Character » Fuckwit appears in 12 issues.

    Fuckwit is the mentally dense bodyguard of the Professor (Solomon Seltzer), and a parody of DC's Bizarro.

    Short summary describing this character.

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    Fuckwit was the result of a failed genetic experiment by The Professor. Originally Fuckwit was meant to act as an absolute equal to the world's greatest superhero at the time, but due to some kind of mishap, instead he became the physical equivalent of Superman but the mental equivalent of an infant. He's often referred to by other villains as having downs syndrome. The Professor still finds good use for Fuckwit in the henchmen's various superpowers, unwavering loyalty and willingness to follow any order. The order, however, must be given in the negative for Fuckwit to understand it. The Professor states at one point that "damn backwards talk is driving me crazy".

    Major Story Arcs

    For the majority of his time in the series Fuckwit acted as a guard in the headquarters of the American family of the Fraternity, and was sometimes seen out serving as personal bodyguard and chauffeur to the Professor. When Mister Rictus implements his plan to resurface The Fraternity and name himself and Mr. Future the criminal overlords of the world, Fuckwit is drained of his superhuman abilities by Sucker and beaten to death with a crowbar by Johnny Two Dicks (who shows a lot of remorse for his actions, as it was his genitalia making him do it).

    Powers and Abilities

    As he is a clone of a Superman parody, he is essentially a parody of Bizarro. Therefore, it can be inferred that he has all of Superman's powers. He only demonstrates super-strength, but when Sucker steals his powers, he shows the ability to "smell the sweat" of several people from a considerable distance away, flight, and some sort of telekinetic ability when he bends the barrel of Wesley's rifle from a distance. He is, however, not invulnerable, as Wesley thought that a "nuclear bullet" could hurt him.


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