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The Challenges of a Bound Heart

It's like I've fallen from the clouds into a pit of fire. Only I can still see heaven, where I know I belong. What is this cruelty upon my soul, why do I suffer in a loop neverending. My journeys have taught me that taking my own life would be futile, I'd just be one of those lost souls waiting for passage between the light and dark. I tried to do good, really tried. But here I am, surrounded by my own version of hell...Where I want to inflict pain and suffering.

NO I'M NOT CRAZY. At least, not in the traditional, padded room, straight jacket way. Who knows, maybe I am. I can't tell anymore. My actions are not my own, even though I can feel myself carrying on, thinking "No, stop" and still doing so. I listen, so quietly, and intently, and I can not hear my heart beating within my own chest. I can't feel the blood pulsing through my veins, warming me all over, and no heart beat. I'm a fictional thing, something not real, not whole. An idea, is who I am. The Ether, plays me like an instrument, pressing my buttons, blowing inside of me, vile wind, and seeing just how high pitched I can scream.

I don't like it, and I don't it. But, I am bound, by the darkness that bore me, and my forefathers. My ancestral blood, is a stain on this life, and all lives. I wan't to do good. I can't help but do evil things.

For the first time; as I swat my hands at living creatures only to assimilate them into this rotting pestilence that I command, I smile. It is because I wished harm, and harm was done. Black fingers, wrap around my heart and squeeze real tight. The goodness that was left there squishes and oozes out, splatting against my insides. I spit it out, and that is all that was left of what I had. The last drop of compassion, spittle on the sidewalk.

A new day dawn, and with the sunlight creeping along the horizon, I am born anew. Something bad, wrong, and malign. The only problem I see now, is how will I become more powerful, and how I will destroy those who stand in my way.

I used to think that I had a choice...But now, I see that, all along, there was no such thing. I'm a vile creature, the stuff of nightmares. I'm angry without reason, and my mind will twist your words against me. A puppet of the Ether, and I must remember my royal blood. I deserve this power. Screams sooth me...To watch death amuses me...I like it.

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