What about the BLACK Skins, Mister Green Lantern?!
This is it, folks. This is THE most preachy run of comics I've EVER freakin' seen! Almost as bad as "Superman: Grounded"! ALMOST! And the worst part is...this is a Green Lantern comic. I pretty much grew UP on Green Lantern.
And yet, unfortunately, Green Lantern's given me some of the most pretentious, preachy, head-up-its-ass, morality-play, talking-down-to-you storylines I have ever, EVER seen. And right outta the starting gate is a story run done by the the comic creating dynamic duo of Dennis O'Neil and Neal Adams. The story comes from the 70's, during the "Silver Age" of comics, when Hal Jordan was the Green Lantern. It begins with GL saving a fat, tubby guy from being publically beaten to death by some kids in the street. Ollie Queen chews Hal out for saving the guy because he's a slum lord who's put jack s--t into fixing up the slum and has been just taking the inhabitants money and using it to buy himself nice things. So people are pissed. When GL tries to insist that this doesn't mean they were in the right to beat him up and that "he's got a job to do", Green Arrow invokes Godwin's Law and brings in the Nazis. Dude, are you serious? How did you honestly expect Green Lantern to know the guy was a sleazebag evicting jackass? NOBODY would have known that unless they were actually living in the building! Don't blame Green Lantern for just trying to keep someone from getting beaten to death!
Then a black man asks why Green Lantern never bothered with "the black skins".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?
I am...I CANNOT believe that...I mean...
I'm gonna quote the epic comic book writer Grant Morrison here to express my views. "In any real world where the laws of physics and some interstellar impartial judiciary permitted his existence, Green Lantern's response would have been ALL our responses to the same accusation. "I'VE BEEN SAVING THE ENTIRE EARTH AND EVERY LIVING THING ON IT REGARDLESS OF RACE, COLOR, POLITICAL AFFILIATION OR SPECIES SINCE GREEN LANTERN ISSUE NUMBER 1"." But no. Green Lantern just hangs his head like he should be SO ashamed. Believability got sacrificed to hammer home this preachy little bullshit of a point.
Oh. And in case you're thinkin' "Now hold on, Nick! We're looking back on this and laughing from our more modern era! Of course it comes off as preachy NOW, but back then, it was a different story!"
That idea is charming. But wrong. This is why I am a believer in universal ideas of right and wrong: there are ALWAYS people, no matter WHAT time period, that have the right idea on what is good and what is bad. And here's a letter from the last issue of the O'Neil/Adams run. The first was number 76. This is from number 89. A little over a YEAR later. In the 70'S. This was someone's response. I've circled it so you can't miss it.
Ya see? Even people BACK THEN were calling "bullshit" on this! So if anybody wants to go on about how "People back then didn't know better", here's an example of how "people back then DID". You people know who you are.
Let us move on. Green Arrow gets a clever little idea as Hal wangsts and wangsts like the "White Guilt" machine that stems from Hollywood and the Comic Book industry enjoys seeing.No, he's not gonna kill him. Close. Ollie tries to trick him into showing up and incriminating himself whilst he records the experience. The problem is that the tape he uses to record all this gets destroyed. And when Hal tries to appeal to the man directly? He laughs at him for being a "bleeding heart".
But wait! HAL now has a clever idea.
Green Lantern and Green Arrow create a "Sting" operation to trick the guy into admitting he wanted Green Lantern killed by his cronies. AND they got a federal agent snuck into the building along with them to get a public confession of what he's done. Stick a fork in him, the slum lord is done. But Green Arrow's not done preaching yet.
Oh GOD, its like "Superman: Grounded" all over again! Is there good art? Yes! But like I said earlier, this story is preachy, pretentious and freakin' insulting!
God darn it, O'Neil! God darn it, Adams! If you can't come up with a less in-your-face-insultingly bad story arc later on, I'm NEVER buying ANYTHING you've ever written EVER again!
Oh, but guess what?
I'VE READ AHEAD.
This isn't even as bad as it GETS with the pretentious garbage! Oh no!
I'm just gettin' STARTED.