Punisher: The Bachelor Party


DateMarvel Fanfare #4ViewRead the...
08/29/17Punisher: The Bachelor Party(Blog) (Forum)Disclaimer
RatingRating explanationLast Issue:
MFour letter language, graphic gun violence, description of lap dancers at work, human trafficking, death.Teenage Mutant Ninja Agents

T&A Exotic Dancers is exactly what it advertises- strippers showing their all to a steady stream of horndog drunks, frat boys, lesbians, and on many a Saturday night, bachelor parties. Like tonight. Tonight, the bachelor party is for...

"Joey Legonza!" calls the DJ, followed by cheers from a large group of rowdy men. "Joey Legonza! Report to the stage!" A happily tipsy man in the middle of the crowd of cheers tries to wave off the silhouetted man in the booth on stage left, but he persists, "We hear this is your bachelor party!" The cheers intensify. "That gets you a lap dance with two of our beautiful girls! Right up here on the stage!"

The whooping and cheering men begin to push Joey towards the stage, along with one woman in a yellow and black tube dress, yelling and cheering right along with them. "Joey! Who's that hottie?" Some whistles follow. "Is that your fiancée?" Joey shakes his head as the crowd herds him forward. "She's NOT?! I've got to meet her then! Glad to see you're not that whipped though!" Cheers and roars of laughter rock the club.

"Okay guys, hoist him up to the stage!" Joey's friends grab him by the arms and legs, and half-throw him onto the raised platform as two girls come from stage left to help him up. "Ooooo, Joey, it looks like you got a sweet deal tonight! Meet Domino and Holly Sugarrr!," he growled. "The Sugar Twinnnns!"

Whoops and cheers went up from the crowd. Joey pursed his lips with an overly appreciative head nod, and playing to the crowd, he struck a contemplative pose- left arm folded over his chest, right elbow resting on that arm, and right hand stroking his chin as if trying to decide which one to sample first. It was just further intoxicant to the exuberant swell of men.

With lust in his voice, the DJ sneered, "And tonight, Joey Legonza, you get to see Sugar in the RAWWWW!"

Joey rubbed his hands together expectantly, and his friends fairly gargled their cheers through their salivations.

"But FIRST," taunted the DJ as Domino brought out a chair from backstage, "Put your hands behind your back, Joey!"

Joey snapped to attention in a mock manner and clasped his hands behind his back. Domino set the chair directly behind him, and then took hold of his hands. Holly undid his belt, and slipped it expertly out of the belt loops. Joey raised his eyebrows and rocked to his toes, making excited faces at his friends. They ate it up, cheering him on. Domino sat him down, and Holly made a show of walking behind Joey to secure his hands with the belt.

Then the DJ commanded, "Now sit there just like that while the girls do their thing!" The music started, and the DJ taunted, "For the entire dance, Joey! No touching, only looking."

Joey's shoulders sagged in mock dejection, but he couldn't erase the playful grin from his face.

"That's right, grin you idiot," continued the DJ, "because it's for this dance, and the rest of your life!"

Joey couldn't help but laugh aloud with the crowd.

The girls did their job well, working both Joey and the watching crowd into a lather, teasing and taunting as they danced. Men from the floor walked up to the stage and threw bills of various denominations on the edge of the stage. As Joey enjoyed himself, the DJ called out, "So Joey, be honest: are you thinking about the Sugars right now, or your fiancée?" The crowd laughed as Joey mouthed something to the DJ. "Your fiancée? Really? Why have Sugar when you've got a honey waiting for you, right?" The crowd laughed, and the twins stood up with their hands on their hips, momentarily huffing at the DJ, making the crowd laugh louder. Then they smiled, and went back to work on their dance, determined to make Joey break.

Another twenty seconds into the song, the DJ said, "Joey, really- you still want to get married?"

Joey nodded enthusiastically.

The DJ yelled into the mic, "Everybody say, 'a$$#ole!'"

The crowd called out "A$$#OLE!" and then cheered.

"Show of hands," said the DJ, "How many of you guys know Joey's fiancée?" Every hand in the house went up. "Wow. Is she worth it?" The guys supportively cheered their friend's girl.

Another five seconds went by, and as Domino slid her body down the front of Joey's shirt and between his legs, expertly teasing him, the DJ sounded quizzical as he casually asked, "Joey, your fiancée- does she give good...y'know- what Domino's faking right now?" Domino winked up at Joey while Holly leaned to the front of the stage and winked at the crowd.

Joey craned his head back over the chair and gave an overexaggerated nod.

"You see all those hands out there?" asked the DJ. "THAT'S WHY!"

The room erupted with laughter and a synchronized "Oooooo" from the assembled men.

"What do you think she'd say if I asked her?" asked the DJ. Joey nodded with an assured look on his face, to which the DJ said, "So you think she'd tell me she's good at it too?"

Joey tossed his head backwards over the chair, clearly feeling the burn. His friends cheered uproariously.

"So what's her name, Joey?" the DJ asked as the girls danced around him. Joey answered, but couldn't be heard over the music. "What's that?" asked the DJ. "Anyone out there know the name of Joey's fiancée?" he called.

"JENNY!" roared the crowd.

"Jenny?" repeated the DJ. "Jenny? 'Joey & Jenny?' Really? That's too cutesy," protested the DJ. "I'm just going to call her 'Jennifer,' okay Joey?"

Joey shrugged.

The DJ just kept talking over the music. "So you're really in love with Jennifer, huh, Joey?"

