any particular intelligence or creativity with his powers. Aside from a ranged attack of somewhat dubious utility, he's your basic stereotypical "brick"...and in his first ever true test as the team brick against the aforementioned Hulk he failed. Now there's no shame in failing against the Hulk. But Santo here didn't just fail. He Epic-Failed. Oh, and on top of all that he IS the kind of character who has to break into Spanglish every ten minutes to remind us that he's the token brown guy. Double Sigh. I will say one positive thing about him. Somehow, someway, though it defies all reason an A-Lister like Hulk actually knew who Santo was. How the hell that happened I can't even begin to imagine since Hulk had just returned from a lengthy hiatus from the other side of the Universe, but apparently Rockslide's reputation precedes him. Heh.

  • One of the fantastic four's D-List villains. This guy was never a very credible threat to them. Despite a long history he's pretty much a villain-of-the-week on his best days and when you consider how old he is, how knowledgeable he is, that's a pretty severe testament to his lameness. He's just never really...mattered. He's no Dr. Doom. Heck, he's not even a Mole Man. The real shame is if you think about it, he'd make such a great nemesis for Reed Richards. Reed is the ultimate comicbook man of science. Diablo practices a form of "science" that even Reed can't grasp. A form that seems to border more on magic. Diablo symbolizes something that flies against the very core principles of Reed Richards. I could so easily see Reed becoming obsessive about debunking Diablo's pseudo-science and becoming increasingly frustrated by his inability to do so. With all that potential this is all that can be said of him? A shame. Also...dude. That costume. Seriously? And, yanno...maybe you could stand to...like...eat something. Just once. An hour or two on the weight lifting machine wouldn't kill ya either. If yer gonna wear something that ridiculous, at least fill it out a bit better.

  • Oh man. I REALLY wanted to put him on the cool list. I mean...he's a werewolf!! I don't know if I can emphasize enough just how much I love werewolves. It's rather unhealthy really, and borderline sexual. I might be gay for werewolves. There's a nostalgia factor too. The very first comicbooks I bought with my own money just happened to be the spiderman issue where the Lobo brothers made their first appearance. But alas, the Lobos brothers(there's two of them. I'll be adding his brother here momentarily) got owned by the Kingpin. If memory serves Kingpin actually layed one of them out with one strike from his silver-tipped pimpcane. Granted, Kingpin has a peculiar record. One day he's strong enough to trap Spiderman in a bearhug, the next day Spidey can toss him around like a ragdoll. But still...that was just sad.

  • Look at everything I just said above about his brother Carlos Lobo.

  • She might make the leap over to my cool character list in time. The thing is, she'd be a cool character ANYWHERE except in a comicbook universe. By any real life standard she's a hell of a chick. Tough, brave, hot, skilled...by comicbook standards, she might as well be Random Masked Goon #385. Her abilities aren't even up to the level of your basic comicbook street-level vigilante. On top of all that she's just a supporting cast character so until she does something to impress me, she shall occupy the hall of lame.

  • Lame power, combined with a lame costume, capped off by a lame death at the hands of a lame villain who apparently dedicated his entire life to killing lame hispanic superheroes. No, i'm not kidding. She was the victim of a racist supervillain hellbent on tracking down as many lame hispanic characters as he could and bumping them off. And that pretty much sums up this character's total contribution to comic-dom.

  • She teleports via shadows...and that seems to be it. No mention of her having any particularly noteworthy skills or offensive powers. She just teleports. Take away her weird mayan artifact thingie, and she can't even do that. What is she then? A typical teenage girl? Nope, i'm not impressed here. Also, she's pretty obscure. Strictly D-List material here. I figure they kill her off quite ingloriously to set the stage for another more prominent character's storyline within another year. Two, tops. I'll give her this much. Her Smallville TV Series incarnation was pretty hot. And in no way resembled her comicbook incarnation.

  • Ugh. I am so freakin' sick of every other hispanic character being a Luchador. I suppose i should be greatful he's not a janitor or a poolboy...but i'm not. I put up with Black Tarantula's Luchador-inspired costume because at least he was fairly badass in spite of it, but this mort doesn't even have any powers without his Luchador mask. And seriously...the guy uses "professional" wrestling moves in a real fight? Ugh...just...ugh.

