Marvel's Bad Parenting


I decided to throw a list together of Famous Children of Marvel who are dysfunctional, crazy, and absolutely off the deep end! Here's a list of Children who instead of getting therapy, got..well, CRAZY

List items

  • Professor X's son, wouldn't that make anyone crazy? He's got more personalities than Edward Cullen has brain cells, which means DAAAAAAAAAMN this guy has issues! But hey, at least he doesn't sparkle.

  • You know you're bound to be screwed up if the first thing that happens to you is you getting yourself ripped out of your own mother. And then lo and behold, you're being manipulated but then you turn out to be quite a bastard yourself. Put this all together, and you have...Daken. Wolverine's son. Freud would have a field day with him.

  • Belasco's daughter. Who would possibly mate with that creepy demon, I would never want to find out. All I have to say is, at least she doesn't have horns.

  • How could I NOT include her? She went off her rocker and caused Mutants everywhere to go POOF. Magneto's daughter, Married to an Android, GIRL GET SOME MEDICATION!

  • Quicksilver's a basket case. He convinced his sister to change the world and do stuff like that. And he lost everything he had. I think one of the Requirements for being a child of Magneto is you have to be absolutely nuts.

  • Oh don't think she isn't! She's been possessed, and don't forget she survived Genosha with voices in her head. How is she NOT crazy? Magneto...you got some 'splainin to do!

  • Dracula's daughter. The famed vampire with D cups. How creepy.

  • Red Skull's now extra-crispy faced daughter who was aged to adulthood then reverted than aged then rev..ahh screw it. But if she was/is technically still a Minor, wouldn't Crossbones be Guilty of Statutory Rape? Crafty crafty bastard.

  • One half of the Fenris. If I didn't know any better, she really liked her brother as something more than a brother. Damn you Baron Von Strucker!

  • The other half, Baron's other child. Wields or wielded, if he's dead yet, a sword with his dead sister's skin to keep using their powers, but honestly didn't care about anything, except for secret incest fantasies.

  • Norman Osborn's own flesh and blood = Instant Insanity.

    Harry went crazy, became normal, and then went crazy again and now he's normal again!? He changes his sanity faster than I do my underwear...but you didn't hear that.

  • Why shouldn't he be here? His mom was a demonic and psychotic clone of an equally psychotic woman. His father is a Jackass who does nothing but get people killed. Cable was thrown into crap since he was born, but despite all that, he's probably the most sane insane person on this list.

  • Kraven's secret love child. Thirteen years old, her mom wants to resurrect her husband who killed himself over an obsession with a guy in a spider costume! Get child protective services stat...or just watch her stab people.

  • Hulk's son from a...somewhere. Apparently, Banner gets a lot of tail. And I'm surprised that they don't sue for child support. But with sons like Skaar, who needs child support? More like life insurance.

  • Black Bolt and Medusa's slightly deranged son who takes after his uncle Maximus the Mad. Some family, eh?

  • Nightmare's son who is constantly compared to an Emo Kid. He's half demon, he hated everything..and now he's a licensed therapist. Talk about Irony!

  • Lord Darkwind's child of death, destruction, and long nails. Likes: Long walks on the beach, poking dead things with sticks. Hates: Everything else.

  • The original Mastermind's daughter. She's evil then good then evil then...HATES EVERYTHING ELSE.

  • The original Mastermind's daughter. She just hates everything else, like Regan.

  • A very strange combination of DNA: Mystique and Sabertooth. Not surprisingly, he hates mutants, but with that kind of genetic Makeup, can you blame him?

  • The Lost Summers Brother: He killed a bunch of Sh'iar, his own father, and a perfectly good storyline. Then he died. The end. Or DID HE!?

  • Moria's son who just won't stay dead. He really loves possessing people and making them act like complete dumbasses. And oh, the whole, killing people thing too.

  • A giant, fire..thing...that drains people's life forces. And Apocalypse's son. Who the Hell mated with Apocalypse for you, Buddy? I wanna punch them.

  • He's apparently, Satan's son. And apparently, he likes imprisioning his ex-wife. It's so adorable, and twisted at the same time.

  • Sebastian Shaw's intangible Baby Boy. He loved his father so much...that he stole his company right from under his nose and attempted to murder him. Then KARMA came back and Sebastian killed him after M-Day. Selene brought Shinobi back in her utterly pathetic attempt to become a giant glowing blue woman. And now he's gone...again.