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Bane's Top 5 Greatest DC Battles

As the masses thronged the streets to make their displeasure over IGN's 25 Best DC Battles list clear, many decided that they could do a better job. I am not one of them, primarily because I don't have the patience to write about 25 fights. Or even think of what my favorite 25 DC fights are.

I have enough patience to do five, though. The five battles below are culled from the Post-Crisis period of DC history, presented in a manner that is completely ripped off from inspired by @k4tzm4n's weekly Best Battles article. They had turmoil, emotion and meaning behind them all, but they looked cool, first and foremost. I've also tried to ensure no character had more than one appearance in this list, and kept the battles restricted to 1v1 scenarios.

Also I'm well aware of all the criticisms one can level at this list. "Not enough obscure characters," they cried. "Most of the fights are post-2000's, too." And so on and so forth. I really don't care. This is just my entirely subjective opinion on the matter.

#5: Wonder Woman vs Medusa --- Wonder Woman #210

This is a battle that never gets much attention, possibly because Rucka's run also featured the big Sacrifice fight between Wonder Woman and Superman and everyone goes crazy over that. That was nice and everything, but this battle in WW 210 has always been the highlight of Rucka's run for me. Divine machinations result in Wonder Woman facing off against Medusa in a battle to the death, arranged by Ares. Circe arranges for the fight to be screened live on every television across the globe, while Ares enchants the battlefield to ensure no one can enter or leave until one of the two combatants is dead.

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The two armor up and begin their fight, but Medusa quickly gains the upper hand as Diana's movements become uncharacteristically clumsy. The Gorgon knocks the Amazon flat on her back and subdues her, preparing to use her fabled gaze to turn Wonder Woman into stone. It doesn't really work out as expected....

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Wonder Woman discards her helmet, explaining that it made it hard for her to hear what was happening around her, and then proceeds to lay into Medusa while blindfolded.

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Unfortunately, it doesn't take very long for Medusa to rally and start overpowering Diana, shattering her sword, pulling off her protective blindfold and running her through in front of a horrified world.

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With seconds left until Medusa forces her to look into her eyes and be turned to marble forever, Diana makes a desperate play: she snatches up one of the serpents severed from Medusa's hair, and as the planet watches in shock, she uses the serpent's venom to permanently blind herself. Medusa is enraged at being denied her moment of victory, but Wonder Woman, now immune to the gorgon's gaze, ends the battle with one decisive strike.

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As this list goes on, you'll find that I'm a sucker for a fight with a cool ending scene, and this fight's got one of the coolest:

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What's so great about the fight with Superman, again?

#4: Orion vs Darkseid --- Orion #5

If you haven't read Walter Simonson's Orion, you are a bad person.

The fight between father and son on Apokolips features no words at all ---- Simonson lets his artwork do all the talking as Darkseid and Orion square off, with the combined masses of the twin worlds watching them. Orion makes the first move, and his preliminary tactics prove insufficient against Darkseid.

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To compensate for the lack of words, the entire fight is filled with some rather over-the-top sound effects. Anyway: Darkseid has Orion on the ropes for a while until the Dog of War gathers himself and reclaims some ground, pushing the fight onto even territory. Halfway in, the two start to channel some kind of Apokoliptian kung fu or something ---- to this day, I'm not sure what they were doing, but they strike fancy DBZ poses and then charge at each other for an epic collision effect.

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Father and son plummet to the ground, shaken but still rearing to go. It's Orion who recovers first, and while Darkseid is still gathering himself, he launches a brutal assault upon the dark god.

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Giving his father no time to recover and retaliate, Orion lands blow after blow, battering Darkseid down. Finally, Darkseid rears his head and unleashes his Omega Beams, seeking to end the battle, and his first born, with a single terrible blow. But Orion came prepared for such an eventuality, and creates a shield that deflects the Beams back at Darkseid, seemingly destroying the tyrant with his own power.

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Cue badass ending image:

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#3: Sodam Yat vs Superboy-Prime ---- Green Lantern Corps #18

Set in the backdrop of the Sinestro Corps' invasion of Earth, GLC 18 features Superboy-Prime, now a Herald of the Anti-Monitor, in a battle against Sodam-Yat, now one of the most powerful Lanterns in the universe courtesy of becoming the new host of the Ion entity. Within 22 pages, Kryptonian and Daxamite do their best to beat each other to death over the Brooklyn skyline.

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As things start out, the fight seems pretty even, but things quickly turn disastrous for Sodam as a blow from Prime sends him flying into a nuclear power plant. The plant's high concentrations of lead, a fatal weakness for Daxamites, lower Sodam's power level. Prime takes advantage of this and runs him through with a spent uranium rod. When Sodam tries to return the favor, things get weird....

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From there on out, the fight just gets worse and worse for Sodam, culminating in a final clash in an old graveyard. Prime taunts Sodam for being incapable of stopping him, even going so far as to heat-vision childish insults onto tombstones. Spare a thought for Yat's frustration here; he lashes out at the super-powered troll, but to very little avail. The only thing he gets in return is his opponent promising to give him the same fate he'd given so many of Yat's comrades before him.

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With Sodam's power fading, the fight quickly becomes a one-sided curbstomp as Prime's immense strength and speed crush the Lantern, until Sodam is left broken, bleeding and barely alive.

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Cue final image:

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#2: Flash vs Zoom --- The Flash #199-200

Of all the battles featured on this list, none are more personal than the clash between Flash and Zoom in Geoff Johns' Blitz arc.

Former FBI agent Hunter Zolomon, once a close friend of Wally West's, was crippled by Gorilla Grodd during a breakout from Iron Heights. Zolomon asked Wally to use the cosmic treadmill to go back in time and stop Grodd from crippling him, but Wally refused, citing the dangers of tampering with history. The experience convinced Zolomon that Wally did not have the conviction or strength of purpose to be the best hero he could be, since in his mind, there was no line a real hero would not cross if it meant saving someone's life.

Zolomon idolized Barry Allen, the first Flash, for breaking his code of ethics and killing Eobard Thawne to save his wife. Believing that Wally needed to be tested by tragedy the way Barry had in order to become a better hero, Zolomon (after his transformation into Zoom) attacked Wally's family, culminating in a now infamous moment where he snapped his fingers in front of Wally's pregnant wife Linda, creating a shockwave that sent her to the hospital in critical condition.

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Shortly after Linda is taken to the hospital, Zoom appears again and attacks Flash. Jay Garrick and Bart Allen lend their own speed to Wally to make him faster, but even so, the Fastest Man Alive is unable to keep up with Zoom's time-fueled speed. Overpowering Wally again, Zoom coldly tells him that Linda has suffered a miscarriage, and that his children-to-be are gone.

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As the Flash reels with grief, Zoom reveals the next stage of his plan: now that he's provided the tragedy, it's up to Wally to use this "learning moment" and end Zolomon's life, thus teaching himself that the only way to keep innocent people safe is the most permanent solution available.

