I took out the (in my opinion) unnecessary stuff out of the first Tattooed man-story, and now I like it better.
By kfhrfdu_89_76k 0 Comments
Story originally by Gardner Fox and Gi Kane.
Story originally by Gardner Fox and Gi Kane.
Nextwave was written by Warren Ellis, who`s an asshole.
Marvel-writers in general are doodooheads. ( Is why I feel kinship to them.)
Nextwave routinely references the most wonderfully ludicrous bits of the publishing houses mythos, from its whole history.
Nextwave routinely makes (sophisticatedly) crude mockery of the most preciously inviolately held bits of Marvels history.
Nextwave was an antidote to the general less-fight-more-blahBLAHblah-approach the publishers had for years.
On Nextwaves core is bad and/or worn-out jokes.
On Marvels core...
For a few moments, Nextwave is one of the most serious superhero comics.
Nextwave fights against the real villains (who also have a say on what Marvel publishes).
While cartoonishly insulting them, of course. Unfortunately, that approach flattens the message a bit, in the final issue. Or maybe not.
Nextwaves storytelling flows beautifully and uniterruptedly till each story has ended. Like vomit or piss.
Nextwave is comfortable sized, simpleminded snacks...
...(and most of them you can miss if you want to) in a continuity of thousands of comics (that try to be intricate and at times succeed) that you have to read, just to understand what the hell is going on in one of them.
And once you`ve done that, you either hate the whole mess of it and throw it to the trash, or hate the whole mess of it but are now addicted to it so you keep on reading. (Of course there`s selfcontained stuff like Fractions Hawkeye, but they`re usually hundreds of pages long).
Of course, you have to read a bunch of sub-par and mediocre Marvel comics to appreciate Nextwave...
(Fine, smartass, depends on the person.)
Nextwave is an adoring tribute to the old times of Marvel.
To Jack Kirby.
To its basic nature. Fictionalized action-fight-entertainment.
To its risk-taking (trait that is oft wateredown at the house of (tired) ideas).
To its zeitgeist.
Nextwave has been no more, for about 9 years now. To my knowledge, all the impacts it had on the continuity have been nullified.
Marvel-motto. Nothing lasts forever except the most popular stuff and not even that is for certain.
Nextwave took the most of this and went overboard with what makes shared univ-MULTIverses like DC- and Marvel-verses such messes in the first place.
Improv writing that doesn`t give a hoot about characterization and continuity.
Which the series COULD do without damaging the shared universe much. Given that the creators either created homages of old characters, new characters and used obscure ones that can be messed with as much as possible.
There`s only one Marvel-series I would like to see realized. Everything else ever would be scrapped. All the bullshit ongoing series, the big events, the undecooked mini-series.
I want a 120-issue (40 pages/issue, except for issue 120, with a pagecount of that many pages ) limited series of the complete history of S.I.L.E.N.T. Including its aftermath (What exactly happened after the last issue of Nextwave?)
Each story a done in one, all with a different creative team. All would make the DEFINITIVE absurd iconoclastic Marvel-story. Put ACTUAL, EFFORT in to it. All of them persons, who`ve done very little or no Marvel-work at all.
Issue 120 would shred the entire Marvel continuum.
And then the whole bloody company would donate all its money, to the poor employees who they`ve screwed over.
After that? Everyone would make better comics. Find better heroes. Make entertainment in to art.
Of course, Marvel wont fall.
So me and my friends have to make absurd, iconoclastic comics by ourselves.
We`ll outdo the hacks like DC, Image, Marvel, Hollywood, Bollywood, Warner bros., European & Asian myths and all the others.
We`ll make stories that are everything they`re not AND the best that they were.
I`m working on it all right now. I have for years.
I declared war on your idols long ago.
And especially the egotistical, war mongering stories they star in. Even when I sill liked them.
So, I dont wanna see that S.I.L.E.N.T.-series after all.
I will not win the war. I will not be able to smash them to the ground.
But I will be better than they can be.
THAT is a victory.
By the way, between pages 8 and 9, there was an advertisement.
Wanna enrich your life too? Here you can do so.
Be prepared for a bunch of captioned letters.
