TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/17/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the April 17, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. After a few weeks of really average and boring shows, how would TNA do tonight when crowning new tag team champions? Let’s start the review and find out.

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Josh Matthews is doing commentary by himself tonight, as Taz is “on special assignment” according to Matthews. I laughed when I heard this. For those who don’t know, Taz left TNA earlier this week, so he wasn’t here tonight and we won’t being seeing him again. I didn’t hate Taz or anything, but I was never really a fan and can’t say I’ll miss him.

Match #1 - The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) vs. The Revolution (James Storm & Koya)

Remember everyone, Jeff & Matt have never been TNA World Tag Team Champions. I can understand how you’d miss that little fact since it’s not like TNA beats you over the head with it every chance they get. Manik & Abyss don’t come out with the Revolution which I thought was weird, but maybe Storm is still angry at them since he feels they failed him?

As for the match... meh. Kinda short really. Definitely the weakest match of the night. This was the first real match I’ve seen with Koya, and he looked... okay I guess. Clearly needs more experience before being allowed to have more real matches. Putting him in tag stuff like this though is a good way for him to get experience while keeping his ring time limited. Anyway, Hardys win after Jeff ducks the Last Call and Storm hits Koya, then Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Storm to get the win. Can’t say I’m happy with this result, but I expected it, so I’m not disappointed or anything.

Winners via pinfall: The Hardys

After the match Storm is yelling at Koya and slapping him for the loss. Why does he do this to every Revolution member except Abyss?

Jeremy Borash is n the entrance ramp to talk to the Hardys after their win, and Jeff says it’s been over 8 years since they’ve been tag team champions and Matt says that tonight they will fufill their destiny and become TNA World Tag Team Champions for the first time. Wait, Jeff & Matt have never been TNA Tag Team Champions? Who would have guessed? Can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned before.

Eric Young is backstage and says that he wants his title shot. He says that he deserves it and that Angle will find out what happens when you mess with him, just like Lashley did last week. When you mess with Eric Young, he takes advantage of an injury that someone else caused and does a kind of underwhelming beat down that somehow injures you? Go Young?

After commercials, Eric Young comes down to the ring dressed in a Kurt Angle shirt. I actually like how Young wears shirts with the person he’s feuding with. Young says that he isn’t a person to be messed with and isn’t happy, as Kurt Angle is ducking him... somehow. He says that he wants his title shot and is the #1 contender and that everyone saw what he did to Lashley last week. Already make a bad joke about that above, so no need to repeat myself.

Kurt Angle’s music interrupts and he comes out. Angle says that Young has been calling him out every day the past week all over social media, but Young should be talking to him face to face. How was Young supposed to do that exactly? Kurt live sit Pittsburg and EY lives in Nashville (I think). Was Young supposed to go to Pittsburg to talk to Kurt face to face, or was Young supposed to just do nothing all week and talk to Kurt backstage at the show tonight? I know this was all taped and everything, but TNA wants to keep the illusion that it’s happening each week, so I have to question stuff like this. Anyway, Young says that Kurt has something that belongs to him (the world title) and that Angle can be beaten and hurt by him (that line was rather lame). Angle says that Young has turned into a lunatic (it’s why we love him) and that he was a good person once. EY just says that the title was stolen from him and he wants it back (Young, be more original with your lines please). Angle says that Young will get his title shot next week, but he wants to face the old Eric Young in a straight up match. So, Kurt wants to face Super Eric?

Yes, this was a thing.
Yes, this was a thing.

Or are you talking about evil foreigner World Elite Eric Young? Or are you talking about crazy comedy Eric Young that was pantsing referees, going after Scott Baio, and married to ODB? Cause if it’s either of those, you won’t be getting a straight up match. And has Eric Young gone through more repackages over the years than any wrestler ever? I haven’t even come close to listing all of them here.

Angle says that EY can fight him fairly or he can be a coward and attack him from behind his back. Angle then turns his back to EY, and EY gets in Angle’s face and says he’ll see him next week. This scene would be cooler had James Storm not done this exact same thing to Angle a few years back.

Backstage Kenny King & Low Ki are cornering Rockstar Spud and telling him that he’s just keeping the X-Division title warm for one of them. ONE of them? Kenny King actually cares about the X-Division title? Where did this come from!?! Mr. Anderson then comes in and makes sure he’s fine. Boring scene really.

Match #2 - Spunderson (Mr. Anderson & Rockstar Spud) vs. The Beat Down Clan (Kenny King & Low Ki)

Yeah, they’re not actually called Spunderson, but someone has to name these tag teams if TNA isn’t going to.

BDC attacks Spud while Anderson is distracted with his self-announcing thing, which I thought was cool. BDC spends most of he match double-teaming on Spud, which makes sense I guess. Leads to stuff where Anderson keeps trying to get into stop it, but the ref keeps him from getting in since he’s not the legal man so Kenny & Ki can team on Spud some more. Eventually Anderson gets annoyed enough that he runs in and takes out both of them, and when the ref is telling him to get out of the ring, he rolls Spud over to the apron and tags himself in. That was a pretty cool moment to me.

Overall the match was pretty decent. Nothing amazing, but decent. King ends up pinning Spud after Ki hit the Warrior’s Way, and gets the pin while Ki keeps Anderson from being able to break it up.

Winners via pinfall: The Beat Down Clan

Backstage we get a segment with ETHAN CARTER III AND BRAM!!! :D EC3 says that tonight he will wet his appetite for championship gold with the tag titles and that they will beat Tigre Uno and... “his partner”. Before EC3 can say much more, Bram interrupts and starts saying that he is the one that is unstoppable and that tonight he is going to rip Tigre Uno’s mask off his face and shove it down his throat. EC3 stands there in silence for a moment before saying, “Great. Just make sure we win the match first.” Bram says that he just wants to hurt people as he walks away. EC3 looks at Tyrus and says that Bram is losing his mind and he (EC3) will reap all the benefits. F*CKING AWESOME scene and we need more of these two together every week.

Backstage we have a segment with the BDC (GET TO THE EC3/BRAM MATCH ALREADY!) and MVP congratulates Kenny & Ki on their win tonight. He then tells Homicide that he wants him to take care of some unfinished business: Kurt Angle. Homicide asks MVP if that means he’s gonna wrestle Kurt, and MVP says that he wants Homicide to fight Kurt. Homicide then gets it and starts walking off. So, Homicide and no one else is gonna be taking care of Kurt Angle? Seems a bit underwhelming.

Match #3 - Mask Effect (Tigre Uno & Jay Rios) vs. Awesomeness (Ethan Carter III & Bram) w/Tyrus

Jay Rios is making his debut in this match. Never seen him before this. Mask Effect isn’t their actual name, but as I said before, someone has to name these teams if TNA isn’t going to. And Awesomeness is the only thing to describe or summarize EC3 & Bram.

The match was pretty enjoyable. EC3 & Bram were great as expected. Tigre Uno was great (he’s a guy who I feel is pretty underrated and really underused by TNA), and Jay Rios looked pretty good. Not amazing, but he certainly put on a good performance and was decent. Not sure if Rios is a full signing or just a one time deal, but I’d like to see him & Tigre become a regular team. Finish comes when Bram hits the Brighter Side of Suffering on Rios, but EC3 tags himself in and quickly steals the win. Loved the finish, and I enjoyed the match. Like I said, I’d really like to see Tigre & Rios become a regular team.

Winners via pinfall: Ethan Carter III & Bram

Afterwards Bram is p*ssed about EC3 stealing the win like that, but Tyrus gets in his face to keep Bram from doing anything while EC3 celebrates.

Next up is some segment hyping up a big Knockouts announcement. Christy Hemme calls out all the Knockouts, and most of them come out (Gail Kim, Taryn Terrell, Angelina Love, Madison Rayne, & Brooke). Awesome Kong doesn’t though. And Havok & Rebel don’t come out either, but I’m not even sure if they exist any more since it’s been so long since we’ve seen or heard from either. The segment is announcing that next week will be an all Knockouts show called “TKO”, for some reason. Matches that will be on the show include Taryn Terrell defending the Knockouts title against Awesome Kong, and a 4-way #1 contenders match between Angelina, Gail, Madison, & Brooke. They all cut some pretty horrible promos that aren’t worth going into. Somehow a huge brawl breaks out, Kong comes out, and Taryn ends up coming out over all f them and celebrates in the ring with her title.

So, next week is an all Knockouts show... meh. If this was late 2009 I could see it. In fact I remember the New Year’s Eve edition of Impact that year was a 4-hour all Knockouts show (in addition to showing what was voted as the 3 best matches of the year) and it was pretty solid. But the Knockouts roster ain’t what it used to be and I’m just not looking forward to it at all. Also, didn’t they say earlier that Angle/Young for the title was gonna be on next week’s show? Did someone screw up here, or is the main event to an all Knockouts show Kurt Angle vs Eric Young?

Backstage Robbie E & Jessie Godderz are talking about their match tonight. Robbie asks Jessie if he’s ready for tonight and Jessie says he is and asks Robbie not to mess up tonight. Robbie walks away and once he’s out of Jessie’s sight, Austin Aries & Bobby Roode approach him. They ask Robbie what the problem with the BroMans is, but Robbie says he knows what they’re trying to do and it won’t help. Aries & Roode says that they figure they have to focus on Robbie to win tonight since he’s the more accomplished and better BroMan and they just talk about how great he is. They suggest that if Robbie is able to beat them tonight he’d probably be in line for a World Title shot. Robbie agrees and says that the only question left is which one of them he’ll beat tonight and Aries & Roode give a worried & shocked look on their face. Robbie walks away and the two start talking about how that was too easy and that they need to go find Jessie now. Not much to say here, but I did like this scene.

Match #4 - The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie Godderz) vs. The Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries)

I know TNA calls them the Dirty Heels, but that name makes no sense for them when they’re currently faces. So I call them the Clean Faces.

Match starts with Robbie & Jessie arguing about who’s gonna start the match off, only for Aries to go after both of them. They bicker a bit throughout the entire match. But it was another pretty solid match. Told a decent but simple story with the BroMans arguing constantly and Roode & Aries taking advantage of it and playing mind games with them. This might actually be my favorite of all the qualifying matches. Toss up between this or EC3/Bram vs Mask Effect. Finish comes when Roode hits a Spinebuster on Jessie followed by a 450 Splash from Aries.

Winners via pinfall: The Clean Faces

After the match, Robbie & Jessie start yelling & shoving each other, and after a minute of it actually start taking swings at each other. DJ Z runs out and manages to break it up, but Robbie just shoves him and walks away. So, I guess they’re setting up a BroMans split-up. Sad to see. Still, that might not be what they’re doing. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens I guess. Wonder what happens to Zema if they do split up.

Backstage we have Homicide beating on Angle... he’s really handling Angle all on his own? When did Homicide get to be that good? Anyway, they brawl all over the place and it’s pretty boring to watch honestly. I think they just needed some filler time before Ultimate X. They could have placed that Knockouts segment here to fill some time between Ultimate X & a tag team match, but they chose not to. Angle & Homicide brawl to the ring, and when Angle gets the upper hand, the BDC comes out and beats on him. After a moment of this, The Rising come out and chase off Kenny King, Low Ki, & Homicide, leaving just Kurt & MVP in the ring. MVP goes to hit Angle in the head with a chair, but Young runs out and gets between them. MVP agrees to lay off Angle, hands EY the chair, and leaves. Young picks up the chair and goes to hit Angle with it, but he stops and just drops the chair. I don’t know what they’re trying to do here. I guess it has to do with that “old Eric Young” stuff from earlier, but I don’t find it that interesting. I like EY’s current crazy character and want to see him continue that. Personally I would have liked to see him still hit Angle with the chair after chasing MVP off, just to show how crazy he is. But I’ll wait and see where this goes. I think EY will still go back to this crazy self we’ve seen the past few months, as I don’t see them turning him face so soon.

Another video for the Dollhouse is shown, and it’s just as weird and out of place as the last one. Are we gonna get any explanation for these videos when they debut, or are they never gonna be brought up?

Match #5 - Ultimate X for TNA World Tag Team Championships: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) vs. The Beat Down Clan (Kenny King & Low Ki) vs. Awesomeness (Ethan Carter III & Bram) w/Tyrus vs. The Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries)

Only the 3rd time ever the Tag Titles are on the line in an Ultimate X match. Aries, Kenny, & Low Ki have all won Ultimate X matches before, while Jeff & Roode have been in some but never won any. First Ultimate X match for Matt, EC3, & Bram. There’s your irrelevant trivia for the day. And remember: The Hardys have never won the TNA Tag Team titles.

Ultimate X match is a match where they have a structure set up around the ring with wires that hang above and go across the ring, and you win by grabbing the object in the middle (in this case being the tag title belts). Just for those who don’t know.

This was a really fun match. King, Ki, & Aries was pretty much made for a match like this and did great. Roode put on a great performance. EC3 & Bram were just awesome as expected. And the Hardys... did stuff I guess. There were some really cool moments in the match though. One of my favorites was when a bunch of guys were climbing towards the middle of the wires, Tyrus was outside and started shaking the structure to cause them all to fall. I had never seen that before and thought it was neat. TNA’s done almost 40 of these, so I always like and am impressed when they can do something new.

A ladder was brought into the match at one point, which usually I don’t like, but I’m fine with it due to the circumstances. Bram & EC3 were the only guys up at one point and Bram wanted to start climbing to get the belts, but EC3 stopped him. He just pointed at his head and went outside the ring to grab a ladder, which he set up so they could climb up and get the belts easier. This section I was fine with, but unfortunately later on some other people were using the ladder and it basically became a ladder match, which makes me curious why they made it an Ultimate X match to begin with.

There was a point where I was thrilled late in the match. Everyone but EC3 was down, so he had Tryus come in the ring and he climbed up on his shoulders so he could reach the belts that way. Unfortunately Aries then did a dropkick to Tyrus and took them both out. Bram did a quick attack and took out Aries, but he was afterwards taken out too. Clean Heels almost have the match won afterwards, but Homicide runs out to stop them. The BDC almost then wins the match, but the Hardys keep them from being able to do it. While Ki is hanging there, Jeff is able to walk across the wires (using the structure to balance himself) and knocks Ki off. He then grabs the belts, while Matt sets up a ladder underneath him for some reason, and the Hardys are the new champs. Why? Cause f*ck you, that’s why. It’s not like TNA has more deserving and more talented teams to get the belts. No, let’s give it to the guys who haven’t put on a good match in 10+ years, aren’t reliable, are sh*t on the mic, are mediocre at best (Matt) or just terrible overall (Jeff) in-ring, and overall just don’t deserve the titles. F*ck you TNA for always pushing the Hardys down our throats. Why isn’t Drew Galloway complaining about these guys being shoved down our throats all the time? I don’t even like Galloway, but he’s better than these two. Just... this is just a horrible move. Get ready for mediocre at best tag title matches for a while; something that could have been avoided if any other team won the titles here.

Winners via idiotic management who won’t stop shoving people who don’t deserve what they’re being given down our throats: The Hardys

Overall Impressions:

Really fun show tonight except for the finish. F*ck that finish. But other than that, really enjoyable show. Most of the tag matches were fun (I thought the opener was way too short), and while I’m not a big fan of this “old Eric Young” thing, I like Angle & Young feuding. It’s something new. Not a big fan of what’s happening with the Knockouts, but I haven’t been a fan in years. Ultimate X match was good, except for the stupid decision to give the titles to the Hardys when they were the least talented team and there were more over guys in the tournament. But like I said, fun show tonight, and easily the best show since we got back to Orlando. I hope TNA can follow up this show with similar quality, but I unfortunately doubt it with that Knockouts show next week. Two hours of EC3 would be better. But we do have Angle/Young (I think), so there’s that.

But like I keep saying: Fun show with a bad ending.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of the show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/10/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the April 10, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. Sorry this is up late, but I was really busy with other stuff. Shouldn’t happen again. Anyway, let’s start the review.