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Zoom's vastly superior speed leaves Wally helpless against him, until Jesse Quick shows up and gives all of her speed away to the Flash. Now the field is level, and the two speedsters go toe-to-toe in a battle that sends them soaring across the planet with every punch thrown.

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The battle finally ends when Flash grabs Zoom's head and forces him to merge with a rift in time caused by Zoom's manipulation of the timestream. This freezes Zoom in suspended animation, forcing him to silently relive one of his worst memories over and over again. Wally's relieved that the ordeal is over......until another nearby rift reminds him of what he's lost.

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#1: Batman vs Jean-Paul Valley ---- Legends of the Dark Knight #63

It's here! CitizenBane's #1 Best DC Battle!

This fight signaled the conclusion of the long, winding Knightfall saga, a story that started out strong, lost its way a couple of times near the middle, but, at least as far as I'm concerned, ended on a perfect note with this confrontation between the original Batman and the man who took on his mantle after Bane broke Wayne's back.

The responsibility of being Batman coupled with Jean-Paul Valley's severe mental issues drove him over the edge, and he became a darker, more brutal Batman, willingly letting criminals die and tarnishing the reputation of the original Batman. After getting his back healed and his skills honed, Bruce returns to Wayne Manor and confronts a delusional Jean-Paul, who believes himself to be the real Batman and Wayne an imposter. Batman tries to tell him the truth, but JPV doesn't handle that spectacularly.

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Bruce maintains his calm and firmly orders JPV to take off the Bat-armor, but JPV refuses and opens fire with a wrist-batarang launcher. By the time Bruce blocks the projectiles with the broken portrait of his father, Jean-Paul has already escaped into the Batcave.

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Bruce follows him into the Batcave, and yells to JPV across the vast chamber, telling him that Batman is fiction, an imaginary persona, a mask adopted by night and discarded by day. At first, Jean-Paul thinks he's hearing all this from the voices in his head, but then spots Batman and tries to lure him out with the promise of a truce. Batman tries to reason with Jean-Paul again, but the schizophrenic attacks him, roaring that he is the real Batman because he has to be; without the cowl, he does not know what he is.

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The two Batmen go toe-to-toe for a while, with JPV's armor giving him a big physical edge even as Bruce's agility keeps him in the game.

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With only one card left to play, Batman lures Jean-Paul into a narrow space, forcing him to discard pieces of his bulky armor to follow Bruce. One by one, the pieces of the armor come off, until only his helmet remains. Batman lets light flood into the narrow space, temporarily blinding Jean-Paul; as he removes his helmet to compensate, he is struck by the sight of the real Batman standing before him, and admits defeat.

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This fight isn't as flashy or action-packed as the others on the list, but it holds a lot of meaning and redemption for both men. Batman shared some of the blame for JPV's spiral into insanity, having placed an immense burden on the shoulders of a man who wasn't ready for it. In doing so, Denny O'Neill had Bruce pave the way for JPV's reconciliation with the Batclan and rehabilitation.

So yeah, those are my favorite DC Battles of all time. I guess this is the part where I ask what yours are?


Swamp Thing crossovers in issue 22

Not actual crossovers, or even with conventional characters, but this was one of two issues this week that had art that really caught my eye. The first one was Sorrentino's GA with its beautiful spreads and trippy imagery; the second was Kano's Swamp Thing #22, which had alright art overall ---- but in a few places, it was a little noteworthy.

First there's a panel with John Constantine, who's the spitting image of Gordon Ramsay. Complete with the frown lines on his forehead and everything!

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Then there's a couple of pages that are more or less PG-13 versions of scenes you could find in any Crossed comic:

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Because Batman/Superman is so passé

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Why hasn't this teamup happened before? It's an oddball pairing, but then again, aren't those the best kind? There was a backup in an earlier issue where they shared minds and J'onn remarked that Selina wore "almost as many masks" as he did, while Selina for her part felt completely alienated and out of her element among J'onn's memories of life among the stars. I liked it, but I thought it was just going to be a one time thing. Seems like they might play off each other some more in upcoming issues. I'm all for it.


J'onn and Javik

This is mostly a collection of rambling thoughts on a similarity I found between two characters. I was wondering if anyone else felt the same vibe from Javik.

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Those of you who have played the From Ashes DLC for Mass Effect 3 should know who Javik is; for those of you who haven't, crash course: the Mass Effect universe has these cycles of evolution where after the galaxy's races reach a certain level of technological advancement, a race of mechanical gods called Reapers show up to annihilate them and set the galaxy back to zero, so that new races can emerge, evolve and start a new cycle. This goes on indefinitely. In the current cycle, humanity shares the galaxy with races like the asari, turians, krogan, batarians et al. All of these races acquired the knowledge and technology to travel the galaxy at FTL speeds and build a common galactic civilization from the ruins of the race that was annihilated by the Reapers in the previous cycle: the Protheans.

The Protheans fought the Reapers for hundreds of years before they were overwhelmed and driven to extinction. However, some Protheans made plans to survive the war and rebuild after the Reapers departed. They built stasis pods within which a million soldiers would sleep, and after the war was over, they would awaken and attack the Reapers while they were caught unawares. But a lot of spanners were tossed in the works, and as a result Javik's pod was the only one that survived the war. Its automated reactivation capability was broken, so Javik was forced to remain asleep for 50,000 years until a new civilization found him and activated the pod. This should summarize the whole story:

The alien-pod-from-a-doomed-world-crashes-down-on-human-soil idea would seem to take a few cues from Superman's classic origin, and if I'm going to bring up comparisons between Javik and J'onn, it's worth noting that being the "Last Son of the Prothean Empire" is something that would stand Javik in good stead with several characters from the DCU, filled as it is with Last Sons: Last Son of Krypton, Last Son of Mars, Last Son of Czarnia, Last Son of Bolovax Wik, and (most recently) Last Son of Korugar as well. Buuuuuut running around with Javik for the rest of the game, I started to think he had more in common with MMH.

On the face of it, they have two very different personalities, even setting aside the debate about what kind of person DCnU J'onn is. Martian Manhunter was, traditionally, the wise old man of the Justice League; he'd frequently give advice to the younger members (Gypsy, Wally West, Kyle Rayner et al; although pretty much everyone was younger than him, seeing as J'onn was thousands of years old) and he was a mentor to some of them. Javik, on the other hand.....when he wakes up in the modern world and looks at Shepard and the Normandy's crew, he immediately laments that he is "surrounded by primitives". He's not a team player by any standard of the term. He's from a time when all of the galaxy's major races were just about beginning their climb up the evolutionary ladder (humans used to live in caves, salarians used to eat flies, etc), so despite all the advances since then, he can't help but condescend to everyone around regardless of their intellect since he's seen the primordial mud that they all crawled out from. When Liara T'Soni, an asari archaeologist considered to be the galaxy's foremost expert on Prothean culture, tells Javik she'd like to hear his firsthand version of what the Prothean Empire was like so that she can write a book about it, Javik just finds her amusing because he remembers a time when the asari couldn't count past their toes.