  • Yanno, I honestly tried to like this character...but every time I look at that ridiculous picture of a T-Rex head on a human body I just want to roll my eyes and gag. As a character he's not too shabby, but his powers just make me sad inside. They look ridiculous and frankly, I can't see him posing a credible threat to anybody beyond stree-level vigilantes/villains...and probably not even to them. I mean, really. A dinosaur fight? That's a typical tuesday evening for most superheroes. And this runt can't even go full-dino.

  • Yanno, you actually feel sorry for this character at times. It's like the only reason he exists is so Marvel writers can prove what complete and total dicks they are by heaping yet another new form of abuse, humiliation, and cruelty upon him. I don't even have the heart to describe the crap this character has had to put up with. Just read his comicvine entry and try not to cry...or laugh. Mostly laugh.

  • I was really torn on this one. He's kind of funny, until you remember that his "power" is that he basically rapes people to death. But once you get right down to it he's an obese, sweaty, two-word vocabulary rapist. Nothing to be proud of there.

  • Impaled on his own skateboard for cheating on his girlfriend. I could really get a good rant going on this one, but why bother? That's about all you really need to know about this chump. He had me at 'skateboard'.

  • Decent powers, but she's a crack junkie. And...well...she's a crack junkie. Do I really need to explain this one?

  • Yup. You guessed it. It's ANOTHER horrendously disfigured hispanic mutant(Well not technically a mutant, but close enough), courtesy of the loving writing staff over at Marvel Studios. You rascally Marvel guys can't tell, but I'm flipping you all off right now.

  • Considering all these guys blow, I decided to just put their whole team up here together. What does 6000 years of human evolution get you? Well, 99 times out of a hundred in a comicbook or sci-fi setting it gets you a super-freaktastically evolved and powerful slice of humanity who's got oodles of psychic powers, super intelligence, and other nifty whacky powers too. What does 6000 years of hispanic evolution get you? Smug, elitist but otherwise mundane and powerless humans who absolutely insist they're so much totally better than "normal" humans...even though they can't do crap once the batteries fueling their superpower emulators wear off. I mean, hell man. You've had 6000 freakin' years. You couldn't at least figure out a way to stuff a Duracel Bunny down your pants? Sigh. 6000 damn years of technological advancement and most of these guys are one-trick ponies. Tony Stark's FIRST suit of Iron Man armor probably had more bells and whistles on it than all these guys combined. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration...but not much of one. Six THOUSAND of technological and evolutionary developement, and this is the best you could give us for it Marvel? Go screw.

  • Minor inconsequential random nobody. The end.

  • Yet another random inconsequential nobody.

  • Ummm...ok. Apparently this guy thinks band-aids make for an acceptable supervillain costume. Perhaps if they were Flintstones band-aids i'd agree with him. Or the Sesame Street brand. Imagine a tiny little picture of Oscar the Grouch plastered across the fist rushing toward your face. Now that's traumatic. Anyway, back to El Uno here. I think he only had two or three appearances and he got decapitated by a similarly obscure character. The end.

  • Bonus points for being a lesbian on account of...yanno...lesbians rock. But other than that there's nothing really interesting to be said about her. Still. Lesbian. Woohoo.

  • I somehow found another hispanic character nobody on planet earth ever heard of. She can keep La Lunitica and Aquamaria company.

  • Old people smell. Ewwwww.

  • Bloody crotch smell. Ewwwwww.

  • Tranny smell. Ewwwww.

  • Your typical cowardly bully, but he's extra cowardly because he bullies girls. Frakkin' loser.

  • Drunk people smell. Ewwwww.

  • Two more lameass Luchador chumps for the hall of suck.

  • He was killed by a random punk with a handgun. Frankly, we could stop right there and he would deserve his place on this list. But I have a few minutes to kill, so let's touch bases on all the other reasons he deserves to be here. Ok, first off costume-based powers are already a bit of a turnoff for me. If your powers are costume-based then it better be a costume that's easy to get into, or you better have serious skills even without the suit to make me respect you, or you better have a great personality to make me like you more. Bushmaster fails on all counts. Secondly, you need to give some serious thought to a major costume overhaul pal. Making it bulletproof would be a day late and a dollar short at this point, but perhaps that might have been a prudent choice back in the design phase, huh? I'll give him this much I do like the versatile array of abilities the costume gives, even if some are a tad more comedic than others. Just look at the picture of him running on water and try not to blow milk out of your nose. Go on, I dare ya.