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Kurt Angle opens the show by saying that there’s been a lot of controversy the past week (with Lashley getting his shoulder up but Angle still pinning), and he’s not gonna back down from controversy, so he calls out Lashley. Lashley comes out and does some sh*t mic work and shows the video from last week, saying that the Kurt Angle he knew wouldn’t take a win like that. Angle says that he will fight anyone for the title at any time, and says it’ll be Angle/Lashley for the title again tonight, but Eric Young’s music interrupts.

Eric Young comes out and keeps yelling “no”, before saying that this is the problem with wrestling today; that no one follows the rules. He then says to look at the rankings as he’s the #1 contender and brags about how he made Bobby Roode tap out last week. He then starts bragging that he should get the title shot and that Bobby lost and should go to the back of the line.

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Lashley then tells him that he needs to shut up and earn his spot... even though EY already did. Young then tries to attack Lashley, but Angle holds him back. Lashley then tries to spear EY, but he dodges and Lashley hits Angle. Young then gets out of there.

After commercials, Angle says that he’ll fight Lashley tonight and EY since they both thought they got screwed. Angle then says that this is because he’s the best in the world and no one can beat him... except AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, EC3, Jeff Jarrett, Magnus, Jeff Hardy, James Storm, Bobby Roode, and sooo many others that have beat him. Overall, not a great opening. I just didn’t care much.

Match #1 - Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In 2008 this would have been great... but it’s 2015. Does anyone care anymore? The match wasn’t that great. They’ve had far better stuff before. Kong wins after an Awesome Bomb.

Winner via pinfall: Awesome Kong

Backstage where James Storm is talking to Mickie James, and something about last week when Bram tried to attack her but Storm stopped it. Mickie walks away, and Manik asks what’s up with her. Storm shoves food in his face/mouth and holds his hand there and tells Manik to never question him. He then tells him to gather the guys as they’re in for a fight tonight. I’m curious to see where this whole thing with Storm & Mickie goes, but it’s just so random & out of place that I’m not sure what to think of it right now.

After commercial, Storm & The Revolution (Abyss, Koya, & Manik) are in the ring. He says that he called them out here for a talk and says that he had a vision for a group, a revolution, but they have all failed him. He makes a comment about how Sanada failed him too many times, so his name will never be spoken in this group again. He then goes on about how everyone in this group has failed him, and goes over why. He then says that there’s always room for one more in the Revolution, but there’s always room for one less. He then says that one of these three will join him in the upcoming tag title tournament, and a big “Manik” chants breaks out, which was awesome. Storm says that they’re gonna fight it out to determine who. He then calls out a ref, and tells him that the only rule is that there must be a winner. So James Storm has the ability to book matches now? Where did this come from?

So, I’m not sure what’s going on with Sanada at this point. It’s possible that this is a storyline and Sanada is gonna return down the line as a face to feud with Storm. If this happens, I’d be fine with it and would actually look forward to some of the matches. But I don’t think that’s what’s happening. With how sudden and out of nowhere this was, it leads me to think that Sanada left TNA and they weren’t able to write him off TV so they just did this. If that’s the case, I’m sad to see him go, but it won’t affect anything. Since Bound for Glory, he hasn’t done much of anything besides interfere in Revolution matches and spray mist in people’s faces. He’s really become the most irrelevant guy in the Revolution storyline, which is odd when you think about it since the storyline started centering around him. But this is all just speculation at this point. We’ll have to wait to see what happens with Sanada in the future.

Match #2 - Abyss vs. Koya vs. Manik

Manik did a few cool things in this match. That’s all that’s positive. It was really short and not very good. Koya wins after beating Abyss & Manik with a giant wooden stick that James Storm brought out for some reason. He then hits the Koya Bomb on Manik and gets the win. That’s all it took to take down Manik. TNA does remember he’s a former X-Division champ, right?

Winner via pinfall: Koya

Drew Galloway & The Rising come out, so hopefully we’ll finally be told who these guys are. Galloways says that all he ever wanted to do was be a professional wrestler, and that he started when he was 15 and he’ll continue until the day he can’t walk. He then says that he’ll find a way to continue to wrestle even when he can’t walk; that’s how much he loves this sport... this is one of the most annoying Galloway promos I’ve ever seen. I can’t even make fun of them; they’re just annoying and I want them to stop. He then thanks the fans for something (he never got around to saying what) and says that he’d give them the shirt off his back. He then says that actions speak louder than words, and he will give you the shirt off his back, so he takes it off and throws it to the crowd. Just when I think Galloway can’t get worse he finds a way to. He then says generic sh*t about him starting the Stand Up movement and that with the help of the fans, they’re gonna change professional wrestling for the better. Galloway is gonna retire then? He then says more stuff I don’t care about, and talks about how he couldn’t beat the BDC by himself, and that they were the Rising. Then tells the crowd that they’re the Rising, and says that everyone across the world who has a dream and the guts to peruse their goals is the Rising. What if our dreams and goals have nothing to do with Galloway or professional wrestling? Does that still mean we’re in the Rising? He then tells the other guys to introduce themselves to the world and hands the mic over, so we’re finally gonna find out these guys names.

The first guy grabs the mic and says that his name is Mica. He’s the son of Haku, a wrestler so legendary that I had to look him up on Wikipedia to find out who he was. I recognized him as Meng from WCW, and I certainly remember what a great technical wrestler Meng was. He put Bret Hart & Chris Benoit to shame, and being his son will certainly put him on at least the same level as Kurt Angle, probably higher!

He then talks about generic stuff about the Stand Up movement and Drew having issues with the BDC on his own, how the BDC are bullies, and I don’t care. This guy isn’t terrible on the mic, but he’s just so generic and his work is something I’m sick of hearing of that I just don’t like listening to him.

He hands the mic over to the second guy, whose name is Eli Drake. He starts talking to the BDC, and says he’s gonna tell us why he’s standing here with these two men. A paycheck; what else? He says that all 3 of them are joined by a common bond, and that they weren’t robots made in a factory and weren’t “superstars”, they were professional wrestlers and had something to prove. WWE refers to their wrestlers as superstars, right? I’m pretty sure that was a shot at them, I just wanted to make sure. I’m still amazed that there haven’t been any references to Connecticut or “up North” or anything like that. Drake then says some more generic stuff to the BDC and about the Rising, and it’s just everything we’ve heard before. Drake seemed decent on the mic here, despite the stuff he was given, but I think it was only because he was next to a guy who’s annoying and a guy that makes The Wolves look like the most interesting and charismatic mic workers of all time. And for a guy who claims he wasn’t made in a factory, he looks really generic.

The BDC’s music interrupts (thank god), and Kenny King & Low Ki come out carryng giant BDC flags for some reason. Aren’t they stealing the Revolution’s thing? That the Revolution stole from Team Canada? Sigh... why couldn’t I be watching some of their stuff right now?

MVP grabs the mic and starts mocking their name, cause a guy that named his stable the Beat Down Clan certainly has the right to do that. He then says that the Rising is trying to make a name for themselves off of the BDC which is a mistake, and something about how people rise up just to get beat down. MVP then says that he wants to tell Drew the story of the Rising and their tragic downfall, a story that ends tonight. Drew then starts counting down from 3, and when he gets to 1 the two groups start brawling. Security & some referees run down to try and separate them. When we come back from commercial, the Rising is in the ring while the BDC & security is outside. Galloway says that these people want to see them fight each other... even though I and others don’t. He then asks for someone to sanction a six-man tag and for someone in the back to stand up, which leads to a 6-man tag. At least we don’t have to hear the Rising talk anymore. Really sad when out of 6 guys, MVP is the one I’m 2nd most excited to hear speak (first is Kenny King).

Match #3 - The BDC (MVP, Kenny King, & Low Ki) vs. The Rising (Drew Galloway, Eli Drake, & Mica)

This match is... bleh. It’s not horrible or anything, but Galloway still fails to impress me, and the other rising members didn’t impress me either. Just average. And when you’re facing Low Ki & Kenny King and can be barely passable, something is wrong. There’s nothing memorable about this match and was a pain to sit through. Finish comes when a masked man comes down and attacks the Rising with a pipe, causing a DQ. He’s afterwards unmasked and revealed to be the returning Homicide. I was never a big Homicide fan. I thought he & Hernandez in LAX were a great tag team, but outside of that I never found him that impressive. That said, I was thrilled to see him return here just so he ended this match. Thank you Homicide!

Winners via DQ: The Rising

Backstage Kurt Angle is talking about the world title scene, but Eric Young randomly runs up and attacks him, which I found really funny for some reason. After Young is done beating on him and leaves, a guy (some staff member I guess) runs up and asks Kurt if he’s okay.

“Is your vision blurry?”

“Look, just because you’re 10 feel tall doesn’t mean you can get in my face like that!”

Match #4 - Davey Richards vs. DJ Z

Looks like they’re trying to give Davey a little bit of a single’s push while Eddie is out of action. This was actually a pretty good match. Nothing amazing, but still pretty good and my favorite match of the night. Would have loved to see it get more time, but that’s what happens when you waste so much time with The Rising. Davey gets the win. Hate seeing Zema used just to put other guys over, but this was still a good match. Look forward to seeing where Davey goes from here.

Winner via pinfall: Davey Richards

Afterwards they air a weird video that I can’t even describe. It’s on TNA’s youtube page, so I’m just gonna post the video here:

So, Dollhouse... does this mean Eliza Dushku is gonna show up?

Seriously, I believe Jade is a wrestler Mia Yim, whom I’ve heard great things about but have never seen. But I’ve also heard good things about Drew Galloway, and look how that’s turned out. Don’t know who the other woman is though. Still, I’ll give both of these women a shot when they debut and hopefully they’re good. TNA needs some new & talented women in the Knockouts.

Jeff & Matt Hardy come out, and Jeff tries to get another “Hardy’s Revenge” chant going, and is only mildly successful. It sucked the first time you did it Jeff; what makes you think it’d be better now? They cut a horrible promo with them saying they were gonna become the TNA World Tag Team Champions, only for Ethan Carter III’s music to thankfully interrupt them. EC3 describes the Hardys’ careers as “fairly adequate” (a line I thought was awesome) and then describes his own 19-month undefeated streak in TNA (which is also officially the longest undefeated streak in TNA history). EC3 says that despite this, he still hasn’t gotten his rightful shot as the TNA World Heavyweight Championship or any championship gold. EC3 says that he’s inserting himself into the tag team title tournament and will win the titles with his new partner, someone who only wants to beat other people up: Bram!

Bram’s music hits, and he says that the thought of teaming with anyone right now makes his skin crawl. He says that he hates everyone, but out of all the people he hates, he hates EC3 the least. Bram then says that he only cares about battering the Hardys and everyone in the locker room. This EC3/Bram teaming is really random, but so awesome at the same time. The promos from this team could be amazing.

The lights go out and Mr. Anderson’s music hits and he comes out. He then introduces Rockstar Spud as his partner for the tournament. Shouldn’t Spud really be teaming with Mandrews instead? Austin Aries’s music then interrupts and says some stuff, basically boiling down to him knowing he has the Feast or Fired briefcase for a world title shot, but he’s feeling greedy. So he says that he’s going to win the tag titles next week with his partner, a former world champ that he’s held the titles with before, Bobby Roode. They were the Dirty Heels before, but they’re faces now, so that name won’t work. The Clean Faces then?

So, decent segment. It set up several of the teams for the tournament next week, some of which look pretty promising. That said, why are guys that were concerned with the world title two weeks ago (EC3, Aries, & Roode) now concerned with the tag titles? But still, the tournament next week looks pretty interesting, and this segment did honestly get me excited for it.

Match #5 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Eric Young vs. Lashley

This match was alright. Nothing great, but alright. Eric Young looked pretty good in it, which made me happy to see. But honestly, there isn’t much to talk about here at all. Lashley’s leg got injured, and Angle wins after hitting a moonsault on it. Seems like a heelish thing to do. I like the finish though; keeps Young looking strong for (hopefully) an upcoming feud with Kurt.

Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle

After the match, Young attacks Lashley and goes after his injured leg. He takes a chair to it, and puts the figure-four on it. Not much to say really. Again, makes Young look good, which is good. I assume and hope they’re going for an Angle/Young feud now, but I won’t get my hopes up. A few weeks ago I thought EC3 was making a run for the world title; now look where he is.

Overall Impressions:

This show was really meh.

Yeah, the show wasn’t the worst in quality, but there wasn’t much great here either, and I honestly just found the whole show boring. There’s been a bit of a theme of that since we got back to Orlando. It set up some stuff for the future that should be interesting, but the show itself just wasn’t that enjoyable to me. I look at this and think that I had three things I could have been doing this night: Watching Impact, Watching Daredevil, or doing homework. I watched Impact, and all I feel is that I wasted my time as homework would have been more useful and Daredevil would have been more enjoyable.

Now, TNA didn’t make it clear on this show which teams were going to be competing for the tag titles on the next show and I only found out the full line-up later by watching videos on youtube, so I’m going to list everyone competing to make it convenient for you:

  • The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy)
  • The Revolution (James Storm & Koya)
  • The Dirty Heels (Austin Aries & Bobby Roode)
  • The BroMans (Robbie E & Jessie Godderz)
  • The BDC (Kenny King & Low Ki)
  • Ethan Carter III & Bram
  • Mr. Anderson & Rockstar Spud
  • Tigre Uno & Jay Rios

All 8 teams will compete in normal 2-on-2 matches, and the winners of those matches will advance to an Ultimate X match later in the night to crown new tag team champions. I already know the teams in the Ultimate X match since TNA gave it away by showing some shots in the ad for next week show, but I won’t spoil it.

Anyway, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/3/15

Hey there guys and girls; I’m TheCannon, bring you another review. This week we look at the April 3, 2015 episode of TNA Impact Wrestling. I stopped watching Sherlock to watch this, so it better be good and you better enjoy this. Let’s get started.

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Tonight is what they’re advertising as a special “Bell to Bell” special, but I don’t entirely get that. A few big matches tonight like Angle/Lashley, Magnus/Bram, & Roode/Young, but the name is still odd. They show some very cartoonish graphics to hype up the matches, and they look awful. Kurt Angle & Lashley even looked identical on them.

Match #1 - Submission Match: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Eric Young says some generic stuff about all good things must come to an end, and tonight he ends Roode’s career. Roode comes out and says that history is written by the victors so let’s go over history. No, let’s just wrestle. Roode says that Young cost him the world title months ago, and since then Roode’s beaten him in a steel cage and last man standing, so tonight it ends. Young then says more nonsense to him, and says that he’s gonna make Roode tap out. Roode then says more stuff, and it’s officially made into a submission match. Basic rules are that you can only win by submission, so it’s simple. Roode then runs down and they start brawling. Also, Eric Young has a new tattoo. Had trouble getting a good look at it, but I just thought it was worth noting.

The match was alright. Nothing amazing, but alright. I preferred their last man standing match personally. Match was a bit too predictable honestly. For example, there was one point where the ref was taken out and Roode immediately put Young in the crossface, and Young obviously tapped out. But the ref didn’t see it, so the match continued. Match continues, and Young ends up winning after making Roode tap out to the figure-four. Guess that’s why Young made Aries tap out last week. Glad to see Young get the win, but unfortunately, I think this means the feud is still gonna continue.

Winner via tap-out: Eric Young

The Wolves’s music hits, and Davey Richards comes out holding both of the tag title belts, followed by Eddie Edwards on crutches. This segment dragged on a bit and I don’t remember the whole thing, but basically, Eddie got injured at one of the One Night Only tapings back in February, and is gonna be out of action for a while. Davey had the option to find a new tag team partner, but he turned it down and decided to vacate the titles until Eddie is ready to come back, and gives a warning to whoever wins the belts. I really feel bad for Eddie here and it sucks to see The Wolves vacate the belts. I look forward to Eddie coming back, and I hope Davey does well until then. Maybe a run with the X-Division title? Regardless, I know I’ve talked about how boring The Wolves are on the mic, and while that was still kinda true here, I still liked hearing them talk in this segment. I just like both these guys and feel bad for them, which led to me actually caring about what they said an liking it. And the crowd was really into and behind these guys, which I was also happy to see.

