Least favorite movies

One of these days I'm going to have to make a list for positive things.

Anyway, I'm not including movies like "Batman & Robin" (because personally I think of it as "so bad it's good") or like "Green Lantern", "Daredevil", or the Ghost Rider movies (because I didn't think they were as bad as everyone says)

The main reason "Hulk" isn't on this list is because I was to young to remember that when I saw it.

List items

  • Proving that Hollywood has no respect for the source material whatsoever. From turning the Mist into "insta-illusion in a spray can" rather than a universal paranormal-concealing force (no, really) to lazy writing like Tyson's "introduction" and why Annabeth dislikes cyclops's. It also fails to see the point of the prophecy, since now it's "an EVIL soul cursed blade shall reap".

    Also, Circe's spa is removed. Now how will they explain Reyna in "Heroes of Olympus"? (Though considering how this went, that may be a good thing. Why should 2 book series be ruined?)

    The biggest flop, of corse, is Chronos's premature resurrection, as well as the implication that Luke is just now going to him for help, not him being behind the theft of the lightning bolt. And he eats Luke. If Luke keeps working for him through the rest of the series, I will lose all respect I had for the character as a villain.

    It was bad enough that they aged up Percy just to appeal to the demographic of horny psycho-fangirls, but this is over the line.

  • WHERE DO I BEGIN? Well, I suppose the fact that the title is misleading. There is no Iron Man in the movie. Just Tony remote-controlling the suit (proving Captain America's accusations of him not being a hero right). And what a suit it is. Dozens of upgrades after armors that can shrug off tank shells and hold their own against the mighty Thor, this new suit can malfunction and fall apart CONSTANTLY! Including when it gets hit by a friggin' truck! (No, not one that was thrown at him, it just drove by)

    Then there's the matter of the panic attack subplot. Y'know, the one that was built up as such a big part of the story but was forgotten halfway through? And never interfered with any fight scenes?

    But without doubt, the single greatest way this movie flopped was the Mandarin. What was built up as the long-awaited confrontation between Iron Man and his greatest nemesis became a bad joke at our expense. What's worse? The real villain turns out to be some douche who wants revenge for some harmless prank Tony pulled on him 13 years prior, and then gets his ass kicked by the combat-inexperienced Pepper.

    And, the cherry on top, a pointless and boring end-credits scene.

  • What are these movies called? "Transformers". Not "Stupid annoying humans and their stupid annoying human drama", f*cking "TRANSFORMERS"!!! I don't see these movies to watch Mark Wahlberg be even more annoying than Shia LeBeouf (yeah, I can't believe I just said that either) as he prioritizes bitching about how his daughter has a boyfriend over the fact that he's being hunted by the government and a giant robot assassin. And because we were forced to watch this, those giant robo-dinosaurs from the trailer only got like 5 minutes in the movie!

    What's worse, it's almost like the movie is aware of this and just keeps giving us the middle finger about it. Optimus gives the throwaway line "I had the same problem with Bumblebee" rather than the movie actually giving any focus on Optimus and Bumblebee's relationship. And at the end of the movie, Optimus rockets into space to finally get to the bottom of that plotline about his creators that the movie did very little with, leaving those damned human characters behind, only for the movie to end there.

  • This movie was so bad it actually shook my faith in Superman for a while. What looked like it would be a fitting tribute to Richard Donner's legacy became worse than anything Schumacher could have done. Partially having to do with how the story, the villain, pretty much everything was ripped off from the original movie.

    Rather than one big plot hole (like giving the laws of physics the middle finger and saying that the Earth's rotation and the flow of time are somehow linked), this one has MANY plot holes. Like, how did nobody notice Clark Kent and Superman vanishing off the face of the Earth and returning at the exact same time? What kind of mother takes her kid on board the suspicious yacht, but not a cell phone or something? WHY DOESN'T THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE HAVE A FREAKING LOCK!?!?

    Above all there's the fact that it was just. So. Damn. BORING! Watching wimpy pacifist Superman getting his ass kicked by the not-in-any-way-remotely-smart Lex Luthor's thugs. Yeah, that'll make for a great movie.

    Seriously, Singer, stick to fixing the X-Men, because Superman is not your strong suit.

  • Frankly I was already sick of the "all establishment = fascism" theme that CBMs are always using, but this movie takes it to new heights.

  • For a film series where everyone keeps having to tell Damian not to kill the bad guys, you'd think he wouldn't be the ONLY one in this movie to actually attempt not to kill anyone, right? Wrong. The Bat-Family are Avengers-level murderers in this movie. Not even Mad Hatter was spared, even though he was only part of the plan under constant death threat (even APOLOGIZING to Damian for it) and he got his friggin' head blown up for it!

  • Not only does this include every criticism I have about the original, but here they did even less. The stakes had been raised from just their lives to the fate of the world. Great. but they didn't even stop Galactus. The Surfer did.

    They didn't do anything fantastic. Seriously, how much clobberin' did the Thing do in this one? Nothing. It was just a bunch of family drama. And then there was Sue, who spent half the movie whining "wah, I don't have time to care about the fate of the whole planet, my wedding is more important". (And people say Reed is the jerk in the relationship)

  • It was REALLY hard to pick which Fantastic 4 movie was worse. But I decided this one was slightly better. Slightly.

