Oh boy, here we go again.
By _Dox_ 17 Comments
Well, this is it. One of these people will become the next president of the U.S. of A. Can't say I'm looking forward to it. In fact, I'm writing this on a plane to an unspecified country with adequate living conditions and no nuclear missiles to be bombed by the nutbags soon to be in the oval office. So let's begin.
Samuel "Uncle Sam" Washington.
First off, Uncle Sam? I mean that's pretty desperate. Running around calling yourself a symbol of 'murica and wearing an american flag is pretty sad for someone not calling themselves Allegiance. This guy has "meta-human" powers, but claims he's not a mutant, and I'm inclined to believe him, for the simple reason that the blood tests said so. I'm normally not one to criticize anybody for providing false information, but the media has been telling everybody that this is not true. It is, in fact true, unlike so many things political types say. I would go into detail about his lack of political background, but he has had some, however small, time in the political world. Unlike... let's see...NONE OF THE OTHER CANDIDATES!
Jean Quentin.
This guy is a mutant, and his campaign is built around it. He could be our first mutant president, just like Thomas Newcastle was our first flaming agent of Satan president. This guy can blow $#!% up with his mind, so he won't really be needing secret service. He's also a doctor, which doesn't matter in the slightest.
Tristyn Goldyne
This guy is bald, and thus clearly evil. And I'm not just joking this time. He's been called a racist for his extreme views on mutants and metahumans. I don't think the media is being fair, though. He would probably make a fine president, compared to the one who abandoned an entire city, the one who instituted the Registration Act, and the one who has a flaming agent of Satan.
Alexander Donn
This guy is a mystery. Like most of the others, no political experience, an independent, and fairly moderate views on most issues. Seems like he'd mostly maintain the status quo, so I'm opposed.
Kelly Coltaine.
Also a non-mutant meta, and the only conservative candidate, which aligns perfectly with her stance on legalizing marijuana.
So that's the crop. Honestly, it could;t get much worse if Donald Trump announced he was running. With the Whig party of course. There's no way that can be his real hair.
--Dox in a Box.
#7BillionMatter
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