Joey nodded seriously. Holly slid her hands around him from behind, rubbing from his shoulders, down his chest, and reaching for his waist, but pulling back at the last second.

"I would hope so- you popped the question, right?"

The crowd laughed good naturedly.

"Do you tell Jennifer that?"

Joey nodded again.

"Does Jennifer tell you that?"

Joey started to nod again, but was interrupted by Domino rubbing a hand along his cheek to his chin, and turning his head to within inches of her face.

"Yeah, of course she does," agreed the DJ. "What's not to love?"

The bachelor party cheered and whistled for their friend.

"Does Jennifer work?" the DJ asked.

Joey shook his head, sneering like it should be obvious that she wouldn't, then looked back at Domino.

"Stays at home then?"

Joey shrugged, smiling less, but clearly interested when Holly rubbed a hand across his other cheek to his chin, and turned his face away from Domino and back to her.

"Does Jennifer know what you do?" asked the DJ, sounding different; more menacing than playful now.

Joey looked back to the DJ with a what the hell look on his face, the crowd of friends quieting by half. Joey shook his head.

"Jennifer doesn't know that you traffic girls overseas?" the DJ taunted gruffly.

The other half of the crowd went silent.

"Jennifer doesn't know that she's the fifth fiancée this year?" snapped the clearly angry DJ.

The music stopped.

"Jennifer doesn't know that you're also known as The Black Widower?" The DJ sounded like he was barely holding his anger in check.

A distinctive CLACK and SHLICK-SHLACK was heard over the mic, and then the booth lights went on.

"You girls should duck now," said the Punisher, holding a Beretta to the DJ's head, and a sawed-off shotgun to the window.

BANG! went Castle's Beretta, and the DJ's brains exploded all over the window. BOOM! went the shotgun, and the window blew out onto the stage. The Sugar Twins screamed and ran backstage.

He grabbed a machine gun... and sprayed the room.
He grabbed a machine gun... and sprayed the room.

Suddenly, everyone in the room had a gun in their hand, but the Punisher was faster. He grabbed a machine gun that was slung over his back, and sprayed the room. Then he grabbed a grenade from his belt, lobbing it into the crowd. Then a second, and a third. A few shots rang out in his direction, and one even clipped Frank in the shoulder of his grenade arm, but it was over before anyone knew what hit them.

Joey Legonza, now sober, had come to realize that his hands were secured to the chair with his belt a lot tighter than he thought, so all he could do was shout, "Oh shit, man! Oh shit! Oh SHIT!"

The Punisher walked up to him, and put the shotgun to his forehead. Then looking down, he used the gun to poke Joey hard in the crotch, and said, "What's the matter, Legonza? You didn't like the dance?"

"N-nah," he lied. The Punisher scowled. "NAW, man, naw! I-I-I..." his voice dissolved into a whine. "I-I'm getting married tomorrow, man!"

Castle scowled harder, "At least for a week, before shipping her to the underbelly of Saudi Arabia, or India, or Moscow, right?"

Joey's face went completely hopeless.

"You really didn't like the girls?" asked Frank. "Is that why you do it? You hate women?"

"S-sure man," Joey sputtered desperately. "Whatever! The girls were great! They were fantastic! Best evUHG," he was cut off by the Punisher's shotgun being shoved into his mouth. A wet stain spread across his pants and down Joey's leg. Castle ignored it.

"Yeah, they weren't too bad," Frank agreed. He yanked the shotgun out of Joey's mouth, pumped it one-handed, and shoved it roughly back into his mouth, breaking teeth as he did so, making Legonza cry harder.

He was about to say something else when a shot rang out and hit him in the shoulder, spinning him to one side, and causing him to yank the shotgun out of Joey's mouth again. He was glad he'd worn the vest to this party. He caught another shot in the chest, and then ducked behind Joey, the only cover the stage had to offer. He looked out over the club full of bodies, and saw the woman in the yellow and black dress leaning halfway from her hiding spot behind the wall to the restrooms. She must have been in there when I took out the room, thought Frank.

"You son of a bitch!" shouted the woman. "Give up Legonza, you bastard!"

Frank swung the shotgun around Joey's side, and fired at the restroom, causing the woman to duck for cover. Then he called out, "Beatrix 'Killer Bea' Balcourt, right? Legonza's bodyguard, and top recruiter of women for the trade. You're on my list. I suggest you take the head start, and leave your boss to me!"

Things were quiet for several seconds, until Joey screamed in terror, "Bea! Get me the hell out of here!"

His only answer was the sound of a window breaking in the ladies’ restroom, and the fading call of, "Sorry, Joey!" as Bea made her escape.

Joey was shocked into silence as he stared at the restroom area, disbelieving that his bodyguard had just ditched him. "Oh, you freakin’...really?" he said weakly. "I don't believe it."

Frank chuckled. "Yeah, me neither. Offering a head start never works," he said as he stood up. "She might be smarter than I gave her credit for. Huh," he said with a little surprise as he walked back around in front of Legonza. Reloading his shotgun, he said, "Where were we? Oh yeah," and he jammed the shotgun back in the trafficker's mouth. "You should have gotten your dance in the V.I.P. room, Joey. You know why?"

The trafficker sobbed violently, tears flowing harder as he shook his head with some difficulty due to the shotgun.

Frank's face went serious and dark as he answered, "They're known for their happy ending."


Please let me know what you think, and thanks! -cbOriginally Presented In: CCC #52.
This story continued in: Super-Team Family #610.-