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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 6/17/15

Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the June 27, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. I know I’m a week late on this, but I wasn’t feeling up to writing a review last week and was busy for the next several days after. But I had time today, and what better way to celebrate my birthday then by re-watching and reviewing Impact? Hanging out with friends I guess, but for a loser who has none like me, was there a better way? Well clearly there was since I spent the day watching The Dark Knight Trilogy and waited until today to write it. Anyway, let’s get started.

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Show opens with a tribute video for Dusty Rhodes, who passed away over a week ago. I thought this was a nice touch. R.I.P. Dusty.

Show opens with Mike Tenay in the ring with a contract for the contract signing, and calls out the #1 contender Ethan Carter III and his opponent TNA World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle. Tenay says that before the signing he’d like to get pre-match comments from the champion, but EC3 interrupts and says he’ll take this. EC3 begins saying that since he first walked backwards down that ramp he was waiting for this moment, being face to face with the best in the world. He says Kurt’s the best because he’s beaten the best, then goes on about how Kurt has defeated Heart Break Kids, Texas Rattlesnakes, Nature Boys, Superstars who were Rated R, etc. Just listing the nicknames to various guys Kurt’s beaten I guess. He then goes in to how Kurt’s beaten immortals and even people Kurt can’t see. He then starts listing TNA guys by saying he’s beaten Submission Machines, Charismatic Enigmas, Phenomenal Ones, Icons, and Kings of Mountains. EC3 then asks what they all have in common, then says they’ve all been beaten while he hasn’t, then says Kurt can’t beat him. He then kinda rambles about saying what he is to Kurt that basically boils down to him saying he’ll beat Kurt and end his reign. One would think he could just say that. He then says that the title belt is actually a big red, flaming torch that will be passed to EC3.

EC3 then signs the contract, and Kurt takes the mic and asks Mike how many of these he’s been to. Kurt says that’s what important: That he’s been here before and that the big matches were made for Kurt Angle, somehow. He then says that EC3 is talented (I would have said he’s very good, but maybe that’s just me). Kurt says that since EC3 is undefeated, he (EC3) thinks he (EC3) should be champion, and it comes off in a way that makes it seem like that’s an issue. If he’s undefeated, why shouldn’t he be champion, or at least get a title match? Kurt says “You have no idea, kid”. He then starts listing the guys EC3‘s beaten like Bully Ray & Sting, and EC3 points out he also beat Kurt. Kurt says that was in the past, and Kurt says that he still believes in his heart that he’s the greatest wrestler in the world today. Well, as a wise man once said, “It’s not a lie, if you believe it”. Kurt then asks EC3 what happens when he loses, and says EC3 is gonna have to look at himself in a mirror and it’s gonna haunt him for the rest of his life before wishing him luck and signing the contract. EC3 might not have cut his best promo ever, but he sounded so much better and nowhere near as lame as Kurt did here.

Mike Tenay says the match is now official, but they have both agreed to have matches over the next two weeks where they will pick the other’s opponent. Kurt takes the mic and says that he’s picked EC3‘s opponent, and after dragging it on longer than he should have, it’s revealed to be Lashley. Not surprising, but kind of a boring choice. Lashley’s music hits and he comes out on the ramp, but I’m not sure why since the match isn’t until later and Lashley did nothing here but flex and point at EC3.

Something I want to point out in this scene is that the announcers briefly mention that the title match is 14 days away, meaning it’s on the July 1 Impact. The question you probably have now is ,“Why are they this match then when there’s a PPV on June 28?” That would be a very good question. My understanding is that this match was originally set for Slammiversary and the segment mentioned that the match was only 9 days away, but they changed it after the tapings for it to be on July 1 instead. This might be them trying to pop a rating since this is the biggest match they can put on right now, but I don’t think it is. I think Destination America moving the show from Friday to Wednesday did this, as it caused them to have to change their taping schedule where everything is before Slammiversary, and I guess they didn’t want to have either guy with the title during the tapings before anyone saw the PPV? The solution I would have is to tape multiple outcomes for the match, but I guess they didn’t want to do that. This is just a guess from me though; I have no idea the reasoning for this, but whatever it is I find it ridiculous that the match is not at Slammiversary.

Video is shown recapping the Wolves/Dirty Heels Best of 5 series so far. I’ve liked the series so far, and this was a nice video, but I’m not sure what the pint is right now.

The Wolves’s music hits and they come out. Davey gets the mic and says something about the “Wolves Nation” and the crowd chanting “Wolves” for them. There is no Wolves Nation! Stop it! Even Eddie never brings it up! Davey says more stuff about him & Eddie always being together, whether it was in a Dojo in Tokyo or the worst arenas in the world in Mexico, and he just goes on until saying something about holding the TNA World Tag Team titles meaning you’re the best in the world. Davey then goes on about them putting The BroMans, The Hardys, & Team 3D in front of them and beating them. No mention of The Revolution for some reason. Davey then gets to the Dirty Heels, mentioning that they weren’t looking for the easy way out in the series and they wanted to see who was the best wrestling tag team in the world. It just goes on and one like this and is just boring. I mean no exaggeration when I say I’ve seen potatoes more interesting. I like The Wolves, but on the mic they’re just...

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It essentially boils down to them bringing up Aries & Roode cheating to beat them a few weeks ago, and calling them out for Match #4.

The Dirty Heels’s music hits, and Bobby Roode comes out. Roode asks them if they think they’re calling the shots, and says that Austin Aries had a “Match of the Year” last week against Kurt Angle. Did Roode watch a different show than me? Roode says that Aries isn’t medically cleared to wrestle, and that since Aries & Roode are former World Champions, that they call the shots. Eddie then says sh*t that makes me want Davey talking again, and Eddie challenges Roode to a match against either Davey or Eddie. Roode asks “The IT Factor against one of the Wolves, right here right now?” and begins repeating “Right here right now” and getting the crowd to get excited before yelling, “No!”. That got me to chuckle. Roode then takes a moment says says he will agree to a match under the stipulation that the winner gets to choose the stipulation for Match #4 in the series. Eddie then decides he’s gonna face Roode since Roode hit him with a chair weeks ago. Wolves are boring, but Roode was entertaining in this scene. Looks like he’s getting some personality back after it was taken from him during his face turn last year.

Match #1 - Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards

Not much to say about this match. It was pretty good though. Nothing amazing, but it was a good & enjoyable match. There was a point that shows Josh Matthews doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about. I understand TNA doesn’t acknowledge when they used NWA titles, thus call Roode the longest reigning world champion in company history, but Josh called him a five-time World Tag Team Champion, even though he’s a 7-time world tag team champion. Would it have been that hard to say “seven-time” or “TNA World Tag Team Champion”? This is why we need Mike Tenay back.

Match itself though, as I said before, was pretty good. Finish comes when Roode spits in Davey’s face and Davey tries to get in, causing the referee to become distracted and hold him back. Roode then signals for Austin Aries to come running down with a chair. Yeah, cause no one called that or anything. Aries hands Roode the chair, but just before he hits Eddie with it, Davey grabs the chair which allows Eddie to get a roll-up and get the win. Again, good match.

Winner via pinfall: Eddie Edwards

After the match, Davey gets the mic and says this has gone on long enough, so the next match in the series is Full Metal Mayhem match. I was worried about 5 matches between these teams getting boring after a while, but adding that gimmick should stop that from happening. It seems weird though that they’re going Full Metal Mayhem for the fourth match instead of last. I suppose the series could end with the next match, but I wouldn’t think it will. Still, looking forward to it.

They show a hype video for Lashley, and it makes a comment about him “always being a spear away from regaining the championship”. What if he’s not in a title match though? How does that comment make sense?

Backstage Jeremy Borash is shown saying he’s supposed to talk to Bram’s opponent tonight, but no one’s there, but then Joseph Park shows up. He says some irrelevant sh*t and we find out he’s Bram opponent tonight. I wasn’t regularly watching during Joseph Park’s time, but my understanding is that he was Abyss’s lawyer brother who became a wrestler, and it was later revealed that Abyss & Joseph were the same person (in a split personality thing) and Joseph disappeared after Abyss made is once-every-few-months heel turn. So why is he back now out of nowhere? Could they really not pay Sonjay Dutt, Devon, Hernandez, or any former random mid-carder to show up to face Bram?

A video with Drew Galloway is shown and basically promotes the #ShowYourImpact thing on Twitter. Thankfully this is all we saw with him this week.

Match #2 - Bram vs. Joseph Park

Joseph gets on the mic before and starts saying things to Bram, but Bram just goes after him while he’s talking. Made me chuckle.

So apparently Bram facing old members of the Impact roster is gonna be a regular thing right now, which makes me think Crimson’s return last week was a one-time thing. I could be wrong, but it’s just what it looks like.

Some weapons like a chair & table get involved, but why? This was never advertised as a no DQ match or anything. It’s later said that Bram has asked that all these matches are competed under no DQ rules (isn’t that just ripping off what Raven did back in 1997?). Would it have hurt them to announce it as no DQ then?

Also, Matthews makes a comment about Joseph Park trending Worldwide on Twitter, but the commentary was taped before the show aired, so how would Josh know that? It seem stupid of him to say stuff like that.

As for the match itself... meh. Not much to say really. Wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t too impressed either. Bram wins after spearing Joseph through a table.

Winner via pinfall: Bram

Backstage(?) scene where Taryn Terrell is in Dollhouse Headquarters. Their entrance music (I think called Doll Parts) is playing in the background like always. Do they just sit there all day listening to that song on repeat? Taryn says that both Brooke & Awesome Kong want a shot at her Knockouts title and she wants them out of her life, so she set up a stipulation for the upcoming tag team match that if Kong & Brooke win than they got a shot at her Knockouts title, but if they lose they’ll never be able to challenge for it EVER AGAIN! That’s how she delivered it, so I wrote it like that to show how stupid it was watching it. Why would Taryn agree to this stipulation? The Dollhouse seems to be afraid of Kong and consider her a threat, and Brooke is the only person to beat a member of the Dollhouse so far, so why give them the chance to fight for the title?

We then get a video package that just shows some random shots of fire, a candle, fingers putting it out, and someone in a hood and it says stuff like “The World is Burning” and “For the wicked, Playtime is over.” Not sure what that was. “Playtime is over” makes me think it has to do with someone debuting/returning to fight the Dollhouse, and “For the wicked” made me think of Winter, but I could also see it leading to a Havok return (assuming TNA wants her after the recent Twitter fiasco). But honestly it’s too early to really be looking into it too much, so I’ll just wait and see what happens.

Match #3 - The Dollhouse (Jade & Marti Belle) w/Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke & Awesome Kong

Can someone please explain the Dollhouse stable to me? I still haven’t figured why Taryn turned heel, what their gimmick is supposed to be or why they act this why, why Jade looks like she’s about to shot porn, why Marti sucks on a lolipop, or anything about this stable. Regardless of how much I sh*t on the Rising, that stable at least mostly makes sense.

As for the match... what do you expect me to say? Jade & Brooke are hot is the closest thing to positive I can say. Kong just isn’t what she used to be, the other 3 women just aren’t good, it was a Dollhouse match so Taryn got involved too much, it started off as a huge clusterf*ck outside the ring, went on way too long, and just overall wasn’t a good or entertaining match. And the finish was way too predictable due to the stipulation set up. Finish comes when Kong & Brooke do some double team move and pin Marti. Meaning Kong & Brooke get a title match in the future. Was anyone surprised? Does anyone care?

Winner via pinfall: Brooke & Awesome Kong

Video showing what’s happened with Eric Young & Chris Melendez is shown. Melendez then comes out, gets in the ring and gets a mic.

“That’s not gonna be good for ratings.”

“That’s not gonna be good for anyone.”

Gotta love Melendez’s shirt. It’s completely grey, and in plain black text says “Army” on the font. Most generic shirt I’ve ever seen. Melendez says that when Young took off his leg he disrespected the whole military or uniform or something like that, and says that he wants a fight with Young and will be here week after week (and repeats that several times), then calls out Eric Young. Young comes out and begins praising him as an American hero, until then actually continuing the feud by saying he doesn’t care. He then goes on about how that chapter of Melendez’s life is over, and he’s the new general in this chapter, he’s at the top of the mountain in wrestling, and just stuff like that. It’s so boring. They eventually agree to a match next week.

I give Melendez credit for trying here, but his promo work just isn’t that good. I’ve heard far worse, but he’s just completely boring. Young did his best, but doesn’t have great material to work with. I also find it a bit ridiculous that Young went from feuding with Kurt Angle for the World title to feuding with Chris Melendez. I heard someone in the crowd shout out “EC3!”. Highlight of this segment.

Match #4 - Jessie Godderz vs. DJ Z

Jessie has some new singles music that sounds awful.

I got a nice WCW-vibe from this when Josh was talking about Magnus & James Storm instead of what was going on in the ring.

The match was... meh. It was kinda a squash match that Jessie dominated. I really didn’t like that at all since I find Zema to be much more talented than Jessie. Jessie wins when Zema taps out to a Boston Crab.

Winner via submission: Jessie Godderz

Jessie gets the mic afterwards, and asks Zema if he thought that was a mistake. Jessie begins insulting Zema & the crowd and says he only felt like them when he was with the BroMans. He then goes on about how good & better he is than the other BroMans, and makes a comment that he’s got the looks. Sorry Jessie, but you’re nowhere near as good-looking as Zema (without his current stupid hair), or even Robbie. And even with Zema’s hair he looks better. He goes on this sh*t for a while longer and it’s just awful. I liked Jessie in the BroMans and thought he pulled off the character well, but this just doesn’t work well for him to me. He tries going after Zema more, but Robbie E comes out and starts going after Jessie. They brawl for a minute and Robbie chases him off.

