TheCannon Reviews: Impact Wrestling 6/17/15
By TheCannon 5 Comments
Hey there guys and girls. I’m TheCannon, bringing you a review for the June 27, 2015 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. I know I’m a week late on this, but I wasn’t feeling up to writing a review last week and was busy for the next several days after. But I had time today, and what better way to celebrate my birthday then by re-watching and reviewing Impact? Hanging out with friends I guess, but for a loser who has none like me, was there a better way? Well clearly there was since I spent the day watching The Dark Knight Trilogy and waited until today to write it. Anyway, let’s get started.
Show opens with a tribute video for Dusty Rhodes, who passed away over a week ago. I thought this was a nice touch. R.I.P. Dusty.
Show opens with Mike Tenay in the ring with a contract for the contract signing, and calls out the #1 contender Ethan Carter III and his opponent TNA World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle. Tenay says that before the signing he’d like to get pre-match comments from the champion, but EC3 interrupts and says he’ll take this. EC3 begins saying that since he first walked backwards down that ramp he was waiting for this moment, being face to face with the best in the world. He says Kurt’s the best because he’s beaten the best, then goes on about how Kurt has defeated Heart Break Kids, Texas Rattlesnakes, Nature Boys, Superstars who were Rated R, etc. Just listing the nicknames to various guys Kurt’s beaten I guess. He then goes in to how Kurt’s beaten immortals and even people Kurt can’t see. He then starts listing TNA guys by saying he’s beaten Submission Machines, Charismatic Enigmas, Phenomenal Ones, Icons, and Kings of Mountains. EC3 then asks what they all have in common, then says they’ve all been beaten while he hasn’t, then says Kurt can’t beat him. He then kinda rambles about saying what he is to Kurt that basically boils down to him saying he’ll beat Kurt and end his reign. One would think he could just say that. He then says that the title belt is actually a big red, flaming torch that will be passed to EC3.
EC3 then signs the contract, and Kurt takes the mic and asks Mike how many of these he’s been to. Kurt says that’s what important: That he’s been here before and that the big matches were made for Kurt Angle, somehow. He then says that EC3 is talented (I would have said he’s very good, but maybe that’s just me). Kurt says that since EC3 is undefeated, he (EC3) thinks he (EC3) should be champion, and it comes off in a way that makes it seem like that’s an issue. If he’s undefeated, why shouldn’t he be champion, or at least get a title match? Kurt says “You have no idea, kid”. He then starts listing the guys EC3‘s beaten like Bully Ray & Sting, and EC3 points out he also beat Kurt. Kurt says that was in the past, and Kurt says that he still believes in his heart that he’s the greatest wrestler in the world today. Well, as a wise man once said, “It’s not a lie, if you believe it”. Kurt then asks EC3 what happens when he loses, and says EC3 is gonna have to look at himself in a mirror and it’s gonna haunt him for the rest of his life before wishing him luck and signing the contract. EC3 might not have cut his best promo ever, but he sounded so much better and nowhere near as lame as Kurt did here.
Mike Tenay says the match is now official, but they have both agreed to have matches over the next two weeks where they will pick the other’s opponent. Kurt takes the mic and says that he’s picked EC3‘s opponent, and after dragging it on longer than he should have, it’s revealed to be Lashley. Not surprising, but kind of a boring choice. Lashley’s music hits and he comes out on the ramp, but I’m not sure why since the match isn’t until later and Lashley did nothing here but flex and point at EC3.
Something I want to point out in this scene is that the announcers briefly mention that the title match is 14 days away, meaning it’s on the July 1 Impact. The question you probably have now is ,“Why are they this match then when there’s a PPV on June 28?” That would be a very good question. My understanding is that this match was originally set for Slammiversary and the segment mentioned that the match was only 9 days away, but they changed it after the tapings for it to be on July 1 instead. This might be them trying to pop a rating since this is the biggest match they can put on right now, but I don’t think it is. I think Destination America moving the show from Friday to Wednesday did this, as it caused them to have to change their taping schedule where everything is before Slammiversary, and I guess they didn’t want to have either guy with the title during the tapings before anyone saw the PPV? The solution I would have is to tape multiple outcomes for the match, but I guess they didn’t want to do that. This is just a guess from me though; I have no idea the reasoning for this, but whatever it is I find it ridiculous that the match is not at Slammiversary.
