TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/1/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the May 1, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. Hard to believe it’s already May, as the debut show on Destination America doesn’t seem that long ago. Anyway, tonight’s show was a special themed Impact “Hardcore Justice”. This really got me excited as TNA never does a themed Impact. So this was a really rare and surprising this to do. Anyway, let’s just start the review.

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Now, they finally got a replacement for Taz on the announce crew, and it’s Al Snow. I wasn’t looking forward to this, and I was right to not be. He was not good. I’ve heard worse, but that’s not saying much. Anyway, now let’s really start the review.

Match #1 - Street Fight: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) & Davey Richards vs. The Revolution (Abyss, Koya, & Manik)

Match already starts with all 6 guys fighting on the entrance ramp as soon as the show starts. The match was okay I guess. Hardcore wrestling doesn’t interest me too much anymore, so that kinda hurt my opinion on the match. And the match could get a bit hard to follow with so many guys fighting all over the place. But it wasn’t bad at all, so I can’t complain too much. It also featured that

Finish comes when Jeff hits the Swanton on Abyss, getting the win.

Winners via pinfall: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) & Davey Richards

After the match James Storm come sout and gets in Abyss’s face to yell at him, and actually slaps him this time.

Backstage with Matthews & Snow.

Backstage scene where Mr. Anderson is asked why he interrupted Ethan Carter III’s campaign announcement last week. Simple, it’s because he’s a bigger buzz kill than Buzz Killington.

He then talks about how boring the whole thing was last week and how he has his own sign and announcement he’s gonna make tonight. Maybe he’ll explain why he’s dressed so horribly? I think he’s trying to look like he’s running for office, but he just looks like some guy in mid-management in some sort of office job.

Announcement of Billy Corgan signing. They hype up how famous he is and all the recording stuff he’s done. But what does any of that have to do with running a wrestling company? Seriously, I don’t have any thoughts on this either way. I’m interested in what he’ll do as part of the creative team and it should be nice to have a fresh mind there, but he could easily fail. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Mr. Anderson comes out (in a different tie) and starts complaining about EC3‘s campaign announcement last week. He says that he doesn’t care about campaigns, and he cares about EC3 getting his @ss whopped. Just as he’s about to pull a sheet off a sign he has out, EC3‘s music interrupts and he comes out with Tyrus, who’s holding a great “EC3 2015 for Champ“ sign. Crowd didn’t react much to Anderson coming out, but EC3 got a great reaction which I liked seeing.

EC3 says that it sucks when someone comes out and interrupts a speech. EC3 says that he originated the idea of brining politics into wrestling and that the idea can never been copied or duplicated. Anderson asks EC3 if he wants to be the World Champ, and EC3 says yes, and Anderson says to go win it then. Anderson asks EC3 if he feels he should be champion because he’s undefeated, and EC3 says yes and that his undefeated streak is his most prized possession and he will never lose it. Anderson then takes the sheet off his sign, revealing it to say “Mr. Anderson Break the Streak” with a pic of EC3 with the crossed out logo over him. EC3 says to Anderson, “You will be nothing but a footnote on my rise to champion... champion.” That was awesome. Anderson says that on the live Impact next week, the match between them should happen, and that they’re gonna let the fans vote for the match type. EC3 says that they both know democracy doesn’t work, but if this is what it’ll take to shut him up, then fine, and warns him to “tread lightly”. Okay scene, but Anderson is annoying nowadays and needs to go away.

Also, a “USA” chant broke out when all people involved are American. Gotta love the Orlando crowd.

Match #2 - Ladder match for TNA X-Division Championship: Rockstar Spud (c) vs. Mark Andrews vs. Tigre Uno vs. Kenny King

What’s Tigre or Anderews won to get a title match? Kenny did pin Spud in a tag match a few weeks ago, but Andrews has been non-existent for a while, and when’s the last time Tigre won a match?