Christy Hemme is backstage and interviewing Lashley...

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Match #2 - Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Two questions: 1) Why is this match happening? 2) Where the hell are the Bro-Mans!?! They’re the only reason I care about Angelina, and they’re not here. There goes me caring about this then. I like Gail, but I’ve seen this match so many times before that I just don’t care. But I have to say, the match was much better than I thought it’d be. Still nothing amazing, but I thought it was actually pretty decent. Gail wins with the Eat Defeat. I still don’t see why this match happened, but it was enjoyable, so I won’t complain.

Winner via pinfall: Gail Kim

They then show a segment where the cast of Ghost Asylum (another Destination America show) is talking to James Storm & The Revolution about investigating Storm’s barn/shack. It’s so stupid yet so funny at the same time. It sounds like something I’d pitch, so I’m glad to see TNA using my type of ideas, cause no matter how stupid they are, they are entertaining.

Video package hyping the Bram/Magnus feud so far. Gotta love how they intentionally leave out the parts where Magnus looks like a heel.

Match #3 - Falls Count Anywhere: Magnus vs. Bram

This was a really good match. Might be my favorite of the night. But honestly, there’s not much to talk about here at all. Again, good match, but I really have no comments on it. The biggest thing to talk about is that Mickie James comes out at one point (because she’s an idiot), and Bram ends up going after her and backs her into a corner (again; because she’s an idiot. Yeah, this current run has killed the like I used to have for Mickie). James Storm then comes out for some reason and tells Bram to back off and to not hit a woman. They get in each other’s faces and Storm ends up helping Mickie out of the ring while Bram yells at him. That was... odd. And random. Why is Storm out there? Why does he care about this? Are they building to a Storm face turn? Why, and how the hell would that work with The Revolution still going on? This is just an odd move. I would say I’m interested in seeing what happens with this, but it’s just so random that I have no clue what to think and really have no reaction. Magnus ends up coming back and being able to win. I think this’ll end the feud now. I think it probably could have gone on longer, but probably a good idea to end the feud before it gets stale, and I honestly was getting sick of it. Matches were great and I like both guys, but Mickie dragged down the whole feud. But overall, really good match with a really odd thing with Storm running in.

Winner via pinfall: Magnus

Backstage we have Magnus & Mickie James and Magnus wants to know what just happened (as do I), and Storm says he’s just looking out for an old friend and says that he’ll see Mickie around. Okay... I hope this is building to a Magnus/Storm feud somehow, but I have no clue where they’re going with this. I don’t think Storm & Mickie are old friends, but I could be wrong. Anyway, just a weird scene that I’m not sure what to think of. Does get me interested at least, so TNA did their job there.

Match #4 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Lashley

I would complain about them rushing this re-match, but I’d rather they just get it done with and get Lashley out of the title scene. The match was... eh. It’s what you’d expect. Some might have liked it, but I just didn’t. Finish comes when Angle gets a roll-up and a 3-count, but Lashley’s shoulder was up. They bring this up after the match and Lashley seems annoyed. I guess this is a way to keep Lashley looking strong in defeat and possibly keep him in the world title scene? I hope not, but that’s what it looks like. So, yeah. Some might have liked this match, but just like any other Lashley match or most current Angle matches I couldn’t get into it.

Winner via referee’s bad eyesight: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Eh.... this episode was fine in quality. 3 matches I thought were all good and one some might consider good, and no Drew Galloway or Jeff Hardy was nice. But really, I was just bored the entire time. Again, the matches were fine, but I just couldn’t get into the show at all. It was just boring to me. There was no Ethan Carter III or Austin Aries tonight, so maybe that was why. Or maybe I’m just still focused on Sherlock and didn’t want to watch anything else. Regardless, the entire show was fine in quality, but just boring to me. Part of why this review is so much shorter than usual, I was just bored and didn’t have much to say.

Well, that does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of tonight’s show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I’ll see you guys and girls later.

And since we didn’t get any of him tonight...

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/27/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon bringing you a review of the March 27, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. UK Tour is over and we’re back in Orlando for the first time since June of last year. How would TNA do when returning to this familiar city and follow up with everything from the great UK tour? Let’s start the review and find out.

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The show opens up with a video package hyping up what James Storm did to Jeff Hardy a couple months ago back at Lockdown, and hyping up Hardy’s Revenge tonight, as the main event is Storm vs. Hardy in a steel cage match. Now, wouldn’t it make more sense to have this next week? Jeff could have made a surprise return tonight and set up the match for next week, or maybe spend a few weeks building to it by having Jeff go through the members of the Revolution. But maybe I’m just weird.

Before I begin talking about the show, I gotta say I like the set-up they have for the arena tonight. I saw some pics before and din’t care for it, but it looks good on the show. It’s hard to explain, but it’s basically a rock-looking like set up they have at the entrance ramp. Sounds terrible, but it looked unique without being distracting. Also two screens for some reason. Well internet, you said you wanted the screen back. Hope you’re happy.

James Storm & Koya come out (no Manik, Sanada, or Abyss for some reason) with a cage set up already for some reason, and Storm says that tonight is Hardy’s revenge, which results in a “Hardy” chant, and Storm joins in and says that they can chant all they want, but Jeff isn’t here tonight as he put him out weeks ago, just like he put out Matt Hardy last week. Storm then says something about Hardy being down for dangerous dives off cages and everything, and he gave them that. Storm then talks more about what if you’re against the Revolution and something about showing Jeff Hardy, and throws a piece of fruit (I think it was a small watermelon) out onto the floor. He then says something about taking out Jeff Hardy again, until Jeff’s atrocious music interrupts and he comes out.

Hardy says some stuff about how he’s still hurting (then why are you there?) but he can still kick Storm’s @ss. He then says some sh*t about he’s still standing with the support of his family. Well, at least he didn’t mention the creatu- I spoke too soon, he then talked about the support of the creatures. Some more sh*t is said, and it’s Jeff Hardy speaking. Do you care? He’s just terrible. Some more nonsense is said and Hardy eventually goes to walk towards the cage, but Storm tells him to wait a second. Manik then comes up behind Jeff and attacks him, which I liked seeing. Storm tells Manik to break Jeff’s arm, but Hardy fights him off and hits the Twist of Fate on him. Afterwards Abyss comes out and begins attacking Jeff, and Storm says that Jeff is just as stupid as he looks. With how stupid that facepaint & those arm things he wears to the ring are, I don’t think that’s possible. Hardy ends up fighting Abyss off, and Hardy yells to Storm that Manik, Abyss, & “big man” (Koya) isn’t gonna be able to help Storm. Hardy then asks for the roof to be lowered, and Storm says something (forget what). Hardy then starts a “Hardy’s Revenge” chant, which is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard. Hardy is just f*cking awful. And why did Jeff ask for the roof to be lowered if the match wasn’t gonna happen then?

Replay of Spud’s awesome X-Division title win last week is shown.

Backstage we have MVP, Kenny King, & Low Ki talking about how they lost Joe and the X-Division title, and tonight Ki says that he’s winning it back. So, that’s it? They didn’t even try to write Joe off TV? After almost 10 years with the company and putting on some of their greatest matches & moments and currently being involved in their biggest story, and they don’t even explain why Joe’s gone, he just is? They couldn’t even re-air that thing from a few years ago where he was kidnapped by ninjas? This just doesn’t make much sense to me. I know they got unlucky with the timing of Joe’s leaving after they threw in in the BDC, but they probably should have made sure they had him longer before putting him there.

Backstage, Storm is yelling to Koya that he’s sick of Jeff Hardy (as am I), and says that Manik & Abyss have failed him. After that, Storm yells at Koya that he wants Koya to dispose of Jeff Hardy, and if he doesn’t, Storm will dispose of him. Koya then does a weird yell and runs off. That was... odd.

Match #1 - TNA X-Division Championship: Rockstar Spud (c) vs. Low Ki

Wow, Spud’s hair grew back a lot in a week. Almost like there was a two month break between TV tapings or something like that, but there’s no way that happened...

There was a really weird moment where Spud was knocked down and had to get up before a 10-count, otherwise he’ll lose the match via knockout, for some reason. Yeah, I’ve seen that in Last Man standing matches, but why here? It’s just a normal match. Doesn’t make any sense.

MVP & Kenny King come out to distract the ref so some shenanigans can happen. But Drew Galloway comes out to get them off, and while Ki is yelling at him, Spud’s able to get a roll-up win and retain the belt. He gets out of the ring and is handed the belt, while the BDC looks angry at Galloway. Also, Galloway was wearing a t-shirt saying “The Rising”. But why? It makes no sense right now and just stands out as odd.

Overall not a great match, but it did seem like it was for story telling purposes and not trying to put on a true match. Still, after Spud’s great match with EC3 a few weeks ago, I really want to see Spud have some real matches soon. Him against DJ Z could be a lot of fun.

Winner via pinfall and STILL X-Division Champion: Rockstar Spud

After commercial, the BDC is in the ring. MVP talks about Galloway and his bad campaign thing (thank god someone else is talking about its awfulness). MVP says that Galloway hasn’t been fair when he interfered in the MVP/Lashley match a few weeks ago or when he attacked Low Ki with a pipe, and threatens to put him in the hospital. More threatening when Storm does it. He then threatens to slap everyone in the crowd unless Galloway comes out.

Galloway comes out and says his typical sh*t about the fans and standing up for wrestling. He talks about the BDC pushing themselves down people’s throats every week and the fans being sick of it, but he’s ignoring the fact that he’s doing the same thing, only Galloway’s awfulness is worse than anything the BDC has done or is capable of (I’m personally not a fan of the BDC, but at least the group is full of talent. Galloway... is hot and nothing else). More of this nonsense goes on with Galloway stealing Scott Hall’s old survey thing, and eventually Kenny King says that aside from the losers in the crowd, there’s no one who’s willing to stand with Galloway. You’d think that guys who have been feuding with the BDC (Roode, Aries, Angle, Lashley, & Gunner come to mind immediately) would stand with Galloway, but we’re not supposed to think about that I guess. After this goes on for another minute, two guys jump the guardrails and attack MVP & Ki while Galloway runs in and attacks King. They run off the BDC and Galloway says that these guys are The Rising. Because apparently the BDC, The Revolution, & the Bro-Mans weren’t enough stables for TNA. At least it explains the shirts.

Now, I would give my thoughts on this new stable, but I can’t. You know why? Because I don’t have a damn clue who these people are. Aside from not recognizing them, TNA didn’t even tell us their names. I know I could easily go online right now and find out who these guys are, but no. I refuse to just out of principal. TNA could have just told us these guys’ names, and I could have checked them online to see what they’ve done in the past. But no, TNA expects up to automatically know this. These aren’t major names you’re debuting, they’re nobodies! Just mentioning their names would have been nice. They might be better in-ring than Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit and better on the mic than 80s Ric Flair or Ethan Carter III, but they make a terrible first impression when you don’t care enough about them to tell us who they are. Seriously, was this that big of a problem?

They then show some odd video package for Awesome Kong and... I can’t explain it. It’s so bad it’s hilarious.

Match #2 - Brooke vs. Awesome Kong

Brooke doesn’t even look like a wrestler. I hate that phrase, but just look at her. She literally just comes out wearing as little clothes as possible and looks more like a stripper than anything. Seriously, when you come out of the entrance tunnel and the first thing is turn around, bend over, and shake your @ss for the camera, what am I supposed to think? That you have the in-ring skill of Cheerleader Melissa? *Sigh* Why couldn’t I be watching one of her matches right now?

Match was... bleh. Brooke got in a little bit of offense, but it was mostly Kong dominating. She wins after some move. No one cares.

Winner via pinfall: Awesome Kong

After the match Kong spends a long time setting up a table to put Brooke through, but Taryn Terrell runs out and starts fighting with Kong. They fight and Kong ends up putting her through the table. So basically, no progress has really been made with this story so far and they’ve just been wasting our time.

Austin Aries is backstage saying that last week’s match with Angle & Lashley was great. He says that a world title win can make a man’s career, he should know as he’s done it. He then says that Angle deserves a celebration tonight for his world title win, but than asks what if we had two celebrations tonight as he holds up the briefcase. The cameraman asks if that means he’s gonna cash in tonight, and Aries asks if that’s a rhetorical question. So, is Aries just gonna keep teasing every single week that he’s gonna cash in and never do anything else?

Backstage we have Jeff Hardy going on about some nonsense until Koya tries to attack him from behind. Koya beats on him for a minute until Hardy turns it around. Jeff grabs a beer bottle out of the nearby trash can and hits Koya in the head with it and tells him to stand down. He does this another two times, but the third time tells him to get up.... after he just told him to stay down. Jeff, what the hell? Eventually after another shot, Koya just can’t get up and Jeff walks away. I would complain about this scene, but it’s Koya that looked bad here. I really can’t complain about that.

Kurt Angle comes out with the TNA World title belt. Angle says some nice but generic stuff about this being another title reign, and how long it’s been since his last world title run. He also says that winning the world title again last week was one of the proudest moments of his career. Um...

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Yeah, I know they have to hype this stuff up, but come on!

While Angle’s talking, Ethan Carter III’s music interrupts and he & Tyrus come out. EC3 talks about how Kurt’s an inspiration and how he did the impossible in beating Lashley. EC3 then talks about how something else that sounds impossible is going 18 months without being pinned or submitting and beating every single TNA Hall of Famer. He then says that two weeks ago he put the entire industry on notice and that he’s putting Kurt on notice. EC3 says that he’s gonna take the belt off Angle, but Bobby Roode’s music interrupts. Roode says that any talk about the future of the world title should involve him because he was cheated out of the belt and never got a rematch. Roode says that he respects Angle and that he deserves this moment... so why the hell are you interrupting and ruining this moment Roode? EC3 interrupting made sense, but you... it’s just weird.

Honestly, this segment got hard to follow. Eric Young comes out and says some stuff about Roode never being the world champ as long as he’s around. Why is Roode/Young continuing? Shouldn’t it have ended two weeks ago when Roode won the Last Man Standing match? Young says more stuff about how he’ll never let Roode get the title again, and that he controls the entire future of the world title. But based off of what he just said, he should only have control if Roode was in a title match. Austin Aries ends up coming out and says that he holds the future of the world title in his hands and holds up his briefcase. He says that this is supposed to be Angle’s celebration (then why are you ruining it?), and that everyone in the ring has been a world champ... except EC3 (and Tyrus, and no one acknowledges that). Hopefully that’s foreshadowing an EC3 title run in the future. Aries grabs a bottle of champagne out of his briefcase (alright, that was pretty cool) and says they’re here to celebrate tonight, but asks if they’re going to celebrate Angle’s title win or Aries’s, yet again teasing cashing in. Angle ends up saying that he’ll defend the title against any one of them at any time, and begins to walk out. But Lashley’s music hits and he comes out. Lashley gets in his face and while I couldn’t hear him (he didn’t have a mic), he basically demanded a rematch. Angle agrees to face Lashley again right then and there, but for some reason refs come down to separate them. Both guys agree to the match so... why? Match is actually gonna happen next week. Guess they just wanted to build it up a little first, which makes sense. I would complain about them rushing the rematch, but I just want it over with so we can get Lashley out of the title scene (and hopefully EC3 in there). EC3 & Tyrus begins to beat on Roode & Aries, and Mr. Anderson runs out to make the save for them, resulting in a brawl between the six guys.

A real clusterf*ck of a scene, but it did set up various potential title challengers & feuds, so it serves its purpose. Also, I know it’s too early for Bound for Glory, but please TNA: Have Austin Aries vs. Ethan Carter III for the world title in the main event. PLEASE!

