TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 6/3/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for the June 3, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. After ROH’s unimpressive debut, how would TNA do in comparison? We’ve got EC3‘s celebration for becoming #1 contender, so they already have a good shot of a great show. Let’s start the review and find out how they do.

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Show opens with an awesome video hyping up Ethan Carter III and building him up. Already better than the entirety of ROH.

Show actually opens with EC3‘s music beginning, until it stops. Lights then go on in the middle of the ring and a Barber Shop Quintet sining his theme as EC3 comes out. It also has the returning “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero on the announce table which is awesome. EC3 says that tonight is a night for America since tonight he is #1. The Quintet then begins singing “For he’s the #1 contender, which nobody can deny”. EC3 then asks for Tyrus to get over there and you can clearly see he’s happy and asks him if he wants to dance and asks people if they want to see Tyrus dance. EC3 then says that we won’t see him dance because this is serious business, and that he’s proven everyone wrong about how he only got this shot because of his last name and says stuff like that, until inviting Kurt Angle out to the ring so they can celebrate his final days as World Champion.

Angle comes out and says that this is a very impressive celebration, but some wrestlers from the 40s (didn’t remember their names) would be rolling around in their grave. Angle then says that EC3 isn’t next in line for a title shot, and EC3 shows the signs that say #1. Angle says that EC3 needs to not be concerned with a number but instead a letter, as Destination X is next week. Would have been nice to mention this before TNA. He says that the X-Division Champion, Rockstar Spud, has the option to cash in the title for a shot at the world title at DX. EC3 says that he left Spud beaten, bloodied, and bald. EC3 appears a bit frustrated but says that he knows what makes Spud tick and will give him an offer he can’t refuse. He then walks off, and asks the Barber Shop guys to say goodbye to Kurt, and they all start saying “Trouble” as they walk off, but Kurt hits the Angle Slam on the last guy.

That was an amazing opening scene. THAT is how you open a show, not two guys who look like Mountain Monster rejects saying nonsensical things. No one interrupted it, and it was just a great segment. Probably my favorite opening to Impact this year, as I can’t recall anything that comes close.

Match #1 - Lashley vs. Eric Young

Decent match. Nothing great or anything, but decent. Both guys looked pretty good, and it is my favorite Young/Lashley match so far. Lashley gets the win, which I can understand.

Winner via pinfall: Lashley

After the match, Chris Melendez runs down and tries to attack Young, but Young gets out of the ring while Lashley tries to hold off Melendez. I hope we’re not going for Young vs Melendez at Slammiversary, but I think we might be going that direction.

Backstage Rockstar Spud is arriving, and questions cashing in the X-Division title, saying generic stuff about him spending many years getting to the top & the title and he’s not sure if he’s gonna give it up tonight.

Another Dollhouse segment, Taryn is bragging about taking Gail out last week or something. They were playing the Dollhouse’s theme in the background to this, which I actually really liked.

Backstage Chris Melendez is there and says generic stuff about him being angry that Young looked surprised at him being out there, saying that after everything he’s been through and what Young did to him Young thought he wouldn’t come after him? This whole scene was meh. Listen Melendez, I can’t imagine what you went through in loosing your leg and I respect you for doing that while serving the country & such, but you really don’t belong on wrestling TV yet. You’re mic skills aren’t good, and your in-ring skill aren’t either.

Backstage (AGAIN) where Spud is sitting there and Austin Aries walks up, and starts talking to him, saying that he’s been there and it isn’t easy. He says he created Option C in 2012 because he didn’t want to just throw the title away, but is now looking and seeing that Option C might have been a mistake. Everyone has cashed in the title to fight for the World title, and says that Spud could do something different. Yep, because Austin Aries, Chris Sabin, & Austin Aries again cashed in the title, Option C might have been a mistake. Great logic Aries.

Match #2 - Jade w/Marti Belle vs. Brooke

Why does Jade wear that very short skirt to the ring? *Sees shot of her panties when she goes for a pin* Ah, that’s why.

This match actually wasn’t too bad. Not great, but it was alright. Better than the matches on ROH at least. Marti kept interfering a bit until Brooke eventually went after her, Jade accidentally kicked Marti, and Brooke was able to take out & pin Jade. Like I said, alright match surprisingly.

