Dr_Harlequin

This user has not updated recently.

755 26 12 11
Forum Posts Wiki Points Following Followers

My thoughts on Halo 4, The Predecessor of What's to Come

A game that was released on November 6 of last year, that was made to further the adventures of the sleeping Green Giant: Master Chief.

A little late, but I wanted to share my thoughts of the game that turned me off to the Halo franchise...there will be spoilers. C'mon this games been out a while!

Note: I'm being half-serious, just trying to have a little fun.

Single Player Campaign:

Witness a Halo story like never before, as you uncover the mysteries of the Forerunners, an ambiguity that has been explored in-depth just to squeeze out more money to milk the franchise. Enjoy the opening cinematic experience that touches on The Master Chief's anti-social tendencies...as he talks more in this game than any Halo game COMBINED.

You will experience intense gameplay as you...press buttons to:

Insert your AI companion, Cortana, into a crap load of alien devices

Activate light bridges

Activate elevators

Open portals

Open doors

Activate scenery

And basically just pressing a lot of buttons...including mine.

A game that expanded it's weaponry...that are actually just replicas of their Forerunner/Human/Covenant counterparts. You will be enthralled as you are introduced to one of the Master Chief's greatest foes since...well...ever...

The Didact's Pinball Ship
The Didact's Pinball Ship

The Didact! A villain so menacing, he will be able to suddenly use the Force from Star Wars on the Master Chief just to avoid any direct physical conflict. Admire their confrontation in awe, as he randomly monologues about his hate for humans while The Master Chief doesn't say a single word. And watch as he is able to fly around in majority of the game in a Giant Pinball...ugh, seriously?

Also, meet The Librarian, former wife of The Didact. Witness her only appearance in the campaign to only deliver exposition and have The Master Chief defy the science of evolution. Seriously, no one thought it was convenient that she gave The Master Chief the thing he needed to survive just before he left Requiem?

Marvel at the climax of the game as The Master Chief must "stop the didact" (seriously, he said that so many times) in a "one final effort" (see what I did there?) to save humanity from this Star Wars, Pinball using warlord.

And then...get extremely irritated as you get pumped for an epic conclusion with The Didact, and then he anti-climactically gets defeated by a short quick-time event that was supposed to be the payoff for the build up from the entire middle half of the game...just to watch a soap opera between an anti-social killing machine and a talking computer.

Seriously. WTF.

Multiplayer: Engage in the popular, critically acclaimed multiplayer of the Halo series, as 343i gives the players the opportunities to spawn weapons out of their ***es and completely destroy the competitive nature of Halo.

Ordinance that gives players random weapons that completely makes the game unbalanced just because 343i thought new players were too stupid to find power weapons on their own.

Glance in wide-eyed disbelief of how many players play one single playlist, Big Team Battle, that only offer two maps since they get voted ALL. THE. TIME.

Let's be honest, no one's playing this game anymore:

No Caption Provided

You know it's a bad sign when your game's population since release represents a graph of exponential decay.

Ugh, I'm really worried about Halo 5 now.

16 Comments