Where is my car!!!!!

In this RPG you can participate if you have had problems with car service workers. there is a valley full of the f*ers and they are stuck there for you to kill. Enjoy.

LMAO. First we start with people who say there's nothing wrong with alarms they installed

"Umm, can I leave I work on alarms, but they never seem to be something I can fix. I blame the owners." Says a fat greasy man as he looks to the others alarm workers for support.

thunks a large baseball bat on the counter How about I send my boss to talk to you about it? I work for Louisville Slugger.

Hagane Enna says:

"*thunks a large baseball bat on the counter* How about I send my boss to talk to you about it? I work for Louisville Slugger."

Bertron floats down to watch the mayhem.

"Sorry mama, appointments only." The greasy man stutters.

"Mama?' she asked incredulously. "If I ws your mother, I'd've shot myself long ago. " She slammed the bat down onthe counter again. "I have an appointment. Look under L. Slugger."

"Ma' am. If you were on the appointment books I would have your phone number already. By the way Ma' am can I get your number, I know this really great donut spot that has some mean Krispy Kremes." The fat greasy guy gae a smile that was a few teeth short of a full set and he wiped so black grease off onto his pants.

She blinked for a moment then grinned slowly. "You must not be able to see my name because the light is so dim in here," she said sweetly as she began rummaging through her purse. "I have just the thing to help you out." She pulled out a lighter emblazoned with a Ford logo. "Seems approprite eh?"

She flicked on th flame and set fire to the appointment book. "can you see better yet?"

"what is wrong with you?" The grease slopper shouted. "Now you'll have to take me to dinner and a movie, jeez. Dames are all the same. Crazy."

The room of Alarm installers burst into laughter.

A faint green light faded as Bertron landed next ti Enna.

"Is there a problem here?" Bertrin grinned as he looked at his friend.

"Not until you interupted me and Miss. Cutey here." The mechanic sputtered at the interloper.

"Ah ha! Finally, somebody sensible," she declared, grinning back at Bertron. "explain to jackass here that alarms taht go off for no reason cause more than annoyance. They cause severe physical harm when they malfunction."
Post Edited:2007-06-11 18:50:18

"How's that?" The beefy man asked shortly before Bertron's fist smashed into his nose and mouth.

"If the alarm worked you would have known that was coming schmuck." Bertron grinned as the mechanics started to stand.

"Ohh, there's a lot of them to beat up, where to start? Enna, pick one and I'll give him a wedgie so bad he'll be able to taste his underwear."

Enna hopped over the counter and stomped over to some guy who looked as though he'd bathed in cologne that morning. She jabbed him right in the chest. "This one! He used to be a salesman and he's the one who insisted on showing me lighted mirrors. Who the hell cares if there's a lit mirror when you drive?!"

Bertron grinned and sprung over the counter. the weasly man tried to run, but it was no use. Bertron caught him in a few strides and knocked him on his face.

"Smile for the camera, douchebag!" Bertron pulled at the man's underwear until he could wrap ot over the back of the guy's head and tuck it under his chin.

"Ahhh, Mhmmmmm" the man's screams were muffled and pained.

"Alrighty, anyone else you wish to see tortured? I can make one of them sing like a ten year old girl saprano if you want."

now let talk bout other assholes

Lord Bertron says:

"Bertron grinned and sprung over the counter. the weasly man tried to run, but it was no use. Bertron caught him in a few strides and knocked him on his face."Smile for the camera, douchebag!" Bertron pulled at the man's underwear until he could wrap ot over the back of the guy's head and tuck it under his chin."Ahhh, Mhmmmmm" the man's screams were muffled and pained."Alrighty, anyone else you wish to see tortured? I can make one of them sing like a ten year old girl saprano if you want.""

"Well, sure," Enna said brightly as she tucked a handover Bertron's arm. "There's this appliance salesman..."

Bertron grinned and looked over at Enna.

"Lead the way. I'm there for you." Bertron made a green carpet that would go where ever and to who ever Enna wanted.

She peered over the edge and cackled madly. "Hey, there's my mailman. taht guy keeps getting my mail wet and giving me stuff that isn't mine."

"Excuse me." Bertron pats Enna's hand and walks away, grabbing the mailman by the collar of the shirt and drags him away.

The sounds of struggle fills the air as Bertron shoves a hand full of mail down the man's throat and stuffs the rest where ever there is room for it.

Bertron strolls back up and holds his arm out for Enna.

"Shall we continue?" Bertron grins.

"Definitely," she said with a righteous nod. "Bad service is a pain in the monkey butt. It's you and me against the world. When do we attack?"

"Whenever Igor gets his gun ready." Bertron looked about. "Kidding, give the signal, and I will unleash hell for you."

Bertron made an army of angry green monkeys with various firearms and pitchforks.

"You called, Bertron?'

Alright Enna, I think we are ready, are you?" Bertron hands Igor some shades.

"Gotta love that GPS guidance system on the fying carpet," Enna giggleed. "It has aiming software."

"You know it." Bertron grined. "So where to now?"

Bertron made the carpet split into three paths.

"More revenge. Clark's, or whereever your heart desires?"

As Bertron spoke signs popped up with names for each path.

She closed her eyes and pointed randomly. "That way."

Nny has just wandered in.

"Hey, a bunch of annoying idiots! What fun!"

Yeah, man! Kill them all!

And then kill yourself.