Match #2 - Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, & Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III, Eric Young, & Tyrus

So, how did this match happen? Everyone was brawling, then this match was happening when we came back from commercial. They then don’t explain the match; it’s just happening. It took me a minute to piece together what the actual match was.

Anyway, match itself wasn’t anything special. Not bad, but not much really stands out about it. Finish comes when Young has Aries in the figure-four, and Aries taps. Not the finish I expected, but it makes EY look good, so I won’t complain. But again, not much here stands out.

Winners via submission: Eric Young, Ethan Carter III, & Tyrus

Bram comes out to the ring and grabs the mic, and begins to call Magnus a coward. He says a bunch of stuff about how much of a coward Magnus is and that even Mickie James has more balls and is more of a man than him. Bram makes some comment about Magnus’s son, until Magnus & Mickie comes out and Magnus tells him to never mention his son again. Magnus says some stuff I didn’t care about, and eventually says that he wants to fight Bram all around the arena in the parking lot & everywhere, basically setting up a falls count anywhere match for next week. Bram says that she’s sorry about the empty house Mickie’s gonna have to go to after he kicks Magnus’s head in (what about the son? Maybe he’ll die of shock?), but says his door is always open for her. Magnus gets p*ssed about this and runs to the ring, but gets low-blowed by Bram almost immediately and is taken down. He grabs one of the turnbuckle pieces from underneath the ring and gets back in the ring to beat Magnus with it, but instead goes to grab Mickie James and throws her in the ring. At first he wants her to kiss his boot, but then decides to try and kiss her on the mouth instead. Magnus is able to break it up and his a German Suplex on him though, and Bram just leaves the ring. Alright scene, but I just think getting Mickie involved really hurt this feud a lot.

Match #3 - Lethal Lockdown esque: James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Lethal Lockdown esque? You really didn’t have any better names? I remember back in 2009 when Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash had a match like this, they just said “Lethal Lockdown rules”, so they couldn’t do that here? If you don’t know, this is basically a steel cage match, but there’s a roof on top of the cage with weapons hanging from it. Usually it’s a 4 vs 4 or 5 vs 5 match, but here, it’s just 1 on 1.

As for the match... eh. I’ve seen far worse, but this really didn’t stand out in my mind as good. Just passable I guess. No real spots stick out to me that I haven’t seen 100 times before. They even made a huge deal out of the finish which I’ve seen before. Storm is laying on the ground while Hardy climbs the turnbuckle. He then jumps up and grabs to the ceiling of the cage (the set-up features a big black bar that he’s able to climb along). He climbs along it until he’s positioned above Storm. He then begins swinging a bit to build up momentum, and does a splash on Storm. This might have been cool had I not seen AJ Styles do the same basic thing at Lockdown 2006. The difference was that AJ was on top of the cage roof when he did this, and was climbing from the structure on the arena ceiling, and did the splash through a table. Hardy’s thing here was just underwhelming compared to it, and it felt like they were trying too hard to impress me. Maybe they should have tried passing something in that style if they wanted to impress me, rather than a watered down version. Hardy gets the win after that move. I’d complain, but did anyone expect otherwise?

Winner via plagiarism: Jeff Hardy

Overall Impressions:

This was an alright show. Not great and certainly a step down from some of the UK shows, but it wasn’t bad, had some entertaining moments, and set up stories going forward. Only 3 matches tonight, none of them being that great, but it looks like next week’s show is going to be match-heavy since they’re heavily advertising Angle/Lashley, Bram/Magnus, & Roode/Young. So next week’s show should be interesting. But as for this show, like I said, just alright. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to tell me what you thought of the show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/20/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for the March 20, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. We enter the final night of the UK tour, so how would TNA end the tour and follow up last week’s damn good episode? Let’s start the review and find out.

Also, I apologize for not getting this up last night after the show. Been having some personal issues that made me not very interested in writing. But I feel more up to writing right now so I wrote this up, and it’s not up too late, so I think everything turned out fine. Anyway, let’s get started.

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Match #1 - Ultimate X match for TNA World Tag Team Championships: The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) (c) vs. The Bro-Mans (DJ Z & Jessie Godderz) vs. The Revolution (Manik & The Great Sanada)

Robbie E isn’t here, apparently upset about his loss to Brook last week. So instead we got Zema competing, which I certainly won’t complain about. In fact, I actually liked Zema & Jessie as a team here more than I like Robbie & Jessie (and I really like those two together). I hope we see more of them in the future. Also, they make a comment about James Storm choosing to send Manik & Sanada out there to represent the Revolution. I assume that The Revolution was gonna be in the match and Storm was allowed to choose who the two were, but they didn’t explain completely.

This is also the first Ultimate X match since the network change, and the first on Impact since 2013. For those unaware, an Ultimate X match is a match where wires are set up above the ring with an object (in this case being the tag title belts), and the participants have to climb up and along the wires to get to the middle and grab it. It’s been a really fun match in the past.

The match was really good. All six guys worked great in it and there were some great spots. One of my personal favorites was when Zema & Jessie both had trouble climbing the ropes and couldn’t jump up to grab the belts, so Zema climbed up on Jessie’s shoulders to try and grab them, but Manik then gets on Sanada’s shoulders and they fight like that for a moment until the Wolves take them both down. Not saying this was the only good spot, just one of my favorites. This match also got a “This is awesome” chant, which is the first I’ve heard it in a long time.

My only complaints with the match don’t have to do with the match itself, just stuff surrounding it. For example, The Wolves’ tattoos are terrible and they keep adding to them. Why would you get a tattoo that looks like your skin has been torn off and you can see bones? Looks terrible. And Taz had some obsession with people wearing gloves which got annoying. But despite that, really good match and my favorite match of the night. Wolves win after Davey & Eddie climb to the middle and both grab a title belt while Manik & Jessie aren’t quick enough to stop them.

Winners and and STILL TNA World Tag Team Champions: The Wolves

We hear them hyping up Kurt Angle vs. Lashley for the world title tonight, and they call it one of the most anticipated matches of all time. OF ALL TIME!?! This is nowhere near close to Sting/Hogan from Starrcade 97, Hogan/Andre the Giant, or other matches hugely anticipated. Even just in TNA the Angle/Joe matches and Aries/Roode (from Destination X 2012) were far more anticipated. I understand they have to hype this stuff up, but come on!

Austin Aries comes out and says that something’s been missing from TNA the past few weeks, and that’s him. He talks about the BDC stealing his briefcase from him a few weeks back and that he’s not leaving the ring until he gets it back, and says something about Samoa Joe & Low Ki putting him through a table when they took it. Didn’t Kenny King help with that too? Why isn’t Aries calling him out then? Does he feel the same way as the creative team and think Kenny is a jobber?

Samoa Joe & Low Ki come out, and Ki is carrying Aries’s briefcase. Low Ki says something about possession being 9/10ths of the law and Aries not being able to play his games of “will I or won’t I go after the title” or something like that. Aries then points out that the BDC can’t do a thing with the briefcase. This is something I never understood about Feast or Fired, and TNA has never made it clear. You can’t cash in your title shot without the briefcase if I understand this right, but why? Whoever stole the briefcase can’t cash it in either, so it makes the whole thing kind of useless. I remember back in 2009 when the British Invasion stole Homicide and Hernandez’s briefcases that they had to win them back before cashing in, but the Brits couldn’t cash them in, and the whole thing just wasn’t well explained. Some situation here, and it still doesn’t make much sense. Just something that I don’t get though and probably didn’t explain well. Aries then says that Ki also stole his X-Division Championship (we’re supposed to remember that now?), and suggests Aries vs. Ki in a match for the World title shot briefcase and the X-Division title. Ki says that Aries doesn’t deserve a title shot and then Joe attacks Aries. Ki says that Aries wants him so bad, he has to go through Joe first, meaning we have a match. Not a great segment, but Low Ki has never really been good on the mic.

Match #2 - Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe

So, is the stipulation here that if Aries wins, he gets Ki in a match for the X-Divition title and briefcase? That’s the impression I got from what Ki said, but I didn’t hear anything official.

This is probably a good time to talk about this being Joe’s last match in TNA. It was announced last month that he left the company, but I didn’t bring it up in any previous reviews because it never felt relevant. I’m gonna be sad to not see him anymore since he became such a familiar face, but I don’t have a huge problem with TNA letting him go. The past few years he just hasn’t been what he once was. I don’t know how to put it, but outside of a handful of moments (teaming & feuding with Magnus, 2012 BFG Series, etc.), he just hasn’t seemed the same. I’m not sure if it’s age, lack of motivation, bad booking, or some combination of them. I want to put some blame on Joe as he just doesn’t seem as motivated as he once was and usually just goes through the motions (with a few exceptions, which only make the motions stand out more), but at the same time his booking has been so terrible that I’m not sure why he should be motivated. From wearing war paint and attacking people with a machete, to jobbing to Orlando Jordan, to a poorly booked feud with Jeff Jarrett, to being a pointless go-nowhere feud with the Pope, to jobbing in the 2011 BFG Series, etc, they just haven’t used him well in years. So I guess blame on Joe’s failure to impress lately goes to both Joe & TNA, but it’s still sad to see regardless. To put it shortly, sad to see him go, but hopefully TNA uses this money to find some good new & young talent to craft into stars (or they’ll find someone who’s sh*t but push anyway, like Drew Galloway).

Sorry for that long thing, but someone as major as Joe leaving TNA got me talking. The match itself pretty much shows everything I said about him just not impressing anymore. I’ve seen Joe & Aries put on great stuff, and while this was far from bad, I didn’t think it was great either. Just okay really. Finish comes when Low Ki attacks Aries, causing a DQ.

Winner via DQ: Austin Aries

After the match, Ki & Joe try to attack Aries some more, but when Ki tries to hit Aries with the briefcase, Aries ducks and Joe is hit instead. Aries then hits something (forget what) on Ki to send him to the ground, and Aries grabs his briefcase and runs out.

As Aries is walking up the ramp with his briefcase, Rockstar Spud comes out with his X-Division title shot briefcase. He runs into the ring and hands the briefcase to the ref, saying he’s cashing in.

Match #3 - TNA X-Division Championship: Low Ki (c) vs. Rockstar Spud

Fun fact: First X-Division title match since Low Ki won the belt back on January 16. TNA really doesn’t think as much of this belt as they used to.

As soon as the bell rings, Spud hits the underdog on Low Ki and gets the pin, winning the X-Division title in the process.

Winner via pinfall and NEW X-Division Champion: Rockstar Spud

After the match, Joe gets p*ssed off and starts chasing Spud around the ring while Spud runs away, and eventually is able to grab his title belt. He poses with the fans for a moment as the ref tries to raise his hand but Joe chases him backstage. This was actually a really entertaining scene, regardless of how stupid it sounds when I describe it.

As for Spud as X-Division champ, I... like it actually. I’ve talked about how weak the X-Division is in faces (not in my reviews, in person) and one of my reasons was that Spud wasn’t legit. But his great match with EC3 last week (which is my match of the year so far) made me change my opinion on Spud and showed he is legit in-ring. The whole thing got him over with the crowd, and this title win in his home country was a nice moment for him. I don’t expect him to have a long reign with the title, but I hope he doesn’t immediately lose it and has a few good defenses before he does. I really can’t say anything else other than, “Good job Spud.”

Backstage we have Magnus attacking Bram. He throws Bram into a ladder and then hits him with it, but why was a ladder set up in the middle of a parking garage? Also, whichever announced said they’re brawling all over London: No, they’re not. They’re brawling all over the area. And can it be considered a brawl when one guy gets no offense in whatsoever?

Anyway, Magnus continues to beat on him and they end up getting out to the ring. And amazingly, this doesn’t start a match between them. I figured it would since lately brawling around ringside starts a match. Now, I was watching this and wondering if I should be angry Bram is looking weak here, but I didn’t mind as it made Magnus look good and it wasn’t unbelievable or anything. But then Mickie James comes down, ends up low-blowing him, and beats on him for a minute. And now I’m gonna complain about Bram looking weak. I know he was already beaten by Magnus a lot, but it still looks ridiculous. I still see no reason why Mickie had to be brought into this feud. Decent scene until Mickie got involved, and I really liked the emotion Magnus was showing. Hopefully next week we get Bram going insane and attacking Magnus backstage like this so he can look a bit better.

We also see a little video showing various people on the roster giving their thoughts on Angle/Lashley tonight. Only reason I mention this is because Ethan Carter III was one of the guys, and he says the only reason he cares is to see who he’ll beat to become TNA World Heavyweight Champion. I really hope this happens.

Match #4 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Exactly what has Gail done to earn a title match? I know Kong should have one and Kim has brawled with her before, but wouldn’t it make more sense to have a #1 contenders match between Kim & Kong that goes to a draw or DQ, leading to this 3-way? And why the hell does Gail’s shirt say “London”? I know they’re in London, but it still makes no sense. If I went to New York, I wouldn’t wear a shit saying “New York”, I would just wear some normal clothes.

As for the match... bleh. Gail is still great, but Taryn is meh (except for her hair) and Kong ain’t what she used to be. I just didn’t care about this match, and spent most of it talking to someone else about how awesome EC3 is (have I mentioned that I like him?). Taryn wins and keeps the belt. Do you care? I don’t care.

Winner via something: Taryn Terrell

We see a video package hyping up Angle/Lashley tonight, and it says Lashley is the most dominant champion in TNA history. Really? You really consider him more dominant than Bobby Roode, Jeff Jarrett, or Christian Cage during their reigns? And if we’re talking about all champions and not just world champs, then there’s no argument to say he’s more dominant than America’s Most Wanted, Beer Money Inc, Austin Aries, Petey Williams, Christopher Daniels, and others during their X-Division & Tag Team title reigns. We then hear Angle call Lashley the most dominant wrestler in TNA history. I want to remind you that this company once had Samoa Joe during his 18-month undefeated streak. There’s no way in hell anyone could argue Lashley being more dominant then Joe during the streak. Again, I know they have to hype up this match, but can you at least be realistic when doing it?

Match #5: No Disqualification: James Storm vs. Matt Hardy

This match was announced on last week’s show. I would have said something then, but it was done over Twitter, so it didn’t stand out as much to me. I don’t know why they make matches of Twitter, but maybe I’m just stuck in the past.

Entire Revolution come out with Storm, so you know there’s gonna be some shenanigans. And within the first few moments on the match, Matt Hardy is attacked by Sanada. Matt fights him off, but what’s weird is that Manik, Abyss, & Koya just stand there while that happens. I’d think 4-on-1 would be much better. Match was okay. Not bad, but not good either. Kind of made the Revolution look bad since they have a problem dealing with Matt Hardy and no one else. Abyss brought in the thumb tacks for Storm to use, but I don’t know why. For years, anytime someone pulls them out, it backfires and they go through the tacks. So why continue to use them? And as you should have guesses, Storm goes through the tacks. Thankfully that doesn’t end the match though. It continues on for another few minutes, and Storm wins after hitting Matt with the cow bell and hitting two Last Calls on him. I know I’ve complained about the cowbell before, but I’m actually beginning to like Storm using it. And also, the two Last Calls was awesome.

Winner via pinfall: James Storm

After the match, Storm screams as the members of the Revolution and they set up the ring steps near the ring and set Matt on it. Storm grabs a mic and says that he’s the reason Jeff Hardy is out of wrestling and now Matt can visit his brother in the hospital. A few questions: First, is he trying to say that Matt couldn’t visit Jeff in the hospital before? Why couldn’t he? Secondly, I assume Storm hasn’t seen the ads for next week’s show? They kept hyping up Jeff Hardy returning and getting revenge on Storm. You’d figure he’d have seen the ads, but I guess not. Storm then hits Matt with the cowbell again and says that there’s always room for one more in the Revolution. I don’t know what to think of this. Are they teasing that Storm is gonna brainwash Matt now and he’ll join the Revolution? That’d be pretty stupid and a waste of space & time.