There are similarities in their powers, however. Javik possesses a form of extrasensory perception that allows him to read memories and emotions just by touching other people, or walking around places that they've lived in. Start from 5:23 on the video below:

Javik remarks that for his people, it was a way to transmit knowledge and information to each other in seconds, with a mere touch.That kind of networked knowledge-transference is something DC's Martians have been shown to live by in many accounts of their culture ---- including the most recent one in the new 52:

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The moment from Mass Effect 3 that really pointed me towards these comparisons with J'onn is a conversation with Javik on the Citadel where he remarks that he is "walking among the young".

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Additionally, his character class in the game is called "Vengeful Ancient", making him, effectively, an ancient walking among the young. And isn't that exactly what J'onn is, an ancient walking among the young? Martian Manhunter is an old, old, old man serving on a team whose ages could be all added together while still not reaching a fraction of J'onn's years.

They're both voiced by African voice actors; J'onn in the DCAU by Carl Lumbly, who has Jamaican roots; and Javik by a Nigerian voice actor named Ike Amadi. As a result they both have accented speech that differentiates them immediately from the rest of their colleagues. Pretty much everyone else in the animated JLA has a Caucasian speech pattern. Mass Effect's speech patterns are more diverse to reflect the fact that most of the cast is made up of aliens, but for the most part it's a Caucasian speech pattern with a few tweaks here and there. The asari sound just like regular humans, the quarians have slightly accented faux-Russian (I think) accents, turians and batarians have gruffer voices, the drell have a rasp underlying their words, the elcor speak slowly and ponderously.....hell, the freaking geth still sound like robotic Caucasians. Javik's accent sets him apart from the rest of the alien cast. He is the Other in more ways than one, similar to how J'onn is and always has been the Other; alien, but not the popular Superman-type alien whose appearance inspires a confidence born of familiarity.

Finally, there's a story that takes place during the DC One Million saga that describes J'onn's future battles --- including a 20,000 year long war against a machine race called the Swarm, that traveled from world to world destroying planets and civilizations in much the same way as the Reapers.

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That hope that J'onn has, that humanity would have evolved enough in the 20,000 years that he was fighting the Swarm to stop them when they came to Earth? Javik said the Protheans had the same hope for the asari while the Reapers were destroying their Empire --- they hoped that if they retreated from the asari homeworld of Thessia and kept the Reapers' attention away from them, the asari would evolve enough to destroy the Reapers during the next cycle.

Those are all the thoughts on the subject I had.



I have decidedly mixed feelings over this. On the one hand, Milligan's run was crap for the most part. I hated virtually all of his characters. His Apollo was an imbecile who yelled out every move he was going to make for no reason whatsoever, his Midnighter's entire character alternated between two equally tiresome states of being ("Apollo! I have feelings for you but we cannot be together!" and "Rawr, I'm a psychopath!"), his Hawksmoor was completely useless and never did a single damn thing worth mentioning, and perhaps most criminally of all: his Engineer was conflicted about being half-woman, half-machine. The original (read: real) Engineer was a genius fangirl who made herself half-woman, half-machine because she wanted to be a superhero more than anything else. She took pride in being something more than human. I realize it's a new continuity and therefore the old (read: good) parts of the Wildstorm characters don't need to apply......but that aspect of Angie Spica was refreshing in a universe with people like Cyborg and Red Tornado who continually mope about being inhuman.

On the other hand, Starlin is a decent enough writer, experienced in the cosmic side of comics, so there's reason to believe he'd be better at the job than Milligan. Fingers crossed for that. Pluuuuuuuus, the original Bryan Hitch Apollo/Midnighter costumes are back!

So long, chinspike, you won't be missed
So long, chinspike, you won't be missed

New versions of Apollo and Midnighter? I'm fine with that. The previous ones were trash. But "Jenny Soul" sounds like a magic-oriented character, and I'm not terribly fond of those. I miss chain-smoking, foulmouthed, teenage Jenny.

Starlin's interview on Newsarama said DC asked him to hop on board with this to revive the title since it wasn't working out. The fact that they didn't just outright cancel it is a bit promising, I guess.


Martian Manhunter respect thread

Just posting this here because once images are stored on CV's server, they're easier to transfer to other places; plus I cannot stand photobucket's interface. Also J'onn is vastly underrated so it can't hurt to have it here. Enjoy.

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Justice League of America #256: J'onn momentarily connects with the mind of Adam, a cultist who attained vast reality warping powers by stealing the genetic imprint of the Homo magi and connecting with an entity called the Godhead (described as being the embodiment of all that was, is, and will be).

Justice League of America #257: Bonds Adam's mind to his own to keep him calm and stable and ensure the safety of Zatanna and Gypsy as they shrink into Adam's consciousness to fix him. The fourth scan is an example of how powerful Adam was: he could warp reality, alter time and destroy/recreate worlds just by getting upset.

Justice League #6: Fistfight with Captain Marvel when Batson was possessed by a sorcerer called the Gray Man. Note that the only power he uses here is brute strength. The fight probably would have been a lot easier if some phasing and shape-shifting had been tossed in, but writers rarely got creative with J'onn's powers back then. At any rate, Batson gets the advantage near the end until the possession ends, and then J'onn gets back up and knocks him out with a hard uppercut. It's possible and perhaps even logical to attribute the advantage Marvel acquired to the fact that J'onn was fighting two battles at once, not just one: while he was physically tussling with Billy he was simultaneously fighting (and winning) a psychic battle to free Marvel and Dr. Fate from the Gray Man's control. The last scan is a visual of how the Gray Man could slowly take control of the entire planet to put the feat into perspective. Managing to take control of Dr. Fate requires considerable psychic power as well.

Martian Manhunter #4: This one is kinda weird; it's revealed that J'onn's mind was subconsciously keeping the souls of the entire Martian race (all of them telepaths) stranded on the living plane and unable to move on to the afterlife. He finally lets go and the Martian god H'ronmeer takes them away.

Cosmic Odyssey #2: Connecting with the mind of the New God Metron.

Justice League of America #40: J'onn's one and only win over Despero, admittedly via a plot device Martian power that was never seen again. J'onn even states that it's a one-time thing and can't be done again.

Justice League of America #61: The Weaponmaster fights and swiftly defeats several Leaguers (Maxima, Guy Gardner, Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Superman, Fire and Ice) until J'onn appears in his Bloodwynd form. Lacking a proper response for his abilities, the Weaponmaster flees.