Decent match. Was a bit of a spotfest, but I thought it was a fun & enjoyable match. All guys did some impressive spots, my favorites being from Kenny & Tigre. Finish comes when Spud almost has the belt, but Homicide runs out and takes him out. Kenny then climbs up the ladder and gets the belt, winning the title. I’m happy with this move honestly. I like Spud, but his underdog character really doesn’t let him hold a title for a long time since he won’t be an underdog if he holds it too long. And as I’ve said in the past, I really like Kenny King and have wanted him to get more of a push, so an X-Division title run is nice to see. Hope he’ll use Option C, though I doubt it. Still great to see though.

Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Kenny King

It’s announced what the poll options are for next week’s EC3/Anderson match. Anderson wants a Falls Count Anywhere match, while EC3 wants an Arm Wrestling match, and you can vote at impactwrestling.com I went to vote (for Arm Wrestling obviously), and they didn’t show the poll results, which makes me think this is rigged. Still hoping for Arm Wrestling, but I doubt it unfortunately.

Video package for what’s been going on with Eric Young & Kurt Angle is shown. Shows how uninterested the feud is really.

Eric Young comes out with a stretcher. There’s not much to talk about this scene at all really. He’s just there to talk about what he’s gonna do to Kurt tonight in their stretcher match and just hype that up. Really feels like this was only done to fill some time. Also, I hate when crowds chant "What?" repeatedly during a promo. I have no clue when/where that originated, but it needs to stop.

Backstage the BDC is celebrating Kenny King’s X-Division title win. MVP says that the rumors of their demise have been greatly exaggerated, and something about Drew Galloway. He hands a pipe to Low Ki and says that this started with this (the pipe) in the UK and tonight Ki will finish this with it.

Spud is being talked to backstage and he’s very upset about losing the X-Division title. He talks about how guys like AJ Styles, Jerry Lynn, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Austin Aries, & Frankie Kazarian have held that belt and that if you were on that list (of guys who held it), you were one of the greatest of all time. Really? You do know that Robbie E, Brian Kendrick, Abyss, Amazing Red, & Homicide have held that belt, right? I don’t even have anything against those guys (I’m actually a fan of Robbie, and used to be a fan of Red when he was active), but they’re not one of the greatest of all time. Also, Spud is still on the list of guys who held it, so his problems makes no sense. I can understand him being upset about losing the title, but he should have worded this better.

Video package with Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse, and they still make no sense. Taryn also just sounds terrible as a heel. Are we gonna get an explanation behind this group and Taryn joining it, or are we just supposed to accept it happened? I was hoping for something tonight, but this video would have been the place to do it and they didn’t.

Match #3 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Brooke

I was gonna complain about Brooke’s entrance since all she does is walk to the ring and shake her @ss to the camera, but that’s MUCH more appealing than the Dollhouse’s entrance. First off, do we need that “Dollhouse Production” video showing us all the members and saying “It’s Playtime” before they come out? And why do they do that twirling thing? What is the Dollhouse supposed to be anyway? Creepy I guess, but what actually are they? We’ve gotten no explanation for this stable yet. Even the Menagerie got an explanation, but not this group that they’re trying to push as relevant?

The match was terrible. Before I predicted this as the worst match of the year, and it’s easily a contender (for TNA at least). Some sort of shenanigans happen and Taryn gets the win, and for some reason the way she pinned Brooke seemed very sexual. Taryn, I don’t care what you do in your personal life, but can you keep this type of stuff off-screen and just do a normal pin?

Winner via shenanigans and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrell

After the match, the Dollhouse attack Brooke and Taryn gets the mic. Oh god, this is always the kiss of death. Taryn talks about how Kong couldn’t beat her, how Brooke couldn’t beat her (because that’s an accomplishment apparently), and how no one can beat her. As anyone could predict, Gail Kim comes out and says some generic stuff. Mic work has never been Gail’s strong suit, and that was showed perfectly here. Once again as anyone would predict, she ends up bringing out Awesome Kong, and those two are gonna team up to fight the Dollhouse. This seems really rushed. You could have had Gail fight Taryn and lose, leading to her realizing she needs help and calls in Kong. That’s about 3-4 more weeks they could have dragged this out, but the way they did here seems rushed.

Video package for the Rising. Still has that awful yellow tint to it that makes it look like they have jaundice. I’m here to stand up for good lighting!