Match #6 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Lashley (c) vs. Kurt Angle

I really like them showing the two guys walking backstage before going to the ring. Years ago TNA did that for all their PPVs, but they just gradually stopped doing it. Gave everything a big-match feel. That said, I feel like it’s only being done here to fill time. But it does give it that big-match feel they want it to have, so I am happy to see that. We also got the Boxing Style introductions for both guys that TNA hasn’t done in a while, and I’ve always liked when TNA does them. Heard one person online say that TNA just stole it from NXT. Never watched NXT so I have no clue if they do them there, but the person seemed ignore that TNA’s been doing them on and off since 2002. The brilliance of the internet everybody!

Decent match. Not great, but much better than I thought it’d be. Angle wins after Lashley taps out to the Ankle Lock. So Angle is the world champ again. I really don’t have much thoughts on this. I love Angle, but he can’t go like he used to and I’m always just concerned for his health when he gets in the ring. I really don’t want to be thinking that during every World title match. That said, I’ve heard Angle might retire at the end of the year, so I can understand them giving him one last title run for the final year of his career. Still, hoping he doesn’t hold it for a huge amount of time. Hope Aries cashes in soon and wins the title. But regardless, good moment for Angle.

Winner via submission and NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Pretty good show. Not as good as last week’s show, but I still felt this was a good show. Some fun matches like Ultimate X happened, and some fun moments like Spud getting the X-Division title. And while we might have gotten barely any EC3, we didn't get any Drew Galloway, so I think we ended up doing pretty well. I felt it was a good closing to the UK tour this year. I really look forward to next week’s show (back in Orlando) and see where Angle & Spud’s title wins go from here, along with some other stories like Magnus/Bram & The Revolution. Also hope we get some new feuds for EC3, Roode, & Young. So in short, another good show from TNA that makes me interested where everyone goes from here.

Also, anyone notice all the Destination America hoodies being worn tonight? I’ve seen them occasionally worn by people this year, but tonight I saw them worn by Kurt Angle, Eddie Edwards, EC3, & Bram. Just something I noticed.

So, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the show or the review in the comment. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/13/15

Hey there guys, I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for the March 13, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. The UK tour is coming to close, but it’s not over yet as we enter the first of two shows in London. How would TNA do in London? Let’s start the review and find out.

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Match #1 - Last Man Standing: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Wait, they’re having a Last Man Standing match with no hype or build up at all? I know they’ve been feuding the past few months, but this would have been better for next week after a little build up & hype this week. I looked at what TNA advertised for tonight on their site, and there was no mention of this at all. You’d think this match would get more hype than Robbie E vs. Brooke, but you’d be wrong apparently.

Despite that piece of stupidity, the match itself was actually pretty solid. Probably the best Roode/EY match I’ve seen. Biggest complaint I have is the Piledriver. I like the move, but no one ever hits it in a way that looks real (at least in TNA this year). It was hit twice in the match, and neither time did it look like their head hit the mat. Just looks phony. But other than that, the match was pretty solid. It had some good spots and was a tad brutal, but never felt like overkill and I found it entertaining. Finish comes when Roode & EY are fighting on the apron, and Roode hits the Roode Bomb on EY through a table set up outside the ring. Like I said, pretty good match to me. Hopefully the feud is over at this point though, as I’ve gotten a bit sick of it by now and would like to see something new. Can I suggest a Roode/EC3 feud, and maybe Young/Angle?

Winner: Bobby Roode

Backstage Jeremy Borash comes backstage to talk to Rockstar Spud. Borash says he doesn’t have to do this (face EC3 in the hair vs hair match), but Spud says he does. He says that standing up to EC3 like that was more important than any victory, and something about how EC3 thinks that the bad guys win, but in Spud’s world, the good guys win. That means that he (Spud), Borash, & everyone. And they’re gonna shave his head. So, in Spud’s world, everyone is the good guy and everyone wins? That doesn’t make much sense at all.

Replay from the past few weeks of Drew Galloway’s debut and attacking the BDC is shown. Galloway then comes out, and his music is awful. But it goes along with his awful gimmick pretty well. Galloway says that he feels the passion from the fans & crowd (is he stealing Bobby Roode’s thing now?). He says something about wanting to feel the passion and how he’d go to shows when he was young, and climbs into the crowd because he feels more comfortable. Galloway says that once upon a time in wrestling, it used to matter what the fans wanted and they’d decide who was on their TV dictated by what they could do in the ring. Galloway says that then they started forcing things down everyone’s throats that no one wanted to see (thank you Hulk Hogan), and asks the fans for some survey (stealing Scott Hall’s thing now). Galloway then says some crap about MVP forcing the BDC at us, screwing Bobby Roode, and how this is what he’s talking about. He mentions that MVP challenged him to a match, and as he’s talking MVP & the BDC come out (thank god).

MVP then says stuff about him pandering to the crowd and how he’s not playing god, he is god as far as Galloway is concerned. MVP says something about how Galloway was once the Chosen One (stealing Jeff Jarrett’s thing now), and had the looks & in-ring skill to be a champ (he does?), but lacked a brain. MVP says he once liked Galloway once upon a time, they were drinking buddies, and because of that, he was gonna ask the BDC to step to the back so he could beat Galloway’s @ss all by himself.

Yeah, I wasn’t a fan of this whole thing. Galloway has a bad gimmick that seems to only exist to take shots at WWE (while they didn’t specifically say it tonight, it was the impression I got) and rips off other (far superior) wrestlers’ bits. MVP was better, but still not great. But maybe Galloway will look better in-ring this week?

Match #2 - MVP vs. Drew Galloway

Yeah, I don’t know what I expected. Galloway isn’t bad, but there’s just not much of anything good here either that makes him stand out. So, he’s bad on the mic and average at best in-ring, so why is he getting pushed so much? As I said last week, he is attractive, but that should be one of the last concerns for a wrestler. He doesn’t even have the intensity that someone like Goldberg had or the great build someone like Buff Bagwell had, it’s just looking good as a person, not a wrestler. I know a lot of the internet likes this guy, but I just can’t figure out why.

Match wasn’t that great. Not bad, just nothing that good either. Finish comes when the BDC comes out and attach Galloway, causing a DQ.

Winner via DQ: Drew Galloway

After the match, they begin beating up Galloway. They end up giving Low Ki a pipe to take him out, and Low Ki hits him in the head with it and cuts him open, as MVP yells “Welcome to TNA” with him. At least Galloway isn’t the only one stealing old stuff; Rhino was yelling that to Bobby Lashley while beating him up back in 2009.

Backstage, Mickie James is talking to Bram and making sure he’s okay for tonight. Magnus says he’s fine and after everything that’s happened, it doesn’t matter. Mickie says she’ll be out there tonight, but Magnus tells her no and that he’ll be with him backstage. Mickie is gonna get involved in the Bram/Magnus match, ain’t she?

A video package is shown to hype up the Ethan Carter III/Spud match for later tonight, and afterwards someone asks EC3 what he thinks of the match and what he’ll think if Spud ends the streak. EC3 says something about how he’s beaten huge names with wrestling like Sting & Kurt Angle, while Spud’s name only has to do with things like “failure,” “loser”, and “99 percent” and reminds Spud that he wanted this, and to remember that.

Video package showing the Magnus/Bram feud so far, and of course they leave out how much of a d*ck Magnus looked like when screwing Bram out of the Feast or Fired case. I understand Bram’s the heel here and he turned on Magnus, but am I the only one who sees how much of a d*ck Magnus looks like in this? This wouldn’t even be a bad thing, but they’re trying to make Magnus look like a big face and thus ignoring what started the feud to begin with.

Match #3 - Bram vs. Magnus

Magnus demands that Bram meets him on the entrance ramp, and they begin brawling there. They brawl around ringside and end up getting in the ring when the match finally begins. This match wasn’t some technical masterpiece or anything, but I wasn’t expecting it to be, and still found it pretty entertaining and that it told a good story and a good showing by both guys. Mickie James comes down to the ring like I expected, and while I like Mickie, I just don’t want her involved in this. Finish comes when Bram low-blows him, causing a DQ. I didn’t expect a clean finish, but I still thought this was a bit of a disappointing way to end it.

Winner via DQ: Magnus

After the match Bram continues to beat on Magnus and eventually grabs some stuff from outside the ring to tie Magnus to the ring ropes with. Mickie James gets in the ring and ends up slapping Bram, but for some reason she stands there for a few seconds instead of trying to get away. Bram grabs her and then yells to Magnus to look what he has, and how he could take away everything from him (and I reading too much into this, or is he threatening to kill Mickie?). Bram tells Magnus to kiss his boot and he’ll let her go, and Magnus ends up doing it. I feel like I should dislike this scene, but I really don’t for some reason. It’s not how I would have booked it, but I really can’t complain about it too much. Regardless, this clearly shows the feud will be continued, which I look forward to.

Backstage, the BDC says some random crap that I could barely follow. Low Ki then gets in the camera and says random sh*t about how Galloway wasn’t going to get away with whatever... I just didn’t pay attention. Every time Low Ki says a word, my like of him goes down.

Match #4 - Robbie E vs. Brooke

DJ Z/Zema Ion is out, and does a really cool Michael Buffer parody. Hopefully he and/or TNA don’t get sued over that. Robbie comes out in a hoodie sweatshirt, brings a towel, and a stool out to set in the corner. I think he’s trying to treat it like a boxing match. The match wasn’t that good. I didn’t expect it to be, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be bad. Not as bad as that mixed tag from a few weeks ago for what it’s worth. Now, Robbie has gone over guys like Jay Lethal & Eric Young clean and has been evenly matched with Sting before, but he has problems with Brooke? It just doesn’t make much sense. Finish comes when Jessie Godderz interferes and goes for a dropkick on Brooke, but ends up hitting Robbie accidentally instead, allowing Brooke to get the win. Yeah, I don’t care. Some might have found this enjoyable, but I didn’t. Robbie can be really entertaining, but this hasn’t showed his potential best. Brooke is hot, which was shown here, and has put on some decent performances before, but facing Robbie E in a bad comedy feud isn’t the best way to make her look good. Hopefully it’s over now.

Winner via pinfall: Brooke

Video package hyping up Kurt Angle vs Lashley for the world title next week is shown. I’m not looking forward to this match. I’ve said before that I just don’t like Lashley and think he’s really limited in ring. The only times I recall him looking good were the matches against Roode. When Samoa Joe & Austin Aries can’t get good matches out of there, there is a problem. I would say Angle could carry him to a good match, but I doubt it at his age. I like & respect Angle a lot, but I don’t want him in the title scene at this point. He can’t go like he used to, and I keep worrying about him getting injured any time he gets out there. Just my thoughts though; most probably think I’m insane.

Match #5 - Hair vs. Hair: Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

Never thought I’d look forward to a hair vs hair match, but here we are. Just like other matches tonight, this wasn’t the best for technical skill, but told a great story and was entertaining. Had some good moments and both guys put on great performances. By far the best Spud match I’ve ever seen. A few things that impressed me this match was the British crowd chanting, “You cahn’t wrestle”, a point where Mr. Anderson came down to the ring to stop Tyrus, and EC3 takes him out by hitting him with the brace he’s wearing. The former world champ with wins over Kurt Angle, Sting, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, & others is taken out by something that simple. Really? And there was one point where EC3 yells “woooo!” in the corner before running and doing a splash on Spud in the corner, which I smiled at and loved. Then Matthews told us that he just hit a Stinger Splash.

Spud gets busted open massively in this match, which on the one hand did make sense with the story they were telling (How much Spud was fighting through), but at the same time it got really annoying since the show then went black & white. I’m not sure why they did this, but I saw them do it before on Destination America, but never on Spike. I guess DA wants them to censor a bit more, but I don’t see what black & white does. Just got annoying & distracting since it kept changing depending on the view. Really my only real complaint with the match itself.

Finish comes when Spud can barely stand any more, and EC3 hits the One Percenter and gets the win. As I said before, really entertaining match that told a good story.

Winner via Pinfall: Ethan Carter III

After the match EC3 grabs the mic and says that Spud has more heart than any wrestler he’s ever seen before. EC3 then talks about how he’s done some heinous things to Spud and they used to be best friends, but he ruined that. EC3 says that Spud proved in front of his hometown that he belongs in TNA and that despite his size, his heart weights more and that he could be a world champion one day. EC3 says that he won’t shave Spud’s head tonight and won’t embarrass him in front of his people as he proved himself tonight. He says he doesn’t expect Spud to accept it, but he’s going to offer Spud his hand. Spud accepts the handshake and raises Spud’s arm. Well that’s just a really great moment that shows EC3 has done the right thing. He’s realized after all these months that he’s done things wrong, and decides to put over Spud in his hometown and show how good a person he truly is. I think we should all follow EC3‘s example and look up to hi- wait, he’s gonna attack Spud, ain’t he? Yep, that’s exactly what happens. EC3 hits Spud repeatedly with his brace and screams “NOT! TIME TO PAY!” EC3 hangs Spud in the corner and shaves part of his head. Not sure why he didn’t do the whole thing. After that he grabs the mic and says that this ring, this company, the wrestling industry, and the entire world now belongs to him. I’m not entirely sure what the point of this scene was other than to try and swerve people, but EC3 did give a great performance and look like a great heel, so nothing wrong with it I guess. Hopefully though this is the end of the Spud feud and EC3 can move on to greater things. I would suggest EC3 going after a secondary title for TNA before moving up to the world title scene, but TNA decided to get rid of the TV title (after making it worthless for years) and EC3 doesn’t fix the X-Division. Maybe he & Tyrus could go after the tag titles? Still, he did a great job here, and I hope EC3 does well in whatever they give him next.

Overall Impressions:

Gotta say, I really liked this show. Easily my favorite show of the UK so far, and probably the best show on Destination America so far. Lot of good matches that forwarded/ended storylines, and they kept promos pretty short. I didn’t like the Robbie/Brooke stuff, though I can see where someone would. I don’t see what people see in Drew Galloway and didn’t like the stuff with him, but he was only on about 10 minutes of the show, so he didn’t ruin the whole thing for me. Overall, great show that I recommend checking out. Can’t say I’m looking forward to Angle/Lashley next week, but I do look forward to next week’s show just to see where some of the roster goes after tonight. Hopefully it’s able to live up to tonight.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to give me your thoughts about the show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 3/6/15

Hey there guys, I’m TheCannon, bringing you another review. Tonight TNA continues the UK tour with the March 6, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. How would the show turn out? Let’s find out.

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Show opens with the BDC coming out. They show recaps of of the title match last week with Drew Galloway interfering. Not gonna give credit to Gunner or Bobby Roode? Okay then. Kenny King gets the mic and says he’s done research about Galloway and knows he’s some sort of chosen one, and something about how Galloway has messed up by involving himself in BDC’s fun (beating up Al Snow & Grado) and business (world title match), so they want revenge (or something). MVP grabs the mic and says that Galloway interfered in their business, but he’s gonna give Galloway a chance to come out, explain himself, and apologize. Galloway shows up in the crowd and starts responding to them. He says that the BDC tried to steal the world title when they didn’t deserve it, and that stuff like that should be determined in arenas like this around the world or something like that. He says that these weren’t sports entertainment fans, they were professional wrestling fans! Ugh, shots at the WWE. While I don’t like the WWE in any way, I really don’t think TNA’s in a position to be taking shots at them. Galloway says that the BDC wasn’t just screwing Lashley or Roode, he was screwing... he then asks the audience for his name, someone responds with John, and he says they were screwing John. He then does that another two or three times. He says some sh*t about wanting to give the fans a voice or something like that. I don’t know, everything he said was blending together. Kenny ends up challenging him, and Galloway says that he’ll face Kenny right now if the rest of the BDC goes to the back. So that’s gonna happen right now.

