Top Ten Heroes who are secretely gay! (Joke)

List items

  • Hal Jordan is the perfect picture of a man "Trapped in the Closet". While his ring can make his uniform look like anything(like Guy's awesome costume), Hal chooses the tightest outfit possible to accentuate his "power battery". And for someone whose power is based on imagination, he sure uses a giant fist a lot. Can someone say "fisting"? I think I know the real reason Sinestro left the Green Lantern Corps. Don't Ask, Don't Tell

  • The Naked Spaceman himself. The Surfer patrols the universe in search of food for his master, Galactus. Could Norrin's devotion to Galactus be connected to something other than servitude? Maybe he got a peek at what the World Eater was packing under that purple skirt of his

  • Mentioning purple skirts: Why would a man to choose to wear one? Hawkeye may have had a wife, and a couple of lovers, but the archer may be packing more than arrows in his closet. Methinks he has a bit of a crush on Steve Rogers, and maybe his arrows aren't the only shafts he plans on stroking,

  • So why would Booster make this list? First, just look at this guy. His whole outfit screams "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". Secondly, his "friendship" with Blue Beetle is a little suspicious. And the most damning evidence is the fact that he named his robotic partner "Skeet". Can someone say Freudian slip? Ah, Skeet, Skeet.

  • Let's see about this: Skimpy "mankini"-Check, Ruler of "Sea-men"-Check, Consistent need to be on top-Check. Yep, Namor is full-blown gay. Maybe he should be called the "Queen of the Seas"

  • Well, what makes Steven seem homosexual? Is it the wardrobe that looks at if it was borrowed from Elton John's closet? Or maybe it's because he lives alone with a man called Wong? How about all of the above? Strange makes Kris Angel look straight

  • Marvel's resident berserker has had his fair share of women, but somehow his relationships just never seem to work out. Maybe the ol Canucklehead is covering for something. Have you seen the way this guy looks at Cyclops? There's definitely some sexual tension there.

  • Fabio with a hammer. Thor would rather spend his time surrounding by drunken, muscular men in "Ass-gard". No wonder Wiccan originally modeled himself after him? And let's not mention the time he took off his pants and asked to "hammer" Volstagg. Verily, tis true.

  • Clark is supposed to be the pinnacle of all superheroes. So, why does he choose to sport tights pulled straight out of a gay pride parade, and wear his underwear on the outside? Plus, he keeps trying to stick his "kryptonite" into Batman's "Fortress of Solitude"

  • Speaking of Batman, Bruce tops the list in hidden homosexuality. He constantly takes young boys into his "Batcave" to train(Jason Todd is still in therapy). He called his first sidekick "Dick". His archnemesis dresses like a flamboyant clown wearing lipstick and is likely in loved with him. And with women like Catwoman, Vicky Vale, and Wonder Woman around, he still chooses to be single. Maybe this bat is into a different kind of "cave". Holy, rectal distress, Batman!