Video is shown recapping the Wolves/Dirty Heels Best of 5 series so far. I’ve liked the series so far, and this was a nice video, but I’m not sure what the pint is right now.
The Wolves’s music hits and they come out. Davey gets the mic and says something about the “Wolves Nation” and the crowd chanting “Wolves” for them. There is no Wolves Nation! Stop it! Even Eddie never brings it up! Davey says more stuff about him & Eddie always being together, whether it was in a Dojo in Tokyo or the worst arenas in the world in Mexico, and he just goes on until saying something about holding the TNA World Tag Team titles meaning you’re the best in the world. Davey then goes on about them putting The BroMans, The Hardys, & Team 3D in front of them and beating them. No mention of The Revolution for some reason. Davey then gets to the Dirty Heels, mentioning that they weren’t looking for the easy way out in the series and they wanted to see who was the best wrestling tag team in the world. It just goes on and one like this and is just boring. I mean no exaggeration when I say I’ve seen potatoes more interesting. I like The Wolves, but on the mic they’re just...
It essentially boils down to them bringing up Aries & Roode cheating to beat them a few weeks ago, and calling them out for Match #4.
The Dirty Heels’s music hits, and Bobby Roode comes out. Roode asks them if they think they’re calling the shots, and says that Austin Aries had a “Match of the Year” last week against Kurt Angle. Did Roode watch a different show than me? Roode says that Aries isn’t medically cleared to wrestle, and that since Aries & Roode are former World Champions, that they call the shots. Eddie then says sh*t that makes me want Davey talking again, and Eddie challenges Roode to a match against either Davey or Eddie. Roode asks “The IT Factor against one of the Wolves, right here right now?” and begins repeating “Right here right now” and getting the crowd to get excited before yelling, “No!”. That got me to chuckle. Roode then takes a moment says says he will agree to a match under the stipulation that the winner gets to choose the stipulation for Match #4 in the series. Eddie then decides he’s gonna face Roode since Roode hit him with a chair weeks ago. Wolves are boring, but Roode was entertaining in this scene. Looks like he’s getting some personality back after it was taken from him during his face turn last year.
Match #1 - Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards
Not much to say about this match. It was pretty good though. Nothing amazing, but it was a good & enjoyable match. There was a point that shows Josh Matthews doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about. I understand TNA doesn’t acknowledge when they used NWA titles, thus call Roode the longest reigning world champion in company history, but Josh called him a five-time World Tag Team Champion, even though he’s a 7-time world tag team champion. Would it have been that hard to say “seven-time” or “TNA World Tag Team Champion”? This is why we need Mike Tenay back.
Match itself though, as I said before, was pretty good. Finish comes when Roode spits in Davey’s face and Davey tries to get in, causing the referee to become distracted and hold him back. Roode then signals for Austin Aries to come running down with a chair. Yeah, cause no one called that or anything. Aries hands Roode the chair, but just before he hits Eddie with it, Davey grabs the chair which allows Eddie to get a roll-up and get the win. Again, good match.
Winner via pinfall: Eddie Edwards
After the match, Davey gets the mic and says this has gone on long enough, so the next match in the series is Full Metal Mayhem match. I was worried about 5 matches between these teams getting boring after a while, but adding that gimmick should stop that from happening. It seems weird though that they’re going Full Metal Mayhem for the fourth match instead of last. I suppose the series could end with the next match, but I wouldn’t think it will. Still, looking forward to it.
They show a hype video for Lashley, and it makes a comment about him “always being a spear away from regaining the championship”. What if he’s not in a title match though? How does that comment make sense?
Backstage Jeremy Borash is shown saying he’s supposed to talk to Bram’s opponent tonight, but no one’s there, but then Joseph Park shows up. He says some irrelevant sh*t and we find out he’s Bram opponent tonight. I wasn’t regularly watching during Joseph Park’s time, but my understanding is that he was Abyss’s lawyer brother who became a wrestler, and it was later revealed that Abyss & Joseph were the same person (in a split personality thing) and Joseph disappeared after Abyss made is once-every-few-months heel turn. So why is he back now out of nowhere? Could they really not pay Sonjay Dutt, Devon, Hernandez, or any former random mid-carder to show up to face Bram?
A video with Drew Galloway is shown and basically promotes the #ShowYourImpact thing on Twitter. Thankfully this is all we saw with him this week.