  • Yup. ANOTHER grotesquely disfigured hispanic who shall never know a woman's touch.

  • This guy pre-dates Ben Tennison by over a decade, but somehow Tennison still manages to make his powers cooler than he ever did. And then there's the whole lame "Is he, or isn't he" deal with his sexuality. So he's supposed to be gay right? Fine. The comic world needs positive gay characters almost as desperately as it needs positive hispanic characters. But one of his hero incarnations is in a heterosexual relationship with a female team mate. And apparently his hero forms are manifestations of his secret desires...but whenever he becomes himself again he doesn't even like to be around her. WTF?

  • Part of a team that was lame enough to be inspired by Gaucho(See below).

  • Some third stringe rnobody who showed up in a Batman comic once. It looks like he was having a tough time choosing between the Zorro look, or the Biker look. So rather than just flip a coin which would have at least given him a 50/50 shot of ending up with a badass biker look, he tried to split 'em down the middle and thus earned his place on this list. Oh and the reason he became a superhero was to get over his terminal case of clinical depression. I'm not sure if that's an argument for, or against drugs...

  • Seriously, how lame do you have to be to look at Gaucho as inspiration for a life of superheroism?

  • .....why do I even bother?

  • He's got steroid powers just like Bane. Can you guess where this is going yet? I'll spare you then. On top of that he can't even speak english. Sigh. Just...sigh.

  • She lost me at "tried to rape her brother".

  • So in a Universe full of sharpshooting roguish smugglers, ruthless armored bounty hunters, and mage-knights with laser swords, the one and only hispanic character in the entire saga is...a politician. Fuck you too George.

  • Near as I can tell an irrelevant comic character based on the similarly irrelevent historical figure famous only cuz her evil demented daddy was a pope and supposedly raped her.

  • Fairly inconsequential sibling to a slightly less inconsequential on-again/off-again X-Gal.

  • Who? Whatever.

  • Sigh. The thing is I LOVE CHad. He SHOULD be an awesome character. But he's a second banana in an anime/manga, so no matter how powerful he gets Ichigo will always be able to bitch slap him back to Hueco Mundo. Effortlessly. That is bad enough in and of itself, but even by Anime/Manga Second Banana standards Chad sucks. He's the only huy who consistantly loses against all but the most second-rate enemies he goes up against. He can't even beat second-banana villains. He only ever beats the most sorry third rate jobbers around. He's the only member of the team who has lost everytime he's gone up against anybody at or beyond the "Captain" power level in Bleach. Every damn time.

  • I'm not a hundred percent sure she is hispanic, but judging from the surname...anyway, you're already on shaky ground when you give us "She-Thing". Having her be a completely ineffective She-Thing only makes it worse. She has been beaten and raped repeatedly(by no-name losers no less), and made NUMEROUS attempts to kill herself. Couldn't even do that right apparently. The MC2 version of her IS significantly more respectible, but the 616 version kinda blows.

  • If only he'd been based on Danny Trejo version he might have been salvagable. As it is he's lost against just about everyone he ever went up against. Badly. Easily. With minimal effort. And then he got beat by the Great Lakes Avengers. A shame that shall never be forgotten so long as he lives.

  • One of Spidey's many almost-but-not-quite love interests. Soon she'll be as forgotten as whatsername.

  • Porn slut and a failed assassin. Thanks DC.

  • Blah blah blah, random D(For Disposable)-List Villain of the Month. Scratch that. I don't want to insult D-List Villains. She's a D-List Henchman of the Month.