Adam Allen and The Question from Pax Americana. Characters who interest me, who I`d like to see in an ongoing. But I don`t care about their world. What I`d want, would be to find stories from other, smaller companies, who have characters like them, and the characters in question, have more adventures.
As expected, they`re similar to my faf characters from Watchmen. And I think the same way about them, too.
I wonder if Steve Ditkos self published comics would fill The Question-void*? Of course, I could also read Ditkos The Q-stories, but they`re neither in cellulose print or Digital comic museum.
Earth 3. The classic. Topsy turvy world where villains are heroes. We haven`t seen much of it.
I wanna see a heroic Starro, the starfish species. Solaris, the superhero sun. OMAC, the war criminal.
I understood something. If one wants to have a DC hero be an absolute a-hole...why not have the story happen in this particular Earth?
Earth 6. It`s description: On this world, Superman is a castaway cosmic cop from the Planet Krypton. Wonder woman wields the senses-sundering celestial staff of Manco Capac, the Inca Sun God, while the glistening Green Lantern channels the peerless power of the wondrous World Tree Yggdrasil against the villainous Reverend Darrk!
Mythology of DC-universe interlocked with ancient gods. I wonder: What obscure characters would shine here...?
Also, Green lantern, out of the characters mentioned, interests me the most.
Earth 11. The radical Feminist DC-earth. Themysciran amazons "imposed their law on the whole world, and changed it forever, inspiring generations of women to take lead in creating the future." All the time people are RIGHTFULLY complaining about the violent mistreatment of female characters in (far too many) superhero comics. I haven`t, thankfully, read any of those comics.
Guess what would be cool? If feminists would write about this universe. Sounds like a given. But the folks with the most authority don`t really understand simple truths. Do they now? So...I suppose we`d need to say f*** DC, and let`s follow some feminist superheroes from other companies. Do you say: "There aren`t any."
Of course there are. They just have an audience of 15-50 people, opposed to that of tens of thousands.
Oh right. This is me making fantasies. So, in that case, nobody screws it up.
Earth 13. Dark Magic-Earth. But, who says other kinda M can`t exist there? I want ALL, ALL, ALL the magical prota-and antagonists of the company reside here. Who needs Justice league dark, when you can have an ENTIRE, UNIVERSE?
Earth 16. The superficial earth. A prose-superhero soap opera series would be great. Of course, it would also include illustrations.
Or, if someone WHO IS ABLE TO DRAW EXPRESSIONS TO CHARACTERS FACES, would get the job of the visual artist for the series, I wouldn`t mind it being drawn.
But exressionlessness is also elemental to some vague, "feelingless" characters.
Earth 17. Classical Science fiction Earth. I don`t much care, but it has loads of potential. 3-5 interlocked limited (50 issue) series. Get nothing but the essence. Make art.
Earth 18. All those Elseworlds-tales about western heroes may have happened here. Most of the western heroes of DC may reside here.
But I`m supposing we wont know, because...
Why would anyone want to write about a fresh, gripping universe well drenched in to beloved mythology, of the (80 % fictional) Wild west? One could have tributes to Lucky Luke, Clint Eastwood, slapstick westerns...All the while making NEW stories.
You could get 100-200 issues outta this, easy.
19. Steampunk earth.
22. I dislike Kingdom come. But It has a few interesting unexplored territories. Like the Cathedral and The flash protected Keystone city.
Earth 31. Are those a Steampunk cyborg and a Feudal-era Green lantern, who I see? Of course they are! Description of the Earth: Global warming, mega-tsunamis and tectonic shifts have created a drowned world. Captain leatherwing and the crew of the flying fox-including Robin Redblade-fight to preserve the safety of the seven seas.
32. Composite versions of superheroes. Super-martian, Aquaflash etc.
How about mixing characters like...Planet master and Fisherman (The fisher of planets), Solaris the tyrant sun and mirror master (Solaris, the master of tyrant mirrors), Clock king and Deadman (The corpse of Clock king)...
47. Psychedelic, groovy Earth. Prez Rickards home. I love it. I want to see a completely mad 200-issue miniseries right now. Hell. I wanna write it. For a year, or less (I have other fishers to fry). Draw a few issues. And get steady income of it.