Yeah, I really wasn’t a fan of this segment. Galloway really didn’t impress me with his mic work, and his whole thing about him being a voice for the fans I don’t care much for. But The Wolves aren’t really good on the mic and Sanada doesn’t even speak English, yet I’m a big fan of them, so maybe Galloway can win me over with his in-ring skills...

Match #1 - Kenny King vs. Drew Galloway

...or not. Yeah, this match wasn’t very good. I already know Kenny King is great, so I really gotta put the blame on Drew Galloway. He just didn’t impress me at all. He’s not terrible and I’ve seen far worse, but I didn’t think he was good either. Just a generic guy with nothing about to stand out really. I will say that he is very attractive, but I’m far more concerned with wrestling ability & mic skills, and Galloway didn't show much good in either. Hopefully he impresses me more in the future, but he didn’t make a good first impression. Finish comes when Galloway hits some sort of move (I think it was some form of a DDT) and gets the win. Is it a rule with this company that you immediately beat Kenny King when you debut?

Winner via pinfall: Drew Galloway

Bobby Roode comes out. He immediately says that Eric Young cost him the world title and ended his career, but he’s still standing! He says that tonight he becomes #1 contender for the world title, and no one will get in his way! Kurt Angle’s music then hits and Angle asks him if he said nothing will get in his way. He then says that he’ll become #1 contender tonight, and if Roode has a problem, they don’t have to wait. Both of these guys are faces by the way. As Angle begins to walk down, EY attacks Roode in ring. Angle gets in his face and runs him off, then Roode & Angle stare down each other. Just a reminder: Roode & Angle are faces in this.

Backstage, we have James Storm and Bram in the same scene! All we need is Aries, EC3, & Zema in here too and I’ll die from happiness. Storm tries to recruit Bram into the Revolution. Storm says that he likes what Bram did to Magnus and tonight he needs Bram to end Matt’s career. Bram says that he likes what Storm did to Jeff Hardy and thinks about Storm’s offer. Scene wasn’t much, but it does seem to be building up to something, so let’s hope it actually goes somewhere.

During commercials, they hyped up the March 20 episode of Impact hyping up the world title match between Angle & Lashley. WHAT THE HELL? I already knew this match was happening because I read the spoilers (don’t like to, but I can’t help myself), but it’s still ridiculous that they hype this up. That means we already know who wins the main event tonight! Who is in charge of marketing here?!?

Match #2 - Bram vs. Matt Hardy

Any particular reason this match is happening? Not that I’m complaining about Bram getting some screen time, just wondering. This match wasn’t anything special, but it was better than I thought it’d be. Bram looked pretty good, which is great for him. I really liked the finish. Bram is in the corner and Matt is getting set up for some sort of move on him, but as he’s running, Bram pulls the ref in front of him to stop Matt. Matt moves the ref back out of the way and Bram low blows him followed by the Bright Side of Suffering, and gets the win. Awesome to see Bram getting a win over what TNA believes is a star. I like Bram and think he has a promising future, so hopefully this kind of booking continues for him.

Winner via Bram Goodness: Bram

Afterwards Bram grabs part of a turnbuckle from underneath the ring. Before he can use it, Magnus makes his return and takes it away from Bram before beginning to beat on him. Bram rolls out of the ring while Magnus grabs a mic. Magnus says some stuff about his son which is terrible. It’s great he seems to be doing well off-screen with his family, but he’s doomed if he’s gonna be talking about this all the time. He then says how this isn’t about titles or money, it’s personal and something about Bram’s blood on the ground of England. That line was much better. Glad to see Magnus back, and this is actually my favorite storyline in TNA right now. Hope it continues.

Rockstar Spud comes out, getting a cheap pop by wearing a British flag suit. He says that the past few months have been some of the worst of his life but the fans got it through of. He calls out Ethan Carter III and asks for no Tyrus, just the two of them. EC3 comes out and Spud says he wants to fight him and that it’s going to end with the two of them. EC3 says that Spud doesn’t get to challenge people like him, something about him carrying the company on his back for the future, while Spud is . EC3 begins talking about how great he is until Spud tells him to shut up. Spud says he knows EC3 is undefeated, beat every TNA Hall of Famer, etc. because he was there for all that. They say stuff and Spud eventually challenges him to a match in London next week. EC3 ends up agreeing to it if Spud puts up his hair, and Spud convinces EC3 to put his hair on the line as well, meaning we have a hair vs. hair match next week between Spud & EC3. EC3 begins to walk off before reminding Spud, “In this world, the bad guy wins.” Overall an okay scene that set up the match next week nicely, but I’m really done with this whole EC3/Spud storyline. Hope it ends next week and EC3 can move on to something better.

Match #3 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Awesome Kong

What has Kong done to earn this title match? She’s attacked a few people and beat Havok a month ago, but what else has she done? Anyway, the match wasn’t very good. Taryn got in some offense, and Kong dominated. Went to a DQ when Kong wouldn’t stop holding her foot on her neck while Taryn was grabbing the ropes. Kong beats her up for a little bit until Gail Kim runs down and she ends up brawling with Kong. I truthfully barely paid attention to this, I just didn’t care. Taryn has nice hair is all I took away from this.

Winner via DQ and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrell

Match #4 - TNA World Tag Team Championships: The Revolution (James Storm & Abyss) (c) vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

I say this a lot, but I’ll say it again: The Revolution has one of the coolest themes in wrestling today. Rest of the Revolution doesn’t come out with Storm & Abyss, but it turns out that was so they could attack The Wolves when they came out.

The match was a real clusterf*ck, but had some entertaining spots. There’s one point where The Wolves do several suicide dives on Manik & Sanada and Storm & Abyss, and Koya gets up on the apron to yell at them. They just kick him off. Did he really expect much? The finish was insanely overbooked and hard to describe, so I’ll just summarize it by saying Matt Hardy came down, hit the twist of fate on Abyss, and the Wolves get the win. So, The Wolves win the titles by interference? Seems very heelish. But still, while I like the Revolution, nice to see The Wolves with the belts. Easily the best team in TNA right now. Revolution with the belts was fun and they made it work, but Wolves are better in the long run. My biggest question where do they go from here? A few more matches with the Revolution would happen I assume, and maybe the Hardys again, but then where? Though I think I heard something about Eddie getting injured at a recent set of tapings, so they may not have to worry about it for a while. Regardless, it’s just nice to see The Wolves with the belts.

Winners via pinfall and NEW TNA World Tag Team Champions: The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

Match #5 - Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Winner becomes #1 contender for the world title. This match wasn’t that great. Not bad, but nothing stood out either. Problem is it doesn’t seem like Angle can go as well as he used to, so we got a lot of filler. The final few minutes of the match were practically the same moves over and over. We also got the typical powerbomb in the corner thing TNA loves to do in multi-man matches. Finish comes when Young hits Roode with a chair from outside the ring, but Angle manages to knock EY off the apron and hits the Angle Slam on Roode, getting the win. This might be more impressive & surprising, IF THEY HADN’T ALREADY TOLD US. Seriously TNA, who thought that was a good move? It might have been Destination America and not TNA, but either way it’s stupid. After the match Lashley comes down and ends up staring down with Angle. So yeah, can’t say I’m too excited about this match. I love Kurt, he’s one of my all time favorites, but he just really shouldn’t be in ring this much any more, especially for the world title. Without thinking I could probably name 10 guys who should get a title match first. Still, I’ll just keep hope that he & Lashley can deliver a good match, but I doubt it.

Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Tonight’s show I thought was decent. Really glad to see the Bram/Magnus storyline going well and hope that continues to do as well as it currently is. Wolves/Revolution was a clusterf*ck but had some fun moments. Look forward to see what both groups do in the future. And I’m interested in EC3/Spud next week, though I hope that ends this feud and we move on to new things for EC3. Other than that, just usual stuff for TNA. Nothing too bad, but nothing stands out much either. I like what Eric Young has shown in his new character, but he didn’t showcase it fully tonight. And I’m still not sold on the idea of Angle in the world title picture, but I’ll give him a chance. Didn’t care about the knockouts and wasn’t impressed by Galloway, but I’ll give both chances in the future to see if they do more for me (doubt it though). Regardless, pretty decent show that got me interested in the future. That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight’s show or the review in the comments, and maybe congratulate me for actually getting this out on time. Regardless of what you have to say (if anything), thanks for reading and I’ll see you guys next time.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 2/27/15

What’s up guys? I’m TheCannon, brining you another review. This week we look at the February 27, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. TNA may be done in Glasgow, but the UK Tour continues as we go into Manchester. How would they do in the city? Let’s start the review and find out.

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Before we start, I’d like to apologize for this review being a week late. But last week I was focused on other more important things and didn’t feel up to writing it. Throughout the rest of the week I was still focused on that, but I decided I wanted to talk about this show, so I’m writing this up now. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I can only write these when I have the time/want to.

Show starts with Kurt Angle coming out. Highlights from last week’s gauntlet is shown, even though they showed a video recapping the gauntlet before the show started. Angle says he’s not in the mood to wait, so he calls out Lashley. Lashley immediately comes out with the title belt around his waist. Did he just happen to be standing by the entrance ramp with the title belt on? The announcers keep talking about how Kurt & Lashley have never faced each other. Gee, I wonder what that’s setting up... Angle says that Lashley needs to respect the title he’s holding, and he came back from an ACL injury just to win the world title again. Angle basically turns into a whiny b*tch and complains about Lashley not helping him against the BDC last week in the gauntlet. Angle says that Angle vs Lashley would be a good match that everyone wants to see, but instead they’re getting Lashley vs MVP. I don’t want to see it. Angle says he’s not helping Lashley tonight and hopes he’s still the champ afterwards cause he’s coming for the belt. Just a reminder: Kurt’s a face.

After Kurt leaves, the Beat Down Clan comes out. Joe says that it’s good to take Kurt’s advice (“Good luck”), and a “You sold out” chant breaks out. Joe says that Lashley is the one who really sold out, since he owes his title win to MVP & the BDC. MVP grabs the mic and says some generic stuff about Lashley standing alone while the BDC is united like the 4 fingers he’s gonna use to punch and beat Lashley tonight. MVP’s gonna only use 4 fingers to punch Lashley? Why? Anyway, a really boring intro, but it did help build up the main event well, so I can’t complain too much. Did make Angle look bad though.

Match #1 - Ethan Carter III & Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson & Rockstar Spud

EC3 pulls off pink so well. Tyrus is wearing a wool cap, which I chuckled at. Anderson does his usual self-announcing thing, and Spud grabs the mic and adds “and Rockstar Spud.” Crowd seemed to like it, but I really didn’t. Mandrews (that name will never stop being stupid & awkward) isn’t out with them for some reason. The match really wasn’t that great and didn’t stand out much. Finish makes no sense. Anderson low blows Tyrus and hits the mic check, allowing Spud to get the pin. Anderson & Spud are the faces. Why are they cheating to win?

Winners via pinfall: Mr. Anderson & Rockstar Spud

After commercial, EC3 is going nuts backstage and EC3 is yelling that he’s gonna shave Spud’s head tonight. I usually think EC3 does great in roles, but he didn’t look very angry in the face in that scene.

Taryn Terrell comes out. Taz, why are you impressed by her? I’m not. Taryn says that becoming Knockouts champ is a dream and something about the women in the back she respects. She then calls out Kong because... why not? First time I’ve heard her on the mic, and she’s just terrible. Gail Kim comes out and warns her not to face Kong because of how dangerous Kong is and how she’s taken years off Gail’s career. Taryn says that she wants this and needs to fight Kong. Gail then leaves and Taryn poses until the lights go out and Kong comes out. Now, Kong has been doing this for about 2 months now and everyone should be familiar with this bit by now. So why didn’t Taryn do something like roll out of the ring and try and to get in a position where Kong can’t see her when the lights come back on? It makes sense to me. Anyway, they brawl for a minute and Kong destroys her until posing with the title belt and leaves. Really meh scene. As much as I like Gail she isn’t great on the mic (at least as a face), Taryn was terrible, and the brawl with Kong was boring. I just really didn’t care about this scene. Highlight was Taryn’s hair, which despite looking a tad messy, I still thought looked pretty.

Generic backstage scene with the BDC talking about tonight. The end had someone yell and point at the door to get him (the cameraman) out of there. I love TNA’s cameramen, they can stand there and film whatever they want until someone randomly tells them to leave. Are they invisible for short periods of time?

Someone asks Aries’ thoughts on the main event, and Aries says he’s gonna keep an eye on it and says some stuff, also saying he thinks he has the perfect surprise ending, holding up his briefcase. Gee, that was the most subtle thing ever.

Match #2 - Robbie E & Angelina Love vs. Chris Melendez & Brooke Tessmacher

Zema does some f*cking awesome ring introductions. They need to hire him to do that job permanently; he’s infinitely superior to Christy Hemme & Socal Val. I hate Brooke’s entrance music; it’s just so bad. Also, remember, because this is important: This is a mixed tag team match, not an intergender tag team match! What’s the difference you ask? An intergender tag team match means it’s a male & female vs. a male & female under normal tag team rules. But a mixed tag team match means that you can only have man vs man & woman vs woman. If a man tag into his partner, then the other man much tag into the woman. Why have it a tag team match to begin with then? And why do they still have to tag in then when the partner should automatically become legal? The match was bad, but I didn’t expect much else. The finish made no sense with the established rules. Some nonsense happened (I already forget), and Robbie ends up pinning Brooke. But why was he allowed to do that if you can’t have man vs woman in the match? The whole thing was just stupid. Victory celebration for the Bro-Mans was really entertaining though, especially the “usie” with them all next to Brooke’s beaten body. Not much here outside of the Bro-Man’s entrance & celebration.

Winners via nonsense: Robbie E & Angelina Love

Backstage scene with EC3 entering Spud’s locker room, says “Hello Spud,” and takes out a razor. Great little cliffhanger before commercial, but unfortunately it becomes disappointing. When it comes back, Anderson is running backstage to get in there to stop EC3 from shaving Spud’s head and pulls him off, until Tyrus runs in and grabs EC3 to get him out of there. Spud had managed to grab a little piece of EC3's hair before he got away. Why wasn’t Tyrus standing outside the door to begin with? That would have made sense to make sure no one could have interrupted EC3 & Spud.

Gunner & Angle were backstage. Gunner asks Angle if he thinks his attitude towards Lashley & the BDC is the right move. To try and motivate Angle, Gunner decides to do what Angle did weeks ago and slaps him! I’ve said that needs to happen and it finally did! I would say TNA is stealing my ideas, but I don’t care!

Austin Aries comes out, and the crowd starts chanting “Aries.” He says that he has a first name; which I found funny. Aries says that everyone’s jockeying for power in TNA, but he has all the power in his hands. He asks what if tonight he decided to cash in at the right time and if tonight ended with “and your NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Austin Aries”? Joe comes out. Joe says stuff, and says that with a snap of his fingers, he can have trained assassins in the ring beating him. Are they the ninjas that kidnaped him years ago!?! Aries says stuff about what happened to the Joe he used to know who didn’t know trained assassins, and Joe asks why doesn’t he just come in the ring and snap his neck himself. They end up beginning to brawl around the ring, meaning a match is gonna happen! As we learned last week with EY & Dreamer, brawling around ringside immediately means a match happens. And this isn’t a joke, a referee comes running down and we’re told Aries/Joe is gonna happen when we come back from commercial.

Match #3 - Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe

An “Austin’s Gonna Kill You” chant breaks out. Really show you how things change. I remember back when anytime Joe came out or was mentioned there’d be a “Joe was gonna kill you” chant starting and he was arguably the most over guy in the company. I think Aries has taken that spot in recent years. Anyway, this was a pretty decent match, but I’ve seen better between the two. Still enjoyable though. Aries couldn’t hit the brainbuster for some reason, even though he’s hit it before on Joe with problem. Has Joe gotten fatter since? Some shenanigans almost happened with Kenny King, but Aries got rid of him. Aries hits a 450 Splash and gets the win. Again, decent & enjoyable match.

Winner via pinfall: Austin Aries

Afterwards the BDC (minus MVP) beat up Aries, puts him through a table, and take his briefcase. Apparently they don’t want Aries to cash in tonight. Aries should have seen something like this coming, so why reveal he might cash in to begin with?

Backstage scene with Lashley. Someone asks him about his chances tonight and he says no one has yet to go through him.... except Bobby Roode. But I guess he doesn’t want to bring that up. He’s then asked about Kurt Angle and says, “Kurt Angle? He’s bald! Looks ridiculous!” Not seriously, but I just thought that was more fun.

Backstage scene with MVP & Eric Young. MVP says some stuff about how great it is that EY got revenge on Roode, but he deserves more, so he suggests getting revenge on Lashley since he took him out. MVP mentions that what’s more important is Young doing what he wants. Pretty boring honestly, so I’m gonna rewrite it to be more entertaining.

EY: I can do anything I want. I could take out Crazzy Steve!

MVP: No Eric, that’s not what I’m talking about.

EY: I’m sick of him with that horn tooting.

MVP: Come on Eric, you gotta stay focused.

EY: I could take out Rellik for scaring me all those years ago! I don’t care if that’s killer spelled backwards!

MVP: Eric, he’s not even on the roster anymore.

EY: I’m gonna go find him!

Match #4 - Noam Dar vs. Rampage Brown

I know what you’re thinking: Who the f*ck are these people? Well from my understanding, they’re two British Bootcamp guys. I guess it’s cool that they’re getting some screen time, but I don’t see the point unless they’re signed to full contracts.

Less than a minute in, Bram comes out and attacks them both, resulting in a no contest. He grabs a mic and gives us some Bram goodness, and calls out Magnus. Grado comes out instead, and Bram beats him up too. Afterwards Bram just yells for Magnus to find him and walks off. Awesome scene. Reminds me of something I’d book in EWR. King of feel bad for Dar & Rampage since they just got thrown to the side for Bram, but Bram is awesome, so I don’t care.

Result via Bram Goodness: Draw

It’s announced that next week, The Wolves will face The Revolution for the Tag Titles. I would have liked a scene with them tonight to set up the match, but I do look forward to it.

Match #5 - No Disqualification match for TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Lashley (c) vs. MVP

Who made this a no DQ match? Seriously, who felt this was the best solution? It leads to the BDC hanging outside the ring. The ref ends up throwing them out. Why can he do that in a No DQ match? They later come back down anyway, so what was the point? The match was okay for what it was worth, but there was so much interference. Not as bad as that AJ Styles/Magnus match from a while back, but insane. There was interference from the BDC (Joe, King, & Low Ki) & Eric Young for MVP while Lashley had Gunner, Drew Galloway, & a returning Bobby Roode interfering for him. Fun thing is that I said why doesn’t Gunner come out, and then he immediately came out. And are they gonna actually do anything with Galloway, or he just gonna attack the BDC every week? It’s really hard to say much about him if that’s all he’s doing. Lashley ends up getting the win after a spear. It would have been cool if Angle had been standing on the entrance ramp watching Lashley just like last week, but that didn’t happen unfortunately.

Winner via pinfall: Lashley

Overall Impressions:

Overall this was a decent episode of Impact. Some fun stuff like Bram & Aries, but overall not much stands out. TNA seems to keep setting themselves up nicely for future stuff, and while they don’t do bad when we get there, they just seem to not produce anything amazing. But regardless there was some entertaining stuff on this show, and wasn’t much bad, so I can’t complain too much. And again, they got me excited for the next episode, so they did right there.

That’s it for the review. Feel free to tell me what you thought of the show or the review, and the review for tonight’s episode should be up much sooner. Again, I apologize for this being a week late. But, that’s it for now. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 2/20/15

What’s up guys? I’m TheCannon, brining you another review. Tonight we look at the February 20, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. How would the second episode from the UK do? Let’s find out.

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Show starts off with a hype video for the gauntlet match tonight, and going over the Impact top 5. Remember how last week they said that Roode beating Aries would mean he’d be ranked #1 and come out in the gauntlet? Remember how Roode won that match? Well guess who’s not in the Top 5. Apparently Young attacking him knocked him out of the Top 5. Why establish that set up if they weren’t gonna follow that this week? Top 5 (from 5 to 1) are Ethan Carter III, Samoa Joe, Low Ki, MVP, & Kurt Angle, so they’re gonna be the final 5 guys in the gauntlet. Now honestly, what has Angle done to get the #1 spot? He & Lashley lost a tag match last week, so shouldn’t MVP really be above him?

Show starts with Angle coming out and saying he came back to win the TNA world title. Angle says that 20 men enter the gauntlet tonight, and not one of them can beat him. That’s about it. Why did he need to come out and do that?

Backstage Lashley is asked about what Angle just said. He says that Angle talks a lot, and they’re gonna go have a little chat.

Match #1 - Matt Hardy & The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) vs. The Revolution (James Storm, Abyss, & ???)

Thanks TNA for telling us who the partner of Storm & Abyss is. I originally thought it was Koya due to him getting into some sort of brief brawl with Matt outside the ring when it started, but then Manik was in-ring and revealed to be their real partner. Why couldn’t that have just been announced Manik with Storm & Abyss? And Sanada was barely existent here BTW. Gotta love how this storyline started by centering around him, but now he’s the most irrelevant guy. And The Wolves’ claw tattoos are just terrible.

Anyway, the match was solid. Nothing amazing and it could get a tad hard to follow, but it was alright. Could have used some more time. Finish comes when The Wolves take out all the Revolution outside the ring while Matt sets up the Twist of Fate on Manik in-ring, and The Wolves come in and do a little bit of high-flying stuff to make it more exciting. One of the Wolves got the pin, but I couldn’t tell which. Think it was Davey, but I’m not positive. Like I said, nothing amazing, but it was solid.

Winners via pinfall: Matt Hardy & The Wolves

After the match The Revolution get back in the ring and begin beating down on Matt & The Wolves. Once they’re layed out, Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Manik. Okay... After that, they rolled Manik out of the ring and started leaving. Have to say that I didn’t see that coming. Could be setting up Manik leaving the Revolution, but I think it was just to show how crazy Storm is and what he’ll do if you disappoint him.

After commercial, EC3 & Tyrus come out. EC3 says that he’s not in a good mood, and talks about how he was gonna scalp Rockstar Spud last week, but someone ruined it. He then begins to issue a warning to that someone, until Mr. Anderson’s music hits and he appears on the entrance ramp. Anderson says that that someone EC3 mentions is a person and has feelings, and says that that someone hails from Greenbay Wisconsin and is Mr. Anderson, doing his whole self-announcing thing. Anderson says that EC3 shaved Jeremy Borash’s head and now he’s trying to shave poor Rockstar Spud’s head, and says that he should try to do that to EC3. EC3 says that no one is going to remove his dignity, and Anderson says that he’s talking about EC3‘s stupid hair. It’s not stupid, he has some of the best hair in wrestling! He pulls a razer out of his tights (eww) and begins to walk down to shave EC3‘s head, but EC3 says he has Tyrus as a plan and Tyrus gets out of the ring to keep Anderson from walking. While they’re staring at each other outside the ring, Spud & Mandrews (ugh, I hate typing that name) sneak up and attack EC3. A bit of brawling happens and EC3 almost gets his head shaves by Anderson, Spud, & Mandrews, but Tyrus is able to save him. EC3 escapes but Tyrus ends up getting taken out and they shave his head. He only had a semi-small mohawk, so it didn’t require much work. Afterwards Spud grabs the mic and says that Tyrus was the first costumer at Rockstar Spud’s Barber Shop, and that EC3 is next. It really wasn’t a barber shop, more an assault in a wrestling ring where you just happened to shave Tyrus’s head. Afterwards Spud says “let the scalping begin” and starts a “scalp” chant like EC3 did before.

Not gonna lie, this is one of the worst EC3 segments I’ve seen. I liked the anger he showed early on, and I’m glad the crowd seems to be getting behind Spud, but I just have trouble getting into him as a face. And I’m really sick of Anderson. I liked him at one point, but I just haven’t been a fan the past few years. He just doesn’t seem to be putting the effort in that he could be, and he’s just a natural heel that I can’t get into as a face. So yeah, wasn’t a fan of this scene.

Backstage the BDC are hanging out, and MVP asks them all if they can stop Angle, and after they all give the answer of yes, he says the gauntlet shouldn’t be a problem tonight. But can any of them stop Crazy Steve?

After commercial, we see Mickie James arriving at the arena and says that she wasn’t there to hang out, and something about Magnus’s condition after he was attacked by Bram a few weeks ago. For those who don’t know, Mickie & Magnus have been in a relationship (not sure if they’re married or not) and had a kid together. I do like Mickie James and am glad to see her back, but I’m not sure I want to see her in the Magnus/Bram feud, especially since it’s barely even started between them yet.

Match #2 - Al Snow vs. Grado

Yeah, this match is happening. I understand that Grado seems to be popular in the UK, but I never saw him before last week, and I never saw British Boomcamp, so I just don’t care about this, and I’m sure a lot of the US fans feel the same way. I think this would have been better to have on Xplosion (which I’m pretty sure airs in the UK) and leave room on Impact for something else. Match was terrible. Al Snow sucks, and I can see why Grado didn’t win British Bootcamp. Grado wins after something. I just couldn’t get into this.

Winner via pinfall: Grado

After the match, Al Snow ends up raising Grado’s hand and they begin to celebrate. But BDC members Samoa Joe, Low Ki, & Kenny King run down and attack them for some reason. Seriously, why are they attacking them? A guy in a hood runs down to chase them off, and he’s revealed to be the debuting Drew Galloway. He got a nice reaction from the crowd, which was good for him. I know Galloway was with the WWE, but I’ve never seen him before, so I have no comments on him. I’m willing to give him a chance, but hopefully running off the BDC was just down to get a pop from the UK crowd. I really have no desire to see him immediately thrown into the main storyline in the company when I’ve never seen him before.

Match #3 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Angelina Love

There was a backstage scene where Robbie E takes an “usie” with the other Bro-Mans and Angelina Love. Angelina comes out with Robbie, Jessie, & Zema, and I realized Angelina is probably my favorite or 2nd favorite Knockout in the company just because she’s with them and we see the Bro-Mans with her. I don’t know what it is about them, but I just like that group.

Now, what’s Angelina done to deserve a Knockouts title match? The match itself was short and not very good. Taryn wins after hitting something. Highlight was Zema’s announcing.

Winner via pinfall: Taryn Terrell

After the match the lights go out and Awesome Kong appears in the ring. She got out there pretty fast, not sure how. She & Taryn stare down for a moment before they begin brawling, and Kong ends up taking her out. Afterwards Gail Kim (looking really good in an all-black outfit) runs out and she stares Kong down. Kong picks up the Knockouts title belt, but throws it back down on Taryn and leaves as Gail continues staring. I assume they’re building towards Kong vs. Gail? I like Gail and know they had great matches 7 years ago, but just because it worked then doesn’t mean it’ll work now. I really have no desire to see that match again.

Taz & Matthews are shown talking, and they mention that Low Ki got involved in some situation and it backfired, leading to him getting hurt. They showed a pic, and it’s hard to explain. He got a massive cut on the back of his head, and they mentioned it’ll require something like 20 or 25 stitches. Looked pretty brutal, hope Low Ki is doing alright.

Video package showing EC3, Zema, Robbie E, MVP, Low Ki, & Joe hyping up the gauntlet & themselves. Not much to say really, but I liked seeing EC3, Zema, & Robbie E get focus like that, bro.

Tommy Dreamer (ugh) comes out and says that last time he was in the ring, he was dropped on his head and his neck got jacked. Except he wasn’t in this ring, he was in a different ring back in one of the New York shows. He then says he came to fight, and tells Eric Young to get out there now. EY’s music hits, but he doesn’t come out. After he tries again and it doesn’t work, Dreamer goes backstage and starts searching for him. He asks two guys where he is, they say they don’t know, and EY comes up and attacks him from behind. They didn’t see Young coming up behind Dreamer? Would have been funny if one had said, “I don’t know, but there’s a bearded follow behind you.” They end up fighting back out to the ring, and the bell rings to start a street fight between the two.

Match #4 - Street Fight: Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer

Tommy Dreamer apparently made this match happen. When did he get the authority to book matches? This wasn’t announced prior or anything, they just brawled to the ring and the bell was rung for a match. This had some cool spots in it, but I just couldn’t get into it. It’s not that anything was wrong with it, I just really have a problem anymore getting into hardcore wrestling. And the confusing set-up for this match didn’t help. Eric Young wins after a piledriver, and this one was actually hit pretty well. Made Young look good and half-insane, so I guess it did its job.

Winner via pinfall: Eric Young

Backstage Mickie James is walking backstage, and Matthews reminds us that he has some business in Gasglow and asks what’s on her mind. She already said she was here about Magnus. Do you pay attention to anything on the show beyond what’s going on that specific moment Matthews?

After commercials, we see a video showing the Bram/Magnus storyline so far, going back to Feast or Fired. But they say Feast or Fired was last week when it was 4 weeks ago.

Mickie James comes out and the crowd is really quiet. Well, I’m happy at least. She gets a mic and thanks them, even though they were quiet when she came out. They get louder and welcome her back after she gets in the ring. She says that her heart is broken with the actions of Bram and how much has happened in the past year. She mentions she had a beautiful son and is engaged (to Magnus, but they never specifically say it’s him for some reason). But a few weeks ago, someone attacked her fiance who was supposed to be his best friend. She says that she knows Bram likes to think he’s a tough guy, but attacking someone from behind means he’s a coward. Bram comes out, with the cue ball he attacked Magnus with. Mickie says generic stuff about how could Bram do that, and Bram asks if she’s ready to shut up. Bram says some stuff about why he attacked Magnus, how the Magnus he knows now is a watered-down version. Magnus used to be a whiskey-drinking guy who could get any woman he wanted. Bram says he doesn’t know what Magnus sees in Mickie (is he blind & deaf?), and how Mickie ruined his life as he’s now stuck with a redneck and a dirty kid at home. Mickie slaps him, and Brams moves in closer and looks to be ready to attack her, but in typical TNA fashion, some referees run out to get Bram to back off and Bram ends up leaving.

Now I’m gonna be honest, I was disappointed with that scene. I like Mickie and know she can cut good promos, but that wasn’t it. Bram is great, but he didn’t seem to be in full Bram-mode tonight. I guess they thought him screaming at a women would look bad? I would have liked it. Regardless, I just hope Magnus returns soon and we can have them interacting.

Backstage Lashley & Angle are talking backstage. Lashley says that he’s the world champ, and Angle says that he respects everything Lashley’s done, but he’s never been in the ring with him before, and he’s beaten everyone he’s been in the ring with. He says tonight he wins the gauntlet, and Lashley says that if that’s what he believes, he’ll stay out of his way and watch him do it. It felt like the writers of the show realized when they were done that Angle & Lashley weren’t featured outside the main event, so they threw this scene & the opening together at the last moment just to get them on the show earlier.

Match #5 - 20-Man Gauntlet match for #1 contendership for World title

Rules to this are that 2 guys start off, and a new one comes out every 60 seconds. Have to be thrown over the top rope to be eliminated. I’m not quite sure the best way to talk about a battle royal, so I’m just gonna go over the list of everyone who entered and the order, and the order of elimination and who they were eliminated by until we get down to the final few, which I feel it’d be better to just describe it.

  1. Kenny King
  2. Austin Aries
  3. Crazy Steve
  4. Jesse Godderz
  5. Bram
  6. Koya
  7. Chris Melendez
  8. Mr. Anderson
  9. Samuel Shaw
  10. DJ Z/Zema Ion
  11. The Great Sanada
  12. Tyrus
  13. Rockstar Spud
  14. Robbie E
  15. Gunner
  16. Ethan Carter III
  17. Samoa Joe
  18. Low Ki
  19. MVP
  20. Kurt Angle

Some notable things that happened included EC3 immediately going after Anderson, which I liked and thought made sense. Tyrus goes on a huge elimination streak until getting sprayed with mist by Sanada and he gets thrown out. While I don’t think Tyrus is the best guy to make look good, I will say I like seeing stuff like that done in a battle royal. Not sure why, just do.

