inferiorego

ugh...

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Someone Puked During My Comedy Set

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I had a stand-up show last night, and it was by far the most surreal show I've ever done. I planned on doing roughly 15 minutes of brand new material. I ended up doing 25 minutes, and 10 of it was looking on the ground in pure horror. The host, Charlie Stone, a good friend of mine, introduced me as thus, "Who here likes optimism? Then you'll hate our next comedian. Ladies and gentlemen, Mat Elfring." I was berated with one of the loudest cheers and applause I've ever received, and grabbed the mic only to demand more cheering and applause.
 
I did my first bit on Thanksgiving and how I thought my sister was loosing her mind, and I was about to do a bit on Black Friday. I was nervous about the bit because I wrote it an hour before I went on stage and as soon as I started the joke, I hear a drink spill behind me and the crowd collectively said "ewwww." I turned around to see a viscous liquid all over the ground, and someone yelled from the crowd, "someone puked on the wall."  I stood and stared at the puke for a minute, then goofed on the guy. I started trying to do my set again, but pukey's friend got a mop and was about to clean it up, but he started threatening people, then the manager came over and screamed at him. I watched this for 5 minutes in horror, making odd commentary about the situation to the crowd, and confused about what to actually do.
 
I sat down on the chair next to the mic and decided to start doing my set again, since 10 minutes had gone by. "Hey, what's the deal with airline food." I'm glad to say, that got more laughs than the guy puking. Two people walked into the seating area and I started yelling, "Guys! you missed it! My set was doing so well that this dude started puking from laughing so hard. It was (curse word!)ing awesome." Again, got some big laughs and the crowd was finally paying attention again. Probably one of the scariest sets I've done simply because within a span of 10 seconds, I went from the crowd focused entirely on me to focused on some idiot who was super drunk at 9:30pm on a Wednesday. Overall, the set ended up being pretty awesome and I got a lot of support from fellow comedians: "great set sir...and the way you handled the vomiting incident was the best!" It will forever be my most memorable set....
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