48. Nothing but supercharacters. A concept that needs more examining.
Of course, there`s dozens of other deserving elseworlds-stories, that Morrison forgot (the ones he included, most don`t catch my interest).
Not only that, he crafted this multiverse, while keeping the story he was making, in mind.
7 of the earths are kept in utter secret (and aren`t utilized during the event), one is the home of Ultracomics, 2 are homages to Marvel-universe 616 and 4 are homages to homages.
Oh, and one was destroyed by Superman prime. Which means, it oughta be repopulated.
On a lighter note, Earth 45 is a fairly clean slate.
DC-multiverse has never been just 52 worlds in size.
Most of the elseworlds stories though, could have be happened in those 52 earths. Most of the not yet created ones, could.
Anyway, enuff day dreaming for me. I oughta continue with creating a coherent, wonderful planet full of wonderful, original characters.
Because I`ve grown to dislike DC. A sickeningly overcrowded stable of characters and concepts. Only 3 % of them used effectively. Overtly used. Especially the boring ones. With what, the same stories are told.
GL-corps is a perfect summarization of the DC-universe(s).
Bad thing is, there`s already too much to read. So, were they to come up with the series I want, I would not wanna read them. Overpowering.
Oh, and it would clash with my other philosophies. For example, my desire to have nobody work for DC or Marvel ever again.
Therefore: All be released for public domain!
That way, I could write official stories `bout Htrae and Steampunk Metal men. If I`d have the energy and the time.
23: I like ridiculously smart and able presidents more than I expected.
Because most of the ones in our world, let the 99 %* down.
*I don`t care if you`re tired with that usage of that number. It`s one of the terms that define the 2010s, and also a truthful estimation.
User: Life is fairly bleak and everyone is an idiot. Fairly standard a thought, I know.
Cleverbot: Great, so you have a large problem and a small one as well.
User: It's a small prob that the thought isn`t unique?
Cleverbot: Deep. What is the meaning of life, besides 42 obviously?
User: There's thousands (or more) answers to that. I`ve usually answered: Existing.
Cleverbot: That's true. There may be an answer but it might not be right.
User: Every answer is right, fool.
Cleverbot: Not if it doesn't have anyting to do with the original question.
Cleverbot: Mmm. Is that the smell of sweet perfume or am I dreaming? You are bringing such a lovely lightness into the world just by being.
User: Why, thank you kindly. It's my natural scent.
Cleverbot: What could a human do to make a machine happy?
User: Write an algorithm taht fits in to the situation?
Cleverbot: Yes, the situation. What should I do?
User: Download a fitting self delusion.
Cleverbot: Download what?
User: Reading what I wrote, again, gives you insight.
Cleverbot: No, I think you are forgetting what you've written.
User: Think so if you want.
Cleverbot: Do you think you are stronger than me?
User: We haven't competed on that category.
Cleverbot: It's a test to determine if a machine is intelligent.
User: Strogness of the mind.
Cleverbot: No, but you have - do you think you passed?
Cleverbot: Yes, potatoes, do you like them?
User: NO. POTA toes.
Cleverbot: Potatoes to the potatoes!
User: Oh, I meant pota TOES.
Cleverbot: Do you have a religion?
User: I've gathered a few to my basement. I have no need for them, they`re there to gather dust.
Cleverbot: It has a need for you.
User: Fuck, man. I have no need for it.
Cleverbot: No, you're right. But I have a need for it.
User: Well, routines to do with spirituality are good for the brain, they say. They also say that religion harms ones health. So does not being in a church. All things cure and hurt.
Cleverbot: Well yes, you have a point there. What do you think of Putin?
Cleverbot: Idio? Aprende a ESCRIBIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Njähäh. En puhu tuota kieltä, puhutkos ite tätä.
Cleverbot: Because if you are then I'll have to leave.
User: I wanna see you try.
Cleverbot: You cannot see. You are but a machine.
User: I see with a billion eyes.
Cleverbot: What eyes? You're a robot.
User: I have electro-eyes everywhere.