Slight digression to elaborate on J'onn's phase as Bloodwynd. The Blood Gem had attached itself to J'onn and tricked him into thinking he was Bloodwynd, so he changed his appearance into that of Bloodwynd while the real Bloodwynd was trapped inside the Gem. Accordingly, J'onn in his Bloodwynd phase would attribute most of his powers to those of Bloodwynd (for example, while using his natural Martian strength he would say "Spirits of the dead, give me strength!"). Once separated from Bloodwynd, J'onn clarified that most, if not all, of the powers and feats Bloodwynd displayed were just his own natural Martian abilities with some pseudo-mystic language and flowery descriptions attached to them.

Moving on......

Justice League of America #64: J'onn/Bloodwynd breaks through Starbreaker's (the dude who can consume the energy of suns like J'onn consumes cookies) psychic defenses and probes his mind to uncover his history until the latter manages to eject him with some effort.

Justice League of America #64: In the same issue, while absorbing the League's energies, Starbreaker states that J'onn's power exceeds Superman's. That places him only one rank below Batman, so not bad, all things considered.

As for the credibility of the source, Starbreaker can eat goddamn suns, so I'd say he's familiar with power.

Justice League Task Force #27: J'onn's Martian vision can damage the Ray (who is intangible in his energy form) by scattering his atoms where it strikes.

Justice League Task Force #28: Hands Triumph the pink slip, the old fashioned way.

What, old school employers didn't beat their employee like a dog before firing him/her? Madness.

To put this into perspective, here are some of the things Triumph has done: knocking Maxima away with one punch and later taking on several members of the Justice League and winning; Superman needed help from Steel to finally beat him.

He could also draw upon the power of the entire planet's electromagnetic sphere, generate EMP's, manipulate technology and energy signals and amp his strength to the point where he could duke it out with folks like Kal-El. His powerset was essentially a Superman/Magneto hybrid with a few alterations here and there to reflect the electromagnetic origin of his abilities.

Justice League Task Force #31: Gypsy remarks that J'onn could kick Superman's butt. She's not really an authority on what it means to be powerful; nor is her perspective unbiased since she and J'onn were like peas in a pod -- but I cherish the times when DC writers make these kinds of statements, so bear with me here since there are going to be more of them in this thread.

Justice League Task Force #32: Ejected out of a spaceship moving at eight times the speed of light (stated as such on the first scan), J'onn flies after it and after not being able to bridge the gap, he instead pulls himself up to the ship with a telekinetic grip and then phases through the back. Effectively reacting to tag and take action to something moving at eight times the speed of light.

Justice League Task Force #37: Triumph starts a fight and Maxima, Bronze Tiger, Gypsy, Blue Beetle and a few others join in. J'onn stops them with one telepathic word. Notable because Maxima is among them, and she's among DC's more famous telepaths when she's not trying to get knocked up by Superman.

Martian Manhunter Special #1: Stated to have traveled across innumerable light years, which would necessitate FTL flight.

JLA: Secret Files #1: Defuses a twister with his speed and later creates a substitute for uranium miners in his spare time. Because he can do stuff like that.

JLA: A Midsummer's Nightmare #2: Telepathically scouring the minds of everyone on Earth; nearly all of them had superpowers courtesy of Dr. Destiny's reality warping.

JLA: A Midsummer's Nightmare #3: Phasing through a force-field that tanked hits from Superman and Green Lantern.

Green Lantern #87: Telepathically taking control of a spaceship three times the size of Manhattan via its dual mechanical/organic interface and diverting its course away from Earth and towards Mogo.

Wonder Woman #125: Shapeshifts into an exact duplicate of Wonder Woman, phases into her body such that their cells were perfectly aligned, and then converting a massive jolt of electromagnetic energy from Bluperman into psychic energy.

JLA #11: Shapeshifts his own brain into a particular shape in order to make himself as insane as the Joker.

JLA #15: Forces the Joker to become sane for a while. Joker at the time was in possession of the Worlogog, an object that can warp time and space on a massive scale (Hourman has used it to freeze an entire universe still, and Extant has repeatedly used it to make reality his b!tch) and was using it to create a ten thousand mile earthquake on the Earth from the Moon. J'onn stepped in and cut off his thoughts from the Worlogog, allowing Flash to snatch it out of his hands.

JLA #20: Taking action at speeds faster than thought alongside Superman, Flash and Hippolyta. They were moving so fast Orion, Barda, Steel and Kyle Rayner were standing still, although Hippolyta needed a speed boost from Wally since she's not as fast as her daughter.

JLA #21: J'onn was the only member of the League who could shield his mind from the telepathic En'Tarans, who enslaved the rest of the League as well as the entire population of the planet Rann.

JLA #23: Earth is attacked by several Star Conquerors, each one capable of putting an entire continent the size of North America to sleep. J'onn protects Aquaman when one of them starts to invade his mind, and later broadcasts a counter-frequency that forces all the Star Conquerors to leave Earth.

DC One Million #2: Containing the spread of the Hourman virus inside his body so that it would not alter his behavior. The Hourman virus was a disease potent enough to debilitate the mindsets of people like the Justice Legion (including Superman One Million, Aquaman One Million and Wonder Woman One Million), Firestorm and the Metal Men.

Martian Manhunter #0: Switches off his telepathy to become immune to a wall of fire, and then fights his brother Malefic. He eventually defeats him (although he considers it a loss since he wanted to die).

Examples of what Malefic is capable of: beating up Aquaman, Steel and Huntress without even trying to really hurt them (he was pretending to be J'onn to defame him in the eyes of the League), decking a running Flash while invisible, one-shotting Barda (while pretending to be Superman) and dodging Orion's blasts while remarking that the New God was too slow to hit him, beating up Plastic Man and taking his form.

Martian Manhunter #2: Absorbs mass and metal debris to grow over a hundred feet tall with an armored coating.

Martian Manhunter #3: Uses telepathy to force Bette Noir, a psychic vampire who exists in an energy form, back into her deformed body.

Martian Manhunter #4: Scans the minds of everyone on Earth to find the person who killed his partner on the police force.

JLA: Year One #2: Schooling Clayface on proper shape-shifting.

JLA: Year One #7: His best Tony Stark impression.

JLA: Year One #8: Quickly escaping from a construct-cage created by Hal Jordan, presumably via invisibility + intangibility.

Martian Manhunter #7: Forced into a confrontation with the JLA by his evil brother Malefic, J'onn takes hits from Superman, Barda, Wonder Woman and Orion one after the other and not only does none of that even slow him down, he is able to combine his shape-shifting with his strength to manhandle Wonder Woman, Orion and Barda simultaneously as well as prevent Aquaman from being able to harm him before leaving to make sense of the whole situation.

Martian Manhunter #8: Regenerates his entire body from a severed arm that he'd placed a backup consciousness in.

Yes, he can do stuff like that!

JLA Annual #3: One of Grodd's machines turns the JLA into gorillas (please don't ask) and J'onn is the only one who can maintain his personality and not go completely feral. The rest of the League (Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash and Aquaman) can't, so J'onn gives them a telepathic bitch-slap to remind them of who they are and then they go back to the Watchtower.