Winner via pinfall: Brooke

Backstage, Jeremy Borash is there asking EC3 what he thinks about Spud & Option C. EC3 says that Borash was there and knows that Spud deserves to be a champion, but that ends at the X-Division. He says that Spud is a good helping hand but EC3... I got interrupted and missed most of what he said, but he was basically hyping himself up. Tyrus then walks up and gives him a cell phone, and EC3 walks away and puts the phone to his ear.

Backstage Brooke walks up to Rebel and they begin celebrating Brooke’s win for a second. Apparently these two are good friends now? Brooke says that she’s gonna go take a shower then she & Rebel can talk more. As Brooke walks away, Jade & Marti walk up to her and begin beating down on her, eventually taking her out and putting one of those ball things in her mouth, then say “It’s playtime”. What do you mean by playtime? I could get it if you said it before beating her up, but doing it after than walking away doesn’t make much sense.

Match #3 - Beat Down Clan (MVP, Kenny King, & Low Ki) vs. The Rising (Drew Galloway, Eli Drake, & Mica)

First off, the BDC comes out in their masks again, and care carrying their flags. Now for some random thoughts during entrances:

How many times are we gonna see matches with these two stables fighting? Everyone’s sick of it by now.

I never realized it till now, but the Rising’s theme sounds like a really, really crappy version of the Batman Beyond theme.

Match... meh. Better than I expected, but still not good. I just don’t think any of the Rising are that good, and the fact we’ve seen this match or variations of it so much didn’t help this. Rising gets the win after Galloway pins Low Ki. This will mean absolutely nothing in the future of this feud.

Winners via pinfall: The Rising

Rockstar Spud comes out, and Borash asks him if he’s ready to make his decision. Spud says it’s tough and he needs more time, but is told this is the time. Kurt Angle comes out and says that he likes Spud, and wants him to know what he’s getting into if he cashes in. He then starts saying he’s Kurt Angle and starts listing his accomplishments. As Spud goes to say something, EC3‘s music hits and he comes out. EC3 kinda drags on a bit, but basically says he got off the phone with Aunt D and can offer Spud back his spot as Chief of Staff as long as he doesn’t cash in the title. Spud says that being Chief of Staff

Backstage Aries is talking to Bobby Roode and says that they’re 0-2 in the series so far and they’re close to getting sweeped which would be embarrassing. Aries says that this is because they haven’t been playing by their own rules or game or something like that, and throws Roode some sort of crumbled up cloth that’s clearly a shirt. Not sure why shirts will do.

James Storm & Mickie James are shown talking before Mickie’s meeting with the music guys Storm set up. To sum it up, Storm says that Storm wants to take care of Mickie and buy her gifts or something, which Magnus can’t do, and offers Mickie & Donovan a spot in the Revolution. Mickie doesn’t agree and Storm tries making it up and saying he was out of line & everything, and some nonsense. This was just an odd scene that’s hard to explain and not even Storm could save.

Match #4 - The Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries) vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

Aries & Roode come out in the most generic shirts I’ve ever seen. They’re completely gray and just have the Dirty Heels logo on them.

Really good match to me. I preferred their last match, but still good. Easily my favorite of the night. The finish to this match is also very interesting. After several near falls, Aries gets frustrated and goes outside the ring to grab a chair. He throws it in and Roode refuses to use it at first. Davey(?) then almost pins him with a roll-up, but Roode kicks out. Aries then gets up on the apron with one of the tag title belts and yells that if he wants them then he has to use it (the chair). While the ref is distracted with Aries, Roode low blows Davey(?) and hits him with a chair, allowing them to get the win.

So, it looks like Aries & Roode pretty much turned heel here, or tweeners at least (but for now I’d consider them heels). I actually really like this finish. Aside from me liking Roode MUCH more as a heel, I think this makes Aries & Roode and the series in general more interesting. Before the series had great in-ring stuff but not much interesting or a story to it. Now though I think they can actually get some interesting stuff here with some heat between the two teams and Roode & Aries wanting to cheat. Overall I’m repeating myself, but I just think this move makes everything more interesting and I like it.

