stahlflamme's New Avengers #11 - Meet the Parent review

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We're awesome because those are shit and have you seen my personality?

So, I read another issue of this series, because it focuses on some of my favorite characters and hey, I said the book should focus on less characters, right?You already saw the rating above? Okay, then...

The book starts with Scarlet Witch seductively sitting in front of her son and his boyfriend wearing that old bathing suit outfit most artists avoid using by now and talking to them teasingly. It comes down to her being so omnicient and all and how Wiccan should become Wiccan.

Lets tie that one up I looked for Wiccans who have a problem with this, didn't find any only people who either liked it or were amused by it. I did find people who are angry about what Ewing had him say about his jewish religion. More importantly however Marvel currently has a currently used character called Brother Voodoo, who supposedly is a practioctiner of voodoo has zero elements from the religion, but is a hollywood voodoo priest. With Wiccan that would be the same no actual culture, but the "title" of being a practiotiner while showing of his good old lightning blast magic. As a matter of fact this book fills Scarlet Witchs luxurious apartment with thick fog to make that already clear. Essentially you could just as well ponder how offensive it is to create a fictional white tiger god, when there are multiple cultures with actual white tiger gods. Oh, and now that he is talking to Scarlet Witch its of course its magic again.

On a different note she talks with Wiccan how creating a perfect world through reality warping his perfectly acceptable, but then comments on M-Day a story that basically started with her trying to do just that.

Anyways they leave the apartment and talk about how they live with Wiccans apartment, which Hulkling didn't do for almost all his history and which had already been said earlier that issue with Wanda. Shall we say it a few more times in case someone didn't get it yet, as if it has any plot importance? Its of course all about their wedding, because hey, obviously there is nothing else to talk about then weddings unless we talk about kissing right? Now that Teddy has nothing to do on earth, why doesn't he go be that spaceking he had no reason not to be immediately after he accepted he would become that? Is it because I told Ewing on Twitter why that was a garbage idea? No, can't be the first time I said something that didn't stroke his ego he immediately blocked me, he doesn't read my tweets.

Anyways we get a news report which comes down to every other book has done media satire by now so we have to as well. We get Cap saying how not everyone is made to be an Avengers, despite being the one who made Hawkeye, Wiccan, Hulkling and I believe Sunspot into Avengers and literally came to Powermans and White Tigers Avengers for help. So good job on continuity, Ewing!And Hulkling to show of his borderline speak impedement some more and make fun of his name, but he thinks its cool. Yeah, Hulkling these days comes down to funny name, not a hulk, Wiccans boyfriend.

And now we get to the insulting part that really shows how little research Ewing did on these characters.
Hulkling suggests they could be the Young Avengers again, but Wiccan is against it. Why? Its just a name. Oh, because Flashback to the two of them being in A.I.M.s control room for the first time, don't hold your breath for the reason they joined, this is just supposed to be retroactive character development.

Sunspot tells them how this is not a training ground he doesn't need the Avengers of the future and how he doesn't need people who wait for permission.


The Young Avengers formed against the will of the Avengers, continued against the will of the Avengers, fought in the superhero civil war while you were to obscure to appear, were the first to react to the Secret Invasion and fought against the Avengers. They are not the Avengers of the future they are the next generation of heroes, as in the generation that already starts working while the previous generation is still in business. THEY ARE ALREADY HEROES and anyone that read as much as one page of anything that wasn't written that isn't written by Gillen who made pretty clear he thought the original team was lame and Ryan North, who wrote a short series that had pretty much zero plot, would know that, but Ewing is a groupy of those two so it can't be helped I guess.
Why research Wiccan and the Scarlet Witchs previous meeting just because you write Wiccan and Scarlet Witch meeting, right?

Then scene continues to tell us essentially how Wiccan might be angry at Sunspot, but he is totally right, about the thing that is completely wrong. Oh, you get its the whole we might not like him but he is such an awesome leader and person anyways line other people made work, but Ewing is not good enough to.

We switch to Hawkeye who was fired by shield and angry about it despite, having purposefully betrayed them. Songbird shows up and Hawkeye tells her bad she is. Its probably one of the better scenes in this series, because it but it can't save the issue then they notice the Plunderer, some cartoony Z-List villain Ewing uses because FUNNY NAME!

They fight the other team shows up and effortlessly take them down. Hulkling doesn't carry the lame space sword, which suggests someone else wrote Ewing on the social media or one of his guycrush writers mentioned in passing that swords are lame.

After the fight Hawkeye joins up the team and Wiccan is made leader. Probably would make more sense to build up Hulkling as a leader given the king of lame space elves storyline, but he is just a sidekick. Sadly Wiccan is only the leader because he was the guy who decided that the Young Avengers were lame and they needed the new Avengers title. Not because he showed leadership qualities during the fight.

Time for something this book has always been good at self-congratulation. Songbird tells them how taking down the Z-list villain was A-list work and the team tells her to piss off.

Sunspot then calls her and tells us how she was triple spie. Yeah, this all comes down to how Sunspot had this all planned out and how he trusted every member of the team so that his masterplan could be pulled of, which is probably revealed as some complete asspull in the last issue and how he completely blindsided shield and maker and is so friggin awesome. Maybe he even dies of his illness and we get a speech at his grave how friggin awesome he was and smart. I only feel reminded that in both Gillens and Norths Young Avengers the team was mainly defined by being easy to manipulate with the manipulaters getting away. Not like the guy who infiltrated castle doom by himself or the guy who tricked reed richards and tony stark and brought down prison42 during the civil war, would be helpful and interesting to use in a spie battle.

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