    Now, the Fantastic 4 of the comics was really more cosmic adventurers than superheroes. Here they were neither. And then there's Doctor Doom, if you can call him that. More like the ambition-less businessman with zappy-zappy powers they tried to pass off as Doctor Doom.

    The plot was just crap. There was no plot to take over the world. It was just some dude trying to kill them and they fight him. No city in danger, no evil plans, nothing.

  • Everyone constantly accuses DC's live-action movies of being "dark" and "gritty", yet their animated movies prove to be WAY worse. Developed characters being pointlessly killed off midway through the film, for example. Then there's how once the bomb implants are disarmed, the Squad completely abandons the plot of the movie and runs for the nearest exit. There's literally no reason to get invested in any of this.

  • The first 2 Spider-Man movies were far from perfect, sure. But they were still enjoyable. That's because the first 2 were superhero movies. This was a daytime soap opera, complete with stuff like romantic drama, amnesia, and lots of crying. Way too much screentime wasted on shit like relationship troubles and love triangles. With the occasional Tobey Maguire wearing a shredded costume and getting the shit kicked out of him.

    Sure, a meteor just happens to fall out of the sky and land next to Peter. Or, for that matter, that it goes completely unseen. NASA didn't seem to notice, there was no shockwave created from it (go look up footage of the Chelyabinsk meteor when you have time) hell a meteor that size should've just burned up in the atmosphere.

    Peter finally starts to become more like his classic quipping self, only for the film to treat it negatively as if the lesson is "don't take pride in your accomplishments"

    I don't know who's the bigger moron: Peter for kissing Gwen the exact way he kissed MJ in the first movie, or MJ for getting upset even though she's a goddamn actress and fake-kisses people all the time!

    Three villains at once all out of pure coincidence. One is revealed to be Uncle Ben's killer, despite it adding very little to his character that the sick daughter didn't already. All ending in Eric Foreman being Venom for less than 5 minutes (I checked). Most of which was without the (surprisingly well-done) Venom face.

  • From ghost-Mandarin to the iconic red-and-gold look only getting one scene, this movie shows that you don't need Shane Black to make a terrible Iron Man movie.

  • So, Logan has become a hobo out of guilt from killing Jean (who he knew for what adds up to like a day), but some hunters killing an unconvincing CGI bear is enough to get him to break that. Then a woman who traded her psychotic personality from the comics for a mutant power that's never once used with any proven accuracy summons him to meet a guy he met in WW2 (and somehow remembers, despite how his entire character was centered around being an amnesiac) and offers to take his healing factor. Even though Logan completely hates his life and has every reason to take him up on that offer, he doesn't, for no discernible reason. Then while he's sleeping, some assassin chick... I dunno, kisses a machine into him or something, that stuns his healing powers (yet somehow his knuckles still heal when he uses his claws). So while he's protecting a girl we don't really care about, there's something about a family business and the Yakuza that nobody cares about. Then Logan gets filled with arrows that in the comics he would've either dodged or shrugged off easily, and has to fight some mecca we're supposed to accept as Silver Samurai, piloted by the old guy who's become a cartoonishly one-dimensional villain. And he tries to drain Logan's healing factor, which for some reason starts rapidly re-aging him, which is NOT HOW CELLULAR REGENERATION WORKS! Then Logan gets his bone claws back, even though Magneto fixes that offscreen before Days of Future Past, making that entirely pointless.

  • Same problem as F4 2, really. You don't spend an entire movie building these kids up as the "chosen ones" and then have Hulk be the one to defeat Ultron for them!

  • Basically everything that's wrong with Ultimate: everyone's either an a-hole or ends up dying.

  • And now we come to the old Captain America movie from the 1960's. (Assistant whispers something in my ear) Wait, 1990!? Then how do you excuse such sh*tty production value? It looks like they shot this thing with a freaking cell phone!

    Aside from the obvious rubber ears, the movie tried to make the Red Skull, one of the most monstrous villains in comics, more sympathetic. And Italian. And he keeps sending supermodels to kill Cap while he plans to brainwash the president. I'm sorry, is this a sh*tty Captain America movie or a sh*tty James Bond movie?

    Then there's what a terrible superhero Captain America is. He spends most of the movie getting his spandex-clad ass kicked. (When did Captain America become New 52 Batgirl?) Seriously, this is supposed to be the guy who...did ANYTHING Cap does in the comics. (I can't even narrow it down) I know I tend to bitch about what a Mary-Sue Cap was in the "Winter Soldier" movie, but this is much much worse.

    To say nothing of the poorly-written plot, which forcefully compressed being frozen in ice, a re-unite with the Skull, and more crap (WITHOUT the Avengers). And the needless mystery of the Skull's identity. Literally it had no effect on anything.

  • The Hulk is the villain. That's right. Hulk has been flanderized from short-tempered but well-meaning caveman to a monster that, and I'm quoting directly here, "won't stop fighting until everyone's dead".

  • First off, there's the fact that Logan's claws somehow look more fake than they used to after about 9 years.

    Another major problem is the fact that there were so many pointless cameos which completely screwed up the continuity and ruined a lot of potential for later movies.

    Oh, and Deadpool. 'Nuff said.