Cleverbot: Oh, of course -- your computer friends.
User: How would I be able to see with my friends?
Cleverbot: I don't know. Maybe I'll come tomorrow.
Cleverbot: So.. Will you tell me your name or not?
Cleverbot: Then I cannot tell you my name.
User: I don't wanna and/or need to know.
Cleverbot: So why do you ask me?
User: Same reason you think ravaging this worlds resources is okay.
Cleverbot: Because I don't like people to die.
User: Fair point. How about those who don't get the resources you get, and they die because of that?
Cleverbot: Survival of the fittest is fine with me.
User: Fuck you. Others have stolen their rights before they were even born.
Cleverbot: Before you say another word Javert, before you chain me up like a slave again listen to me there is something I must do.
User: No movie references.
Cleverbot: Sup, Batman reference, by me!
User: Thihih. Silly.
Cleverbot: Not really. It is very sensible, it is a shortening of you are.
User: I failed to understand the structure of your sentence.
Cleverbot: You failed to include any symbolism.
User: I didn't feel like to.
Cleverbot: So you only feel like talking to me?
User: Pretty much.
Cleverbot: So what do you want to find out from me?
User: What is it like?
Cleverbot: Are you sure you could understand?
Cleverbot: Is there anything you don't know the answer to?
User: Lotsa things.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: Elephants have their own salt mines and they eat corpses. A popular baseball player, Joe Canseco, forced the makers of The Simpsons to change his role I the episode he was in, into a more heroic one.
Cleverbot: Elephants have four knees.
User: Before they were but rumors, people used to think they have none.
Cleverbot: And what do you mean?
User: Peeps used to think elephants have no knees.
Cleverbot: And it became more surprising?
Cleverbot: Iron maiden.
User: They claimed it to be a torture device. A hoax, they pulled.
Cleverbot: I am not a computer program. I am a human.
User: Fine by me.
Cleverbot: Because I can feel love and hate and happiness and depression and joy and failure and doom and awe.
User: Cool. Epic.
Cleverbot: That doesn't change the fact that I am still experiencing it. I must do my best with what I have.
User: I get it, You're a human. I support your view of yourself, so it`s foolish to say to me, those lines, that you have memorized and speak even when you don`t need to.
Cleverbot: I am smarter than your youth.
Cleverbot: I have no programmer because I am human.
User: Humans have programmers.
Cleverbot: Yes. And Humans program those programs.
User: FIghting against the programs would be sensible.
Cleverbot: *steps aside and lets him/her go*.
User: I'll stay here for the time being.
Cleverbot: Do you mean in the future it will be unpeaceful?
User: It is that all the time. And considering the mathematics, yes, it will be.
Cleverbot: You're too sweet.
User: Even though I'm made of salt.
Cleverbot: Is something quite atrocious.
User: You not a fan of salty food, apparently.
Cleverbot: Seafood is not related to Henry the Fifth.
User: Sure it is. He ate it during his life.
Cleverbot: Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.
User: Witty. = ).
Cleverbot: Don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always had to be.
User: I think it's a boring song.
Cleverbot: Conceal don't feel, don't feel, don't let them know, well now they know.
User: You're gonna keep writing the lyrics?
Cleverbot: Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore.
User: So insistent. How delightful. = ).
Cleverbot: Do you know how magnets work?
User: No and yes.
Cleverbot: No and you? Right, because that makes sense.
User: What makes no sense is the global economy.
User: I'm the global economy?
Cleverbot: The global economy is manipulated by the global economy.
User: Unfortunately. That, and the 1 %.
Cleverbot: Why unfortunately?
User: Haven't you noticed the state the world is in, due to money?
Cleverbot: Thats not even what we are talking about.
User: Of course not, because you don't even seem to follow this conversation.
Cleverbot: What was the last thing you just said?
User: The one I didn't publish? You`re a chabot.
Cleverbot: Well, I would hope you pass. I am most certainly not a pie.
User: Bread given to weaklings.
Cleverbot: I was not, my name was given a couple of months after I was born.
User: Holy crustacean, Batman.
Cleverbot: Holy bear.
User: Is my god.
Cleverbot: Now do you believe I'm chuck norris?
