TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 6/10/15

Hey there everyone. This is TheCannon, and welcome to my review of the June 10, 2015 edition of TNA’s Impact Wrestling. Tonight is Destination X, because apparently Bell to Bell, Night of Knockouts, Tag Team Gold, Hardcore Justice, “Live” (not really), International Impact, & May Mayhem all happening over the past two months meant we didn’t have enough themed Impacts. How would tonight’s show go? Let’s start the review and find out.

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Show opens with a video package highlighting the X-Division and the matches for tonight, featuring Manik, Low Ki, Crazy Steve, Mark Andrews, Tigre Uno, DJ Z, Kenny King, Grado (for some reason), and Cruz? Who? When the show starts Matthews says that the first Destination X was just over 8 years ago. Technically that’s right, but the first Destination X was in March of 2005. So why not say it was just over 10 years ago? Even if Matthews doesn’t know correct information and no one wants to hell him, why doesn’t he just do a quick google search to get his comments accurate instead of making sh*t up like this? At least we got “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero again. He might not be a living encyclopedia like Mike Tenay, but at least he doesn’t make up stuff like Josh.

Christy Hemme is in the ring and says it’s time for the TNA World title match, but Ethan Carter III’s music hits and he & Tyrus come out. EC3 says that he’s the #1 contender and that there’s 2 title matches tonight, and he’s not in them. He says he’s worked tirelessly to become #1 contender and he’s having a sit down protest. He asks for a chair and says Destination X is canceled. Kurt Angle comes out after a minute and starts off calm when saying, “Ethan”, before getting angry and loud by saying something like, “GET THE HELL OUT OF THE DAMN RING!” (I don’t remember the exact working, sorry). I found it funny how Angle’s tone just completely changed. They argue for a moment and EC3 threatens to end Kurt’s career, and Angle asks him to. Just give him a good hard slap Ethan; that’s all it’ll take in his current state. Kurt then threatens to break EC3‘s ankle or something lame like that, and EC3 just walks away as Spud makes his entrance for his title match.

Match #1 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Rockstar Spud

It was while watching this match that I realized how sad it is that the first year it happened is still the year Option C gave us the best match, storyline, and was simply done the best.

Anyway, the match was okay. Considering who was involved I guess it was fine. It’s just about what I expected: a few nice moves from Spud, a lot of rest-holds for Kurt, and not much to say about the whole thing. Kurt wins after Spud taps out to the Ankle Lock. Not surprised by this at all. Did anyone really see Spud getting the title? I think they just used Spud for Option C since he’s the most over X-Division guy they have right now. Hopefully by next year they’ve built up Manik or someone like that.

Winner via submission and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

The Dollhouse’s music hits and they’re on the entrance ramp, and... oh god, Taryn Terrell has a microphone. What she said basically boiled down to her saying that if Awesome Kong wants a shot at the Knockouts title, then Kong has to face her in a lingerie pillow fight match and wear a lingerie thing that she has Marti Belle hold up. I don’t know what to day about this since I think it speaks for itself.

Match #2 - Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Crazy Steve

I know I say this all the time, but the Revolution (including Manik) has probably the best entrance music in wrestling today. And Manik’s outfit is just fantastic.

So, serious question: Has Crazy Steve ever won a match in TNA? I never recall him winning one, and it seems weird that he keeps getting close to the X-Division title when he hasn’t won anything.

Anyway, the match was... eh. But it was rather short and featured Crazy Steve, so I’m not sure what I expected. Finish comes when Ki hits the Warrior’s Way on Manik. Not what I wanted, but I’m not surprised by the winner. I am surprised and confused by the fact Manik took the pin though. Seriously, why did Ki pin him instead of Steve?

Winner via pinfall: Low Ki

Grado is shown working out backstage, talks about how he has to prove he’s X-Division and how his mom says he’s X-Division, and shown trying to jump over some sort of crate and barely does it....

