THEY RAPED INDY!!!!
By The Angry Comic Book Critic
Why? Why would they do this why god why? Indiana Jones is one of the most classic characters of all time and in this...is just an abomination. Is it the worst film I've ever seen by all means no but compared to the rest of the series this is crap to me for three big reasons which I will get to in a moment but for right now I'm just going to go through the good things in this film. Harrison Ford god even in a sea of stupidity he is still awesome and even in his old age still kicks ass as Indiana Jones thank god he worked as hard as he did or this film would have been pure crap. Karen Allen good to have you back she was the original Jone's girl and by far the best she wasn't a spy and wasn't a whiny little bitch like Willie in Temple of Doom and she like Ford gave it her all and pumped in some more good to add to this otherwise crap film. Also I'd be lying if I said the special effects weren't great but it takes a lot more then Effects Ford and Allen to make a good Indy Film. Well no sense putting it off any longer time to take a look at the shit that made this film not as good as it should have been.
Number 3. Indiana Jones Surviving A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION BY HIDING IN A REFRIGERATOR. Okay being a comic fan I've been able to buy into some pretty improbable shit happening to characters like being dipped in acid and coming out a clown and you know not dying I can buy a guy from another planet being given god like powers because of the sun but this no fucking way Nobody who is an average human can survive a nuclear bomb by hiding in a refrigerator it just isn't possible do you want to know why because if your not instantly disintegrated by slamming into the ground at that speed would shatter ever Bone in your body. Number 2 Shia la beuf now this has one of the worst track records as an actor ever so far there have only been two movies that I've seen that I've liked him in and those where Wall street Money Never Sleeps and disturbia the rest of his films either sucked ass or he was tolerable. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't respect him because he actually has the balls to own up to his mistakes cause he even said that he fucked up with this movie. Now as indiana jone's son he was a shame to his legacy cause he was a prick and dumbass and annoyed me with every word he spoke. Okay now it's time for the big numero UNO and the biggest reason as to why this is not as good as it could have been. ALIENS WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE ALIENS IN AN INDIANA JONES MOVIE?!?!?! Indiana Jones since day one has always dealt with religious based myths like The Holy Grail, The Ark of the Covenant and some magic rock things from temple of doom are they seriously suggesting there are no other myths left in all the religious in world that cold hold up in an Indy film what about the Golden fleece or the Spear of Destiny or some ancient tomb thing they could just pull out of their ass? All in all these three things just ruined the film for me it wasn't the most god awful film I've ever seen but it could have been a lot better than what it was.
I'm the Angry Comic Book Critic and this gets the Stamp of Approval.
Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull