Think Joker's just sitting back, letting Batman create his own army of Batmen? No, the Duke of Death is creating his own team:
JOKER, INC.
And while the Bat Brand is worldwide, Joker's going global - even recruiting outside the DCU...
>> Joker's mouth has been edited for language and long lapses into maniacal laughter <<
Anyone have any leads on the OTHER members of Joker, Inc.?
"Clown KING of Crime"
"Top that, Bats, you company manwh*#@!" - (King) Joker
"Is Bats stuffing every bimbo he dates in a batsuit?! Then my own hench wench deserves sidekick status! And just in time, I hear dear, sweet Batgirl - nix that blonde bimbette - is showing her face again! Let's see if she remembers mine..."
"Eh, he's new in town, I know. But hey, loaded for bear, white as a sheet, nearly as psychotic as that Robin $#*@... it's like I'm looking in a mirror!"
"At last! I get a cut of my own action figures! And, uh... we'll slap some facepaint on him, and a truckload of purple for his suit...? Maybe I give him the 'Batgirl Special', then walk out with the merch instead..."
"Hatter-haters, I hear you! But this sawed-off runt can run Gotham while I chase 'Batbrand' and kick his ass around the world in 80 days! 'Sides, he's got plenty for that $#*@-eating 'Batfan' poser scooting around the city these days..."
"'Gee, Mister Joker, all I do is troll the forums; what name am I gonna get?'"
"'Yeah, me too! What? Seriously? Guess I like it better than my last handle...'"
"But 'Stooge' was inspired! Don't gripe, or instead of quadruple-extra-large bird suits you big lugs'll get purple unitards - uhn! Brainlock! Never mind, get me some aspirin and a hammer!"
"Trump cards. Lethal, ruthless, unfocused: I raised 'em right..."
"Dupergirl, I know, a stretch; but when Hatter gets her a spiffy headband, wardrobe upgrade to purple and green, and some decent makeup... let's just say, Supes better stay in Metropolis..."
"Funtress! Dig the colors, porcelain skin, homicidal tendencies = soulmate.
>> sob << I'm sorry, I need a moment..."
"If she doesn't sign up with the organization, Batwoman-of-a-certain-age might find a few pics posted on Twitter... Call me!"
"Not to join, I just hope he shows so I can 'him' him! Green and YELLOW: kill a fellow; Purple, Green, and Black: friend of Jack..."
"She'll turn! Who could work with Mr. Happy Bat?! Besides, I got a vibe, think she's got a crush on me..."
"Seriously, how HAVEN'T we hooked up?! Right place at the wrong time, rinse and repeat... Liked her better when she filled out that purple uni, but ever since she started rooming with my girl - and Miss Vegetable Liberation Front - I, uh... back in a few..."
"Invert the colors, decram the stick from his (smart) ass, LIGHTEN THE 'F' UP... and we might have something! The Jack to my Joker..."
"Looking at his bandaged mug reminds me of the night I became Joker... And if that weren't a good enough reason to keep Mister Whisper off my team, he'd c-block me hard with recruiting Catwoman."
"For real?! Too f*ing crazy!! What'd he do, drink his liver into a coma or self tan from a can? I'm sorry I didn't off the yellow b-----d the last time I caught the yellow-bellied f%#$'s 'I'm the new Joker' routine!"
"Another yellow b-----d?! Eh, could work, I like his style..."
"Britney Bat! Why doesn't The Man bust Batfan for his underage workforce? That goofy grin reminds me of, well, my mirror... Too spirited to be a gloombat like Mr. B. She'll come around to Team Joker: higher wages, hotter boss; if that doesn't open her heart to me, there's always the crowbar I used on Boy Wonder..."
"Like the colors, Gollum! And can you ever keep to a theme! - even if it is creepily Battish: freakin' batarangs, hell you even ride a Batglider! Now there's a toy old Bats hasn't got. Are you another failed Robin, took a bad chemical bath? Hnnh... turn that garish chapeau into a jester's cap, paint over those pumpkin grenades with tragedy/comedy masks, trick that fugly glider into a playing card - of yours truly - and you could be the tragedy to my comedy! But don't ever change the laugh; some things, you can't teach! (no matter how hard you pound them into the boy...)