  • Can't beleive I forgot ol' Bunker. He was Gay! And boy did the writers go out of their way to bash us over the head with that fact. He wasn't just gay afterall. He was FAAAABULOUUUUSSS!!!! He was so clownishly over the top at times it became rather difficult to take him seriously. The comedic value of falmboyantly ultragay characters, much like the comedic value of falbmoyantly ultragay people in real life wears thin quickly. Speaking from personal experience in both regards, once that comedic value wears off you're just stuck with somebody who is permanenetly in "On Mode" which just isn't possible. Us human beings have to have some sort of down time at some point in our lives. So people that are permanently "On" are either phonies putting on a show whenever somebody else is around, or psychologically imbalanced. Neither of these traits are particularly attractive. At least not in a character intended to be marketed commercially. I will concede to one exception. Lafayette on True Blood kicks ass bitch. Though if you notice, even he has mellowed a bit in recent seasons. Perhaps the writers there realize when it's time to dial back the flamboyance and start dialing up the depth. Bunker's writers never quite caught on to that idea. Not particularly impressed by the power set either. If you're going to have low-to-mid level bland powers, you better have alot more than a trying-too-hard clownish personality backing it up.

  • About the only reason I put the Biker-Version of El Diablo on the Cool List was I liked his costume and he had a background that suggested education, and intellect. Other than that I couldn't really find anything about him. Well it's the same situation here, except this guy's background is the opposite and his costume blows. So it's no surprise which list he ends up on.

  • Mainly going on this list for utter obscurity. Judging from the picture Comicsvine has of her, the folks at DC havn't even given this character a single thought since 1970 or so. Which is probably the only reason she didn't get decapitated by Superboy Prime, or raped by Dr. Light, or stuffed in a refrigerator by Major Force, or...wow. Yanno what? DC Hates women. Anyway...I actually do kind of like her look, but on top of her utter obscurity i'm not seeing anything about her powers, skills, personality, or story that grabs me.

  • I must confess to being somewhat turned off by the fact that her biceps are bigger than her breasts. But by the standards of a comicbook police officer she's pretty badass. I guess. Granted she doesn't come close to the standards of most human-level comicbook superheroes...i've put people on my lame list for that. But Rigger caught me in an strangely generous mood.= EDIT UPDATE = Aaaaaaand my generous mood has passed. Those Biceps just freak me right the hell out every time I see 'em. Besides she's no Alisande Morales, and if Alisande hasn't earned a spot on the cool list yet, Rigger sure as hell doesn't deserve to be there.

  • Yet another of Zeitgeist's laughably lame victims...seriously, I wonder if I should be offended that Marvel actually dedicated a racist supervillain to the extermination of lame hispanic superheroes...or greatful?

  • Ah yes. Julian's little pet sycophant. His yes man. Yanno the way he obeyed Julian like a little lovestruck puppy made me think he was gay...which actually would have made the character at least somewhat more respectable because hey, we all like like lovestruck puppies when we're...you know. Lovestruck. But no. Apparently Tag was just a good ol' fashioned lackey. Even homosexuality couldn't have saved Tag from this list though. His powers were so laughably lame that being depowered on M-Day was almost an improvment. And isn't strange what a disproportionate number of hispanic mutants got depowered on M-Day? Maybe Scarlet Witch was somehow channeling the spirit of Zeitgeist when she was deciding who would get to keep their powers. Anyway, lame personality, lame powers, and lame death have earned Tag his spot here.

  • So i'm reading his comicvine entry. I'm thinking..."Okay. Not really impressed. But there's a few positive signs. He seems like a decent enough, moral guy. He's trying to do the right thing. A bit lackluster, but definitely an improvement over the average comicbook latino." Then I got to the part where some C-list nobody killed him in the casual dismissive way comic writers at both DC and Marvel do so LOVE to dispose of their lesser known minority characters. There was only one place to put him after that. So long Robbie. We barely knew ye.

  • I almost put Hardline on the cool list, if only because he can't possibly be as bad as Vibe, and considering they came out of the same womb that's quite an accomplishment in and of itself. Still he has Vibe's stereotypical background as a thug, and Vibe's not-bad-but-not-great powers. He's a more obscure version of an already-obscure character. As bad as Vibe was, he actually lasted for all of five minutes in THE Justice League. Hardline couldn't even manage that much.

  • Argh! Screw you too DC!! I was SOOO close to putting him on the cool list, despite being so deformed that he would never know a woman's touch. He had a respectable background, reasonably decent powers, a sympathetic situation...and then...he gets killed...by a no-name...faceless goon...that ANY other hero would have taken apart casually! #$&%^@*# YOU DC!!!

  • Fairly inconsequential character. His only real claim to fame is being Sunspot's father.