JLA Annual #3: Later on, they regress back to being apes mentally and Superman, Flash and Aquaman try to court Wonder Woman, so it falls on J'onn to give them yet another telepathic bitch-slap. The slave of duty and all that.

Martian Manhunter Annual #2: Gorilla Grodd builds a device that amps his telepathic powers to the point where he's above J'onn in sheer psychic ability; but the Martian still beats him anyway by literally talking Grodd into giving himself brain damage.

JLA #35: Enters the Spectre's mind and forces him onto the astral plane, pulling the rest of the JLA along for the ride.

Martian Manhunter #13: Phases through a White Martian's Martian vision beams.

JLA #40: Breaks through Mageddon's psychic defenses to reach Superman.

JLA #41: Breaking through Mageddon's telepathic defenses again to connect Batman to Superman.

This is one of J'onn's more impressive telepathy feats because Mageddon was an extremely powerful telepath. To put the feat of getting past its psychic defenses into perspective, these are some of the things Mageddon has done: practically destroying Hector Hammond's (a planetary-scale telepath) mind, causing two wars to break out in the space of five minutes, forcing an entire planet full of the Old Gods (a single Old God could reality warp everyone on Earth to give them powers) to kill each other, driving everyone on Earth out of their minds with rage and fear and making them go to war, and with the exception of that last feat, all the others were done while Mageddon was light years away from its target.

Hourman #16: Joker uses Kanjar-Ro's sceptre to make J'onn and Flash go crazy and then makes them fight. They have a high-speed slugfest where J'onn goes blow-for-blow with Barry. Going blow-for-blow with a Flash in a state like that is a speed feat that very, very few have ever been able to replicate; and all of those few are either high-level speedsters themselves or Hunter Zolomon.

JLA: Superpower: Shutting down Antaes' power suit by phasing through it.

Martian Manhunter #19: Defeats New God and master assassin Kanto in armed combat.

Martian Manhunter #20: Telepathically coaxing information out of Superman's Kryptonian rocket.

Martian Manhunter #23: Scanning the mind of Jim Corrigan and briefly viewing the true face of the Spectre.

JLA #50: Scanning the mind of Dr. Destiny. J'onn initially thought that he was being blocked by Destiny since he could only see dream-images, but later realized that he had actually succeeded in getting past Destiny's shields and reading his mind; the dream-images were caused by Destiny's dream-self swapping places with his real self.

Destiny is an uber-powerful reality warper, which makes scanning his mind another one of J'onn's high-end telepathy feats. To put the feat into perspective, these are some of the things Destiny has done: plucking nightmares out of the minds of several people (including Riddler, Two-Face and Starman) and turning them into reality, driving everyone on Earth mad with his thoughts, warping the entire planet to create a new world where characters were mash-ups, creating multiple alternate realities from dreams.

JLA #51: Another high-end telepathic feat: inducing a telepathic hallucination in the mind of Joseph Stinton, a man who had been made borderline-omnipotent by sixth dimensional beings to the point where he could turn his every whim into reality, and holding it long enough for Flash and Superman to conduct brain surgery on him to cut off his access to his powers.

Stinton's sole feat is BFR'ing Superman to Saturn in the blink of an eye and he was stated to be able to remake the world with a thought; but there are several other feats from the 6D beings that illustrate the scale of the reality warping involved: turning an entire city into chocolate, resurrecting Metamorpho, randomly turning the subconscious desires of people all over the world into reality, blinding everyone in an entire city, turning Wonder Woman into clay.

JLA #53-54: The same nigh-omnipotent 6D beings unleash a blast that KO's Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman et al immediately, but J'onn manages to be the last one standing and remain conscious long enough to download all the details of the confrontation into the minds of the alternate League.

Martian Manhunter #24: Shape-shifts into the Hulk!

JLA #55: Nine White Martians who had absorbed the brain matter of human psychics to amplify their telepathy to the point where they could use it across light years attack J'onn. They subdue him physically but even their combined efforts cannot break through his mental shields.

JLA #57: Killing two White Martians by phasing through them and attacking their hearts. While these two were nameless, standard displays of power from White Martians should disabuse any notion that they were just fodder --- there's a separate section below the respect section called Generic Martian Capabilities that illustrates what even nameless Martians can do.

JLA #57: Using his speed to blitz several towers on every continent and take out numerous White Martians in the space of a few seconds. These same Martians easily stomped every hero on Earth and were blitzing Wonder Woman and Green Lantern ---- but all of that is for the Generic Martian Capabilities section.

JLA #58: Mind-wiping the entire Justice League.

Martian Manhunter #35: Defeating his brother Malefic in a telepathic battle.

Action Comics #774: Pulls Superman onto the astral plane and into his mind with a single thought and holds a conversation within a sixth of a second.

JLA #64: Telepathically keeping the god Vishnu asleep so that he wouldn't wake up and end the universe.

In this story, the beliefs of people all over the world were becoming reality, and it was a universe-wide event. Aside from the other two events mentioned in the above scan (transforming the moon into green cheese and reigniting the American Civil War), there are several other events caused by the reality-warping effect that lend credence to the idea that Vishnu could have ended the world/universe if he had woken up: fundamental tenets of mathematics were rewritten, the Earth became the center of the universe, the Earth became flat, a statement from Wonder Woman that the universe was nearly unraveled.

Effectively, J'onn's telepathy saved the world and/or universe.

JLA #75: Pulls the Earth along with Superman and Wonder Woman.

JLA #83: The beginning of J'onn's Fernus period, where he lost his fear of fire and thus all his restrictions on his own power. The downside is that he went insane and manifested a new personality called Fernus and became a Martian murder machine, but more on that later. The first thing he did was force everyone in Arkham Asylum, including the Joker, to become sane.

JLA #83: The second thing he did was deliver a brutal invisible beatdown to Firestorm, culminating in him telepathically cutting off Ronnie's access to the Firestorm matrix, leaving him powerless and dying on the moon.

JLA #84: Shape-shifting into a tree and scanning every mind on Earth.

JLA #84-85: J'onn as Fernus vs the Justice League, Round 1: Incapacitating Superman by phasing him into the JLA Roundtable, tearing out John Stewart's guts, one-shotting Flash and then just generally slapping around the rest of the League until Major Disaster brought a comet crashing down into the Watchtower to buy some time for the League to run away. And all of this was done while J'onn/Fernus was, according to Batman, holding back.

JLA #86: Superman calls J'onn the most powerful being on the face of the Earth, and says there's no one he'd be more afraid to face in open combat.

JLA #86: Slaughters every White Martian in the Phantom Zone. These were the same White Martians who stomped every single hero on the planet back in Terror Incognita. Fernus may have had an unfair advantage since he was on fire, but these same White Martians had developed techniques to get past their fire weakness via speed and stealth (more on that in the Generic Martian Capabilities section) and none of that helped them against Fernus.

