Running Announcement: Donald Daehler for President

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#1 Posted by TheDrifter (24811 posts) - - Show Bio
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Televisions across the nations glowed, Six PM had rolled around once more, and it was time for the news worldwide. The biggest topic on the people’s mind? A looming election, supposedly the president had disappeared, and a state of emergency was declared....Leaving many ill suited slick politicians to try their hand at an election....It was the talk of the town....until now...

The news interrupted, a global hack, standing at the fore front of this intelligence breach was a man in a black fedora, mask and cape. In his hands, he held a stack of papers...

“Dear Disturbed Denizens of this earth, I do implore you will spend but five minutes of your time with me, however you don’t really have a choice do you?” He held up five fingers and then continued,

His muffled distorted voice commanded the room...well, whatever room he was in...

“People die daily from the damage of a dark government. Dead men’s tales fall on deaf ears as we try to pick up the pieces of this damn dredgery! No more!” The man removes his mask and sets it on the desk infront of him.

“I am Donald Daehler and I am announcing my candidacy for president.”

His face was pale, messy blond locks swept underneath his black hat, piercing blue eyes stared into the camera.

“For years, I have been a government agent performing particularly unsavory despicable things for what? The pursuit of data? I will stand by no longer. I will not sit idle as men die, as people go hungry, just so I can know what you’re listening too on the radio on your phone. This government needs a real man to fix it. I can offer that.. These papers in my hand are the names of those who must be stopped for a real society to thrive...Their names, cell phone numbers, and addresses have been published on “BOOKOFDRIFTER.COM” alongside their accomplices.”

“I leave you with but one thought to the infantile masses, please understand it is not my intention to scare you but rather to inspire you, to show you, that someone still cares about you....That someone is your superhero.”

The tape ended with the man putting the mask back on and walking off set.

As news stations everywhere recovered, #BOOKOFDRIFTER was trending within 4 seconds of the initial broadcast, there were already websites dedicated to analyzing Donald Daehler’s rant (if that was his name), and within one hour, the first name on the list Jebediah Trust, a prominent politician and known pedophile, had shown up dead and buried in a dumpster full of baby dolls.

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#2 Posted by Orion_Savage (714 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump, so people can see this.

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#3 Posted by AdmiralLogic (4131 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, ok then.

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#4 Posted by Darkchild (43005 posts) - - Show Bio

Hahaha that's my boy Drifter

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#5 Posted by Lichter (5808 posts) - - Show Bio

@thedrifter: So, uh, the CIA will have to come by to take genetic samples of anyone running.

Also, they might help the FBI investigate you for killing that guy :1