Did they need Grado? Would it really have been too difficult to bring back Sonjay Dutt for this one match instead of Grado? Or Matt Bentley? Or Amazing Red? Or Rubix? Or Shark Boy? Or f*cking anybody instead of Grado!?!?

Replay of James Storm trying to murder Mickie James last week is shown. I still can’t get over that a week later.

Match #3 - Mark Andrews vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno

None of these guys even get an entrance, they’re all in the ring and Tigre’s entrance is just over when the show cuts to this.

A random thought I had during this is that Zema really needs to pull his pants up.

This was an okay match. Had some decent spots, but again was a bit too short. But it was still alright. Finish comes when Zema is knocked out of the ring (damn; he was the guy I wanted to win this little tournament if Manik didn’t) and Tigre Uno pins Mark.... What? Tigre Uno won a match?

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He actually did. Holy sh*t. I never thought I'd see the day.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: TIGRE UNO!!! (SERIOUSLY!)

Also, great job TNA. I was going to praise you at the end about having a show without streamers like ROH had an obsession with doing, then you throw them for Tigre’s victory. But considering how big & rare winning a match is for him, I can understand it.

After the match, Jesse Godderz comes out and starts attacking DJ Z and basically beats the sh*t out of him. I would have more of a reaction to this, but I’m still in shock that Tigre actually won a match. I will ask why Robbie E doesn’t come out and stop this though.

Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse come out again. Why do they have that dollhouse & mirror thing on the ramp for their entrance? Why does Taryn have a bow in her hair? Why is there a bed in the ring and a weird light above it? Why does anyone allow Taryn to have a microphone while they’re taping? Why did Taryn turn heel to begin with? Why does nothing about the Dollhouse make sense?

Taryn gets in the ring ready for her pillow fight against Kong. She calls out Kong, who finally comes out after a minute not wearing the lingerie, and then she beats on Jade & Marti predictable. Taryn says that since Kong never showed up to fight then the title match doesn’t happen, and asks Hemme to declare her winner of the match, even though the match didn’t happen. Can Taryn make up her mind; either the match never happened or you won Taryn. You can’t have both.

Anyway, Kong just kinda disappears and Brooke comes out and she too has a microphone. She says stuff about a pillow fight dis-respecting the Knockouts division & title or some sh*t like that. This goes on for a good minute or two with the two talking while being unbearable (can we please pass a law that says Taryn Terrell can never be given a live microphone please?) and it eventually ends with Brooke tackling her onto the bed and starting to beat on her, eventually tearing off her purple robe (which I have to say looked great) and exposing Taryn’s lingerie, which Taryn appears embarrassed by and tries to cover up, even though it shows off about the same out of her that her normal ring gear does.

I’m just gonna pretend this never happened and move on...

Backstage scene where Grado is getting ready to get on a scale to see if he meets the weight limit for the X-Division. He keeps being nervous and keeps stripping more off himself before finally stepping on the scale, and he finally listens to Jeremy Borash telling him that there is no X-Division weight limit (not currently anyway; but he never brought up that there was one in the past) and is told his match is now, so Grado begins running to the ring.

Another thing I’m just gonna pretend never happened and moved on.

Match #4 - Kenny King vs. Crux vs. Grado

According to Matthews, we’ve seen Crux before on Impact Wrestling. Can someone please tell me when?

The match... meh. Crux did a few decent high-flying movies and Kenny was fine as always, but Grado isn’t that good and the match just didn’t have anything to stand out or memorable about it. Finish comes when Kenny is knocked outside, Grado hits his finisher in Crux, and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Grado

I am getting a lot of use out of that video tonight.

Can we please just erase the last 20 minutes or so from history? Please?

Backstage where Bram has taken out a cameraman and says something about hating Destination X and what a stupid name it is. Then just stands there and says more stuff before walking off. I like Bram, so this was a cool scene.