Match #2 - Bram vs. Joseph Park
Joseph gets on the mic before and starts saying things to Bram, but Bram just goes after him while he’s talking. Made me chuckle.
So apparently Bram facing old members of the Impact roster is gonna be a regular thing right now, which makes me think Crimson’s return last week was a one-time thing. I could be wrong, but it’s just what it looks like.
Some weapons like a chair & table get involved, but why? This was never advertised as a no DQ match or anything. It’s later said that Bram has asked that all these matches are competed under no DQ rules (isn’t that just ripping off what Raven did back in 1997?). Would it have hurt them to announce it as no DQ then?
Also, Matthews makes a comment about Joseph Park trending Worldwide on Twitter, but the commentary was taped before the show aired, so how would Josh know that? It seem stupid of him to say stuff like that.
As for the match itself... meh. Not much to say really. Wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t too impressed either. Bram wins after spearing Joseph through a table.
Winner via pinfall: Bram
Backstage(?) scene where Taryn Terrell is in Dollhouse Headquarters. Their entrance music (I think called Doll Parts) is playing in the background like always. Do they just sit there all day listening to that song on repeat? Taryn says that both Brooke & Awesome Kong want a shot at her Knockouts title and she wants them out of her life, so she set up a stipulation for the upcoming tag team match that if Kong & Brooke win than they got a shot at her Knockouts title, but if they lose they’ll never be able to challenge for it EVER AGAIN! That’s how she delivered it, so I wrote it like that to show how stupid it was watching it. Why would Taryn agree to this stipulation? The Dollhouse seems to be afraid of Kong and consider her a threat, and Brooke is the only person to beat a member of the Dollhouse so far, so why give them the chance to fight for the title?
We then get a video package that just shows some random shots of fire, a candle, fingers putting it out, and someone in a hood and it says stuff like “The World is Burning” and “For the wicked, Playtime is over.” Not sure what that was. “Playtime is over” makes me think it has to do with someone debuting/returning to fight the Dollhouse, and “For the wicked” made me think of Winter, but I could also see it leading to a Havok return (assuming TNA wants her after the recent Twitter fiasco). But honestly it’s too early to really be looking into it too much, so I’ll just wait and see what happens.
Match #3 - The Dollhouse (Jade & Marti Belle) w/Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke & Awesome Kong
Can someone please explain the Dollhouse stable to me? I still haven’t figured why Taryn turned heel, what their gimmick is supposed to be or why they act this why, why Jade looks like she’s about to shot porn, why Marti sucks on a lolipop, or anything about this stable. Regardless of how much I sh*t on the Rising, that stable at least mostly makes sense.
As for the match... what do you expect me to say? Jade & Brooke are hot is the closest thing to positive I can say. Kong just isn’t what she used to be, the other 3 women just aren’t good, it was a Dollhouse match so Taryn got involved too much, it started off as a huge clusterf*ck outside the ring, went on way too long, and just overall wasn’t a good or entertaining match. And the finish was way too predictable due to the stipulation set up. Finish comes when Kong & Brooke do some double team move and pin Marti. Meaning Kong & Brooke get a title match in the future. Was anyone surprised? Does anyone care?
Winner via pinfall: Brooke & Awesome Kong
Video showing what’s happened with Eric Young & Chris Melendez is shown. Melendez then comes out, gets in the ring and gets a mic.
“That’s not gonna be good for ratings.”
“That’s not gonna be good for anyone.”
Gotta love Melendez’s shirt. It’s completely grey, and in plain black text says “Army” on the font. Most generic shirt I’ve ever seen. Melendez says that when Young took off his leg he disrespected the whole military or uniform or something like that, and says that he wants a fight with Young and will be here week after week (and repeats that several times), then calls out Eric Young. Young comes out and begins praising him as an American hero, until then actually continuing the feud by saying he doesn’t care. He then goes on about how that chapter of Melendez’s life is over, and he’s the new general in this chapter, he’s at the top of the mountain in wrestling, and just stuff like that. It’s so boring. They eventually agree to a match next week.
I give Melendez credit for trying here, but his promo work just isn’t that good. I’ve heard far worse, but he’s just completely boring. Young did his best, but doesn’t have great material to work with. I also find it a bit ridiculous that Young went from feuding with Kurt Angle for the World title to feuding with Chris Melendez. I heard someone in the crowd shout out “EC3!”. Highlight of this segment.
Match #4 - Jessie Godderz vs. DJ Z
Jessie has some new singles music that sounds awful.
