Church of Backstabber

It began like any other dream. Jason stood naked in the middle of a wrestling ring, in an abandoned arena with all spot lights on him. Around him circled four plus sized women dressed in edible thongs, cheering his name with glee as they planned to jump on top of him. Soon the nasty love making would begin involving everything from vibrating sex tools to outrageous costumes, and several, several primal screams. But before the triple rated X affair could begin, a dense fog of smoke filled the arena in his dream. Soon Jason could no longer see where he was or more importantly, who he was with, and was almost moved to tears as the women left his sight. Then as quickly as it rolled in, the fog lifted and Jason found himself standing as a preacher in a full red flowing robe. He was now standing before his followers and legions, as the one and only speaker for the great and powerful “Holy Church of Awesomeness!”With a wave of his hand the congregation arose, revealing waves and waves of even more oversized plus sized women, all wet just from being in his presence. In the upper balconies, stood the legends of awesomeness. Men who were real men like Chuck Norris, Bruce Campbell and The Undertaker, all giving off hand signs of mad respect to the Backstabber, their recognized superior! Again Jason signaled them to sit down and as they did he prepared for today’s lesson, “How awesome I truly am!” Before he begins, he takes a brief second to pick his nose followed by wiping his hand against his sleeve. Immediately he opens with a crowd favorite “Who Loves the Backstabber?!?” but instead a loud ear piercing feed back filled the room. Jason shortly fiddles around with his mike then declares, “Whoever is the freak in charge of the freaken sound quality should be…. ( the crowd waits on the edge off their seats) should be stabbed in the freaken back!” and immediately, the crowd goes wild in cheer! Finally the crowd settled down, but not before the women threw their pantie towards him, some still giving off heat. Jason quickly clears his throat, then slams his hand against the podium and begins, “Today we will begin with a story about a day in my most awesomeness of life. Today as I was taking a massive dump on the toilet, (again the crowd shouts halleluiah)I was so blocked up I thought I would never drop this load. So I grabbed hold of the seat, grunted like a MAN and low and behold, I dropped it.” He then raised his hands up wide apart shouting “and It was this freaken big! Seriously it was so big I didn’t even think it would flush.” He then waits a second to build suspense and finishes with, “BUT IT FREAKEN DID!” At this point in the dream a wagon train full of cheap whiskey road across the sides of the cathedral but to Jason it was all to normal! It was then time for communion, the spiritual sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, and as such the women filled the isles. One by one they walked up to Jason, with their cleavage hanging out begging “Give me your manly load, oh awesomeness one” followed by moans of satisfaction. In response, he whips out a can of cool whip and proceeds to anoint each bosom with a can full. Followed by the all to important placing of a strawberry between them, and of course….the motor boating! It was now time to end the proceedings but not before Jason commented on the massive size of his penis and whipping it out.It was now time for the skinny dipping in the holy water, and Jason was first to rip his clothes off. In one huge splash the congregation joined in and once again the orgy was on! But like in his earlier dream a dense fog rolled in ripping away images of the Holy Church. He reached out to grab hold of it like a child in a nightmare reaching for a door at the end of a hallway with the hallway never ending. Finally the fog lifted, and this time he found himself tied down to a hospital bed with a naughty nurse standing over him. In an oh so sexy voice she says, “Why hello there Mr Backstabber, you dirty dirty boy. Looks like you need some extra special medical care. Lucky for you I know just how to take care of you!” She then leans over flashing her boobies in his face as she fluffs his pillow. Now getting into the new dream, Jason winks back at the naughty nurse saying, “Well then I’ve got a huge throblem that only you can take care of. If you know what I mean?!?” Then suddenly the dream turned wrong as the once erotic dream now became a nightmare. From behind her back, the naughty nurse pulled out a big thick thermometer, three times larger than a normal one. Then in a manly voice she declared, “Time to bend over, and take your temperature, Mr. Buttstabber!” From that point on Jason screamed in fear, doing everything he could to wake up. But the question is not whether he woke up before or after the probing, the question is, How awesome his church would be?

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