Wasn’t a big fan of that scene. I’m still confused why they split up the BroMans since their act was pretty good to me, and TNA’s really short on tag teams right now. They have The Wolves, but the Hardys are out until Jeff is healthy again, Aries might be leaving (heard his contract expires just after Slammiversary), the Revolution aren’t really teaming in the tag division anymore, the BDC never do, Spud & Mandrews haven’t teamed up in a while, etc. So splitting up the BroMans when they have barely any teams just seems like a dumb move to me. But besides that, why is Zema getting buried? I always thought he was far more talented in-ring than Robbie or Jessie, and while it could be debated whether his mic skills were better than Robbie (I prefer Zema but can understand preferring Robbie), they’re far better than Jessie’s. I guess it’s to try and push Robbie & Jessie as singles stars, but why? Jessie I don’t see as more than a mid-card or tag team guy (maybe in the future he could be more, but for now I don’t see it), and Robbie possibly could but it seems unnecessary to push him now. Just a move I don’t like or understand, and them not giving much time to this story hasn’t helped things.

Magnus comes out and says he’s gonna start cracking heads left & right until James Storm gets out there and faces him. Who’s head is he gonna start cracking? He’s a face so it wouldn’t make any sense for him to go after anyone in the crowd or the crew around the ring or anything. After calling him out for a minute and threatening security, Storm comes out. As Storm says stuff about Magnus looking like the bad guy and taunting him, Magnus tries to run down the ramp but James Storm pulls out a stroller and says Magnus should be careful about who watches his kid, but says he would never put his hands on a child and this was just some insurance. As Storm continues to talk and taunt him, Magnus eventually gets through security and starts beating on Storm. Security pulls him off, but Magnus goes back after him until being pulled off again. As Magnus takes out security again, Storm pushes the stroller off the ramp and Magnus runs after it, only to find out it was just a doll as Storm runs away. Really sad when TNA is stealing ideas from Blade: Trinity.

The scene... meh. I’ve said from the beginning that Storm is the only thing holding this storyline together, and even he’s barely doing it at this point. I really just want this to be over already.

Match #5 - Ethan Carter III w/Tyrus vs. Lashley

I don’t have much to say about this. It was okay I guess. Lashley looked strong like they always book him to, and I guess EC3 looked good by being able to hang with him. Finish got kinda ridiculous though. Tyrus interfered and kept taking out referees, and it got stupid. Why did referees know that one had been taken out and they had to come out as a replacement, but they didn’t know EC3 should be disqualified? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to have the referee taken out, Tyrus’s shenanigans, then the ref can be revived and EC3 can win? Why over-complicate this and make it more stupid.

After a sh*tload of shenanigans, EC3 gets the win. I would complain this kinda made him look weak and Lashley too strong, but this might be to lead into some sort of EC3/Lashley angle if/when EC3 gets the title. If that’s what they’re doing, then I’m fine with this. If it’s not, then I have to ask: Why TNA? Why would you do this?

Winner via shenanigans: Ethan Carter III

Overall Impressions:

Might not have seemed it from the review, but I thought this was an alright show. Roode/Eddie was a good match and it forwarded some stories. Some stupid moments really dragged the show down though. I truly don’t have too much to say about this show though. I’ve seen far better, but I’ve seen far worse.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later (in a few hours probably).


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 6/10/15

Hey there everyone. This is TheCannon, and welcome to my review of the June 10, 2015 edition of TNA’s Impact Wrestling. Tonight is Destination X, because apparently Bell to Bell, Night of Knockouts, Tag Team Gold, Hardcore Justice, “Live” (not really), International Impact, & May Mayhem all happening over the past two months meant we didn’t have enough themed Impacts. How would tonight’s show go? Let’s start the review and find out.

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Show opens with a video package highlighting the X-Division and the matches for tonight, featuring Manik, Low Ki, Crazy Steve, Mark Andrews, Tigre Uno, DJ Z, Kenny King, Grado (for some reason), and Cruz? Who? When the show starts Matthews says that the first Destination X was just over 8 years ago. Technically that’s right, but the first Destination X was in March of 2005. So why not say it was just over 10 years ago? Even if Matthews doesn’t know correct information and no one wants to hell him, why doesn’t he just do a quick google search to get his comments accurate instead of making sh*t up like this? At least we got “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero again. He might not be a living encyclopedia like Mike Tenay, but at least he doesn’t make up stuff like Josh.

Christy Hemme is in the ring and says it’s time for the TNA World title match, but Ethan Carter III’s music hits and he & Tyrus come out. EC3 says that he’s the #1 contender and that there’s 2 title matches tonight, and he’s not in them. He says he’s worked tirelessly to become #1 contender and he’s having a sit down protest. He asks for a chair and says Destination X is canceled. Kurt Angle comes out after a minute and starts off calm when saying, “Ethan”, before getting angry and loud by saying something like, “GET THE HELL OUT OF THE DAMN RING!” (I don’t remember the exact working, sorry). I found it funny how Angle’s tone just completely changed. They argue for a moment and EC3 threatens to end Kurt’s career, and Angle asks him to. Just give him a good hard slap Ethan; that’s all it’ll take in his current state. Kurt then threatens to break EC3‘s ankle or something lame like that, and EC3 just walks away as Spud makes his entrance for his title match.

Match #1 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Rockstar Spud

It was while watching this match that I realized how sad it is that the first year it happened is still the year Option C gave us the best match, storyline, and was simply done the best.

Anyway, the match was okay. Considering who was involved I guess it was fine. It’s just about what I expected: a few nice moves from Spud, a lot of rest-holds for Kurt, and not much to say about the whole thing. Kurt wins after Spud taps out to the Ankle Lock. Not surprised by this at all. Did anyone really see Spud getting the title? I think they just used Spud for Option C since he’s the most over X-Division guy they have right now. Hopefully by next year they’ve built up Manik or someone like that.

Winner via submission and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

The Dollhouse’s music hits and they’re on the entrance ramp, and... oh god, Taryn Terrell has a microphone. What she said basically boiled down to her saying that if Awesome Kong wants a shot at the Knockouts title, then Kong has to face her in a lingerie pillow fight match and wear a lingerie thing that she has Marti Belle hold up. I don’t know what to day about this since I think it speaks for itself.

Match #2 - Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Crazy Steve

I know I say this all the time, but the Revolution (including Manik) has probably the best entrance music in wrestling today. And Manik’s outfit is just fantastic.

So, serious question: Has Crazy Steve ever won a match in TNA? I never recall him winning one, and it seems weird that he keeps getting close to the X-Division title when he hasn’t won anything.

Anyway, the match was... eh. But it was rather short and featured Crazy Steve, so I’m not sure what I expected. Finish comes when Ki hits the Warrior’s Way on Manik. Not what I wanted, but I’m not surprised by the winner. I am surprised and confused by the fact Manik took the pin though. Seriously, why did Ki pin him instead of Steve?

Winner via pinfall: Low Ki

Grado is shown working out backstage, talks about how he has to prove he’s X-Division and how his mom says he’s X-Division, and shown trying to jump over some sort of crate and barely does it....

Did they need Grado? Would it really have been too difficult to bring back Sonjay Dutt for this one match instead of Grado? Or Matt Bentley? Or Amazing Red? Or Rubix? Or Shark Boy? Or f*cking anybody instead of Grado!?!?

Replay of James Storm trying to murder Mickie James last week is shown. I still can’t get over that a week later.

Match #3 - Mark Andrews vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno

None of these guys even get an entrance, they’re all in the ring and Tigre’s entrance is just over when the show cuts to this.

A random thought I had during this is that Zema really needs to pull his pants up.

This was an okay match. Had some decent spots, but again was a bit too short. But it was still alright. Finish comes when Zema is knocked out of the ring (damn; he was the guy I wanted to win this little tournament if Manik didn’t) and Tigre Uno pins Mark.... What? Tigre Uno won a match?

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He actually did. Holy sh*t. I never thought I'd see the day.


Also, great job TNA. I was going to praise you at the end about having a show without streamers like ROH had an obsession with doing, then you throw them for Tigre’s victory. But considering how big & rare winning a match is for him, I can understand it.

After the match, Jesse Godderz comes out and starts attacking DJ Z and basically beats the sh*t out of him. I would have more of a reaction to this, but I’m still in shock that Tigre actually won a match. I will ask why Robbie E doesn’t come out and stop this though.

Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse come out again. Why do they have that dollhouse & mirror thing on the ramp for their entrance? Why does Taryn have a bow in her hair? Why is there a bed in the ring and a weird light above it? Why does anyone allow Taryn to have a microphone while they’re taping? Why did Taryn turn heel to begin with? Why does nothing about the Dollhouse make sense?

Taryn gets in the ring ready for her pillow fight against Kong. She calls out Kong, who finally comes out after a minute not wearing the lingerie, and then she beats on Jade & Marti predictable. Taryn says that since Kong never showed up to fight then the title match doesn’t happen, and asks Hemme to declare her winner of the match, even though the match didn’t happen. Can Taryn make up her mind; either the match never happened or you won Taryn. You can’t have both.

Anyway, Kong just kinda disappears and Brooke comes out and she too has a microphone. She says stuff about a pillow fight dis-respecting the Knockouts division & title or some sh*t like that. This goes on for a good minute or two with the two talking while being unbearable (can we please pass a law that says Taryn Terrell can never be given a live microphone please?) and it eventually ends with Brooke tackling her onto the bed and starting to beat on her, eventually tearing off her purple robe (which I have to say looked great) and exposing Taryn’s lingerie, which Taryn appears embarrassed by and tries to cover up, even though it shows off about the same out of her that her normal ring gear does.

I’m just gonna pretend this never happened and move on...

Backstage scene where Grado is getting ready to get on a scale to see if he meets the weight limit for the X-Division. He keeps being nervous and keeps stripping more off himself before finally stepping on the scale, and he finally listens to Jeremy Borash telling him that there is no X-Division weight limit (not currently anyway; but he never brought up that there was one in the past) and is told his match is now, so Grado begins running to the ring.

Another thing I’m just gonna pretend never happened and moved on.

Match #4 - Kenny King vs. Crux vs. Grado

According to Matthews, we’ve seen Crux before on Impact Wrestling. Can someone please tell me when?

The match... meh. Crux did a few decent high-flying movies and Kenny was fine as always, but Grado isn’t that good and the match just didn’t have anything to stand out or memorable about it. Finish comes when Kenny is knocked outside, Grado hits his finisher in Crux, and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Grado

I am getting a lot of use out of that video tonight.

Can we please just erase the last 20 minutes or so from history? Please?

Backstage where Bram has taken out a cameraman and says something about hating Destination X and what a stupid name it is. Then just stands there and says more stuff before walking off. I like Bram, so this was a cool scene.

After commercial, Bram is in the ring and says there’s a lot of talk about the X-Division and how it’s the history of TNA, and how Slammiversary is supposed to celebrate the history of TNA. He then says he hates history, and he hates the past too. He then challenges any former TNA star and says that the past, present, & future will be re-written. You really can’t re-write the future, or the present for that matter since it’s currently being written, and I’m not sure how beating someone from the past would be re-writing the past. Anyway, Crimson’s music hits and he comes out to accept Bram’s challenge. I’m actually happy to see this, partly just because of how much I like Crimson’s theme. More on him in a moment.

Match #5 - Bram vs. Crimson

This was an alright match. More of a brawl than anything, but I still thought it was decent. My biggest issue was that Bram looked a little too dominant in it. Usually I wouldn’t mind that, but if Crimson is back full time, they probably should have made him look better than he did hear. Bram gets the win. Decent match and I’ve got no issues with Bram winning, but I wish Crimson had looked a bit better.

Winner via pinfall: Bram

Now, assuming Crimson’s return is full time, I’m actually happy about that. I always thought Crimson was decent in-ring and on the mic as a face, really good on the mic as a heel, and had a great look. The issue with him that he was being over-pushed way too hard when he first came in, and when they finally found a good role for him he looked comfortable in, they turned him into a jobber & took him off TV. I heard he improved greatly after being in OVW, but I never got to see anything after that, and he was released in sumer 2013 shortly after his return. If this is a full-time return, I’m happy and hope they do better with him this time around. If it was just a one-time appearance, then I guess it did its job of making Bram look good.

Backstage Kurt Angle says that tonight he already beat Rockstar Spud who proved he had a lot of heart, and now he has Austin Aries, and he guarantees it will be match of the year. Sure Kurt, you keep believing that. He then says that he will beat Aries tonight and that no one will ever beat him and take the title. He’s right you know; he’ll get injured and have to retire before anyone can beat him.

Backstage someone asks EC3 about something, and he says that Kurt wanted him to throw the first punch, but promises that when he does throw the first punch, he’ll end Kurt’s career.

Match #6 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Austin Aries

I could be wrong, but I believe this is the third ever meeting between the two, with both men having one win over the other. This is also the fourth year in a row Aries is somehow involved in Destination X’s main event and/or Option C, with him cashing in his Feast or Fired case for a title shot.

I’ve given this some thought during the past week, and I think I know why they did this. I’m not sure how true it is, but I’ve heard Aries’s contract expires shortly after Slammiversary. If this is the case, he might decide not to resign, or TNA might decide to let him go, meaning there’s a chance he could be gone. If this does happen, they need the case away from him, so this was just a quick way to get him to cash it in. I hope I’m wrong in this and he resigns, but this is just my guess of why they’re having him cash in in a stupid way like this.

This match actually wasn’t too bad. Much better than I expected anyway. Some nice stuff happened, Aries looked amazing as always, and Angle looked... alright, considering the circumstances. Though there was one stupid moment where Angle goes for the Ankle Lock while Aries is right near the ropes, Aries could clearly grab the ropes before Angle has it locked on correctly, but doesn’t for some reason. I guess they hoped no one would notice. Finish comes when Angle gets Aries to tap out to the Ankle Lock. Not a fan of Aries tapping, but fine match otherwise.

Winner via submission and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

After the match, EC3 runs out and attacks Kurt, taking him to the ground. He then picks up the World title belt and holds it up, and he looks fantastic with it. Just look at this:

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Just fantastic. He’ll be a great champ in the future (assuming TNA doesn’t f*ck it up like they usually do).

