Joe Pineapples

    Character » Joe Pineapples appears in 257 issues.

    One of the core members of the ABC Warriors, Joe Pineapples is the greatest shot in the entire galaxy. For a while, he had a preference for donning female clothing.

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    Joe Pineapples appears in the 2000ad story - ABC Warriors.

    Built as an assassin and sniper during the Volg Wars in the 21st century, Joe Pineapples was originally a high ranking member of the X-Terminators, before being booted out for acting like a human and seducing human women (especially the wife of a superior officer).

    He was then recruited into the ABC Warriors, to be teamed up alongside leader Hammmerstein, bar brawler Happy Shrapnel, mystical Deadlock, bestial Mongrol, traitorous Blackblood and the liquified Mess. The newly formed team was then sent to assist colonists on Mars, during which time they fight and encounter the intelligent Cyboons, Golgotha the son of Satanus and George the 5 brained robot (in which The Mess stayed with to act as his "central nervous system").

    After several centuries, the team is re-united again to travel through the Time Wastes of Termight to reset the black hole after Nemesis the Warlock's son Thoth destabilizes it in an attempt to punish humans for the death of his mother. After losing new recruit Hitaki to the Monad (an evil being inadvertently created by dictator Torquemada), the kill-dozer Mek-Quake is recruited into the group and the team heads deep into the Time Wastes to fix the damage while Nemesis dealt with finding his son on the outside.

    In the Time Wastes, Joe and the others encounter friend and foe as they traverse the beltways until they reach the control room. There, while Deadlock resets the machine, the expert assassin goes in a kills a rogue commander, allowing the team to deal with the enemy squadron at hand. After battling and defeating the marauding evil of the Monad, Joe and the ABC Warriors take over former Emporer Zalinn's star ship and escape the empire of Terra, now on the galaxy's most wanted list.

    Deadlock, now the leader of the ABC Warriors as Hammerstein was grieving the loss of his new girlfriend Terri, became infected with Khaos and started malfunctioning. It took an expert hand and unnecessary brain surgery by none other than Deadlock to repair the damage caused by years of repressed transvestite urges. With the damage repaired, Joe dressed up like Ginger Rogers ( complete with frilly coat and tights) and continued to aid in the spread of Khaos in the Terran empire. After completing the spread of Khaos, Joe and the team split up to go their separate ways.

    10 years later, Joe Pineapples was now a contracted assassin and sniper for Terra, earning a huge salary, respect and a woman on every planet. When Hammerstein and Blackblood went to him to rejoin in the group, Joe was initially resistant, until convinced that, if not him, a second rate assassin robot would take his place. Jealous and with his ego flaring, Joe jumped at the chance to prove his worth.

    After aiding his team in the destruction of the Terran war ship Hellbringer (who was trying to stop the spread of Khaos that was initiated a decade earlier by the ABC Warriors) and prevention of evil demon creatures from infecting the universe with their evil, the team heads back to Mars to aid in a Civil War brewing between the Confederates and the Union.

    While at Mars, Joe encounters a new enemy in the form of Dog-Tag the leader of the dogs of Gore, confederate robot defectors who raid people on trans-Martian freeway systems. Killing Dog-Tag's crew as they try to escape, he earned the hatred of the leader and would encounter him again when Dog-Tag joined the Shadow Warriors, an elite team created to wipe out and systematically destroy the ABC Warriors for bounty. Through discussions between the enemy warriors and the President of the Marinaris Red House, it turns out Joe had a previous relationship with the president's wife, leading to animosity for the Casanova robot.

    In an act of revenge, Dog-Tag shoots Joe through the head and steals his trigger finger as a trophy. Unlucky for him, Joe had perfected the art of suspended animation, where he would keep his brain activity low to prevent from being killed by the bullet. Awaking up after a period of time, Joe steals the Shadow Warriors' ammunition and proceeds to execute Dog-Tag, stealing back his finger in the process.

    Recently Joe Pineapples has been a part of the Volgan War, where he reconciles with his past girlfriend Juanita and deciding the two should remain as mutual friends. He also aided in the stopping of ex-Volgan supreme commander Volkhan as he attempted to get revenge over losing his army and the Volgan Wars back on Earth in the 21st Century. All this happened alongside the betrayal of Blackblood and Mek-quake to the ABC Warriors as they joined Volkhan and his minions in fighting against the Mek-nificent 7.


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