Why Green Lantern's Ring is Overrated

It's said that a Green Lantern's Ring is one of the most powerful objects in the universe. It's limited only by its bearer's willpower. I'm calling BS on that. Why, you ask?

Because it can't make me a hoagie.

And that's what I want right now. A hoagie. Nothing fancy, just an Italian combo. And that is a feat that Green Lantern's ring simply cannot do. The ring can make me a green construct that looks like a hoagie. But it can't make me an actual hoagie. Green ham? What is this, a Doctor Seuss book? Green cheese? Not on my sammich! What do you mean the lettuce would only exist if he was concentrating on it? And if you think green bread is going anywhere but the garbage can, you have another thing coming.

This is all I want.
This is all I want.

Green Lantern's defenders will say that his ring can bring the hoagie ingredients to me, but so can Fresh Direct and no one is calling their truck the most powerful object in the universe.

It's fitting that the Green Lantern movie had a tie-in with Subway. They can't make a decent sandwich either. I said it.

Inability meets incompetence.
Inability meets incompetence.

Sure, his ring can save the world, but can it feed the hungry?

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