Overall Impressions:

This was an alright episode of Impact. Nothing great or memorable really, but nothing offensively bad outside those 20 minutes that never happened (what 20 minutes?). It looks like we’re finally moving into Angle/EC3 for the title, which I’m looking forward to. I’m also curious to see who the next X-Division champion is, though it’s really sad that I have to put all my hope in Tigre Uno. I’m really curious why Destination X happened this month though instead of July like it has the past few years. Seems like a pointless move. My best guess is that they needed something to delay EC3‘s title shot a few weeks, but I could be wrong there. Anyway, in short: Alright episode of Impact. Nothing great, but nothing too bad either.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of tonight’s show and/or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.


TheCannon Reviews: ROH Wrestling 6/10/15

Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, writing to myself about the June 10, 2015 edition of Ring of Honor Wrestling. I say writing to myself because literally no one responded to last week’s review at all, and I’m not sure the result will be different this week. But I still like writing reviews, so I did it anyway. Now, after last week’s unimpressive debut that was barely worth mentioning, how would they improve this week, if at all? Let’s start the review and kind out.

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Show opens with a promo from Christopher Daniels & Kazarian, who are apparently called The Addition, but I’m still calling them Bad Influence because it’s what I’m used to and sounds cooler. They basically say generic stuff hyping up their match for the tag titles later tonight against the Red Dragons. Did Daniels & Kaz leave all personality since leaving TNA? Also, this whole segment looked like it was filmed through a keyhole. Still better than last week’s thing with the Briscoes to open the show though.

Daniels & Kaz come out and start saying that Bobby Fish has been ruled medically unable to compete tonight. He says stuff about how their contracts was for Daniels & Kaz against Kyle O’Riley & Bobby Fish; not Kyle O’Riley & a suitable replacement. So Riley can either face them or forfeit their title match. Kyle O’Riley then comes out, takes off his shirt, and runs to the ring. Why’d he come out in the shirt if he was just gonna take it off? Riley then starts fighting with Bad Influence, and I thought it was originally a brawl, until a referee is there and the announcers start talking about Kyle facing Daniels & Kaz on there own.

Match #1 - ROH World Tag Team Championships: Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels & Kazarian) (c) vs. Kyle O’Riley???

I think this is a match. It’s never properly explained. They just start fighting and the announcers say Kyle is taking them on himself.

This match (since that’s what it was apparently) was... okay. Daniels & Kaz had some great double-team movies like always, and while I couldn’t judge Kyle’s skills very much, he looked strong in it. Kyle wins via DQ though when Daniels or Kaz (I forget who) grabbed a chair and hit him, causing a DQ. Again, it was okay. Progressed this story/feud a little bit I guess.

Winner via DQ: Kyle O’Riley

Mark Briscoe is backstage(?) giving a lot of incoherent nonsense I couldn’t understand. He was hyping up a match against someone at their next PPV. And I previously thought that Mark had a few of his teeth missing, but here it looks like they just coated some in something dark to make it look like they’re missing. Why the f*ck would you do that?

Match #2 - Dalton Castle vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

Liger is still around!?! It’s he about 50 at this point? I will admit he’s still in decent/good shape and still wrestles fine, but I’m just surprised.

Why is Castle wearing an Elvis-like suit? Why are people in weird mask & caps holding fans coming out with him? Why is he stepping on one of them when getting in the ring? I don’t understand this gimmick at all.

There was a point in the match where Liger called in Castle’s guys and poses with them. Why did Liger care, and why did they do that?

This match was honestly pretty decent. Nothing great, but it was much better than the matches from last week and probably the best match this week. Liger wins after a Brain Buster. Not much to say really.

Winner via pinfall: Jushin Thunder Liger

During the commercial break during the match was an ad for Impact focusing on EC3. Makes me wish I was watching that right now. Also, why do people b*tch when TNA goes to commercial during a match, but no one complains when ROH does it?

Backstage scene from earlier today where Liger goes up to someone who I don’t know and says some stuff, the other guy says stuff back, they slap and hug at one point. I couldn’t tell what they were saying though, partly because Liger is difficult to understand, and partly because they barely picked up the audio. This is a taped show, and they couldn’t do another take of that?

Match #3 - Brutal Bob Evans vs. Cheeseburger

I had a bad experience one time at Bob Evans, and I believe I got a cheeseburger at the time. So this match brings back some memories.

I can’t take a guy called Cheeseburger seriously. Maybe it’s just me.

The match was pretty uneventful and not very interesting or very good. Finish comes when Evans & Cheeseburger are sent through a table at ringside, and I think the referee ruled it a draw. Why was that table there to begin with? It wasn’t there earlier, so who put it there and why? It served no purpose other than for this spot.

Result: Draw

Match #4 - The Kingdom (Michael Bennett & Matt Taven)w/Maria Kanallis vs. The Bullet Club (Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson)

The Kingdom are wearing very bright green. Seems unnecessary, but with how bad the lighting is, I guess they do need to stand out.

I had an issue with writing this because I never caught Taven’s first name. I admit I wasn’t paying full attention, but the production is so bad that the ring announcer’s voice wasn’t picked up properly, so I didn’t hear it. I looked it up online to find his name, and it’s really sad when I have to do that.

Poor Gallows. From looking like a future star in WWE to an irrelevant guy in TNA’s Aces & Eights stable to this. Always thought he had more potential than this.

Finish comes when Gallows grabs some chairs to use and the referee calls for a DQ. Wait, what? They didn’t use the chairs yet, Gallows just grabbed 2 and that results in a DQ? Why? A chair was grabbed in that Kyle/Bad Influence match earlier and a move was performed with it (no one was hit with it, but it was used) and nothing happened there. So why here? Is ROH one of those companies that makes up rules when it benefits them?

Winners via DQ: The Kingdom

After the match, Gallows & Anderson go for some move on one of the Kingdom on the chairs, but Maria hops up on the apron and that gets them to stop for some reason. I’m not sure why. They then grab her and try to do the move on her, before one of the Kingdom members stops it. Then Maria gets out of the ring, and Gallows & Anderson hit the move on the Kingdom guy, making the distraction pointless. And what the hell is Maria wearing on her legs? I was going to question how getting on the apron stopped them, but they must have been wondering what she was wearing.

Overall Impressions:

This was an alright show. I wasn’t hugely impressed by it or anything, but it wasn’t bad and was MUCH better than last week’s show. Just an okay show overall. I still really don’t care about any of ROH’s stories or wrestlers (with the obvious exceptions of Bad Influence, even if they did lose their personalities, & Jay Lethal), but I’m still willing to give ROH a chance, so that’s good. But as for the show itself, as I said twice: Just okay. Not much to say honestly.

That’s it for the review, and I hope you enjoyed it. Or if this gets a response like the last one got, I hope you enjoy reading through this in the future Cannon. Let me know what you thought of the show and/or review in the comments, and the Impact review will be up shortly. I’ll see everyone then.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 6/3/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for the June 3, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. After ROH’s unimpressive debut, how would TNA do in comparison? We’ve got EC3‘s celebration for becoming #1 contender, so they already have a good shot of a great show. Let’s start the review and find out how they do.

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Show opens with an awesome video hyping up Ethan Carter III and building him up. Already better than the entirety of ROH.

Show actually opens with EC3‘s music beginning, until it stops. Lights then go on in the middle of the ring and a Barber Shop Quintet sining his theme as EC3 comes out. It also has the returning “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero on the announce table which is awesome. EC3 says that tonight is a night for America since tonight he is #1. The Quintet then begins singing “For he’s the #1 contender, which nobody can deny”. EC3 then asks for Tyrus to get over there and you can clearly see he’s happy and asks him if he wants to dance and asks people if they want to see Tyrus dance. EC3 then says that we won’t see him dance because this is serious business, and that he’s proven everyone wrong about how he only got this shot because of his last name and says stuff like that, until inviting Kurt Angle out to the ring so they can celebrate his final days as World Champion.

Angle comes out and says that this is a very impressive celebration, but some wrestlers from the 40s (didn’t remember their names) would be rolling around in their grave. Angle then says that EC3 isn’t next in line for a title shot, and EC3 shows the signs that say #1. Angle says that EC3 needs to not be concerned with a number but instead a letter, as Destination X is next week. Would have been nice to mention this before TNA. He says that the X-Division Champion, Rockstar Spud, has the option to cash in the title for a shot at the world title at DX. EC3 says that he left Spud beaten, bloodied, and bald. EC3 appears a bit frustrated but says that he knows what makes Spud tick and will give him an offer he can’t refuse. He then walks off, and asks the Barber Shop guys to say goodbye to Kurt, and they all start saying “Trouble” as they walk off, but Kurt hits the Angle Slam on the last guy.

That was an amazing opening scene. THAT is how you open a show, not two guys who look like Mountain Monster rejects saying nonsensical things. No one interrupted it, and it was just a great segment. Probably my favorite opening to Impact this year, as I can’t recall anything that comes close.

Match #1 - Lashley vs. Eric Young

Decent match. Nothing great or anything, but decent. Both guys looked pretty good, and it is my favorite Young/Lashley match so far. Lashley gets the win, which I can understand.

Winner via pinfall: Lashley

After the match, Chris Melendez runs down and tries to attack Young, but Young gets out of the ring while Lashley tries to hold off Melendez. I hope we’re not going for Young vs Melendez at Slammiversary, but I think we might be going that direction.

Backstage Rockstar Spud is arriving, and questions cashing in the X-Division title, saying generic stuff about him spending many years getting to the top & the title and he’s not sure if he’s gonna give it up tonight.

Another Dollhouse segment, Taryn is bragging about taking Gail out last week or something. They were playing the Dollhouse’s theme in the background to this, which I actually really liked.

Backstage Chris Melendez is there and says generic stuff about him being angry that Young looked surprised at him being out there, saying that after everything he’s been through and what Young did to him Young thought he wouldn’t come after him? This whole scene was meh. Listen Melendez, I can’t imagine what you went through in loosing your leg and I respect you for doing that while serving the country & such, but you really don’t belong on wrestling TV yet. You’re mic skills aren’t good, and your in-ring skill aren’t either.

Backstage (AGAIN) where Spud is sitting there and Austin Aries walks up, and starts talking to him, saying that he’s been there and it isn’t easy. He says he created Option C in 2012 because he didn’t want to just throw the title away, but is now looking and seeing that Option C might have been a mistake. Everyone has cashed in the title to fight for the World title, and says that Spud could do something different. Yep, because Austin Aries, Chris Sabin, & Austin Aries again cashed in the title, Option C might have been a mistake. Great logic Aries.

Match #2 - Jade w/Marti Belle vs. Brooke

Why does Jade wear that very short skirt to the ring? *Sees shot of her panties when she goes for a pin* Ah, that’s why.

This match actually wasn’t too bad. Not great, but it was alright. Better than the matches on ROH at least. Marti kept interfering a bit until Brooke eventually went after her, Jade accidentally kicked Marti, and Brooke was able to take out & pin Jade. Like I said, alright match surprisingly.

Winner via pinfall: Brooke

Backstage, Jeremy Borash is there asking EC3 what he thinks about Spud & Option C. EC3 says that Borash was there and knows that Spud deserves to be a champion, but that ends at the X-Division. He says that Spud is a good helping hand but EC3... I got interrupted and missed most of what he said, but he was basically hyping himself up. Tyrus then walks up and gives him a cell phone, and EC3 walks away and puts the phone to his ear.

Backstage Brooke walks up to Rebel and they begin celebrating Brooke’s win for a second. Apparently these two are good friends now? Brooke says that she’s gonna go take a shower then she & Rebel can talk more. As Brooke walks away, Jade & Marti walk up to her and begin beating down on her, eventually taking her out and putting one of those ball things in her mouth, then say “It’s playtime”. What do you mean by playtime? I could get it if you said it before beating her up, but doing it after than walking away doesn’t make much sense.

Match #3 - Beat Down Clan (MVP, Kenny King, & Low Ki) vs. The Rising (Drew Galloway, Eli Drake, & Mica)

First off, the BDC comes out in their masks again, and care carrying their flags. Now for some random thoughts during entrances:

How many times are we gonna see matches with these two stables fighting? Everyone’s sick of it by now.

I never realized it till now, but the Rising’s theme sounds like a really, really crappy version of the Batman Beyond theme.

Match... meh. Better than I expected, but still not good. I just don’t think any of the Rising are that good, and the fact we’ve seen this match or variations of it so much didn’t help this. Rising gets the win after Galloway pins Low Ki. This will mean absolutely nothing in the future of this feud.

Winners via pinfall: The Rising

Rockstar Spud comes out, and Borash asks him if he’s ready to make his decision. Spud says it’s tough and he needs more time, but is told this is the time. Kurt Angle comes out and says that he likes Spud, and wants him to know what he’s getting into if he cashes in. He then starts saying he’s Kurt Angle and starts listing his accomplishments. As Spud goes to say something, EC3‘s music hits and he comes out. EC3 kinda drags on a bit, but basically says he got off the phone with Aunt D and can offer Spud back his spot as Chief of Staff as long as he doesn’t cash in the title. Spud says that being Chief of Staff

Backstage Aries is talking to Bobby Roode and says that they’re 0-2 in the series so far and they’re close to getting sweeped which would be embarrassing. Aries says that this is because they haven’t been playing by their own rules or game or something like that, and throws Roode some sort of crumbled up cloth that’s clearly a shirt. Not sure why shirts will do.

James Storm & Mickie James are shown talking before Mickie’s meeting with the music guys Storm set up. To sum it up, Storm says that Storm wants to take care of Mickie and buy her gifts or something, which Magnus can’t do, and offers Mickie & Donovan a spot in the Revolution. Mickie doesn’t agree and Storm tries making it up and saying he was out of line & everything, and some nonsense. This was just an odd scene that’s hard to explain and not even Storm could save.

Match #4 - The Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries) vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

Aries & Roode come out in the most generic shirts I’ve ever seen. They’re completely gray and just have the Dirty Heels logo on them.