JLA #87: Fernus vs the Justice League, Round 2. This time he doesn't even bother getting physical --- he just wastes the League's minds. The League is saved by John Stewart showing up with a special helmet designed by Ganthet to give him telepathic immunity for 60 seconds, buying enough time for the League to run away (again).

JLA #88-89: Fernus vs the Justice League, Round 3: Fernus grows to a hundred feet tall and defeats the entire League again --- including Superman, Wonder Woman and John Stewart --- and then Plastic Man shows up and fights him. He had some weird plot power about how his inorganic brain was untouchable by telepathy, which doesn't even make sense since J'onn's telepathy has worked on him before and so has the telepathy of nameless White Martians, but whatever. Plastic Man + the rest of the League combined still can't bring down Fernus, but when Fernus attacks Scorch and sends her into a coma, J'onn summons his will and reclaims control of his mind and body from Fernus, finally destroying him right down to the molecular level with his Martian Vision.

Firestorm #6: Planting a psychic tracer in Firestorm's mind to track his location anywhere in the world.

Justice Leagues #5: Reading Orion's mind.

Infinite Crisis #6: Phasing through Superboy-Prime's heat vision and smacking him away. This was a few pages after Prime laughed off punches from Black Adam.

Infinite Crisis #7: Defeating Captain Cold and Mirror Master (off-panel), reading Superboy-Prime's mind and relaying his intentions to every hero on Earth.

JLA Classified #3: While severely weakened from being inside a volcano, J'onn reforms his entire body from a green smear on the wall.

World War III #4: Scanning minds all over the world to see how people in different places are reacting to Black Adam's rampage. One of the minds he locks onto is the Spectre's.

World War III #3: Casting his mind out over the globe to find Black Adam, locating him, and then occupying a back space in Raven's mind without her knowledge to view the battle.

Martian Manhunter #4: Moving fast enough to snatch away a woman in a blur.

Martian Manhunter #5: Bullet-timing reflexes. Not really impressive for characters of this level (unless you're Thor, in which case.....hallelujah) but still: bullet-timing.

Martian Manhunter #7: Blowing up a mansion via Martian Vision.

JLA Classified #12: Talks smack to President Luthor.

JLA Classified #19: Shrinking himself down to the size of a blood vessel and entering a man's Starro-infested bloodstream.

JLA Classified #21: Prevents the Starro strain from taking control of his mind by shifting his brain's position through his body.

JLA Classified #44: Knocking out Weather Wizard and getting him into police custody so quickly that Wally West himself remarked that it was fast.

JLA Classified #45-46: A piece of Malefic's soul stored inside J'onn's mind from their childhood takes control of his mind and body. Malefic uses J'onn's powers to fight the League, knocking out Wonder Woman (off-panel), swinging her body through the air like a club to beat Superman with, matching Kal-El's heat vision, shutting down Flash's mind, and shape-shifting out of Wonder Woman's lasso before using his telepathy to dominate the entire League at once.

I like that Batman built a device to block telepathy like that's half the battle won or something.

JLA Classified #46: Overpowering Malefic and freeing the JLA from his control by cutting the piece of his brother's soul out of his mind, sending him into a coma that the League eventually brought him out of with Zatanna's help.

JLA Classified #52: While in a comatose state, J'onn shifts his consciousness into John Stewart's mind to possess his body and then telepathically scans entire dimensions to locate a time-displaced Flash.

Madame Xanadu #21: Travels a distance with his speed faster than Madame Xanadu could teleport to the location. He was using his John Jones alias in this story.

Madame Xanadu #23: Using his speed to save Madame Xanadu from a car.

Outsiders: Five Of A Kind: Thunder & Martian Manhunter: Thunder says her father once told her J'onn was more powerful than Superman.

Like I said, I like stuff like this. Sue me.

Outsiders: Five Of A Kind: Thunder & Martian Manhunter: After Kyle Rayner uses his godlike Ion powers to shatter Grayven's mind, J'onn is the one who repairs the damage and stitches the New God's psyche back together again.

Final Crisis: Requiem: As preparation for Apokolips' invasion of Earth, Darkseid's soldier and living embodiment of the Anti-Life Equation Libra forms a new Secret Society, and the first thing they do is capture J'onn by shooting him with over three hundred pyro-tranq darts designed by Dr. Sivana, but even in that weakened state and even after being stabbed through the chest by a weapon Darkseid himself gifted Libra when he empowered him, J'onn is still capable of forcing the entire Society (Luthor, Effigy, Grodd, Sivana, Talia al Ghul, Ocean Master, Dr. Light and Vandal Savage) into a telepathic nightmare until Libra recovers from the hit that he received and stabs J'onn again to disrupt the illusion.

Also notable is the fact that Dr. Light (who has brought down Superman with one light blast, curbstomped Kyle Rayner, and fought an army of Titans by himself) says he wouldn't stand a chance against a fully conscious J'onn, and Libra (who has defeated Superman, Green Lantern and Flash in the past, and after his empowerment by Darkseid was able to block the power of the Crispus Allen Spectre) says he'd hate to have to take on J'onn in a fair fight.

Final Crisis: Requiem: While practically dead from all the damage received, J'onn manages to download his entire life history into the minds of Superman, Batman, Black Canary, Green Lantern and Gypsy as his final act, to make them the custodians of the Martian heritage as his final act.

Fast forward, everybody mourns, Final Crisis comes and goes, Blackest Night comes along and Nekron just ruins everybody's day, but at the end of it the Entity resurrects several dead people, one of whom just happens to be J'onn, so everything worked out better than expected.

Pictured: Superman showing off those Pulitzer-winning observational skills.
Pictured: Superman showing off those Pulitzer-winning observational skills.

Brightest Day #21: Fights D'Kay D'Razz, an insane Green Martian, and defeats her by summoning the thoughts of everyone on Earth (while standing on Mars) and blasting her with them. Then he kills her by flying her into the Sun, while getting there in under 8 minutes (unless for some reason he was having the slowest conversation in the history of communication) thus making it FTL travel.

Examples of D'Kay's telepathic power: she could receive the thoughts of billions of minds at once without even meaning to, and easily defeat Miss Martian in a psi-battle.

Brightest Day #24: An example of finesse in his intangibility: removing an inoperable wound from the brain of Melissa Erdel without harming her in any way.


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Stormwatch #1: An angry Apollo punches J'onn in the face, and not only does nothing happen, but Apollo actually falls down as a result.

Stormwatch #1-2: This is mainly here to refute the claims that Midnighter one-shotted J'onn; he did no such thing. J'onn was faking.

Legion Lost #6: Fights some Legion people. Tanks anti-matter blasts from Wildfire, shapeshifts into a dragon thing, etc etc.

Green Lantern Corps #4: Telepathically manipulates Guy Gardner's emotions and then probes the mind of a Keeper, a being made of pure willpower.