After commercial, Bram is in the ring and says there’s a lot of talk about the X-Division and how it’s the history of TNA, and how Slammiversary is supposed to celebrate the history of TNA. He then says he hates history, and he hates the past too. He then challenges any former TNA star and says that the past, present, & future will be re-written. You really can’t re-write the future, or the present for that matter since it’s currently being written, and I’m not sure how beating someone from the past would be re-writing the past. Anyway, Crimson’s music hits and he comes out to accept Bram’s challenge. I’m actually happy to see this, partly just because of how much I like Crimson’s theme. More on him in a moment.

Match #5 - Bram vs. Crimson

This was an alright match. More of a brawl than anything, but I still thought it was decent. My biggest issue was that Bram looked a little too dominant in it. Usually I wouldn’t mind that, but if Crimson is back full time, they probably should have made him look better than he did hear. Bram gets the win. Decent match and I’ve got no issues with Bram winning, but I wish Crimson had looked a bit better.

Winner via pinfall: Bram

Now, assuming Crimson’s return is full time, I’m actually happy about that. I always thought Crimson was decent in-ring and on the mic as a face, really good on the mic as a heel, and had a great look. The issue with him that he was being over-pushed way too hard when he first came in, and when they finally found a good role for him he looked comfortable in, they turned him into a jobber & took him off TV. I heard he improved greatly after being in OVW, but I never got to see anything after that, and he was released in sumer 2013 shortly after his return. If this is a full-time return, I’m happy and hope they do better with him this time around. If it was just a one-time appearance, then I guess it did its job of making Bram look good.

Backstage Kurt Angle says that tonight he already beat Rockstar Spud who proved he had a lot of heart, and now he has Austin Aries, and he guarantees it will be match of the year. Sure Kurt, you keep believing that. He then says that he will beat Aries tonight and that no one will ever beat him and take the title. He’s right you know; he’ll get injured and have to retire before anyone can beat him.

Backstage someone asks EC3 about something, and he says that Kurt wanted him to throw the first punch, but promises that when he does throw the first punch, he’ll end Kurt’s career.

Match #6 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Austin Aries

I could be wrong, but I believe this is the third ever meeting between the two, with both men having one win over the other. This is also the fourth year in a row Aries is somehow involved in Destination X’s main event and/or Option C, with him cashing in his Feast or Fired case for a title shot.

I’ve given this some thought during the past week, and I think I know why they did this. I’m not sure how true it is, but I’ve heard Aries’s contract expires shortly after Slammiversary. If this is the case, he might decide not to resign, or TNA might decide to let him go, meaning there’s a chance he could be gone. If this does happen, they need the case away from him, so this was just a quick way to get him to cash it in. I hope I’m wrong in this and he resigns, but this is just my guess of why they’re having him cash in in a stupid way like this.

This match actually wasn’t too bad. Much better than I expected anyway. Some nice stuff happened, Aries looked amazing as always, and Angle looked... alright, considering the circumstances. Though there was one stupid moment where Angle goes for the Ankle Lock while Aries is right near the ropes, Aries could clearly grab the ropes before Angle has it locked on correctly, but doesn’t for some reason. I guess they hoped no one would notice. Finish comes when Angle gets Aries to tap out to the Ankle Lock. Not a fan of Aries tapping, but fine match otherwise.

Winner via submission and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

After the match, EC3 runs out and attacks Kurt, taking him to the ground. He then picks up the World title belt and holds it up, and he looks fantastic with it. Just look at this:

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Just fantastic. He’ll be a great champ in the future (assuming TNA doesn’t f*ck it up like they usually do).

Overall Impressions:

This was an alright episode of Impact. Nothing great or memorable really, but nothing offensively bad outside those 20 minutes that never happened (what 20 minutes?). It looks like we’re finally moving into Angle/EC3 for the title, which I’m looking forward to. I’m also curious to see who the next X-Division champion is, though it’s really sad that I have to put all my hope in Tigre Uno. I’m really curious why Destination X happened this month though instead of July like it has the past few years. Seems like a pointless move. My best guess is that they needed something to delay EC3‘s title shot a few weeks, but I could be wrong there. Anyway, in short: Alright episode of Impact. Nothing great, but nothing too bad either.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of tonight’s show and/or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.

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