Winners via cheating: The Dirty Heels (yes, I will call them this again)

We see what looks like security camera footage showing Storm & Mickie again, this time walking along a train station. Storm makes comments about hearing the train coming when there’s nothing and Mickie’s phone ringing when there’s nothing, and when she shows the phone to Storm, he grabs it and shoves her onto the tracks? The angle wasn’t good enough to tell, but that’s what it looks like and what was implied. We then hear a train whistle, signaling the train is coming, and Storm makes a comment about that being a long way down. He then takes the phone, calls someone, and says “Nick (Magnus’s real name), it’s Uncle James. Just wanted to let you know Mickie isn’t gonna be home for dinner.” Then he walks away doing his whistle. Did James Storm just murder Mickie James on television, or at least attempt to? Why is he not arrested yet!?! Now I liked this scene because Storm plays this character brilliantly, but he just straight up tried to murder someone! Am I the only one who reacted to this appropriately? The announcers barely showed any reaction to it.

Madison Rayne is in the ring. She says that it seems that lately unless you shake your @ss on the ring, shove a sucker down someone’s throat, or is Gail Kim, you get nothing on this show while contracted talent like herself sit backstage doing nothing, then talks about how Velvet Sky was fired but steals screen time lately. Is Madison a face now? Cause all this stuff is true and stuff a face should really be saying. Madison then says some more stuff about the topic and Velvet comes out from the crowd. Madison tells her that having chains doesn’t maker her a bad@ss or purple in your hair, then Velvet hits her with an awful spear, a very phony-looking kick, and a poorly executed stunner. When you’ve been wrestling as long as Velvet and can’t hit those moves correctly, you’re in the wrong line of work. Angelina Love then comes down with her security and yells that Velvet was fired and shouldn’t be here. She sends her own security in the ring and Velvet tries attacking them at first, but is eventually taken down and held in place. Angelina then gets in the ring and says more bullsh*t and slaps her twice until security carries her away. Then as Velvet’s dragged off and Angelina’s bragging, TNA Security comes out and says she’s being arrested for assaulting a fan. So, we can have fans in attendance jump the rail and attack wrestlers and security doesn’t do sh*t, but a wrestler slaps her twice and it’s a big deal? Why? And why did TNA security act so quickly on this? If this is how quick they react, they should really be cops and be going after James Storm for attempting to murder someone. I still can’t get over that.

Match #5 - Ethan Carter III & Tyrus vs. Rockstar Spud & Kurt Angle

I still miss when Kurt’s entrance involved him rising up from below. Just looked cool.

This was an okay match. Not terrible, but nothing that great. I loved one moment where Tyrus was basically doing push-ups on Spud, and it reminded me of Scott Steiner.

Finish comes when Angle hits a back suplex (that they called the Olympic Slam) on Tyrus and Spuds covers him. Not a very surprising win, but nothing to complain about.

Winners via pinfall: Kurt Angle & Rockstar Spud

After the match, Austin Aries’s music hits and he comes out. Aries says that he admires Spud’s heart, questions his decision making, but used Option C, which Aries started years ago. He says that just liked Destination X that year, he will be the main event as he’s cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase. I originally thought this meant it was gonna be a three-way, but it turns out that he’s really facing the winner of Angle/Spud. I really hated this honestly. Why would he announce this ahead of time? Why are they even throwing him in here anyway? Is it a requirement that Aries must somehow be involved in Option C/Destination X’s main event every year? It’s just a decision I don’t like or agree with at all.

Overall Impressions:

Pretty good episode of Impact tonight to me. Most of the matches were alright, that opening was amazing, and there was some interesting stuff through. And while we did have stuff like that awful Velvet segment, we did had stuff like James Storm trying to murder someone, cause that’s always fun to see. To be fair I might only be acting as kind to this show because it had that ROH show as a lead-in, but I thought this was just an entertaining and solidly-booked show, so what is there to complain about overall? Pope on the announce table only brought up my opinion of the show. I’d love to see him & Mike Tenay become the full-time announce team.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.