matkrenz's Jonah Hex review

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People might hate me for this.

This is the feature film of DC's western hero Jonah Hex with Megan Fox as a stripper. 
The Story: Quentin Turnbull stole components for a machine and the power source that are Dragon Balls to attack the capital of the United States on the 4th of July and the gouverment hires Jonah Hex to stop him. 
The Good: I realize that is movie is despised by many,many people that saw it but to me it is a guilty pleasure because I found so many things that I enjoyed.Josh Brolin does a very good as Jonah Hex am im pretty sure if the script was better he would have been way better since Hex in the comics he is an old badass guy like Clint Eastwood or Red,wich is ironic since Malkovich was in both of these movies.The other actor that captures the screen for me is Burke played by Michael Fassbender,each time he was on screen he was oozing energy and always jumping around and laughing.The music is also a part I loved since it is done by the band Mastodon wich I am a fan of (I own their wallet wich I have been using since last Christmas) ,I will admit that at times it didn't fit but I was rocking out to it so I didn't care.Malkovich was okay though he could have been better. 
The Bad: Jonah Hex does not have @#$%&*! superpowers.The reason for him getting superpowers is @#$%&*! stupid and is only there to advance the plot since they couldn't find a way to advance it a different way wich is just lazy writing.Also Megan Fox is a freaking robot and can't act to save her life and she is completely useless and she sometimes overshadows Hex in some of the fight scenes.Speaking of the fights they were boring and predictable.Also sometimes when Hex is about to die he goes into this field were he is fighting against death I think it's symbolic but they fail at that point.Also when Hex meets with his black blacksmith (don't hate me for what I wrote it matters to what I have to say) he calls Hex his "brother or boy",I admit that I am white and don't know much about hip-hop termanology but I understand that it was originally used in 'Nam to refer to the black soldier's but then the meaning became of refering to a close friend but the problem is that it's the OLD WEST at least 100 years before that word was used like that.Also I laughed when the power source for the cannon were basically the Dragon Balls.I would just love to see a parody video with that premise.Also the make-up for the scar on Jonah's face just looked pathetic,couldn't they get 1 make-up artist from the Walking Dead to do it,since it does have a hole on the left side of his face,sure it wouldn't look anything like Aaron Eckhart in the Dark Knight but at least it would have looked better.Also the one liner of Hex saying he cut himself shaving didn't phase me but it did annoy me in Return of Bruce Wayne #4  that Morrison decided to use it but I guess it was apart of his sense of humour.  
The Verdict: This movie is not for everybody and this is my opinion of it and I completely understand that the majority hates it but I did find things enjoyable in it and for those that didn't see it I say get a couple of friends,rent it and riff it so you could have a good time.This is not a buy but it is a rental.

Other reviews for Jonah Hex

    Jonah Hex 0

     By The Angry Comic Book Critic Jonah Hex the movie……FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!!!!!!! Thank you once again Hollywood you’ve destroyed another classic hero! No it wasn’t enough you had to do it to Batman, Superman, Steel, Howard the Duck, The Hulk, The Phantom even Spiderman got raped by you shit heads and your poor story telling, bad casting and above all else greed!...Okay I’m calm now I just needed to say that. I mean my god I saw this movie for free and got a t-shirt, cup, poster, Jonah Hex #1 of the...

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    Ugly Character, Ugly Film 0

    Jonah Hex may be an excellent example of how to make a flop of a movie. It was simply that bad. I’m only passingly familiar with the character but I do know that he is not supposed to be able to raise the dead even though they got most of the rest right. I thought that bit just simply didn’t make that much sense and was a vain attempt to throw in a supernatural element to the film. Why? I don’t know and apparently neither did the filmmakers.The storyline is barely comprehensibl...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

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