Really good match to me. I preferred their last match, but still good. Easily my favorite of the night. The finish to this match is also very interesting. After several near falls, Aries gets frustrated and goes outside the ring to grab a chair. He throws it in and Roode refuses to use it at first. Davey(?) then almost pins him with a roll-up, but Roode kicks out. Aries then gets up on the apron with one of the tag title belts and yells that if he wants them then he has to use it (the chair). While the ref is distracted with Aries, Roode low blows Davey(?) and hits him with a chair, allowing them to get the win.

So, it looks like Aries & Roode pretty much turned heel here, or tweeners at least (but for now I’d consider them heels). I actually really like this finish. Aside from me liking Roode MUCH more as a heel, I think this makes Aries & Roode and the series in general more interesting. Before the series had great in-ring stuff but not much interesting or a story to it. Now though I think they can actually get some interesting stuff here with some heat between the two teams and Roode & Aries wanting to cheat. Overall I’m repeating myself, but I just think this move makes everything more interesting and I like it.

Winners via cheating: The Dirty Heels (yes, I will call them this again)

We see what looks like security camera footage showing Storm & Mickie again, this time walking along a train station. Storm makes comments about hearing the train coming when there’s nothing and Mickie’s phone ringing when there’s nothing, and when she shows the phone to Storm, he grabs it and shoves her onto the tracks? The angle wasn’t good enough to tell, but that’s what it looks like and what was implied. We then hear a train whistle, signaling the train is coming, and Storm makes a comment about that being a long way down. He then takes the phone, calls someone, and says “Nick (Magnus’s real name), it’s Uncle James. Just wanted to let you know Mickie isn’t gonna be home for dinner.” Then he walks away doing his whistle. Did James Storm just murder Mickie James on television, or at least attempt to? Why is he not arrested yet!?! Now I liked this scene because Storm plays this character brilliantly, but he just straight up tried to murder someone! Am I the only one who reacted to this appropriately? The announcers barely showed any reaction to it.

Madison Rayne is in the ring. She says that it seems that lately unless you shake your @ss on the ring, shove a sucker down someone’s throat, or is Gail Kim, you get nothing on this show while contracted talent like herself sit backstage doing nothing, then talks about how Velvet Sky was fired but steals screen time lately. Is Madison a face now? Cause all this stuff is true and stuff a face should really be saying. Madison then says some more stuff about the topic and Velvet comes out from the crowd. Madison tells her that having chains doesn’t maker her a bad@ss or purple in your hair, then Velvet hits her with an awful spear, a very phony-looking kick, and a poorly executed stunner. When you’ve been wrestling as long as Velvet and can’t hit those moves correctly, you’re in the wrong line of work. Angelina Love then comes down with her security and yells that Velvet was fired and shouldn’t be here. She sends her own security in the ring and Velvet tries attacking them at first, but is eventually taken down and held in place. Angelina then gets in the ring and says more bullsh*t and slaps her twice until security carries her away. Then as Velvet’s dragged off and Angelina’s bragging, TNA Security comes out and says she’s being arrested for assaulting a fan. So, we can have fans in attendance jump the rail and attack wrestlers and security doesn’t do sh*t, but a wrestler slaps her twice and it’s a big deal? Why? And why did TNA security act so quickly on this? If this is how quick they react, they should really be cops and be going after James Storm for attempting to murder someone. I still can’t get over that.

Match #5 - Ethan Carter III & Tyrus vs. Rockstar Spud & Kurt Angle

I still miss when Kurt’s entrance involved him rising up from below. Just looked cool.

This was an okay match. Not terrible, but nothing that great. I loved one moment where Tyrus was basically doing push-ups on Spud, and it reminded me of Scott Steiner.

Finish comes when Angle hits a back suplex (that they called the Olympic Slam) on Tyrus and Spuds covers him. Not a very surprising win, but nothing to complain about.

Winners via pinfall: Kurt Angle & Rockstar Spud

After the match, Austin Aries’s music hits and he comes out. Aries says that he admires Spud’s heart, questions his decision making, but used Option C, which Aries started years ago. He says that just liked Destination X that year, he will be the main event as he’s cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase. I originally thought this meant it was gonna be a three-way, but it turns out that he’s really facing the winner of Angle/Spud. I really hated this honestly. Why would he announce this ahead of time? Why are they even throwing him in here anyway? Is it a requirement that Aries must somehow be involved in Option C/Destination X’s main event every year? It’s just a decision I don’t like or agree with at all.

Overall Impressions:

Pretty good episode of Impact tonight to me. Most of the matches were alright, that opening was amazing, and there was some interesting stuff through. And while we did have stuff like that awful Velvet segment, we did had stuff like James Storm trying to murder someone, cause that’s always fun to see. To be fair I might only be acting as kind to this show because it had that ROH show as a lead-in, but I thought this was just an entertaining and solidly-booked show, so what is there to complain about overall? Pope on the announce table only brought up my opinion of the show. I’d love to see him & Mike Tenay become the full-time announce team.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.


TheCannon Reviews: ROH Wrestling 6/3/15

Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, and welcome to my review of the June 3, 2015 edition of Ring of Honor (ROH) Wrestling. I know this is a bit different from my usual Impact reviews, but with ROH debuting on Destination America, I decided to give it a shot. I’ve wanted to watch it for a while but haven’t been able to until now. Now remember that this is the first ROH show I’ve ever watched, meaning I won’t be familiar with any of their storylines or most of their talent. So please ignore any stupidity you see from me not understanding stuff. With that out of the way, let’s get started.

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I noticed the show was rated TV-PG, which I thought was odd. Never seen a wrestling show rated that.

Show opens with the Briscoe Brothers hyping up their match against the House of Truth, and they were saying Jay Lethal has been dodging them and something like that. They sounded awful and looked like rejects from Mountain Monsters. I already hate them.

The announcers (Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino I think) hype up a match for the next PPV with Jay Lethal vs. Jay Briscoe in the “biggest match in ROH history”... okay. That’s kinda sad, but whatever. They also mention that tonight will include the Briscoe Brothers (Jay & Mark) vs. the House of Truth (Jay Lethal & some other guy) and BJ Whitmer vs. Moose.

Now, before we go further, let’s talk about the lighting and overall production values of this show. They were really bad. The lighting reminded me of the black hole TNA had at some of their earlier shows this year, only the arena is so small that the lighting in the ring still slightly affects the crowd and it just looked bad & cheap. It looked like it was filmed with night vision goggles. The whole show just looked awful.

Match #1 - Kushida vs. Will Ferrara

They show a little graphic for both guys before the match begins with info like their height, weight, finisher, & stuff like that, which I thought was a nice touch.

This match did not impress me at all. I wouldn’t call it a terrible match, but I didn’t see anything good either. Just very forgetting. Kushida wins after some sort of submission.

Winner via submission: Kushida

Christopher Daniels & Kazarian come down, apparently being called The Addiction now. I’m still calling them Bad Influence. Kazarian says something about another team (I missed who because the mic didn’t pick it up properly) wanting a shot at their World Tag Team Championships of the World, which I liked hearing since it reminded me of their TNA run. They say that if the other team want a shot at the belts, then they can get a shot next week and only next week as they walk away. I see Kazarian has lost all his personality since leaving TNA.

Match #2 - Silas Young vs. Watanabe

Another forgettable match. I can’t remember any moments in the match other than one moment with a suplex outside the ring. Silas Young wins, something I didn’t even remember until I looked up results online when trying to write this. So yeah, really forgettable.

Winner via something: Silas Young

BJ Whitmer w/some people vs. Moose w/some people

Never told us who their managers were, but Moose was accompanied by some redhead with glasses who was pretty hot. The highlight of the show so far.

BJ gets the mic and says that he could wrestle Moose tonight and wipe the floor with him and end his winning streak, and says more stuff about letting someone else do it and prove they belong in ROH and is the future of ROH. He then looks to the other guy he came out with and says he’s facing Moose, who’s apparently the son of Steve Corino, but I never got his first name. Colby I think? I’m not sure.

Match #3 - Moose w/some people vs. Colby (?) Corino

Squash match, and not even an entertaining one like classic Goldberg matches could be. Moose wins. Do you care?

Winner via pinfall: Moose

To be fair, Moose did have a good look and decent entrance, so he might be alright. Hard to tell from a match like this.

Backstage Jay Lethal walks up to some guy and talks about facing the Briscoes tonight. What stood out about this scene is that the background had what looked like Ryder Renter trucks, but they were blurred out. There was also a Chevrolet Impala that they blurred out a bit. Why? This makes you look bad and cheap. But given the rest of the show, they already had this issue. Why couldn’t they just film this scene elsewhere?

Match #4 - House of Truth (Shane Diesel & Donovan Dijak) w/Jay Lethal vs. The Briscoes (Jay & Mark Briscoe)

This was supposed to be Lethal & Jijak against the Briscoes, but someone made a call to get Lethal out of the match. I was actually looking forward to seeing Lethal, so that sucks. We did get him on the announce table though, which was enjoyable.

What did Mark do to this pants!?! It looks like cut off the bottom of the legs and then took scissors to cut straight lines up all around. It looks like he had to climb over a barbed wire fence to get into the building.

The match... what am I supposed to say at this point? It was the best match of the night, but still wasn’t that great or memorable. I’ve heard how great the Briscoes are, but I wasn’t hugely impressed. Maybe with better opponets they’d be better, but I wasn’t impressed. Brisoces win after Jay pins a guy.

Winners via pinfall: The Briscoes

Overall Impressions:

The show was only an hour. That’s the only positive I can say. This show wasn’t offensively bad or anything, but it had forgettable matches, bad promos, & awful production values. While watching it, all I could think is that I’d much rather be watching an episode of Raw, and it’s pretty impressive to get that reaction from me. I’ll give ROH another shot next week, but this was just an awful first impression. Not a show I recommend checking out at all.

Anyway, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Impact review should be up in the next hour or so, so see you then.

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TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/29/15

Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, brining you a review for TNA’s Impact Wrestling 5/29/15. Sorry for not reviewing last week’s show, but I couldn’t figure out a way to review the Impact airing outside the US, and I didn’t see a point in reviewing an 11 month old PPV. But tonight is the “May Mayhem” themed Impact, because TNA hasn’t had enough themed Impacts the past few months. How would they do after a week off in America? Let’s start the review and find out.

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Show opens with Eric Young driving into the arena (with a cameraman in his car for some reason) and talking about how after weeks he finally gets Kurt Angle tonight and will make him quit. He then sees Kurt standing in the parking lot and starts talking about how stupid Kurt is for waiting for him. He then gets out and they start brawling until security pulls them apart and Young yells that he’s gonna break his neck. Shouldn’t be too hard in Angle’s current state; all he has to do is slap him hard enough.

Match #1 - Steel Cage match for TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) w/Jade & Marti Belle vs. Gail Kim

Al Snow is back on commentary with Josh Matthews. My reaction:

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There’s an actual Dollhouse on the entrance ramp during the Dollhouse’s entrance for some reason.

Match was... not good. But it’s a Taryn Terrell match, so what do you expect at this point? Dollhouse tried interfering but were unsuccessful. This match was just so unmemorable that it ended 3 minutes ago and I only remember one thing from the match (Gail slamming Taryn into the cage once) and nothing else. Why are they pushing Taryn so much? I know she’s attractive, but that’s no reason she should be pushed.

Winner and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrell

After the match the other Dollhouse members get in the ring and they knock the ref down. Then as they start posing Awesome Kong’s music hits (cause that was surprising) and she comes out, but can’t get through the door with the chain lock. After cowering in fear (right by the door for some reason) they then begin ignoring Kong and beating on Gail. Al Snow says that they’re trying to break Gail’s “Wedding finger”. I don’t feel I need to explain what’s wrong with that. They continue beating on her until they start posing, and I’m left wondering how they get out of the ring without Kong getting to them and beating the sh*t out of them.

Video replay of everything that’s happened with James Storm, Magnus, & Mickie James lately. Makes me realize how good a Storm/Magnus feud could have been had Mickie not been involved.

Mickie herself then comes out and reminds us that she promised to have one last match and she can’t wait for it. Mickie then says that’s not what she’s hearing to talk about today (then why bring it up?) and says she’s here to talk about relationships. She then says nonsense about Magnus being her fiance, the love of her life, his best friend, and the father of her child until James Storm comes out. Mickie begins apologizing for what happened between him & Magnus with the guitar, and Storm says that she doesn’t owe him an apology and how he won’t get one from Magnus and that’s fine. They then go into random stuff about everything and James says Magnus is jealous of their friendship and some nonsense that’s really boring. Why are they even having this conversation in the middle of the ring? James makes a comment to the gladiator helmet he got Magnus and Mickie says it wasn’t funny and James says it was, and you can hear a little “That was funny” chant in the background. It was hilarious and probably the highlight of this feud. Storm then says something about how he got Mickie a meeting and names some people and it’s basically musicians to help Mickie out with her music career, and as James walks away Mickie says she’ll see him in Nashville. Not a great segment. Storm is talented enough that he’s holding this storyline together & keeping it interested, but even he’s barely doing it. And if Mickie is so good at her music; then why does Storm need to set this stuff up for her?

Backstage Kenny King is asked about his mindset for the gauntlet match tonight, and Kenny says that he’s always been a champion or something like that and not to ask him questions; saying the only reason he took the match is because he has the champion’s right of being the final entrant. He then says he’ll let all the “vanilla midgets” wear themselves out with flips until “chocolate thunder” comes in, then he hypes up using the X-Division title to cash in Option C (X-Division champion trading the title for a shot at the world title at Destination X). All I got from this was Kenny using the term “vanilla midgets”, and it sounded a bit racist when he said it. Not sure if they were going for that for if it was an accident, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were going for it after that MVP promo from the almost-live Impact from May 8.

Match #2 - Gauntlet match for TNA X-Division Championship

Rules are that 8 men come out after periods of time and you’re eliminated by being thrown over the top rope with your feet touching the floor. When we get down to the final 2 guys, it becomes a singles match won by pinfall or submission. In other words, it’s not a real gauntlet at all, and I have no idea why TNA calls stuff like this a gauntlet.

