Dinner and a movie with an old fling. About 5-6 years ago she was a lifeguard.

Reconnected through social media. She had gained some weight based on her most recent pic from 6 months ago.

Whatever.

Shows up easily 60-70lbs heavier then her most recent pic.

Proceeds to tell me at dinner, while she is licking her plate clean, that even though she feels full she knows that she needs to keep eating to fill her caloric deficit. Its like her body is trying to trick herself to stop eating.

As we sit down in our seats at the theater, she proceeds to knock my drink out of my hand with one of her butt cheeks. It spills all over me, soaking one pant leg, both my shoes, and the four rows of people in front of me. Big guy in a cowboy hat stands up, pissed as hell. "Who spilt their f***ing soda all over my boots?"

I shrug a don't know. Stares at me and then the ham planet i'm sitting next to, sits back down muttering something about escaping from the reservation and how the calvary should have done their job better.

Love living in rural america…probably get jumped by him and his buddies at some random point for disrespecting his cowboy costume.

Afterwards, while driving her home she makes her move. While trying to reposition herself in my jeep she knocks it out of gear.

"Whoa there, whatcha trying to do?"

"well…", she says while trying to be sultry and seductive, "I was thinking maybe we should drive up the canyon and see if there is enough room in the back to…"

"There isn't." I shift back into gear and drive in silence to her house.

Mostly posted this because I am curious if anyone else had ever heard of this idea of being tricked by feeling full and having to force oneself to eat beyond being full to fulfill a caloric deficit?

*Now watch people shout for a ban because god forbid someone posts a blog about his day in the OFF TOPIC section.

I'm at the checkout line getting my food scanned by this 300 lbs+ heifer of a woman. She didn't look at me or talk to me the entire time when usually they will. She seemed a little slow. Behind me in line is this other close to 300 lbs shorter woman. The cashier and this lady start talking, totally ignoring me the entire time which I didn't mind, I don't want to talk to fats if I don't have to. Lady behind me starts talking about how they buried her brother on Saturday, only 58 years old. Looking at her you can tell her brother was a lardass just like her. She didn't go into details why, but you could tell it was because obesity took his life. For some reason I have a smile on my face at this point.

It gets better. Cashier starts talking about how she is worried because her kids aren't as healthy as she is (WTF)! Her oldest son had a stroke five years ago and is 38 now. WHAT!!!!!!! So he had a stroke at 33 and you are worried because YOU are in better health than he is? At this point I'm having a hard time not grinning my ass off. Cashier said she was 55 and it's a rough 55, I mean god damn it was bad. She goes on to say that it was caused by a head injury in some sport he was playing in high school. Yeah right, 15 years before the stroke he got a head injury and that caused it.

So I waited until I got my receipt and told them, "My aunt's a nurse and from what she tells me strokes are caused by blockage of blood to the brain. It's usually caused by too much fat in the diet." At that point I looked at the cashier, then at the fatty's food on the counter and then the fat person behind me with this look that said "You're next". Cashier had this dumbfounded look on her face. Person behind me tried giving me a dirty look but it could have been gas too, hard to tell. I was laughing loud enough for them to hear as I walked away.

What a great day!