  • Pretty obscure and forgettable little villainess. Decent powers actually, but there's way too many "passing gas" jokes available here for me to take her seriously. Especially when you find out her true form is obese, which just makes giving her the power of "Gas" seem a bit inappropriate. Funny, but inappropriate.

  • Low powered villain to start with, with horrid fashion sense. I could forgive the fashion sense considering the era in which he was conceived, but then he died a lame death alongside a few dozen equally lame villains at the hands of a slightly less lame villain, only to be brought back, played for a chump, and sent to his second demise at the hands of the Punisher. Yup. Only in comicbooks.

  • In theory, "Instant Kill via Touch" powers should RULE. They should dominate almost any fight they're in except against opponants who can take them down from a safe distance. But because you can't have the hero of the story being insta-killed, people with such powers inevitably suck ass...much like Breakdown here. Being hideously disfigured does nothing to help his cause.

  • An emotionally and psychologically crippled woman with ho-hum powers, who met a rather inglorious demise. Whatever Marvel.

  • While his costume does initially evoke a stereotypical matador image, there's enough tweaks and twists to give it a distinctive and unique vibe. I like the look. I WANTED to put Vega on the cool list. Alas, it can not be so. Despite his speed, his damage is low, and his damage tolerance is lower still. He is definitely one of the weakest characters in the game, despite using a weapon. Incidently, the weapon makes him lamer. It's bad enough he's bringing two-foot long razor sharp blades to a fistfight...but he's bringing them to a fistfight and STILL loses more often than not. The effeminate mannerisms and angst over his "beauty" isn't doing much to knotch up the respect-o-meter either. There is some minor potential in his background story that could go a long way toward redeeming the character, but nobody ever does anything with it so he will likely continue to be a preening over-hyped buffoon who can't win a fight against a serious opponant even when he's cheating.

  • A glorified secretary. Yay.

  • !@#$& you Marvel. Just #$&^@ you.

  • What we have here is your typical cookie cutter antihero. Kung Fu, a willingness to use guns and a willingness to kill...which might be alright if she wasn't surrounded with a dozen likeminded vigilantes who are so "l33t" they don't need to do any of that and they STILL show her up whenever they appear on the same page of a comic. Oh, also it doesn't do much to improve her case that her ONE and only claim to fame is having raped Nightwing. Can you beleive she used to be an FBI agent? She acts like a child half the time. Thanks but no thanks DC, you can have this one back. Also...have you noticed that if a character has Tarantula as a name they're almost definitely hispanic? DC has this Tarantula. Marvel has the FOUR Tarantulas featured below, and two Black Tarantulas(featured on my Cool Hispanic Characters list). And this new slutty cowgirl, Madame Tarantula. All hispanic. Anyway, THIS tarantula sucks ass. So moving right along...

  • Don't know anything about her yet. But the look is pure 'Slutty Cowgirl' which is awesome at Halloween parties, but I expect more from a comicbook heroine.

  • Don't let the picture fool you kiddies. This character has a long and painful history worthy of being immortalized as a Mort of the Month. The first three versions of this character had precisely one pseudo-superpower. Are you ready for it? Brace yourself. Prepare to be distinctly underwhelmed. POINTY FEET!!! Gag me. Yes, the first three versions of the Tarantula, aside from having a sense of fashion second only to El Aquila, had the power of pointy feet working for them. They all died rather ingloriously, especially the third one. The one featured in the picture is the newest, the fourth one. She seems to have some potential but she has a long, long, looooooong way to go to redeem the name her three predecessors left her.

  • Lame-ass Tarantula Numero Dos

  • She tried to follow the footsteps of her lameass predecessors and got whacked in her first mission. Supposedlt the writer claims she did survive. Perhaps she's better off dead.

  • It's like they found every negative Gay stereotype they could possibly come up with and packed them all in. Right down to being HIV positive. Pat yourselves on the back for this one DC.

  • Nothing much to go on here. Looks lame enough to me though.

  • The male version featured in Comicsvine Pic is not hispanic. His female successor is. And she's lame. So is the original for that matter.

  • Pretty basic Mort of the Month-class low-grade villain who easily gets stomped by every hero he goes up against. First Robin, then Blue Beetle. Beetle wasn't even actively trying to stomp him either.