List of entrants (in order of entrance) include:

  • Manik
  • Rockstar Spud
  • DJ Z
  • Mark Andrews
  • Argos....
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He’s apparently some wrestler from AAA. What he’s done to earn an X-Division title shot is a mystery.

Next entrants:

  • Crazzy Steve
  • Tigre Uno
  • Kenny King

The order of elimination (and who eliminated them):

  • Mark Andrews (by Manik)
  • Tigre Uno (by Manik)
  • Crazy Steve (by Kenny King)
  • Argos (by Kenny King)
  • DJ Z (by Kenny King)
  • Manik (by Kenny King)

LOL at Tigre Uno. He entered during a commercial and was eliminated instantly once we came back from commercial. I like Tigre, but I just find it funny how much he’s treated as a jobber.

Manik came so close and I was routing for him so much, but unfortunately was eliminated. I like what they show from Manik though, as he tried teaming with Kenny to team up on Spud. It makes sense, and he did this a few months ago in an Ultimate X match where he teamed with Sanada against the BroMans & The Wolves.

Final two guys are Spud & Kenny King, and Snow says it’s like a re-match between the champ & the former champ. Is it really a re-match when they’ve never faced in a one-on-one match before? They won’t shut up about how he’s been there since the beginning, leading to it being way too predictable when he wins. TNA needs to learn how to be more subtle.

I kinda like Spud (even if I preferred him as a heel), but I really don’t want to see him with the title anymore. And what the hell was the point of giving Kenny the title if he was just gonna randomly lose it a few weeks later? Ugh. Poor Manik.

Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Rockstar Spud

Match #3 - Clean Faces (Austin Aries & Bobby Roode) vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

I really don’t like them combining Roode’s music with Aries’s music for their entrance, and I don’t like Aries not wearing his cape.

Aries gets the mic and says that the Wolves stole a victory last match, so tells them to get out there so they can “wrassle”. Wolves come out and Aries does a dive on them when they’re outside the ring.

This was just fantastic match and by far match of the night. I liked their last match lot, but I thought this was better. Wolves get the win surprisingly, making it 2-0 in the series. One more with and they win the series and tag titles. It kinda becomes obvious now who’s gonna win the next two matches, but I’m alright. But this was a great match, certainly worth watching even if you skip the rest of the show. I was a bit worried about the next matches in the series getting boring, but it doesn’t look like we’ll have that issue any time soon.

Winners via pinfall: The Wolves

Backstage Angelina Love is backstage and is asked something about Velvet and how she shouldn’t be here since she’s fired but she’ll deal with it. Ugh.

Backstage scene where Kenny King is trying to call MVP and seems angry. Kinda pointless.

Angelina Love comes out and Velvet is sitting in the crowd in the front row. She says a bunch of annoying sh*t about how Velvet was fired and is where she belongs. She then brings out Angelina Love Security (stealing the idea from the Main Event Mafia & Mick Foley) and says that they’ll escort Velvet out if she lays a hand on her. Angelina gets in her faces and says more sh*t to tease her, and as she walks away Velvet jumps the rail and attacks her, and then takes out her security.

Seriously, what was that and why does this need to happen? Why did they even bring Velvet back, and why is she somehow worse-looking now than she was before? This is all time that could have been spent on.. anything else.

Mr. Buzz Killington (or Anderson as some call him) is backstage and says that since Day 1 it’s been Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III w/Tyrus. Then says something about how EC3 won’t have Tyrus’s help now since he has a cage built to keep Tryrus in. What authority does Anderson have to add this stipulation anyway?

Match #4 - Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

EC3 gets on the mic and says “Despite all his rage, Tyrus will not be a rat in the cage.” I was told it was a Billy Corgan/Smashing Pumpkins reference, but I’m not familiar with it so I’ll have to take his word for it. Pretty cool to me. I think that the cage Anderson has for Tyrus is an old King of the Mountain cage that they took the words off of. Kinda lazy, but I don’t see what other use they’d have for them at this point.

The opening few minutes were really distracting, as it was more just random brawling with Anderson trying to lock Tyrus in the cage, and is eventually successful after way too long. EC3 & Tyrus should have tried locking Anderson in the cage so EC3 would win by countout.

Match was okay. Not great, but better than I thought it’d be. EC3 wins clean after hitting the One Percenter. Glad to see this, and hopefully EC3 can move on to bigger & better things. Next world champ please! #EC3forCHAMP

Winner via pinfall: Ethan Carter III

After the match Anderson offers to shake his hand, but EC3 just slaps his hand and walks away.

Backstage where Rockstar Spud talks about becoming a two-time X-Division Champion and how he proved his win back in the UK wasn’t a fluke as he was able to beat Kenny King. But his title win was against Low Ki when he cashed in his case, and now he beat Low Ki. How does beating Kenny King prove his win against Low Ki wasn’t a fluke? It was a fluke with how it was done no matter what, but his logic made no sense. He then talks about being regarded among great X-Division Champions in history like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Austin Aries, Christopher Daniels, & Jerry Lynn... kinda sad if you think about it. He’s then asked about Option C, and says he hasn’t thought about that. When is Destination X? Usually it & Option C isn’t until July, but they’re talking about it like it’s in a few weeks. A date would be nice.

Match #5 - I Quit match for TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Eric Young

Rules to an I quit match are that anything is legal, and you win the match by making your opponent say “I quit”. It can be a pretty good match when done right.

This was an okay match. Not much memorable or noteworthy honestly. It felt a lot like their previous matches, just with the ref asking them if they quit or not. I liked one move where Young tapped out to the Ankle Lock, but since he didn’t say “I Quit” it didn’t end then. Finish comes when Angle locks in the Ankle Lock and Eric says he quits. Again: okay match, but not much memorable or noteworthy. I hope this officially ends the feud now, but knowing TNA it’ll likely continue into Bound for Glory.

Winner via ??? (not sure what to say) and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Pretty good episode of Impact to me. That tag match was great, the gauntlet was fun, Angle/Young & EC3/Anderson were both okay, and it leaves me with interest for the future. I’ve certainly seen better episodes, but I found this enjoyable. Really not much to say beyond that. If you watch nothing else from this show, you have to check out the Wolves/Clean Faces match.

Before ending this review, I just want to remind everyone that next week Impact will no longer be on Friday and will be moving Wednesday. So make sure to watch it June 3 and every Wednesday now. Also, June 3 will also be the day that Ring of Honor (ROH) premiers on Destination America, airing an hour before Impact. I will be watching that, and also plan on reviewing it. It’s gonna be tough with that & Impact right next to each other, but expect to see a ROH review in addition to the normal Impact review. Just wanted to let everyone know what to expect from me, and to remind everyone that Impact is now on Wednesday.

Anyway, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/15/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the May 15, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. After last week’s lackluster “live” show, how would this show turn out? Will EC3 finally get his rightful spot as #1 contender? They were advertizing Team Angle vs Team Young in a “Hardcore War” for tonight’s show, so would that turn out good? Let’s start the show and find out.

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We’ve got Mike Tenay back on the announce table with Josh Matthews, and it’s great to have him back. Never realized how much I missed him until I saw people infinitely inferior to him.

Show opens with Kurt Angle coming out with Chris Melendez, wearing a shirt that certainly stands out. It’s all grey and in black lettering says “ARMY”. Angle says that each week he laces up these boots and goes to war, and last week he want to war with Eric Young, who decided to align himself with the BDC and it blew up in his face. Kurt says that he aligned himself with someone who, Sergeant Chris Melendez, who Kurt says is a true American hero. Kurt goes on about how great Chris Melendez is for putting his life for his country and it cost him his body. Not his body, really more just his leg. He then says he had help from others and calls out The Rising.

The Rising comes out, and Kurt begins thanking them for standing up for the fans, wrestling, & everything and they’re allowing him to defend the title every week which he’s thankful for. As a fan I hate the Rising for that. They then go on about some nonsense that ends with Galloway saying that one day they’re gonna fight for that title and he’s gonna win and take the belt from Angle. And that’s the day and I loose all hope for TNA.

Eric Young comes out shouting know and talks about how it took him weeks to get his title shot, and they stacked the decks against him with special referee Bully Ray and The Rising, and that he got screwed.

No Caption Provided

Eric then says some more stuff and he just really just seemed too random. He said something about how Kurt surrounded himself with losers.

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Hope EY keeps this up, I haven't gotten this much use out of that meme in a while.

More stuff is then said, and Angle’s final partner for tonight is revealed to be the returning Lashley. I thought he was gonna be gone for a while, but I guess we’re not that lucky. Young’s team is then revealed and it’s the BDC unsurprisingly, who run down and attack Angle’s team.

Backstage scene where Brooke & Rebel are shown getting ready for their match. With what they’re wearing and the poses they’re making it makes me feel like I’m getting ready to watch some sort of softcore porn. Not that I’d know anything about that kind of stuff...

Match #1 - The Dollhouse (Jade & Marti Belle) w/Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke & Rebel

Remember everyone, this is very important! The Dollhouse has a new theme that’s the song “Doll Parts” by the band Hole with lead singer Courtney Love. It’s so important that they had to tell us in the corner of the screen.

I was going to make a joke here asking where the Menagerie went and how Knux should be on the side of a milk cartoon, but they make a reference that she was part of them but they “went back to the circus”. Technically it was a carnival, but whatever. Does this mean they’re gone from TNA? Cause I’ll be a tad disappointed if Knux is gone. Why is Rebel still here then?

The match was really bad, but when the most talented person out there is Brooke I don’t know what you’re supposed to expect. 3 of the women were hot, so I guess there’s that, but it doesn’t make it entertaining to watch. Still better than that sh*tty Avengers movie I saw earlier in the week I guess. There was a botch where Rebel was going for a split from the top rope, but Jade started rolling away long before Rebel actually got off the rope and she should have noticed. The Dollhouse wins and I truthfully don’t even remember how. Do you really care?

Winners: The Dollhouse

After the match, Taryn gets on the mic and starts giving her nonsense. She says something about her and Gail Kim’s family and says to stay tuned. Is she teasing more of her & the Dollhouse tonight? Please no. I don’t think I can handle more of this sh*t.

Backstage the BDC & EY are talking and they say Homicide can’t be there for Hardcore War tonight. EY says he’s got a guy and they’ll be impressed how crazy he is. Sounds like Bram, or I at least hope it is.

Ethan Carter III comes out and Matthews & Tenay start arguing over whether or not EC3 should be #1 contender (he should be). EC3 gets out and starts complaining about the new Top 5, as he beat Anderson last week in his own match and the guy who is #1 lost last week, so he should be the new champion and demands answers. Mr. Anderson comes out and... JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE F*CK!?! THIS SHOULD HAVE ENDED LAST WEEK!!! TNA, YOU DO REMEMBER THAT ANDERSON KILLS THE MOMENTUM OF EVERYONE HE’S IN A FEUD WITH, RIGHT!?! DON’T F*CKING KEEP THIS THING WITH EC3 GOING!

EC3 tells Anderson that they’re done, but Anderson says that they disappoint him and he wants to fight someone tonight. Anderson makes an offer that he already has something set up where Anderson faces Tyrus and if he wins, he’ll get EC3. EC3 doesn’t agree, and as they walk away Anderson asks if he’ll always be EC3‘s little b*tch, and then keeps repeating it until Tyrus accepts.

Match #2 - Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus

Match wasn’t that good. I’ve seen worse, but it’s what you’d expect. Most notable thing was Tenay & Matthews arguing with Matthews in support of EC3. Does TNA feel the need to always have the announce team bickering?

EC3 tried to interfere at one point, but the ref threw him out. As he was walking up the ramp, a “We want Ethan” chant broke out, which was cool. Anderson seems mostly out of it, but predictably hits a Mic Check on Tyrus and gets the win. So now we’ve got EC3 vs Anderson AGAIN. They didn’t say it, but I assume for next week. Please be it this time.

Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson

Some replays of what happened last week with Magnus & James Storm is shown, and Magnus comes out. Magnus says that he will never apologize for hitting Storm with a guitar, he will hit Storm with a million guitars, and won’t because he’s a piece of crap. Yet Magnus is the face in this. He calls out Storm and his music hits, but Abyss comes out instead and Matthews tells us that isn’t James Storm. Thank you Captain Obvious. Abyss says that Magnus attacked his leader, and he’ll pay or something like that. Abyss & Magnus then start brawling, and use this “BBQ Pitmaster” stuff from another Destination America show that was out there for some reason. They brawl for a while until Manik comes down and is immediately taken out, but then Koya runs down with that walking stick from weeks ago and beats Magnus with it and takes him down. Koya’s a lot like Teddy Roosevelt, he speaks softly and carries a big stick. Manik then gets up and beats on Magnus for a moment until he gets up and poses with Koya & Abyss. Not sure why they’re trying to make Koya look like the most dominant Revolution member.

Match #3 - Clean Faces (Bobby Roode & Austin Aries) vs. The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards)

I hate Aries coming down in a shirt instead of a cape. Makes him look generic.

This was a pretty good match like I expected. I will say that I think Aries & Roode deserve better than going after the tag titles, but the division does need some decent teams, so I guess it's alright for now. Finish comes when Eddie gets roll-up on Roode. Kind of anti-climatic, but I guess they wanted to make the match & finish look close to get some interest in future matches. But overall, good match that I’d recommend checking out.

Winners via pinfall: The Wolves

Backstage scene where Drew Galloway tells Eli Drake & Mica that Kurt only gave them two spots for the Hardcore War, and he had to make a choice, so Eli isn’t gonna be there. Yay? Kurt then comes in with Lashley & Melendez and says that this is one of the best teams he’s been part of in his entire career... Really? One of the best with the Main Event Mafia? The Angle Alliance? Team Angle from Lethal Lockdown 2007 & 2015? Whatever.

Backstage(?) scene where Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse are shown talking about nothing. She’s talking about something she’s gonna wear for Gail’s husband but it isn’t for you (talking to the camera), so why have a camera there? She then says that she’s gonna go out and show it to everyone. What happened to it wasn’t for us?

