Our Dog The Lesbian

Ok. My friend has a bad habit of leaving her panties in the bathroom on the floor after she showers. I woke up this morning and made my way to the bathroom to take my shower before work and on my way there I saw something you don't see everyday. Homegirl's dog was laying on the floor with her one of her panties, sniffing and licking it.

Alright that's all for today's blog. This is Cozy the prince, signing off.

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My Brother The Psycho

My bro, Butch. The psycho. Back in the islands his nickname was "Butchy The Butcher" because he used to torture little animals. He used to like baseball so he would steal chicken eggs and baby chicks then practice his fastball with them on brick walls. He found a puppy once and took it to the ocean as far out as he could go while standing and tossed it out to sea. It swam back. He did it again. It swam back again. He did it some more and noticed its belly growing (or should I say filling?). Long story short, the puppy eventually stopped swimming back because it stopped, period. He found another puppy once. My dad didn't approve and told him to get rid of it so he took it out back along with his favorite baseball bat. Well, that's a good place to end the blog. CozyDaPrince again, signing off, and one more thing: I'm not a psycho ... Yet.

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My Cousin The Convict

Last Tuesday my cousin, "Caps B", was released from prison. Word out on the street is he is looking for me. I'm scared, kinda. I spent one summer with dude in Watts, a section of Los Angeles, laden with crips and bloods. I was 12 and he was about 15. He stabbed a guy in the throat with a screw driver once. That sh!t was crazy. So about ten years later, he wants to see me. Last time he got out of lock up was that summer I was down in Watts. He was mad at me because this chick dumped me. He beat me up cause of that. This time I'm sure he's mad cause I never visited him while he was locked up. Well, CozyDaPrynce here, signing off, and remember: I haven't gone missing ... Yet.

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Shout Out To Satan

If you're expecting a blog about drinking blood from a goblet, or one about sacrificing virgins, you're going to be disappointed. Moving along, though, that Satan guy sure is one clever devil. I was meditating the other day when I received a powerful revelation. One that begs the question: can one be a Christian and a Satanist at the same time? ............ (waaaaaaaiiit!!!) ............ This isnt exclusive to Christians and Christianity. So, to all my Muslim and Judaic friends, and even you "Atheists" and "Agnostics", And whoever's left in between all those, you're not being left out, Mkay? Moving along some more, though, I didn't need to marinate on the question for too long. See, Satan doesn't need you to go to church. He doesn't even need you to worship him or acknowledge his existence. He's pretty flexible, actually. All you need to do is follow his example. Most of us do that already. Like Christianity, Satanism has commandments. Im sure some of you will be surprised at how many of these you actually follow. Now, let's examine them, shall we? ....................................................... [1.]Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. [2.] Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them. [3.] When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there. [4.] If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy. [5.] Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal. [6.] Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved. [8.] Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself. [9.] Do not harm little children. [10.] Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food. [11.] When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him ........................................... (Wait There's more) ................................. [1.] Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence! [2.] Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams! [3.] Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit! [4.] Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates! [5.] Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek! [6.] Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires! [7.] Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all! [8.] Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification! [9.] ................................ So, dudes and dudettes, this is Cozy Da Prynce, Giving a shout out to Satan, and signing off. OHH! And don't forget: I ain't going to hell ... Yet =]

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So When Do I Get My Powers?

Back in the 1940s the US government dropped 49 (if I remember correctly) nuclear bombs on a small island in the Pacific. The first bomb had a bigger blast radius than they calculated/expected so many islanders got effected. My mother descends from these folk. Now, to my understanding, nuclear disaster equates to radiation exposure which in turn equates to Super Powers. So, God, I know you listening so I'ma be straight with yo ass. Where da F*cks my POWER at, dawg? Anyway, this is Cozy Da Prynce, signing off, and remember: I ain't Spiderman ... Yet.

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For The Record

Last year I made me a twitter. I didn't intend to actually use it, though, and I haven't tweeted once. My intention was to set a record - most followers on twitter without actually tweeting. Yeah, it's a silly idea, but people get famous over stupid sh!t all the time, no? This is Cozy Da Prynce signing off and remember: I ain't Sh!t ... Yet.

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