Match #4 - Pipe on a Pole match - Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway

Been a while since I’ve seen a pole match. Rules to this are that there’s a pole set up with a pipe hanging from the top of it. Whoever grabs it is allowed to use it, but they didn’t explain whether you won by hitting your opponent with the pipe, if you win by pinning/making the other submit, or what the rules are. We later saw a pinfall attempt before someone grabbed the pipe, which makes you question why it was even necessary.

The match was okay. Probably the best Galloway match I’ve seen so far, but that’s not saying much. There’s a spot where Ki & Galloway are fighting over the pipe on the rope, and it gets knocked off and falls on the floor. Always laugh when little stuff like that happens. Galloway later on gets the pipe, and tries to use it but isn’t able to as Ki stops it. After a few more minutes of fighting, Galloway hits his weird DDT finisher on Ki on a chair and gets the win. So, a pipe on a pole match doesn’t actually involve a pipe being used at all? What kind of sense does that make?

Winner via pinfall: Drew Galloway

After the match the BDC comes out and attacks Galloway, but the Rising comes out and chases them off. Yeah, certainly didn’t see that one coming.

Video package of everything with James Storm & Mickie James is shown, and for some reason they show shots of Mickie walking in a field. Why? She looks lost and like she doesn’t know where she’s going. They also show a random shot of Storm walking in a cemetery, but at least he looks like a complete bad@ss when he does it.

They show a scene from earlier in the week where Mickie & James ran across each other in a parking lot (for a grocery store I think). The camera work reminds me of an old Paparazzi Productions video. Wish I was watching one of those right now instead of this. They talk for a moment and Storm asks to hold her baby, which he does. “There’s always room for one more in the Revolution.” He didn’t actually say it unfortunately, but I wish he had.

Magnus comes out to talk, but just as he starts James Storm’s music interrupts. They have a segment that just isn’t very good. I like both guys and know they can be great on the mic, but this storyline just isn’t very good. Magnus is complaining about Storm following Mickie around and using the crowd to manipulate her last week, while Storm talks about how paranoid Magnus is (or something) and how he’s having people follow Mickie around and film her, and something about Magnus should be discussing this with Mickie. Yeah, not a great scene. Both guys are capable of much more.

Angle is backstage and says some stuff where he tries to sound threatening to EY about the stretcher match tonight. He talked about how tonight Young is gonna see a fired up & angry Kurt Angle, but Angle just doens’t show the anger or intensity he used to and this just didn’t work. I was more focused on Kurt’s odd t-shirt this whole thing than what he was saying.

Match #5 - Stretcher match: Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle

This is a non-title match, but any reason why? Young’s ranked #1 in the Impact Top 5, so he’s the #1 contender and should get a title shot. Don’t get why he isn’t especially since he didn’t get it last week.

The match was okay I guess. Not much stands out really. I give them credit for being unpredictable as I expected an Austin Aries run in and it didn’t happen. Finish comes when Young beats Angle enough that Angle can’t fight back at all, so Young straps him to the stretcher and wins. He then grabs the title belt and puts it on Kurt for some reason. I’m still just confused why this wasn’t a title match, but I don’t feel like going into it more.

Winner: Eric Young

Overall Impressions:

This show was okay I guess. Wasn’t bad, but wasn’t that great either. Not much good in-ring aside from the ladder match, and really no promos stick out either. Still, it did keep me interested at least, which is more than some of the earlier Orlando shows did this year. I am looking forward to next week’s “live” show, so it’s good TNA got me looking forward to that. But as far as this show goes, it was just alright.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight’s show and/or the review in the comments.

And I’m not sure if you’ve seen these yet or not, but TNA has had these uploaded to their youtube channel and I loved them, so I’m gonna share them here:

#ec3forCHAMP

3 Comments

3 Comments

Avatar image for pizzaman
Posted By Pizzaman

Nice review as always Cannon!!

Avatar image for thecannon
Posted By TheCannon

@pizzaman said:

Nice review as always Cannon!!

Thanks.

#ec3forCHAMP

Avatar image for madeinbangladesh
Posted By MadeinBangladesh

good review

~MiB