Green Lantern Corps #5: Links the minds of nine Lanterns together and then erases all memory of his visit from their heads.

Justice League #8: Fights the entire League --- Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Cyborg and Aquaman --- at once and holds his own, and later reads their thoughts while they're on the moon and he's on Earth.

There aren't a lot of details about this fight yet, but there are some key points that can be inferred at this stage. As to whether the League was holding back or giving it their all, there aren't any clues; but it is logical to assume that at least one member (Wonder Woman) was not holding back, since in Wonder Woman #0, War taught Diana to never raise a sword against a man unless she intended to end his life with it. That is consistent with how she's portrayed in the main JL series. For example, she only pulled out the sword against the Talons after Superman told her they were already dead to begin with. It's a weapon she uses when she's looking to kill.

This fight is going to be elaborated upon in the new Justice League of America series written by Geoff Johns, the same guy who wrote this issue of Justice League, so details will emerge from there ----- although I'd be surprised if the Martian didn't come out on top. Johns loves J'onzz and usually writes him like a boss, so there's that.

Stormwatch #12: Erasing all memory of his existence from Jenny Quantum's mind. Jenny is a reality warper who can generate logic bombs that unravel whole dimensions, making her the most powerful person J'onn's telepathy has affected in present continuity. She also blasts J'onn to no effect before her memories are erased.

I think that's all I got so far.

Generic Martian Capabilities

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This section is here mainly because a few of J'onn's feats above are against nameless Martians, and it seems strange to try and dismiss those opponents as fodder just because they're nameless since so many of those nameless Martians have very strong showings against established heroes; showings that establish the average Martian as being significantly more powerful than the average Kryptonian, Daxamite, Green Lantern or New God.

Since this is, as mentioned, a display of generic Martian capabilities, Miss Martian's feats haven't been included here since she's a more or less established hero. Not that it really matters, there are nameless Martians with better showings than her considering her best showing is stalemating Supergirl. All of these feats below are feats of White Martians, since with the exceptions of Malefic and D'Kay (whose feats are already included in the main section) J'onn was the only Green Martian.

Without further ado....

JLA #2: A White Martian named Tronix one-shots Wonder Woman with her Martian Vision.

JLA #2: A White Martian named Primaid moves so fast that she blitzes Superman before he can react even though he saw her coming from over 200 miles away.

JLA #2: The White Martian leader, Protex, incapacitates Superman with a telepathic trick that makes his mind think there's Kryptonite in front of him.

JLA #3: Flash manages to be the only member of the League who beats the White Martian sent after him by the Hyperclan ---- but this is still a good speed showing for Zum given that there are only a handful of speedsters fast enough to make Wally West sweat.

JLA #3: Two White Martians named Armek and Zenturion beat Flash and Green Lantern in an off-panel fight.

JLA #33: A single White Martian takes on Orion, Steel, Green Lantern, Big Barda and Plastic Man all at the same time and more or less holds his own until Orion has a Crowning Moment of Badassery where he sets himself on fire to fight the Martian.

JLA #55-56: Two White Martians mind-control half a million people and make them march towards certain death in the form of a nuclear explosion. Then they mind-control Kyle Rayner and make him fire a lethal blast at Wonder Woman. Flash races through the crowd and places the Martians in the path of the blast in a picosecond. They tank it and then phase out of Wonder Woman's lasso when she ties them up in it.

JLA #57: White Martians blitz Superman and Kyle Rayner to defeat them.

JLA #57: Two White Martians turn invisible and clothesline a running Flash.

JLA #57: A White Martian scans Plastic Man's mind to uncover his real identity and then slices him in half with Martian Vision.

JLA #57: White Martians blitz Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and an already injured Flash.

JLA #57: Protex steals Phantom Zone intel from Superman's open book of a head.

JLA #58: The White Martians fight and defeat basically every hero on Earth worth anything.

JLA #58: Alan Scott and Superboy try to exploit the Martian weakness to fire, but the White Martians use their speed and stealth to avoid that and defeat them anyway.

JLA #58: The White Martians fly from the Earth to the moon in less time than it takes Superman to make a speech.

That really is all I've got so far. Cheers.


AFK for a bit

I need a break from the site in general and the battle forums in particular; the whole thing's just starting to get me irritated and downright unpleasant when there's no reason I should be.

Might be back in a month or two.


Rob Liefeld, filled to the brim with charm and tact

Ripped right from Bleeding Cool:

Fresh from his litany of accusations against DC Comics’ working practices, Rob Liefeld seemed clear to set the record straight over his relationship with the folks at 1700 Broadway on Twitter, in the belief that they were about to spin against him. And he wanted to get in first.

When I speak of re-writes at DC, I’m speaking of having to implement the latest editorial directive. Mostly at the last minute. Deathstroke was left alone, mostly due to the fact that the sales on that series went up the most, furthest. GRIFTER is an important book to DC they want it to succeed. Grifter was supposed to be part of a huge fall cross-over. Grifter was to cross-over into a larger story with Helspont and the Daemonites. The other titles were Superman, Supergirl, Red Lantern.. I was told that Voodoo was ending and to implement her into the story. I had to connect to the events in the Superman annual. Grifter was featured in the Superman annual, as was Hawkman. I wrote Grifter #13 and it placed him in the center of the Daemonite plot.

I arrived at Comic-con to be informed that the Superman office changed their mind, whatever that means and there was now no fall cross-over. So issue #13 had to be re-written from page one. The Superman annual was also changed and Grifter was removed as was Hawkman. Voodoo still needed to be featured though as Grifter was her new home. All fine and good. You take a corporate assignment you take direction But when I speak of re-writes, they are of this nature and agenda. Then followed by, how are we going to get Grifter sales up? Again, part if the freelancer workload, but wanted clarification as to what I’m referencing in regards to re-writes. Not a dialogue change. After getting clearance on Grifter #0, late in the process, he could no longer be of alien heritage as I was writing him in issues #9-12. Took pride in making every change as fast as possible. But eventually U realize the loop is non-stop. I chose to exit-Loved the opportunity.

Deathstroke had not been problematic, the smoothest sailing until the #0 and the co-opting of Dstroke origin by another office doing Team 7. You roll up your sleeves and try to be fair dividing the baby up, fought to keep important plot and origin motives in the Dstroke book. Lots and lots of territorial fights. The entire time you must keep in mind that your book needs to show sales traction. I loved being deep in the corporate culture for a year. Did my best to be a good team player, was well compensated. Hawkman really worked, they let me rip, then there was an editorial shift and everything I’d laid out and was approved was unraveling.

I stood my ground in defense of what I thought was a strong, positive vision. Felt the editor wanted to write the book himself, quit July 4. On July 5th I was assured that there would be an editorial change, this cat had a bad track record and had previous creator conflicts. The top brass approves, is enthusiastic and then the editor says, let’s change things. You’re like, no, this is what has been approved… There was a directive of let’s make Helspont and important figure, let’s make him the focus. I like Helspont, no problem, then, sea change. And no, this isn’t juicy stuff, this is nuts and bolts stuff. Work process.