Backstage scene where the Revolution are celebrating, and James Storm comes in and starts yelling at them that he didn’t tell them to do that and not to do anything he didn’t tell them to do. I love how the one time the Revolution does something right, Storm scolds them for it.

The Dollhouse comes out, and begins going on about some nonsense. Jade & Marti aren’t wearing shirts (only bras) and aren’t wearing real pants. Why? Taryn shows some pics of her with Gail’s daughters looking uncomfortable. She then says more nonsense that makes me want to cut my ears off and asks for the lights to be lowered, and for some reason they were and some spotlights are shown on the ring. Why does Taryn have control over this? Taryn then takes off her robe and shows off her outfit... yeah, cause this is what I watch a wrestling show for.

Gail Kim comes out and acts all angry about how personal Taryn made it? Taryn says some nonsense and proves she’s one of the worst heels I’ve ever seen. One of them (Marti I think) asks Gail, “Why so serious?” They’re making a reference to Heath Ledger’s Joker? They haven’t earned the right to do that. Marti also offers Gail a lick of her sucker, and Gail says that if Marti doesn’t shut up that she’ll stick that sucker down her (Marti’s) throat. Is that what Marti was already doing?

The whole thing breaks out into a brawl, but I’m not sure I should use that word. It was mostly Gail beating on Taryn and any time Jade & Marti tried to stop he, she effortlessly threw them to the side and went back to beating on Taryn. I thought Ultron was gonna be the least-threatening villain/bad guy I saw in anything this week, but I was proven wrong here. Why did Gail need Kong’s help to fight the Dollhouse when she seems to be having no problem on her own?

Match #4 - Robbie E vs. Jessie Godderz

So, they haven’t been seen or heard from since April 17 when a break up was set up but hadn’t officially happened, and now they’re having a match? Why? “TNA Management” thought this was the best idea, but who is TNA management anyway? Are they split up or what?

They grapple and Robbie gets a quick roll-up and gets the win. That was rather quick.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

Jessie gets the mic and says no one wants to see a 5 second match, so asks for another match and Robbie accepts.

Match #5 - Robbie E vs. Jessie Godderz

Match goes on a tad longer, but again Robbie gets a quick roll-up and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

After the match, Jessie says he wasn’t even ready as his tights were still tied and asked for one final match to determine once and for all who the better BroMan was, and Robbie accepts yet again.

Match #6 - Robbie E vs. Jessie Godderz

This match goes on for about a minute before Robbie gets another roll-up after a reversal and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

Afterwards, Jessie becomes p*ssed and starts going after Robbie, throws the ref out of the ring, and beats on Robbie. He continues this and it goes outside the ring, leading to him slamming Robbie’s head into the post for the ring with a chair. So, looks like the BroMans have broken up and Jessie’s the heel. Not sure why they’ve split up considering TNA needs more tag teams right now, but whatever I guess. I’m kinda curious how this turns out for both guys, but I just feel like this is gonna be a mistake. And where’s Zema?

Match #7 - Hardcore War: Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Chris Melendez, Lashley, Drew Galloway, & Mica) vs. Team Young (Eric Young, MVP, Low Ki, Kenny King, & ???)

The rules to this are that two men from each team will start off, and every 90 seconds someone new will come out until all 10 men are there, and everyone brings down a weapon of choice with them. It’s basically Lethal Lockdown or Wargames without the cage.

Galloway & Low Ki start off, and everyone next (in order) is Kenny King, Mica, Eric Young, Kurt Angle, MVP, Chris Melendez, Bram (yay!), & Lashley. Glad I was right about Bram.

The match wasn’t bad, but really wasn’t good either. It’s about what you’d expect really. It had the typical TNA thing where everyone had to hit their finisher or some move all in a row to eliminate people. And it had the “one person jumps on about everyone else outside the ring and takes them out, including people that weren’t hit” thing TNA loves. Twice. Finish comes when Eric Young hits a Piledriver on Chris Melendez. I feel like Melendez was here mostly just to take a pin.

Winners via pinfall: Team Young

After the match, Young goes after Melendez some more and takes out his fake leg. Angle then gets in there and asks him what he’s doing, and Young ends up attacking him, and the show ends with Young choking out Angle with the leg. Well, I guess Eric Young’s begun the first leg of his journey to regaining the world title.

Overall Impressions:

The show was... okay. I’m just sick of the Angle/Young, Rising/BDC, & EC3/Anderson feuds, plus the Dollhouse, so this show was kinda boring and a pain to watch. Quality wasn’t that bad, but I’m just sick of seeing a lot of this stuff. Wolves/Clean Faces was good, and I’m semi-interested in the Robbie/Jessie thing, but I can’t say I’m into much more than that. Magnus/Storm seems to be going nowhere, and other than that I just want EC3 to get his title shot. For their top heel, they’re making him way too likeable and sympathetic. So yeah, just overall a show I wasn’t too interested in. I’d recommend the Wolves/Clean Faces match, but nothing else from this show stood out to me.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.

Next week’s show:

I just wanted to discuss this before leaving. I’m not sure what’s going on with next week’s show. I heard it originally being a 3-hour PPV show, but I later heard it was just a replay of last year’s Slammiversary. But recently I heard that TNA taped a full 3-hour show that will air outside the US, but here on Destination America it will not be aired and we’ll get Slammiversary instead. I’m not entirely sure what’s true and what isn’t, but it sounds like something’s gotten screwed up. If I’m able to watch the next episode of Impact (whether it’s on TV or online) then I will review it as always. If it’s Slammiversary 2014 then I might review it but I have no guarantee that I will. I’ll depend on what I feel like then.

But, just wanted to give an update on the mess of TNA’s programming right now and what’s going on with me reviewing it. Nothing more to add, so see you.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/8/15

Hey there everyone. I’m not in the mood to do my typical intro today, so let’s just get through this. This was advertised as a live Impact, but in reality it was on a one-hour tape delay or something like that. They were hyping up a former World Champ as the special referee for tonight, so that should be interesting.

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No Al Snow on the announce team tonight, so that’s good.

No opening video tonight which was weird. Show opens with Eric Young demanding to know who the referee for tonight is, as he’s been #1 contender for 5 weeks and deserves it. Then Bully Ray’s music hits, and he comes out in a referee shirt with a leather vest over it which looked awful. He then asks if we know who he is, and he says he’s the referee for tonight.

So Bully Ray... meh. Seems kinda anti-climatic really. Don’t see the point in brining him back honestly. Seems like a waste of money. He also looks like he’s put on weight since we saw him last year.

Also, Young’s vest had some patches on the shoulders and it looked like they were eyes with how the collar came over them.

After an opening video, Ethan Carter III & Tyrus (in a very nWo-like outfit) come out. EC3 gets on the mic and says that there’s an energy in the building tonight. He then says some stuff that sounds nice but didn’t mean much, and basically got a “You Can’t wrestle/Yes he can” chant going. Mr. Anderson comes out and is very annoying, and shows up the poll results for his match with EC3. Falls Count Anywhere (which Anderson wanted) won by 85% and arm wrestling (which EC3 wanted) got 15%. Yeah, this certainly wasn’t rigged or anything.

Match #1 - Falls Count Anywhere: Ethan Carter III w/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson

This match was okay I suppose, but nothing too memorable. I hate the way it was booked honestly. I know EC3‘s streak so far has mostly been him cheating his way through it, but he’s still been booked to be (generally) evenly matched against top guys and legends. So why is Anderson destroying him at the beginning pretty much with ease? EC3 does manage to get the advantage, but no where near as much offense as he should. He isn’t even involved in the finish at all, as all that happens is Tyrus coming in and destroying Anderson and letting EC3 pin him. Why did Anderson even want a Falls Count Anywhere match when he knew something like that could happen?

Winner via shenanigans: Ethan Carter III

The BDC comes out with awful masks. MVP gets on the mic and says that tonight Impact is live. Except it isn’t. MVP then talks about how the mask belongs to Homicide, but he isn’t here tonight as he was in the broncs and got blindsided by someone and needs shoulder surgery. He then goes on some nonsense about the government doing stuff but the crowd calling them thugs when they do it but cheer the Rising. Since when do they cheer The Rising? He then says something about “thug” being the new word for the N word. They bleeped it out obviously, but you can read his lips and tell he said it.

Drew Galloway & the Rising then come out and spout their typical nonsense. Galloway says that they had nothing to do with Homicide getting taken out, as they do their business in the ring. He then tries to say that “Homicide” isn’t exactly the nicest name and it could have been anyone... yeah Galloway, I seriously doubt his legal name is Homicide or that he goes around calling himself that. He then tries saying it could have even been Kenny King since he saw how Homicide was looking at his X-Division title last week. Since Galloway’s logic makes no sense, a challenge is then made for Galloway & MVP in a one-on-one match.

Match #2 - Drew Galloway vs. MVP

Meh. It’s a Drew Galloway match; what do you expect me to say?

My biggest thoughts for this match were “When is Marvel/Disney gonna sue over MVP’s skull logo?” Then I realize no one from Marvel or Disney watches TNA.

Galloway wins with that stupid finisher he has.

Winner via pinfall: Drew Galloway

After the match EY comes out to attack Galloway, and he beats down on the Rising with the rest of the BDC. This was completely random, but I love seeing EY randomly attack people, so I’m happy with it.

Backstage James Storm is shown arriving with a giant gift box, and he says it’s a special present for a special friend. He says that he’s like Santa and he’s just giving out gifts and that we’re gonna be upwrapping more soon. Very soon... Or whenever TNA’s writing staff remembers Strom giving this line and realizing they have loose ends to wrap up.

After commercials, Storm comes out with the giant gift box. He says that he can talk about beating people and and drinking beer and blah blah blah (his words, not mine). He says that he wants to shift the spotlight to someone else, so he wants to bring out his good friend: Mickie James. Micke’s music hits and she comes out. Storm says that he knows Mickie is transitioning her life from wrestling to motherhood, and that everyone can respect that, as without his mom, he wouldn’t know right from wrong, so god bless motherhood. Storm says that Mickie promised the fans one more match, and the time will come where she’ll give them one more match. Storm then says something about how important her music is to her, and decides to get to the point and gives Mickie her gift. She opens it and it’s a custom guitar. It’s purple and has “Mickie James” written on it and it actually looks pretty. He then says he wants to get a pic of them together and post it on his Twitter, and calls in someone from ringside with a camera and says that they’re gonna take a giant selfie right now. Is it really a selfie when you’re not the one taking the pic?

Magnus then comes out looking angry, and he doesn’t come out to his music surprisingly. Storm says that he got a gift for Magnus too, and he gives Magnus a spiked gladiator helmet. Storm then chuckles and asks if he remembers it. For those who don’t get it, when Magnus debuted in TNA back in 2009, he was “The Modern Day Gladiator” Brutus Magnus and came out in a spiked gladiator helmet like that. He was really lame and inexperienced back then, but he’s come a long way. I don’t know how many people watching even remember Magnus back then, but for a long time fan like me, I f*cking loved that.

Magnus then gets offended and walks away with Mickie, until Storm says that he also got something for Donovan (Magnus’s & Mickie’s son). He pulls out something, but I couldn’t tell what it was exactly. Storm says that Donovan can wear it and can be told it came from Uncle James. Magnus then gets angry and walks back into the ring, grabs the guitar, and hits Storm in the had with it before walking off again. The camera zooms in on Storm’s face and just shows a smile. Seems like that was just there just to remind/hint to us Storm is still a heel. Yet Magnus looks pretty heelish at the same time here...

You know what? I could b*tch about this scene, but I’m not going to. TNA is at least trying to do something interesting with this storyline, and they are keeping me interested in what happens. That and James Storm can make just about anything work, and he’s giving this storyline his all, so he deserves credit and respect there. So yeah, keep it up TNA. I want to see where this story is going.

Also, I wonder what Manik, Abyss, & Koya think when watching this. Is the Revolution even a thing anymore?

Backstage Eric Young & the BDC are talking, and MVP asks EY what he was doing out there. EY says something about how he wants

Backstage BDC/EY scene. “Yo man, what are we doin? I thought we were done with Looney Toons”

Match #3 - The Dollhouse (Taryn Terrell, Jade, & Marti Belle) vs. Gail Kim & Awesome Kong

THIS is what they open up the second hour with? You want people to switch channels, don’t you TNA?

The match was just not good. Jade is hot but just not good in-ring so far, Marti doesn’t even have the hot thing going for her, and I’ve never been impressed by Taryn. I’ve seen Gail carry Taryn before and I’ve seen her carry people like Brooke to passable/decent matches, but you know you suck when Gail can’t do that for you, and she couldn't do that for Jade or Marti here. Dollhouse wins after Taryn gets a roll-up on Gail. Who cares?

Winners via roll-up: The Dollhouse

After the match Marti gets caught between Gail & Kong in the ring while Taryn & Jade are on the outside, and they both beat up Marti. First off, that seemed very heelish of them. Secondly, she even sold Kong's Implant Buster poorly. How the hell is that even possible?

Matt Hardy comes out and talks about how Jeff got injured in a dirtbike accident and they are forced to vacate the TNA World Tag Team Championships. Matt says that it’s time for him to go away and think about what’s next for Matt Hardy and walks away. They actually showed video of Jeff getting injured before this scene, and I have to ask... Jeff, what the f*ck is wrong with you? It’s one level of crazy to even do stunts like that, but if that’s what you’re into then fine. But you’re under contract to TNA as a reigning champion there yet you do sh*t like that? You just f*cked up their entire tag team division now, and (if my guesses are correct) the world title scene. This is nowhere near as bad as the Victory Road 2011 debacle, but it’s a good display of why Jeff can’t be trusted with anything. Just f*ck you Jeff Hardy, I hope you never recover and are forced to retire. Now please break something that prevents us from having to hear you speak.

