@blood1991: This is how I perceived the course of events we were discussing: Guy sees an attractive cosplayer and says "dayum, girl." I suggest that she say "Um, I'm not really comfortable with you talking to me like that." If he's a reasonable guy he says he's sorry, maybe adds "you're just really pretty" if he can't quite take a hint (even if saying just that might have been fine if he'd opened with it).
Yet somewhere in there you got the idea that she should sue him or try to get him kicked out for saying she was hot, and that not doing so is the reason that rapes and assault and such don't get dealt with?
I'm sorry, but for very personal reason I can't do this any longer. Not without throwing my laptop at the wall.
@blood1991: Well, I'll reiterate that we seem to be talking about different things, and that I disagree with disproportionate response. And honestly, if there's a countersuit for frivolous lawsuit and he wins, he learns that he can harass a girl and make her pay for complaining about it, so that undermines your argument. If he's the sort of guy who can learn, then hitting him over the head with a court appearance is more likely to make him hate the girl (and maybe seek revenge) than feel guilty and respect her.
Honestly I have no idea what you talking about then.
It seems that woman is f__ked no matter what she does and that is just the way it is for trying to stick up for herself.
@betatesthighlander1: But I could get robbed regardless of my clothes. Either way I'm expected to be prepared to be attacked, and people shouldn't have to be afraid to walk around with loose pockets, or just accept that heels, a corset, a skirt or shorts make them a target for sexual assault. Nor should they be talked down to if they are attacked for wearing something listed.
They aren't asking for it and they shouldn't have to live in fear, when we should be doing more to stop violence in the first place.
@blood1991: To answer your question, no, it isn't always disrespectful. There are plenty of people who -- well maybe not a phrase that trite, but something similar -- would take it as a compliment. I believe in proportional response, and you seem to be advocating more of a slash and burn approach. Maybe if all, or even the majority, of women felt uncomfortable or oppressed for receiving compliments on their looks or figure from strangers, then you could make a case for someone going to court? But as it's such an inconsistent thing, that quite honestly depends on who the speaker is, the recipient, what's said, and how it's said. Maybe you and I are just thinking of completely different situations? But at least the kinds of things I'm talking about, if I saw someone brought to court for that, not only would I expect to see the case thrown out, but then I'd expect a counter-case for frivolous lawsuit.
But that woman felt sexually harassed. Should she ignore that? Just a "I am wearing a skirt and heels today so I guess I should get used to people making me feel uncomfortable" and if this were a same gender case involving two men would the rules be the same. Oh well that was inappropriate and made me uncomfortable, but I'll let it slide. I understand some of it may seem extreme but punish something and people are less likely to do it. The repercussions of rape, sexual assault and harassment are pathetic in the United States.
That case probably would be thrown out and maybe there would be a counter sue, but the experience will remind him to be more respectful and just because Milly liked the "dayum girl" doesn't mean Jessica will.
I don't think someone should have to feel helpless to being harassed even if someone else doesn't think it is a big deal because to the victim it might be. She could have been in a previous situation where she was harassed and stood by and let it happen until the guy got touchy because she didn't want to "overreact" when harassment is something that should be confronted.
@akbogert: But isn't it always disrespectful whether wearing a winter coat or a swim suit to make such a statement? Shouldn't that person learn a valuable lesson from their actions? If a person gets away with a comment like that, what is to stop them from furthering their advancements? Stop it from that start and unless they are incredibly thick skulled they won't be doing it again.
If they go to court than it is for a judge to decide and I doubt a "dayum girl" will have a man convicted but the experience will certainly make him think twice before acting like a pig.
@betatesthighlander1: Does the person attracting those people need to accept responsibility for being hounded? Or should they be responsible for their actions against that person?
Instead of warning a person that a certain look or outfit may attract the wrong kind of attention we should teach people not to harass them or suffer the consequences of their behavior. A skirt isn't an invitation for someone to harass them and saying so shames victims of sexual harassment into blaming themselves over someone else's inability to control them self.