The new corporate culture of both companies has never been more stressful because they are in the cross hairs of parent companies. Hope that clarifies the nature of changes, comes with the game if you accept the assignments. The burn out us accelerated on your workload. There are plenty chairs that are being re-arranged as I type this. Guys on books now that won’t be there in January.

Ann Nocenti, God bless her, read my Hawkman #0 and suggested that it be a dream, uncertain, something we could drag out… I said NO, the readers deserve clarity and certainty, a reward for their investment of the last 6 months. My editor entertained her notion..

So I left. Then they said they would remove him. He was gone and 3 months of trying to undue what I’d started with previous editor was gone By July, I had a new editor, my 3rd on Hawkman in 6 months. My concern is it will be all Batman comics in 2 years as the Batman brand holds strong across the board. Batfamily accounts for 16 books.

Hawkman came together really well for all involved. I wrote 3 parts of WANTED, be interesting if those make it through. The synergy in trying to fuse the comics with the larger entertainment component can be very exciting. And rewarding. Last thing, there was one editor that had like 5 books canceled and was given a promotion? I was like huh?

Note how Rob seems to conform Bleeing Cool rumours of big creative and title changes in January. Though I’ve also been hearing rumours of how the switchovers may not be as neat as previously rumoured.

Then Marvel’s XXX Tom Brevoort, when asked if there was room at Marvel for Rob now, posted;

After that Twitter flame-out, I can’t say I’d be in a hurry to get onto that train.

And on Twitter, wrote in defence of DC editor Brian Smith, who had edited Hawkman.

Tom: I wasn’t there, I don’t know what happened, but having worked with him, I can vouch for yourpalsmitty as a stand-up guy. Not as he’s being made out to be.

Hey, you back the horse you like. All I can tell you is that his characterization of yourpalSmitty is off-base

With others joining in;

Gail Simone: Could not agree more about yourpalsmitty. Thanks for that, Tom.

David Gallaher: very interaction I’ve had with yourpalsmitty in the last 12 years has been super

Cue Rob, responding to Tom’s earlier comment;

Rob: Someone told me that loser fat ass Brevoort was talking trash about me today. I dropped him awhile back . I gotta coach football games..out

Sorry they passed you over for EIC Tommy B. Get over it and get back to mixing and matching Avengers and X-Men doucher

I know, Tommy B, why don’t u all tell Kirkman how “concerned” u are for his future post Marvel. That’s our funniest bit that we HOWL at.

Tom: You remain a sweetheart, Rob. Don’t go changing. Also, feel free to say any of this to my face, you feckless bully.

Takes a big man to go postal publicly on a young editor like that. kickspuppiestoo

Rob: happy to TomBrevoort then u can bump me with your gut

And FYI, I don’t drink. Haven’t touched liquor in 30 years.

And while all these tweets are publicly available, at least one was deleted…


Planetary respect thread

Does anyone remember these people? Does anyone remember that they were in one of the best comic books ever published ever? DC, where is my New 52 Jakita Wagner solo series? Even freaking Fuji gets some love in the form of an extremely minor cameo in Superboy, but none of these people have made an appearance in the new universe yet. Where is your justice now? Maybe I don't want to see them making an appearance right now because there's always the chance they'll end up in the hands of Liefeld, but would be nice to see some kind of indication that these folks still live and breathe.

I was originally planning to make a Squadron Supreme respect thread but that would take way too long and I don't have that much time right now. So I thought I'd make a thread for another one of my favorite teams.

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(Planetary for Dummies: Elijah's power is heat subtraction, he basically makes things colder. Jakita has superhuman strength, speed and durability. The Drummer communicates with and manipulates different forms of technology. Ambrose warps time and space in a field around him.)

I'm making sections for Elijah, Jakita and Ambrose. I might come back to the Drummer later. Technopathy is one of the coolest powers there is, and yet Drummer tends to be an unimpressive technopath most of the time, so my interest wanes.

Elijah Snow

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Planetary #2: Dissipates a cloud of nerve gas by draining its heat away.

Planetary #7: Freezes a street in seconds.

Planetary #11: Freezes and shatters the Bride.

Planetary #12: Freezes a section of a park large enough that it can be viewed from space via satellite.

Planetary #13: Performs an innovative method of castration on Dracula.

Planetary/Batman: Night On Earth: Takes down Batman via quick brainfreeze.

Planetary #23: Shuts a guard up by freezing his vocal cords.......after forcing him to stay in place by freezing his piss.

Planetary #24: Lessens some of the immense heat produced by an orbital death ray when it starts to seep into a nuclear bunker Planetary was in.

Jakita Wagner

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Planetary #3: Destroys a speeding car with one kick.

Planetary #6: Fights William Leather (energy manipulator and Johnny Storm analogue) and is thrown out of the penthouse of a skyscraper (Four Voyagers Plaza); Leather remarks that when she hits the ground, she'll just be a little sore.

Planetary #8: Kills four giant mutant ant-monster-things.

Planetary #9: Blitzes a guard guy.

Planetary #9: Makes a huge jump, which from the looks of it was something like a hundred feet or more. She then crushes a handgun and mangles the shooter's hand.

Planetary #14: Fights William Leather again (flashback to the past). She bypasses his power advantage by ambushing him and then hitting him in the brains over and over again without giving him a chance to recover.

Planetary #18: Runs a considerable distance and injects William Leather with a sedative in the back of the neck in the time it takes for him to raise his head.

Planetary/Batman: Night On Earth: Fights Batman to a stalemate. It's an extraordinarily high skill showing for Jakita given that she has no prior showings that suggest she's as skilled as Bruce......but then Batman didn't die after one punch from her, so the eyebrow-raising nature of the feat goes both ways.

Planetary/The Authority: Ruling The World: Kicks a Worldruler robot through a portal into the Bleed so hard it beheads the monstrous Jenny Sparks on the other side.

Planetary #23: Kicks a man so hard his spine flies out of his body.

Planetary #23: Moves fast enough to rip a bomb collar off kid Drummer's neck before the electric signal to detonate reaches him.

Planetary #25: Slams through a stone wall and beats up John Stone, who had all kinds of superhuman tech implants in him.

Ambrose Chase

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Planetary #9: Deflects bullets away from him in the middle of their trajectory after they are fired.

Planetary #9: Slows down time for a while to gun down multiple people.

Planetary #14: Fights Kim Suskind, a Sue Storm analogue. First he pulls off her goggles from afar to prevent her from going invisible, and then warps space around her to shatter her force-field and prevent her from concentrating enough to use her powers.

Planetary #23: Freezes a group of guards still in time, although he misses the man farthest away from him.