Shut UP, D-Boy. There's mayhem to be had!

Nny grins and takes out a pair of short swords.

"Heeey-I know you! You sold me my car! And it's a piece of junk!!! I'm gonna kill you now."

And he does so.

Then he kills eight or nine others for good measure.

The signs go blank as the extra paths slowly dosappear. The remaining sign changes to a bigger sign.

Bertron grins and looks at Enna.

"Looks like your hearts desire is where we go. Lead on."

Enna wrapped her hand around his arm again. "Lead on, Betron. There's good stuff to find and rude people to beat sneseless."

"I like the way you think." Bertron smiled to Enna. "Let's go find a bunch of Metroid fan boys and non- monkey lovers. They could use a beating."

The carpet continued to unfurl infront of them.

Nny overhears. "Stuff? What stuff? Cuz I could really use a new chain saw. You'd be surprised how tough bones are . . . and I'd like a chain whip, a mute's bridal, a Spanish tickler, an iron spider, an earchopper helmet, a tongue trap . . . I made myself a pear of anguish one time, you know. That was fun . . . so if you find any stuff like that, could I have one?"

Whatever is left of Nny's sanity shakes its head and sighs.

Enna tapped Bertron onthe shoulder then pointed at the perv. "The GPS aiming system still work?"

"Not sure." Bertron tapped on his ring, which promptly makes a hand extending it's middle finger at him. "I think I broke it."

"Forget it," she said with a seemingky innocent smile. "Just run him over and keep going. We can let the monkeys at the nearest zoo loose and then let them gang up on the metroid zilla fans."

"God I love when a plan comes together." Bertron changed the carpet into a monster truck named "King Kong."

The two speed off down the street to enjoy their mayhem.

"Ever been to the Cincinatti Zoo? They have a bunch of monkeys there."

"Lead on because I've never been," she told him. "most simians like me though. Maybe they sense Igor and Luna."

"That could be it." Bertron laughed as he slammed the gear shift to high.

The Truck roared off into the sunset in search of more monkeys to free and people to punish for their glaring stupidity.

Nny twitches. "The next person who ignores or annoys me is SO gonna get it. And then everyone else here, for good measure."

And he throws a knife into the truck's tire.

Nny notices a mechanic wandering around in circles.

"Could you look at my car? It's starting to fall apart, frankly."

"Sure. That'll be $5600 for the look and $11970 for failing to fix it, cuz it's obviously unfixable."

Nny groans. "How about you fix it as best you can and I don't cut your head off?"

"B-b-but it can't be fixed! It's dead!"

Don't worry-so are you!" And he stabs the guy.

Zaraki Ichigo walks into the Valley and opens a portal to allow Enna back into the victim's area. GL isn't here, but he is.

Enna glares openly at the very nice pearl blue metallic car. "Somebody's going to pay for wasting my time, damn it," she grumbled. "Freaking noise is annoying."

"So is that the car you want me to destroy, or do you want the honors here?"

Zaraki reaches into the portal and oulls out a sledge hammer.

She eyes the car with a grin but shakes her head. "It's such a nice car. t makes faces at those silly 55mph signs," she explained. "No, what we need to do is pulverize whoever messed it up to begin with."

"Shall we then?" Zaraki offered his arm to Enna and faced towards teh section of Alarm Installers. "Point him out and I'll do all the dirty work."

Enna took Zaraki's arm and, with her other hand, pointed toward the bck of the shop. "That guy," she said, indicating a weasely looking guy who probably hadn;t showered in years.

Zaraki's mask smiled as his hand reached up and removed it. He held the mask out for Enna.

"Hold this I don't want to get any lice or anything this guy has on or in it." Zaraki walked towards the man. "Escuse me sir?"

"Ehh?" The man looked up in time to see the sledge in Zaraki's hand swing out and smash into his left arm. "Ahhhhh!"

Zaraki grabs the man and heads behind a car. For about a minute the man can be heard screaming and pleading before he is duct taped to the wall upside down.

"Think he understood what I was saying there?" Zaraki asks as he walks towards Enna.

"Got a ladder?" she asked, grinning maniacally at Zaraki. "I have this idea that if I hook an alarm to go off every time he blinks, then he'll never blink. No blinkingthen maybe he can keep his damned eyes open and see what the hell he did wrong."

Zaraki smiles and sets the hammer on the ground. He walks back to the portal and reaches in, digging around until he finds what he wants. Out comes a ladder and a handful of electronics and tools.

"Why thank you!" Enna said sweetly.

She set the ladder up near the duct taped man and commenced to installing the alarm. Though she did hop off the ladder to attach the alarm sensors to the the poor SOB's eyelids. She patted him on the forehead and grinned the grin of a happy shark.

"I do hope I did this right. You be sure andlet me know," she told him. With that, the man blinked and the alarm blared.

Enna wiped her hnds together andbounced back to Zaraki. "Are there more people who need beating?"

"You tell me. I'm good, but you know there is also Obnoxious Co- Workers Valley, and it is close by too." Zaraki grinned as the man flinched as they walked by, causing him to blink.

'Hannnnnnnnnn! Whirrrrrr! Hannnnnn!'

The alarm was like music to Zaraki's ears.

"Yea though we walk to the Valley of the Shadow of Obnoxious Coworkers..." Enna began. "Oh by all means, let's go." Though she coouldn't resist makinga s if to kicj the duct taoed guy,which made him blink again.