I got a nice WCW-vibe from this when Josh was talking about Magnus & James Storm instead of what was going on in the ring.
The match was... meh. It was kinda a squash match that Jessie dominated. I really didn’t like that at all since I find Zema to be much more talented than Jessie. Jessie wins when Zema taps out to a Boston Crab.
Winner via submission: Jessie Godderz
Jessie gets the mic afterwards, and asks Zema if he thought that was a mistake. Jessie begins insulting Zema & the crowd and says he only felt like them when he was with the BroMans. He then goes on about how good & better he is than the other BroMans, and makes a comment that he’s got the looks. Sorry Jessie, but you’re nowhere near as good-looking as Zema (without his current stupid hair), or even Robbie. And even with Zema’s hair he looks better. He goes on this sh*t for a while longer and it’s just awful. I liked Jessie in the BroMans and thought he pulled off the character well, but this just doesn’t work well for him to me. He tries going after Zema more, but Robbie E comes out and starts going after Jessie. They brawl for a minute and Robbie chases him off.
Wasn’t a big fan of that scene. I’m still confused why they split up the BroMans since their act was pretty good to me, and TNA’s really short on tag teams right now. They have The Wolves, but the Hardys are out until Jeff is healthy again, Aries might be leaving (heard his contract expires just after Slammiversary), the Revolution aren’t really teaming in the tag division anymore, the BDC never do, Spud & Mandrews haven’t teamed up in a while, etc. So splitting up the BroMans when they have barely any teams just seems like a dumb move to me. But besides that, why is Zema getting buried? I always thought he was far more talented in-ring than Robbie or Jessie, and while it could be debated whether his mic skills were better than Robbie (I prefer Zema but can understand preferring Robbie), they’re far better than Jessie’s. I guess it’s to try and push Robbie & Jessie as singles stars, but why? Jessie I don’t see as more than a mid-card or tag team guy (maybe in the future he could be more, but for now I don’t see it), and Robbie possibly could but it seems unnecessary to push him now. Just a move I don’t like or understand, and them not giving much time to this story hasn’t helped things.
Magnus comes out and says he’s gonna start cracking heads left & right until James Storm gets out there and faces him. Who’s head is he gonna start cracking? He’s a face so it wouldn’t make any sense for him to go after anyone in the crowd or the crew around the ring or anything. After calling him out for a minute and threatening security, Storm comes out. As Storm says stuff about Magnus looking like the bad guy and taunting him, Magnus tries to run down the ramp but James Storm pulls out a stroller and says Magnus should be careful about who watches his kid, but says he would never put his hands on a child and this was just some insurance. As Storm continues to talk and taunt him, Magnus eventually gets through security and starts beating on Storm. Security pulls him off, but Magnus goes back after him until being pulled off again. As Magnus takes out security again, Storm pushes the stroller off the ramp and Magnus runs after it, only to find out it was just a doll as Storm runs away. Really sad when TNA is stealing ideas from Blade: Trinity.
The scene... meh. I’ve said from the beginning that Storm is the only thing holding this storyline together, and even he’s barely doing it at this point. I really just want this to be over already.
Match #5 - Ethan Carter III w/Tyrus vs. Lashley
I don’t have much to say about this. It was okay I guess. Lashley looked strong like they always book him to, and I guess EC3 looked good by being able to hang with him. Finish got kinda ridiculous though. Tyrus interfered and kept taking out referees, and it got stupid. Why did referees know that one had been taken out and they had to come out as a replacement, but they didn’t know EC3 should be disqualified? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to have the referee taken out, Tyrus’s shenanigans, then the ref can be revived and EC3 can win? Why over-complicate this and make it more stupid.
After a sh*tload of shenanigans, EC3 gets the win. I would complain this kinda made him look weak and Lashley too strong, but this might be to lead into some sort of EC3/Lashley angle if/when EC3 gets the title. If that’s what they’re doing, then I’m fine with this. If it’s not, then I have to ask: Why TNA? Why would you do this?
Winner via shenanigans: Ethan Carter III
Might not have seemed it from the review, but I thought this was an alright show. Roode/Eddie was a good match and it forwarded some stories. Some stupid moments really dragged the show down though. I truly don’t have too much to say about this show though. I’ve seen far better, but I’ve seen far worse.
That’s it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m TheCannon, and I will see you guys and girls later (in a few hours probably).
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