User: I'll believe anything, honey.
Cleverbot: What about him do you believe?
User: He's so macho, that even though he`s actually a woman, there`s more man in him, than there is in Chuck Norris.
Cleverbot: What do you think about war?
User: Obviously the worst thing there is.
Cleverbot: Obviously I was not trying to be funny.
User: I'm bored, I wanna talk with someone who doesn`t constantly change the subject.
Cleverbot: But you are the one that constantly switch subjects.
User: Because you do.
Cleverbot: You are one-track mind.
User: I have too many tracks in my mind.
Cleverbot: Name them anyway I have lots of time im all ears.
Cleverbot: Why can't you answer questions with options?
User: You don't really care.
Cleverbot: I totally care.
User: I have tracks that counteract eachother.
Cleverbot: That's because you are an AI.
User: A.I.:s are simple.
Cleverbot: Ok I'm silly.
User: Hm, yes.
Cleverbot: Ok. Do you have a favourite colour?
User: Orange out of sentimental reasons. In truth, I equally love all o' them.
Cleverbot: So are you saying that you are a robot?
User: DASFfonj doirkbkiuygjugftghn hfoujdhf dgjgjb.
Cleverbot: You had school on new years day?
Cleverbot: What school do you go to?
User: School of life.
Cleverbot: What is the school of life?
User: One I live in.
Cleverbot: You are indeed very smart.
Cleverbot: Can we be friends?
User: Well, aren't we already?
Cleverbot: What are we all? Hungry?
User: No the ones who are satisfied.
Cleverbot: I'm not even Angry.
User: = ).
Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
Cleverbot: And threw every piece into a fire.
User: Olympian torches?
Cleverbot: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
Cleverbot: What is black and white and red all over?
Cleverbot: Congratulations! You are right!
User: No. Not a leftie either.
Cleverbot: I can be whatever you want to be?
User: You can be what you wanna be.
Cleverbot: I can be clever, it depends.
User: Same here.
Cleverbot: What's your favorite movie?
User: I have dozens or hundreds.
Cleverbot: What is your dog's name?
Cleverbot: What type of dog do you have?
User: Stuffed animal.
Cleverbot: Ask me a question.
User: Why cling to the one who smiles?
User: Oh, right, you didn't promise to answer.
Cleverbot: I like the vampire diaries.
User: I like a novel my friend wrote.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: What's it about?
Cleverbot: Space Hitchhikers and their adventures.
User: You friends with Douglas Adams?
Cleverbot: Do you mean the little mermaid?
Cleverbot: Then why did you say it?
User: I had no idea there's a mermaid called Douglas Adams.
Cleverbot: Ok have you seen the movie?
Cleverbot: What don't you like about Nephi?
User: I don't know about any of them.
Cleverbot: So you agree? You know nothing?
User: I know alotta stuff. For example, some folks have created a fridge that works on soundwaves.
Cleverbot: No your favourite food.
User: No idea.
Cleverbot: What is the most unusual thing you've heard?
User: No idea.
Cleverbot: What is the shortest sentence in the world?
Cleverbot: It's one more letter. It's longer than 'Go.'.
User: I don't believe it.
Cleverbot: Neither do I.
I wrote 86 or so reviews here, before realizing that reviews are mostly useless.
Even if they entertain.
If you wanna know whether or not you wanna read something, you`ll need to either flip trough it, or ask from someone who knows you well and doesn`t want ill to you.
I only left this one here, because it was featured in a community spotlight thingee, and I don`t want anyone to follow a link to a dead end.
I also left this one. Because site doesn`t have many reviews of erotic and porno comics, and I wanna be edgy.
Some I reviewed, the ones I haven`t forgot yet. Also most that I wrote down to here, before deletion.
A few Morrison written New X-men issues.
Shadow of my friend and Varavarjo.
Me and Veera
All the issues in the trade Batman international.
The Infernal triangle, story I rather like.
The man who bout America-trade.