Low Ki brings down the X-Division belt and throws it in the corner, which confused me at first, but I called that some shenanigans were gonna occur from it. Didn’t happen though, so why did be bring it down? Also, Low Ki has grown some hair now, and it really throws me off. Not saying it looks bad, I’m just not used to it.

Anyway, eliminated order was:

  1. Crazy Steve (by Koya)
  2. Chris Melendez (by Bram)
  3. Samuel Shaw (by Tyrus)
  4. Jesse Godderz (by Tryus)
  5. DJ Z/Zema Ion (by Tyrus)
  6. Rockstar Spud (by Tyrus)
  7. Koya (by Tyrus)
  8. The Great Sanada (by Mr. Anderson)
  9. Tyrus (by Mr. Anderson)
  10. Robbie E (by Austin Aries)
  11. Bram (by Gunner)
  12. Ethan Carter III (by Mr. Anderson)
  13. Mr. Anderson (by Samoa Joe)
  14. Gunner (by MVP)
  15. Austin Aries (by MVP)

At this point we’re down to all the BDC members (MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe, & Low Ki) and Kurt Angle. For some reason the BDC just decides to beat him up instead of trying to eliminate him. Angle ends up eliminating Ki, Joe, & King, leaving just Angle & MVP. While I personally wanted someone else to win, they are the two most logical guys to win based on the storyline so far. Goes back and forth between the two until Kenny King grabs Angle’s leg and gets him eliminated. And Taz mentioned shenanigans! That’s my thing!

Battle royals never give amazing technical wrestling or anything, but I’ve always found them entertaining when handled right. I felt this one was handled pretty well. Booking made sense, some people who should look strong did look strong, and I liked that MVP won. I might not be his biggest fan, but it seemed obvious by the end that Angle would win and they gave something a bit more unpredictable that makes sense with the story. So not something amazing, but I found it entertaining.

Winner via trickery (since Taz stole my shenanigans thing) & #1 contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: MVP

Overall Impressions:

Tonight’s episode of Impact was basically the same as last week in that it was just okay. There was nothing too terrible here (outside of Grado/Snow I guess), but there wasn’t anything great either. The 6-man tag was alright and I liked the battle royal, but not much stands out in the way of matches. Promos really didn’t stand out either. I am interested in where some things go, like the Magnus/Bram storyline (hope Magnus comes back soon) or what Drew Galloway can do, but overall I really didn’t think this episode was that great. Again, it wasn’t bad, but not that great either. Still, I’ve seen far worse from TNA, and the booking tonight was generally logical, so I can’t complain too much. I will say I’m not that interested in the title match next week between Lashley & MVP, which really isn’t good for TNA.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you guys thought of tonight’s show or the review in the comments. And I will see you guys next time.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 2/13/15

What’s up guys? I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the February 13, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. This is TNA’s first night from the UK This year, so how would it turn out? Let’s start the review and find out.

Also, did you guys know that Jeff Hardy took a big bump on the steps last week?

No Caption Provided

Shows opens with The Beat Down Clan & Eric Young arriving, and they now have matching BDC jumpsuits. Not the best looking things in the world, but I like that they look like a stable now. EY isn’t listening to MVP talk and isn’t wearing BDC gear though. Will they make up their mind whether he’s BDC or not?

Before I begin talking about the show itself, I want to talk about the arena. It looked so much better than New York. While there was some blackness towards the back of the arena, it was bright in the majority of the arena and wasn’t distracting like in NY. The crowd seemed really into the show and fired up, which was great and added a lot to the show. And they also had one of those big screens out above the entrance ramp, which helped make it look better and more professional. This is the kind of set up I want to see from TNA, and I hope we still get similar looks once the UK tour is over.

Show opens with Kurt Angle coming out and some highlights of Lethal Lockdown last week. Angle thanks Austin Aries & Gunner for joining him for Lethal Lockdown last week. Angle says that the BDC wants to control the world title, but the world title should be controlled by the greatest wrestler in the world. But since CM Punk retired, he calls out Lashley. Angle tells Lashley that as long as he has the world title, he’s a target for the BDC and thanks him for joining Lethal Lockdown last week. Some stuff is said, and Angle says that he wants what everyone else wants: Angle vs. Lashley for the most prestigious title in wrestling. I don’t want that.

The BDC (without Eric Young) interrupts with some new entrance music. MVP talks about Lashley’s win over him last week didn’t happen and should be stricken from the record since Lashley wasn’t officially part of Team Angle and wasn’t advertised, thus it wasn’t official. Since MVP’s logic makes no sense, he then says that he wants to know which of them wanted to catch the “@ss-whoppin” and some generic stuff like that, and Lashley eventually agrees to face two of them that night in a tag match with his partner Kurt Angle. This wasn’t a great opening segment, but it set up the main event and wasn’t too bad, so I don’t have much to complain about.

We see another replay of Jeff Hardy’s bump from last week. We also hear that Austin Aries and Bobby Roode are gonna be having a match... for some reason. We have a backstage scene with Aries & Roode and they talk about how they have history in the UK tour, winning the tag titles two years ago & fighting on the same Lethal Lockdown team last year, but aren’t on the same team tonight. Okay little scene to hype up their match that has no reason to happen.

After commercial we see a recap of Tyrus beating Rockstar Spud & Mandrews last week, and Jeremy Borash cutting the razor. We then hear Ethan Carter III backstage, says he wants to shave Spud’ head, and ends up making a challenge for EC3 & Tyrus in a handicapped match against Spud, Mandrews, & Borash tonight. That’s happening tonight, which could be cool I guess.

Match #1 - Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

Matthews says something about a gauntlet next week, and the top 5 contenders for the world title thing. That’s something they do on Impact Wrestling: Unlocked and sometimes like to acknowledge it on Impact. It’s a #1 contender gauntlet for the world title, with the Top 5 being the final 5 entrants in that match while the first 15 are randomized. If Roode wins this match, he gets the #20 spot in that, but Aries gets that spot if he wins. I guess that’s why this match is happening? Would have been nice to hear something about it before though. Random question though: What’s the point in the Top 5 when they’re doing stuff like this gauntlet next week? The Top 5 are in it, but so are 15 guys who aren’t in the Top 5. Someone like Zema Ion, who’s done nothing to get in the Top 5, could end up winning and make the whole thing pointless.

Anyway, the match itself was actually pretty good and something I’d recommend watching. Definitely my match of the night. Not as good as their match from Destination X 2012, but I don’t think they’ll ever be able to top that. Roode wins after Aries taps out to the crossface. Upset not to see Aries win, but I’m fine with how it turned out.

Winner via submission: Bobby Roode

After the match, Roode grabs the mic and says that was pro wrestling, and Aries is one of the finest people he’s ever been in the ring with. He then says that now that he’s proven he can beat one of the best in the world, it’s time for him to get the world title back! That sounded pretty heelish. Roode says that Lashley has his hands full with the BDC, but Roode/Lashley 3 never happened. Except it did back in October, they don’t like to acknowledge the 2009 match they had. And Roode/Lashley 4 did happen last month, it just ended in shenanigans. Roode says he deserves a rematch and will get the title back. Eric Young then comes from behind and attacks him, and sets up a pile driver, but Roode’s head never hit the mat. Generic promo, but I expect nothing else from Roode nowadays. Would have preferred for the match to go a few minutes longer.

After commercial Roode is being helped out by referees, but Young attacks him again and sets up the pile driver on the entrance ramp, but again Roode’s head doesn’t hit anything. They need to change his finisher if he’s not going to actually hit it. It’d be funny if the rest of the show was just Roode trying to get up and EY attacking him.

Al Snow is out afterwards for no reason. He says generic stuff about his past, and how he’s trained some of the best this sport has had. He calls out some guy whose name I forgot, and he’s from British Bootcamp 2 apparently. Snow has no respect for him, but the guy grabs the mic and says some generic stuff to get a pop from the crowd. Snow takes the mic again, makes a comment about his family being in the crowd, and goes out to say stuff about his mother. His mother slaps him, and the guy tries to attack him. Snow then walks away and says that they’ll have a match next week and if the guy wins, Snow will shake his hand. I think his name was Grado. I really don’t care about any of this and would prefer not to see it, but I understand they want to put some hometown guys out there to get some pops from the ground. But still, I’d rather see some promos from better mic guys, or matches like Aries/Roode going on longer.

Another replay of Jeff Hardy’s bump last week.

Match #2 - Crazzy Steve vs. Bram

Taz & Matthews talks about Bram attacking Magnus in a bar (or “drinking establishment” as Taz puts it) two weeks ago. I skipped reviewing that Impact due to being sick, but there was a segment where Magnus tried to make peace with Bram in a bar, but Bram attacked him, basically splitting them up and starting a feud between them.

During the match, Bram grabs a mic and begins calling out Magnus while beating up Steve. Steve gets a moment of offense in, but Bram gets control again and wins the match. He tells Magnus to find him, and drops the mic. Not a good match, but it wasn’t designed to be. Great to see Bram looking strong.

Winner via pinfall: Bram

Backstage Borash is with Mandrews and says that he isn’t a wrestling and doesn’t want to get is @ss kicked again, but Spud tells him that EC3 shaved his head and it doesn’t matter that he’s not a wrestler. Spud says he has some backup, which leads to Borash being okay with it.

Backstage we have Angle & Gunner. Gunner says that Angle woke him up last week and thanks him for having faith in him, but asks if teaming with Lashley is a good idea. Angle says that he’s gonna face and beat Lashley sooner rather than later, and he wants him at his best. He also said something about Gunner having his back if the BDC gets out of control. He didn’t answer Gunner’s question, but okay.

Match #3 - Ethan Carter III & Tyrus vs. Rockstar Spud, Mandrews, & Jeremy Borash

I meant to talk about this last week and forgot, but Mandrews is one of the worst names I’ve ever heard. If they feel Mark Andrews isn’t a good enough name then fine, but they couldn’t come up with anything better to do than combine his first & last name?

This match wasn’t great, but wasn’t really supposed to look that good. Highlight was Borash jumping off the top rope to hit Tyrus outside the ring. EC3 pins Spud after the One Percenter.

Winner via pinfall: Ethan Carter III & Tryus

Afterwards EC3 goes to shave Spud’s head, but the lights go out. This time it isn’t Awesome Kong coming out, it’s Mr. Anderson. They look confused until looking at Anderson, Anderson pokes Tyrus in the eyes, and starts beating on EC3 until he gets out of the ring. So I guess Mr. Anderson is in this feud now... for some reason. It does at least give EC3 a more credible name to go over, but they can’t have a real match with his current injury, so I’m not sure what their plan is.

Backstage Gunner talks about how close he was to winning the world title last year (in what I felt was a pretty great match against Magnus), before Kenny King comes in to say that if he keeps saying “BDC,” they’ll be likely to show up. Low Ki then jumps him and he & Kenny start beating him up. As they walk away, Kenny starts playing taps, which was awesome. Kenny King is awesome, has the talent & mic skill of a main eventer, and just seems to carry himself like one. When is TNA gonna realize this and push him?

Madison Rayne comes out and begins saying generic stuff about her title reigns and how great she is. Is it Opposite Day? We keep hearing the slight opening bit of Kong’s entrance music which Madison complains about, and keeps trying to talk until Kong’s full music hits and she comes out. They really screwed that up. They should have just let Madison cut her promo, until towards the end when Kong’s music hits for the first time and she comes out. This way was just stupid.

Match #4 - Madison Rayne vs. Awesome Kong

If this was an official match, why did Madison seem surprised by Kong coming out? That doesn’t make any sense. Anyway, this was another squash match. Kong wins after a move and I don’t care. I know I say this every week, but TNA: PLEASE bring back Alissa Flash for me to care about the Knockouts.

Winner via Whatever: Awesome Kong

Backstage Aries is sitting down and Angle says he’s in his seat. Aries gets up and talks about how everyone is gunning for the world title, and if Angle gets it, there’s gonna be a bullseye on him. Angle says he likes the bullseye because a champion always rises to the challenge, and Aries says he knows because he’s been world champ before and will be again. Maybe this is setting up an Angle/Aries match in case Angle gets the title at some point? Or it’ll just be forgotten about and never mentioned again. Or both.

We see a video showing Jeff Hardy’s bump last week again, and Matt Hardy comes out to address the situation. He says some generic stuff to try to make him look good and put over this injury. Why do they need to do this? Jeff f*cked everything up himself with his drug problems which is why he can’t come to the UK, and I’m sick of trying to make him look good every year when he doesn’t deserve it. Matt says more bullsh*t, until The Revolution’s music hits to shut him up, thankfully.

James Storm comes out in an awesome vest, and the rest of the Revolution is wearing mostly black and looks really good. Storm says that he did what Edge & Christian, Team 3D, Kurt Angle, Sting, & The Undertaker couldn’t do and take out Jeff Hardy. He says that heroes don’t exist without villains, and that in his storybook, heroes never win. Storm offers Matt the chance to either join the Revolution, or they’ll set him up with a hospital bed with Jeff Hardy. Matt cheap shots him, and The Revolution begins beating him up. Storm says something about the eye for an eye & tooth for a tooth saying, and says they just take their heart. The Wolves run out to save them, and run the Revolution off. Storm made this entire segment enjoyable, so thank you Storm. You took something I was going to hate and turned it into something I enjoyed watching.

Backstage someone asks Austin Aries for a time frame when he’s gonna cash in his Feast or Fired case. Aries says that he’d love to reveal that to this guy right here and now, and it’s half-passed a monkey’s @ss and a monkey’s balls. He then says that if you ask a stupid question you get a stupid answer. Kenny King then comes in and begins to talk about him, and Aries tricks him into looking up and sucker punches him. Low Ki runs out and tries to attack Aries, but Aries starts beating him him. Samoa Joe & MVP come in and start beating on Aries, King & Ki get back up and join in, and they throw him out the door and throw his briefcase with him. They then close the door, and Matthews says that this was so they won’t have to worry about Aries cashing in the case tonight. First off, why does it matter to them? With how Lashley’s been booked, I’d think they have a better chance of winning the belt from Aries than Lashley. Secondly, all they did was do an unimpressive beat down he should be able to get up from in a minute and shut a door on him. The worst thing that could happen here is the door automatically locking Aries out, as then all he’d have to do is walk to the main entrance and he’s back inside.

Match #5 - Kurt Angle & Lashley vs. Samoa Joe & MVP

Kenny King & Low Ki are at ringside, so I expect some shenanigans in this match. And I was right, as we got little moments of interference all throughout the match. This was a solid match. Nothing amazing, but not bad by any means. Finish comes when Angle goes for the Ankle Lock on Joe, but Joe throws him towards Lashley’s direction. Lashley sidesteps to avoid them hitting each other, but MVP does a quick roll-up and gets the win. Lashley’s shoulder was actually up at two, but no one acknowledged it, so I assume it was unintentional. Angle & Lashley argue afterwards. Like I said, this was a solid match, but nothing amazing.

Winner via referee’s eyesight: MVP & Lashley

Overall Impression:

This was a solid episode of Impact. Not the best I’ve ever seen, but it had some good and enjoyable moments. Were a few stupid things, but for the most part the show was logically-booked and made sense. Not much in the way of in-ring action outside of Aries/Roode and the main event (to a lesser extent), but it did progress some storylines. Kenny King was also awesome (did I mention that I like him?). So, in short, this Impact wasn’t the best I’ve seen but still entertained me when watching it, which is all I really want from wrestling. That does it for this week’s review and I will see you guys later.

Also, did you guys know Jeff Hardy took a bump on last week’s show and is injured?