Why is it that the police in this town are SO DAMN USELESS??? Is it just that they're so used to superheroes saving the day, or what? I went to the police station today, and no one noticed that I was covered in blood. Too busy looking for clues about the local serial killer-who is me!

Not that they'll ever find me. I had a sign that read 'serial killer' in dried blood, but did they see it? NO! Oblivious, I swear . . .

There was a plainclothes cop hanging around the local all-night mini mart, but I told him that the Wall Monster would attack if he didn't leave. So he left, and I haven't seen him since . . . I think Mr. Eff killed him.

I swear I'm gonna blow that station up!