After that, the Clean Faces (Austin Aries & Bobby Roode) come out. I know TNA calls them the Dirty Heels, but as I said before, that name makes no sense currently, so I call them the Clean Faces. Aries gets the mic and says that he has some unfinished business with EY, but he promised Angle that he wouldn’t lay a hand on Young until after their match, but he will have revenge after this. Aries says that it seems like the tag titles are cursed, as whoever gets them has to vacate them, but that’s an opportunity. He then hypes the two of them up about how great they are, they are two of the most dominant world champions in TNA history (Roode, sure. Aries? Absolutely not), and held the tag team title and didn’t get injured. He then says that they’re the greatest tag team in the world today, which causes The Wolves’ music to hit and Davey Richards comes out.

Davey then comes out and honestly was boring (but I’m used to it). He basically talked about how great The Wolves are and that they’re the greatest tag team in wrestling today, and Aries points out that Eddie Edwards is still injured. Davey then welcomes back Eddie, who comes out with no crutches or anything and seems to be completely healed. Great news to me. They then talk more without actually saying anything, and basically agree to a best 3 out of 5 series to determine who the better team is. They didn’t specifically say it that I noticed, but I’m pretty sure they’re for the tag titles. Okay scene. Not too interesting, but it does set up their upcoming matches which should be pretty great. Anyone got any predictions on who gets injured next? My money’s on Roode.

Backstage Matt Hardy is leaving the arena, but is stopped by Drew Galloway. He basically says some nonsense to Matt about how they’re both great and how they believe in the same thing, and something about thinking it through or something... I don’t know. Do I look like I pay attention to Galloway? It felt like Galloway was trying to manipulate him into joining the Rising like Storm did for the Revolution.

Angelina Love comes out and starts talking about how great she thinks she is. She then lists stuff that people have been asking her on Twitter, like what she thinks about the break-up of the BroMans (I’m curious about that myself since we haven’t seen or heard from them in weeks) & what she thinks about Kim & Kong teaming up for the first time ever. I’d like to know what she thinks of this crazy new invention called “food”. Velvet Sky is then shown in the crowd and she gets into the ring. She has a whole new look and she doesn’t pull it off well. Angelina just says more random stuff to her while Velvet is quiet. Clearly she’s been taking mic skill lessons off of Awesome Kong. Eventually Velvet hits an awful spear on her and tries beating on her until security comes out and pulls her off. Storyline wise Velvet was fired so she shouldn’t be here, so why didn’t they come out sooner? Why did this scene even happen? No one cares about ANOTHER Velvet/Angelina feud, and no one cares about Velvet in general. After 8 years she’s still complete sh*t in the ring and they’ve done everything they can with her, so there’s nothing more to do with her other than a nostalgia act with Angelina. This hopefully is just a short thing and not a full-time return.

Match #4 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship, Special Referee Bully Ray: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Eric Young

Matthews said that if something ever happened to Captain America, that Kurt Angle could be an Avenger as he’s a cyborg, a machine, an Olympic Gold Medalist, and has the most reigns as and is the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. I’m not sure where to begin questioning that statement first.

There was a point where Angle & Young were trading punches, and the way the camera kept changing when they were hitting made me feel like I was watching Adam West Batman. All that was missing was the “Biff” or “Pow” every time someone was punched.

The match was... eh. What do you expect from a modern day Kurt Angle match? The BDC came out to ringside at one point and didn’t do anything at first, but Young kicked Ray in the groin and knocked him down, allowing the BDC to beat down Angle. But then Chris Melendez (???) comes out and starts trying to fight them off, then they’re followed by the Rising who chase off the BDC. Why was Chris Melendez here? He hasn’t been seen since February, and before that not since last fall. Matt Hardy would have made more sense based on what we saw earlier with him & Galloway. Heck, Rockstar Spud would have made more sense based on him getting screwed out of the X-Division title last week.

Anyway, Young tries hitting a piledriver on Bully at one point for some reason, but Ray reserves it. Young & Angle then keep going back and forth until Angle is finally able to get him to tap out. If I had to guess, I’d assume this is now the end of the feud. I’m wondering why they brought back Bully though; did this match need a special referee? There was no storyline reason for it, and Bully as the ref didn’t seem to set up any future stories or anything. Just seems like a really odd decision.

Winner via submission: Kurt Angle

Overall Impressions:

Wasn’t a huge fan of this show. I’ve seen far worse, but there just wasn’t much memorable here. For a “live” Impact I expected a surprise or two, but we got pretty much nothing (Bully & Velvet don’t count). I’d rather his a logically booked show (by TNA standards) than a bunch of surprises & swerves, but still seemed weird. But besides that, none of the matches stand out and the only promos I really liked were the short one from EC3 earlier and Storm giving Magnus the helmet. Still, this show wasn’t too bad, and I am interested in where things go from here, so that’s good. I also think EC3 should officially be considered the #1 contender at this point, so we’ve got that to look forward to if he is. But as for this show, it was just overall underwhelming and unmemorable.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of tonight’s show or the review in the comments. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you later.


TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 5/1/15

Hey there guys and girls, I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the May 1, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. Hard to believe it’s already May, as the debut show on Destination America doesn’t seem that long ago. Anyway, tonight’s show was a special themed Impact “Hardcore Justice”. This really got me excited as TNA never does a themed Impact. So this was a really rare and surprising this to do. Anyway, let’s just start the review.

No Caption Provided

Now, they finally got a replacement for Taz on the announce crew, and it’s Al Snow. I wasn’t looking forward to this, and I was right to not be. He was not good. I’ve heard worse, but that’s not saying much. Anyway, now let’s really start the review.

Match #1 - Street Fight: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) & Davey Richards vs. The Revolution (Abyss, Koya, & Manik)

Match already starts with all 6 guys fighting on the entrance ramp as soon as the show starts. The match was okay I guess. Hardcore wrestling doesn’t interest me too much anymore, so that kinda hurt my opinion on the match. And the match could get a bit hard to follow with so many guys fighting all over the place. But it wasn’t bad at all, so I can’t complain too much. It also featured that

Finish comes when Jeff hits the Swanton on Abyss, getting the win.

Winners via pinfall: The Hardys (Jeff & Matt Hardy) & Davey Richards

After the match James Storm come sout and gets in Abyss’s face to yell at him, and actually slaps him this time.

Backstage with Matthews & Snow.

Backstage scene where Mr. Anderson is asked why he interrupted Ethan Carter III’s campaign announcement last week. Simple, it’s because he’s a bigger buzz kill than Buzz Killington.

He then talks about how boring the whole thing was last week and how he has his own sign and announcement he’s gonna make tonight. Maybe he’ll explain why he’s dressed so horribly? I think he’s trying to look like he’s running for office, but he just looks like some guy in mid-management in some sort of office job.

Announcement of Billy Corgan signing. They hype up how famous he is and all the recording stuff he’s done. But what does any of that have to do with running a wrestling company? Seriously, I don’t have any thoughts on this either way. I’m interested in what he’ll do as part of the creative team and it should be nice to have a fresh mind there, but he could easily fail. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Mr. Anderson comes out (in a different tie) and starts complaining about EC3‘s campaign announcement last week. He says that he doesn’t care about campaigns, and he cares about EC3 getting his @ss whopped. Just as he’s about to pull a sheet off a sign he has out, EC3‘s music interrupts and he comes out with Tyrus, who’s holding a great “EC3 2015 for Champ“ sign. Crowd didn’t react much to Anderson coming out, but EC3 got a great reaction which I liked seeing.

EC3 says that it sucks when someone comes out and interrupts a speech. EC3 says that he originated the idea of brining politics into wrestling and that the idea can never been copied or duplicated. Anderson asks EC3 if he wants to be the World Champ, and EC3 says yes, and Anderson says to go win it then. Anderson asks EC3 if he feels he should be champion because he’s undefeated, and EC3 says yes and that his undefeated streak is his most prized possession and he will never lose it. Anderson then takes the sheet off his sign, revealing it to say “Mr. Anderson Break the Streak” with a pic of EC3 with the crossed out logo over him. EC3 says to Anderson, “You will be nothing but a footnote on my rise to champion... champion.” That was awesome. Anderson says that on the live Impact next week, the match between them should happen, and that they’re gonna let the fans vote for the match type. EC3 says that they both know democracy doesn’t work, but if this is what it’ll take to shut him up, then fine, and warns him to “tread lightly”. Okay scene, but Anderson is annoying nowadays and needs to go away.

Also, a “USA” chant broke out when all people involved are American. Gotta love the Orlando crowd.

Match #2 - Ladder match for TNA X-Division Championship: Rockstar Spud (c) vs. Mark Andrews vs. Tigre Uno vs. Kenny King

What’s Tigre or Anderews won to get a title match? Kenny did pin Spud in a tag match a few weeks ago, but Andrews has been non-existent for a while, and when’s the last time Tigre won a match?

Decent match. Was a bit of a spotfest, but I thought it was a fun & enjoyable match. All guys did some impressive spots, my favorites being from Kenny & Tigre. Finish comes when Spud almost has the belt, but Homicide runs out and takes him out. Kenny then climbs up the ladder and gets the belt, winning the title. I’m happy with this move honestly. I like Spud, but his underdog character really doesn’t let him hold a title for a long time since he won’t be an underdog if he holds it too long. And as I’ve said in the past, I really like Kenny King and have wanted him to get more of a push, so an X-Division title run is nice to see. Hope he’ll use Option C, though I doubt it. Still great to see though.

Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Kenny King

It’s announced what the poll options are for next week’s EC3/Anderson match. Anderson wants a Falls Count Anywhere match, while EC3 wants an Arm Wrestling match, and you can vote at I went to vote (for Arm Wrestling obviously), and they didn’t show the poll results, which makes me think this is rigged. Still hoping for Arm Wrestling, but I doubt it unfortunately.

Video package for what’s been going on with Eric Young & Kurt Angle is shown. Shows how uninterested the feud is really.

Eric Young comes out with a stretcher. There’s not much to talk about this scene at all really. He’s just there to talk about what he’s gonna do to Kurt tonight in their stretcher match and just hype that up. Really feels like this was only done to fill some time. Also, I hate when crowds chant "What?" repeatedly during a promo. I have no clue when/where that originated, but it needs to stop.

Backstage the BDC is celebrating Kenny King’s X-Division title win. MVP says that the rumors of their demise have been greatly exaggerated, and something about Drew Galloway. He hands a pipe to Low Ki and says that this started with this (the pipe) in the UK and tonight Ki will finish this with it.

Spud is being talked to backstage and he’s very upset about losing the X-Division title. He talks about how guys like AJ Styles, Jerry Lynn, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Austin Aries, & Frankie Kazarian have held that belt and that if you were on that list (of guys who held it), you were one of the greatest of all time. Really? You do know that Robbie E, Brian Kendrick, Abyss, Amazing Red, & Homicide have held that belt, right? I don’t even have anything against those guys (I’m actually a fan of Robbie, and used to be a fan of Red when he was active), but they’re not one of the greatest of all time. Also, Spud is still on the list of guys who held it, so his problems makes no sense. I can understand him being upset about losing the title, but he should have worded this better.

Video package with Taryn Terrell & the Dollhouse, and they still make no sense. Taryn also just sounds terrible as a heel. Are we gonna get an explanation behind this group and Taryn joining it, or are we just supposed to accept it happened? I was hoping for something tonight, but this video would have been the place to do it and they didn’t.

Match #3 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Brooke

I was gonna complain about Brooke’s entrance since all she does is walk to the ring and shake her @ss to the camera, but that’s MUCH more appealing than the Dollhouse’s entrance. First off, do we need that “Dollhouse Production” video showing us all the members and saying “It’s Playtime” before they come out? And why do they do that twirling thing? What is the Dollhouse supposed to be anyway? Creepy I guess, but what actually are they? We’ve gotten no explanation for this stable yet. Even the Menagerie got an explanation, but not this group that they’re trying to push as relevant?

The match was terrible. Before I predicted this as the worst match of the year, and it’s easily a contender (for TNA at least). Some sort of shenanigans happen and Taryn gets the win, and for some reason the way she pinned Brooke seemed very sexual. Taryn, I don’t care what you do in your personal life, but can you keep this type of stuff off-screen and just do a normal pin?

Winner via shenanigans and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrell

After the match, the Dollhouse attack Brooke and Taryn gets the mic. Oh god, this is always the kiss of death. Taryn talks about how Kong couldn’t beat her, how Brooke couldn’t beat her (because that’s an accomplishment apparently), and how no one can beat her. As anyone could predict, Gail Kim comes out and says some generic stuff. Mic work has never been Gail’s strong suit, and that was showed perfectly here. Once again as anyone would predict, she ends up bringing out Awesome Kong, and those two are gonna team up to fight the Dollhouse. This seems really rushed. You could have had Gail fight Taryn and lose, leading to her realizing she needs help and calls in Kong. That’s about 3-4 more weeks they could have dragged this out, but the way they did here seems rushed.

Video package for the Rising. Still has that awful yellow tint to it that makes it look like they have jaundice. I’m here to stand up for good lighting!

Match #4 - Pipe on a Pole match - Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway

Been a while since I’ve seen a pole match. Rules to this are that there’s a pole set up with a pipe hanging from the top of it. Whoever grabs it is allowed to use it, but they didn’t explain whether you won by hitting your opponent with the pipe, if you win by pinning/making the other submit, or what the rules are. We later saw a pinfall attempt before someone grabbed the pipe, which makes you question why it was even necessary.

The match was okay. Probably the best Galloway match I’ve seen so far, but that’s not saying much. There’s a spot where Ki & Galloway are fighting over the pipe on the rope, and it gets knocked off and falls on the floor. Always laugh when little stuff like that happens. Galloway later on gets the pipe, and tries to use it but isn’t able to as Ki stops it. After a few more minutes of fighting, Galloway hits his weird DDT finisher on Ki on a chair and gets the win. So, a pipe on a pole match doesn’t actually involve a pipe being used at all? What kind of sense does that make?

Winner via pinfall: Drew Galloway

After the match the BDC comes out and attacks Galloway, but the Rising comes out and chases them off. Yeah, certainly didn’t see that one coming.

Video package of everything with James Storm & Mickie James is shown, and for some reason they show shots of Mickie walking in a field. Why? She looks lost and like she doesn’t know where she’s going. They also show a random shot of Storm walking in a cemetery, but at least he looks like a complete bad@ss when he does it.

