Just Lion Around

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Edited By Fitzwilly

It had all started as a mistake. During one of his endless travels through time, Fitzwilly found himself on a planet similar to Earth, back in the Roman Gladiators days. To be more specific it was a giant asteroid, hollowed out with endless tunnels inside much like that of an ant colony. Built with an advanced technology, the tunnels underneath ranged from lavish living quarters to the small dank holding cell where he was trapped. For the last four hours he held, in a five by five cell surrounded by steel walls and an electrified force field that passed as a door. He was now, by the crime of trespassing, held as a slave soon to face a lion in the arena for his one and only chance for freedom. Suddenly a marching sound echoed as six royal guards armed with energy blasting spears, made their way to the cell chanting a war cry native to their home. With a wave of a hand, the force field shut down and the guards stepped inside and after securing Fitzwilly’s hands behind his back with a space aged hand cuff, one of them remarked, “Time for you to fight with honor slave,” after which he abruptly shoved Fitzwilly out of his cell and into the endless corridors. Then as they continued the path to the surface where the arena resided, Fitzwilly was escorted through layer after layer of force fields, until finally reaching the last. With one last shove, Fitzwillly was tossed through one over sized door, ending up on hard sand, standing in the middle of an arena, surrounded by thousands of cheering spectators, and at the far end, the lord and emperor of the land, their Caesar!

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Immediately the crowd roars in anticipation, standing on their feet as they applaud. For one full minute this goes on, growing louder with every second, leaving Fitzwilly to smile and think, “All of this for me, I’m honored.” Finally the Caesar raises his hand and the crowd goes silent, then after a cough to clear his throat he speaks. “People of Romiana, I give you our newest gladiator, for your entertainment!” He then sits down while fluffing out the wrinkles in his robe, “So tell us brave traveler, what, is….” he pauses for dramatic effect, “...your name?” Looking back up to him, Fitzwilly remains silent for only a second, just long enough to show his disobedience, then finally answers back, “Oh were you talking to me?” Once again the crowd goes wild, for never before had they seen a slave speak to their emperor like that, and were it not for him speaking up again the crowd would have continued on. Still acting without a care in the world Fitzwilly continues, “Oh if you must know, my name is Fitzwilly, that’s Fitzwilly with two L’s, and if you don’t mind I’d like to leave before someone gets hurt!” Immediately, the Caesar slams his scepter down, outraged over the disrespect and even crosses his arms in disgust as he sits back down in his golden throne. “Well Fitzwilly....” he says with spite in his voice “Fitzwillly with two L’s! I hope you die well today!

With a huge gasp the crowd goes silent, filled with endless anticipation on what would transpire next. Each and every one of them was expecting a blood bath. For as long as they could remember, ‘no slave had ever beaten the lion,’ and to them, Fitzwilly was no exception. Standing up again, the Caesar waves his scepter over his head and with the greatest of pride, yells to his guards, “RELEASE THE LION!” Immediately, an energy wall used as a gate opens up on the far side of the arena, as they gasp again, but to the shock of everyone there…nothing happened. Instead Fitzwilly smirks as only he can, only to reengage the Caesar in conversation. “I tried to be nice, and even asked you to let me go before someone gets hurt, but you didn’t listen.” Instead, to the surprise of everyone, he raises his arms in-front of him, showing he has escaped his cuffs, then waves one finger at the Caesar in a ‘Shame on you motion!’ But before the Caesar could respond, Fitzwilly raises his left arm up high, then taps on the watch around his wrist, “You see, with this little devise here, I can hack into your security systems, and do just whatever it is I want to do!” He then chuckles for the fun of it, “and while you have been talking, well I’ve been busy.” Pausing only to build up the suspense he finally finishes with, “So what I have done is rerouted the paths it takes for the lion to reach the arena, so that the lion would now arrive at the doorway, right...behind...you!

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Suddenly a loud roar echoed behind the Caesar and before you know it, he was being mauled into pieces by a hungry lion. Immediately, screams of horror were joined with screams of freedom as the people of the planet watched as their cruel vindictive leader died, in the same manner that was to befall the slaves. But even as the crowd coward in the moment, Fitzwilly took it upon himself to give aide and in a demeanor tone he addresses them. “People of Romiana, I offer you a new chance at hope and freedom. Your Caesar..” he peaks back up to their leaders thrown, only to see a wave of crimson blood being sprayed everywhere, “…..I’m pretty sure is dead now, giving you a new chance to better yourself. Give up your barbaric ways and inspire to a new height of science and philosophy.” He then scratches the back of his head as he forgets where he was going with his speech, “….or do whatever the Hell you want. Just know If you continue to treat people like slaves I Will Be Back! And I Will Not Be Happy!!!” With that said, he reaches into his breast pocket only to pull out his trusty ‘Locator’ otherwise known as his means to travel and with a flick of his wrist energizes it. Suddenly a dancing light flickers around him, as his physical form slowly begins to disappear. Within seconds he is gone, leaving nothing behind but two size ten foot prints in the sand and the whispers of his voice saying, “Oh, and sorry about the Cesar’s thrown room, send me the cleaning bill!