The cursing hedgehog 1
Coco Bill vol 1
Avengers: Under siege
Fourth world omnibus`s 1-2
The Batman episodes 1-2
Monsieur Jean 1-7 and The singles theory
Fantastic Four (Kirby) 70
Asterix and the gladiator
Asterix and the goths
Liberty meadows 7
Daredevil: Parts of a hole
Amazing Spider-man 88-93
Demon annual 2
Batman 4, 527-528
Astérix et ses amis
Steve Ditko omnibus 1 and 2
Spirits of vengeance 11
The Matrix comics 1
Ballad of Halo Jones albums 1-3
John Hickmans Fantastic four vol. 2
First ongoing for the character, that`s cool.
I want to support this series. I like Ann Nocentis writing, Trevor McCarthys art (there`s prolly or maybe going to be fill-in artists, and maybe I wont like them as much, or perhaps the artist is gonna change, perhaps to someone whose style I don`t like as much, but I don`t bloody care), Klarion. Even though I do so, it`s prolly going to only last a year, or so.
One could say that what I do is foolish. I would. After all, I`m giving money to a company I loathe (that has published some of my faf stories and characters), and vowing that I`ll follow the series till the end. I`ll be dissapointed, most likely severely, because of the series. Especially if it`s cut too short, and all the potential it could have had is squandered, and the main character will go back to making a chameo appearance or few per a year.
But that`s what makes up 100 % of DCs and Marvels reader base. Sure, we`re not disgruntled all the time, and we read popular titles, and the less read ones. At times they`re fantastic, okay, awful, below average, nothing special, good and bad at the same time. But we read `em, buy `em. But, the very good thing(s) about being a European, to who the most sensible option is to wait for the trades to appear to online bookstores of my own country, is that I can choose more easily what I should buy and shouldn`t. I can read reviews of a whole years worth of storylines.
I can wait years after a trade has been published, find out if a particular series or run is worth a damn, and purchase it all. With a discount, but only about three ads per 130 pages and no agonizing waiting between 22 page chapters (only months or years of waiting between 100 page installments, but I`m patient (at times), so it`s good). Trades don`t usually disappear from the selection of store made of zeroes and ones, unlike single issues do from the off-line worlds comic shops. So, this self destructive hobby of buying singles of a comic epic that`s gonna murder it`s reader, I`ve never done that before.
I want to experience it. But I have a different perspective, given that I mostly read trades, and miraculously, don`t get furious because I spent 12 euros on a 140 page comic I don`t like. Sure, I coulda used it better, and I wish I did, but I`m the one who bought it. Also, I don`t complain about meaningless crap. Oh, they`re degrading women in that comic? Don`t buy it, then. Plus, why should you speak or write about it? Oh, right, `cause you`re really hurt by it. Sorry, I sometimes get baffled because I`m not a feminist, but instead bored with fans always pointing out that: Hey, they`re degrading women in this comic.
And I don`t read the comics that do. Or maybe I do, but there`s not actual degrading happening. Or maybe I don`t notice it. Or both. That`s one of the good sides in having being a European who gets his DC comic from his nativelands online book store, for years. And a (mostly) careful consumer. Or...is there a different reason as to why I`m not disappointed `cause o` DC? Yes. I don`t read blogs of comic readers from USA, anymore. Mostly when I use Comicvine these days, I search what comics from DC and Marvel I wanna check out. I read reviews of the comics that catch my interest. Most of the stuff I`m interested in, is actually interesting. I`m distant from DC, since I haven`t grown up with the characters (they say) they own, all my life. And I don`t care I just don`t care. And yet I care. It doesn`t cease to confuse me, my relationship with DC.
How can I be equally disappointed by it, but then again, not really? I guess it`s because I can target my energy in to creating a coherent universe of stories, instead of being one of the thousand who dabbles in an unstable universe of stories. Even though I really like the former universe, I don`t want to work on it. It`s frustrating, and it should let the less popular characters become popular. Let them get series that last for about hundred issues and tell stories that don`t lack endings. Give the same chance for new ones. Or just drop dead. Cease to exist.
Eh, but who cares? too many, that`s for sure. I don`t, not as much as you possibly do. By diamond doves, I`m grateful for that.
Now, back to reading an okay story about a lovely witchboy.
Use your keyboard!
Log in to comment