They show a scene from earlier in the week where Mickie & James ran across each other in a parking lot (for a grocery store I think). The camera work reminds me of an old Paparazzi Productions video. Wish I was watching one of those right now instead of this. They talk for a moment and Storm asks to hold her baby, which he does. “There’s always room for one more in the Revolution.” He didn’t actually say it unfortunately, but I wish he had.

Magnus comes out to talk, but just as he starts James Storm’s music interrupts. They have a segment that just isn’t very good. I like both guys and know they can be great on the mic, but this storyline just isn’t very good. Magnus is complaining about Storm following Mickie around and using the crowd to manipulate her last week, while Storm talks about how paranoid Magnus is (or something) and how he’s having people follow Mickie around and film her, and something about Magnus should be discussing this with Mickie. Yeah, not a great scene. Both guys are capable of much more.

Angle is backstage and says some stuff where he tries to sound threatening to EY about the stretcher match tonight. He talked about how tonight Young is gonna see a fired up & angry Kurt Angle, but Angle just doens’t show the anger or intensity he used to and this just didn’t work. I was more focused on Kurt’s odd t-shirt this whole thing than what he was saying.

Match #5 - Stretcher match: Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle

This is a non-title match, but any reason why? Young’s ranked #1 in the Impact Top 5, so he’s the #1 contender and should get a title shot. Don’t get why he isn’t especially since he didn’t get it last week.

The match was okay I guess. Not much stands out really. I give them credit for being unpredictable as I expected an Austin Aries run in and it didn’t happen. Finish comes when Young beats Angle enough that Angle can’t fight back at all, so Young straps him to the stretcher and wins. He then grabs the title belt and puts it on Kurt for some reason. I’m still just confused why this wasn’t a title match, but I don’t feel like going into it more.

Winner: Eric Young

Overall Impressions:

This show was okay I guess. Wasn’t bad, but wasn’t that great either. Not much good in-ring aside from the ladder match, and really no promos stick out either. Still, it did keep me interested at least, which is more than some of the earlier Orlando shows did this year. I am looking forward to next week’s “live” show, so it’s good TNA got me looking forward to that. But as far as this show goes, it was just alright.

That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight’s show and/or the review in the comments.

And I’m not sure if you’ve seen these yet or not, but TNA has had these uploaded to their youtube channel and I loved them, so I’m gonna share them here:



TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 4/24/15

Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the April 27, 2015 edition of Impact Wrestling. This show is supposed to be a Knockouts themed show called “TKO”, which initially made me not excited about it, but they kept announcing more stuff that had nothing to do with the Knockouts, so it shouldn’t be all bad. Anyway, let’s start the show and review.

No Caption Provided

Also, for anyone curious, Josh Matthews is doing the commentary by himself again this week.

Kurt Angle opens the show and says that he’s scheduled to defend the world title against Eric Young tonight, and says that what he’s about to do is necessary so he calls out EY, who then comes out. Angle says that he made a plea about the old Eric Young returning, putting aside this lunatic and becoming the old Eric Young that the fans love and won the world title (and grabbed the old world title belt out of a trash can). Angle says that he wants to make sure who he’s fighting tonight. EY says that people have called him crazy his whole life, but that crazy led to the world title. EY says some more stuff that really wasn’t interesting, and basically says that tonight Kurt will be facing the “real” Eric Young.

Austin Aries’s music hits, and he comes out with the Feast or Fired briefcase. He basically says that the “real” Eric Young is the guy who turned his back on his best friend and cost him the world title. He then says some more stuff that wasn’t interesting and really weak for Aries standards, and basically says that tonight it won’t be Young/Angle for the title tonight, as he’s cashing in for the main event and it’s gonna be Angle/Aries as they put on “the greatest world title match in the history of our industry” (maybe 5 years ago they could have, but now, just no) and he will walk out as the world champion.

Wasn’t a big fan of this opening. While I like seeing Angle & Young feud since it’s something new, I don’t like this “old Eric Young” stuff. And Aries cashing in is stupid. Why would he announce ahead of time when he’s cashing in? Hasn’t his character shown to be smarter than this? And why does him cashing in stop EY from getting the title shot? He’s still the #1 contender. Shouldn’t EY then immediately face the winner of Angle/Aries? While thing just doesn’t make sense to me.

Taryn Terrell is backstage and says some really cringeworthy stuff. She sounds like a young kid playing wrestling than an actual wrestler.

Match #1 - Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Madison Rayne

Madison attacks Brooke as she’s walking up the entrance ramp, which I always like seeing. The match was... bleh. Not the worst match ever, but it’s what you’d expect and not memorable at all. Only one moment I even really remember which was all four women putting each other in submissions all at once. Brooke wins after hitting some move on Madison. Does anyone care?

Winner via something: Brooke

Video for the Rising. It was terrible as expected, but they had a yellow tint to the video for some reason which looks terrible.

Backstage someone asks Eric Young asks him how he feels about not fighting for the world title tonight. EY says he hates it and that everything has been taken from him or something like that. Yeah, everything’s been taken from him. Including his sleeves.

Match #2 - Rising Member vs. BDC Member

This is basically one Rising member (who we’re not aware of yet) against one BDC member (who we’re not aware of yet). The BDC’s flags are really out of place for the group, but the Rising’s music is terrible, so the BDC are still better. MVP ends up cutting a forgettable promo, and basically agrees to a one-on-one match against the Rising’s member, who’s revealed to be Mica. MVP says he just wants to take his sweats off, and starts to do it, before he & Low Ki attack Drew Galloway & Eli Drake and Kenny King goes after Mica. MVP says that he said a one-on-one match, but he never said against him. I thought that was pretty cool honestly.

So, it’s Mica vs. Kenny King. The match was... bleh. When Kenny King has problems getting a good match out of you, you know you have problems. Mica wins, but I honestly don’t even remember how. TNA needs to stop treating Kenny like a jobber.

Winner via something: Mica

Some other stuff happens and Homicide runs down and the Rising are beaten down or something like that.

Backstage Drake & Mica are carrying Galloway on his shoulders, and he says that he’s still standing up... even though he isn’t and is being carried. He then challenges Low Ki to a pipe on a poll match on next week’s show, which is yet another f*cking themed Impact, this one being Hardcore Justice. Galloway says that he already knows Ki accepts, and I guess the match is happening next week. So, a pipe on a pole match? Sounds very Russo-ish. I remember last year when they had James Storm/Gunner in a Briefcase on a Pole match I thought Russo was back, and I was proven to be right. So, if it’s announced within the next few months that Russo is back in TNA, I want you to remember that I told you.

Match #3 - Jade w/Marti Belle vs. Laura Dennis

Jade & Marti are the Dollhouse that we’ve seen weird videos for the past few weeks. Laura Dennis is known as Cherry Bomb on the indies and is pretty well-liked from what I’ve seen, and I believe Jade is known as Mia Yim (not 100% sure on that one though). The Dollhouse get angry at Hemme when she announced them as “Jade with Marti” and force her to say “the Dollhouse.” Not very original.

The match was... worse than the first one. I was not impressed at all. Neither of them looked that good to me. Jade is attractive, but so’s a lot of wrestlers; that doesn’t make them good. Laura didn’t impress me much either. I'd rather be watching the TV show Dollhouse, which is hard to believe coming from me.

Winner via DQ: Laura Dennis

After the match the Dollhouse get angry at Hemme for some reason and attack and beat her up. I’d feel more sorry for her if I didn’t know she was a trained wrestler that knew how to take bumps. But then again, even as an active wrestler Hemme never had any business being there.

Backstage Kurt Angle comes and talks to Eric Young, and says some boring stuff basically saying that he’s sorry Young isn’t getting the title shot tonight, while Young says he’s not even sure he wants to be there and walks off. Okay I guess.

Magnus comes out, because when I think of the knockouts I certainly think of Magnus. He says some stuff that reminds us how much better he is as a heel (and I liked him as a face in 2013, but this current run isn’t that great). He calls out someone not as his fiance or the mother of his wife, but one of the greatest female performers of all time.... then calls out Mickie James. Not sure what those things have to do with each other. Mickie says some generic sh*t about her career and basically gives a retirement speech, only for James Storm to interrupt for some reason. He then says some out of character stuff about how great Mickie is, and it eventually boils down to him getting her to agree to one more match. It was really dragged out for far too long. I am kinda curious to see where this goes, but it’s still so random that I can’t react much to it. Why are they brining Mickie into Magnus’s feuds? He’d be much better without her.

After commercials, we see a scene from backstage during them where Magnus walked up and saw Davey Richards, who warned him that Storm is the devil and not to trust him. Gee, the guy betrayed his parter, brutally attacks people with beer bottles, brainwashes people to join his cult, and injures people and brags about it isn’t a good person? What would we do without you Davey? Surely you’re even better than Sherlock Holmes when it comes to this stuff.

Match #4 - Davey Richards vs. Manik

Not much to say about this match, but it was pretty damn good. Manik is probably the most underrated talent in TNA right now (along with Kenny King & DJ Z). Manik also got a nice chant going. Maybe if TNA started to try doing something with him he could get really over and they could try to push him. But still a good match, though I wish it had more time. Davey gets the win here as expected.

Winner: Davey Richards

After the match The Revolution run down to attack Davey, but the Hardys come out to run them off. It’s about as interesting as it sounds.

Backstage we see Ethan Carter III & Tyrus, who’s wearing a nice hat and holding some balloons. EC3 is saying that tonight he’s making his announcement. Looking forward to it.

EC3 & Tyrus then comes out and gets a great reaction from the crowd. On Twitter he’s been hyping up an announcement for this show with the hashtag #EC32015, which I have now begun using on here. He comes out and there’s a podium in the ring for him to stand behind. This segment was just so good that I don’t know how to talk about it. It’s a segment I absolutely loved and recommend finding and watching, but I don’t want to go into huge details to ruin it for you. So it’s going to seem short and underwhelming with what I say, but trust me when I say it’s better than how I describe it.

EC3 basically says that 2015 is the year that he will become TNA World Heavyweight Champion, and basically treats the whole thing like he’s running for president (I guess). He goes over his credentials of going 19 months undefeated, beating every TNA Hall of Famer, etc. He continues on like this and is just generally awesome until Mr. Anderson comes out and ruins it by interrupting. He says something about EC3 doesn’t deserve the world title as he hasn’t done anything himself, and that titles are earned through blood, sweat, hard work, etc. Even though Anderson’s two title wins in TNA came by interference. Guess we’re just gonna ignore that fact. Anderson also mentions that he wrestled for 11 years before becoming champion, ignoring that EC3 has been wrestling for 11 years. They end up getting into a brawl, and EC3 ends up running off. I don’t like EC3 running away from Anderson, and Anderson is annoying anymore, but other than that this was a great scene. Easily the best scene of the night for me.

Backstage scene where Magnus walks up to someone (I guess a production guy) and asks him to keep an eye on Mickie for her, which he says he’ll do. So, Magnus is having someone stalk his fiance now? To quote Spike, “Sending your lackeys to do your stalking for you? That is really pathetic.”

Match #5 - TNA Knockouts Championship: Taryn Terrell (c) vs. Awesome Kong

Before the bell rings, Taryn wants to make it a no disqualification match, and it’s officially made a no DQ match. I guess Taryn somehow got the ability to book matches now? The ref did turn to Kong though and she didn’t object, so I guess that’s why?

Anyway, the match was short and pretty much nothing notable happened until the end. A table was set up in the ring and Taryn tried to put Kong through it with a cutter... can wrestlers please stop using a cutter as a finisher unless they’re Diamond Dallas Page? They can still use it, just stop making a big deal out of it like they do with Taryn. Anyway, Kong reverses it and gets Taryn on the table and goes to the top rope, but the Dollhouse comes out and starts beating Kong with Kendo Sticks. Taryn gets off the table and ends up powerbombing her through it, then pins and beats her. She then cuts a heel promo that was awful and is now part of the Dollhouse. They then celebrate. Well, this seems very Russo-ish. Did Taryn form the Dollhouse, or did she just join them? Why did Taryn turn heel when she was already doing successfully as a face? I understand that Taryn had problems beating Kong and needed some help, but there’s still some questions from this whole thing that we likely won’t get answers to. Also, does this make Kong a face?

Regardless, Taryn still isn’t that good in the ring and is terrible on the mic, and looks like she’ll be even more terrible as a heel. Taryn Terrell? More like Taryn Terrible, am I right? Okay, that was lame even for me.

Winner via swerve and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Taryn Terrible (I’ll stop now)

Match #6 - TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Austin Aries

My clock says 10:55 PM, meaning we’ve only got 5 minutes left in the show, so some sort of shenanigans are gonna happen obviously. And I’m proven correct as after Aries gets into the ring, Young immediately comes out and attacks him. He then keeps brutally beating on him and gets him outside the ring, and hits the Piledriver on him on the steel steps. Luckily Aries’s cape got in the way, so we couldn’t see when Aries’s head didn’t actually hit the steps. Bobby Roode tries to run down, but Young takes him down with one hit. Angle then comes out and tries to stop Young, but Young beats down on him too, takes his leg brace off, beats his leg with a chair, and locks in the figure four. Decent way to end the show; makes Young look good. Though the match never actually started, so I don’t think Aries officially cashed in. Young should have waited till the match started to run down, then Aries would have cashed in and wouldn’t have the case afterwards, yet Young still would have beaten him up.

Overall Impressions:

I feel like I should really be hating this show, as I think that’s the impression I gave. I only liked one match, and most segments I didn’t seem to care for (I clearly liked the EC3 segment and the Angle/Young stuff was okay), but I really didn’t hate this show. I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t bad at all and I enjoyed watching it, even if the quality wasn’t that high. I honestly don’t know what to say about this show overall since it’s confusing me. I’d recommend trying to find the EC3 segment, Davey/Manik, and possibly the final segment, but other than that you didn’t miss too much from this show if you didn’t watch it. Just remember what I said about Russo.

Anyway, that’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the show and/or the review in the comments below. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later.