Squirrel Girl for the win. she is faster, stronger, and more resourceful than the guy with the crime lab + weapons locker tucked into his belt. she not only schools Deadpool & Wolverine but has been recognized by SHIELD as one of the most gifted fighters ever, and thats coming from a guy who has fought side by side with Capt. America on many occasions so you know he knows what he is talking about. she defeats beings out of her power level with a little bit of luck but also because she takes a moment to check her trading card info to figure out their weakness and then capitalizes on it. she also has Batman outnumbered with the assist from her squirrels, and those little guys will lay down their lives for her. Can Batman fend off a small hoard of angry squirrels? Sure, but can he do so while they are being given coordinated instructions by a keen tactical mind rather than just swarming en masse at the same time that tactician is using their distraction to set him up for the fall?
the joke of Squirrel Girl's win list is that we (almost) never see how she accomplishes her victories, but that doesnt negate the victories. and they are in continuity no matter how much some people think its just a bad joke. but the point of those fights isn't about showing how great a fighter she is, they are just a backdrop for showing her character which is that she is a determined, unstoppable force for good with the sunniest of dispositions. and when it comes down to it, Batman is the darkest of DCs good guys, so this is really a battle of light and darkness. whoever said Squirrel Girl takes it because of cheerful disposition crushing Batman's brooding made the most compelling argument for Batman's defeat here.
besides initially underestimating Squirrel Girl, I think Batman would find himself hard pressed just to want to throw a punch or batarang at the seemingly harmless goofy character. she certainly would not be committing a crime or doing anything else that would make Batman fight as if his life depended on it, so for Batman it would be less about defeating a great threat and more about surviving the sudden onslaught of someone who would see his dark, broody, spooky nature as being a "very bad man."
Log in to comment