Imagine this: You're sitting at your computer one day, minding your own business, when all of the sudden you think to yourself, "Hm... I wonder what was the first issue Lois Lane was in." So you go to the only website that'll have the correct answer: Comic Vine.
You log in, you type in "Lois Lane" on the search bar, and bingo. Information acquired: Lois Lane's first appearance was in Action Comics #1. Mission accomplished, and now I can get up and actually do something with my life.
But wait, what do I see?
Is that a square at the bottom of the screen? What does it say?
"Superman's Flings: 1 of 5 complete"
1 of 5? Who the hell else, besides Lois Lane, has Superman ever had a fling with? Now I'm curious. I must find the remaining women that have evidently been a part of Superman's life. But whom? So I go with the obvious choice: Wonder Woman. Bingo; another square pops up, "Superman's Flings: 2 out of 5."
Hold on a second, who could the other's possibly be?
I enter my files in my brain. Ah, a Lana Lane seems to come up in my mind. I type it in. WHAT?!?! There is NO Lana Lanes?!!?!? Then who could this be?
Now, I'm no Superman fan, so I have to do my research. I go to the only suitable place to ask this preposterous question; Google.
I type in the obvious, "Superman's love interests."
I find a list of girls; Alice Eve, Rosamund Pike, and Diane Kruger. Ah.... These must be the love interests I'm looking for. AND OF COURSE! There's only three of them. The three I'm looking for? I type in the first name. No Alice Eve's either?!!?! What about the other two?
None.
Zero pages of any of them.
Then I actually click on the link. They were ACTRESSES rumored to play Lois Lane in the anticipated film, The Man of Steel.
SON OF A BITCH!!!
I see another link, "Who are some of Superman's Love interests?"
YES! Somebody else that has the same difficulties that I am having. I go to his question and find this as an answer; "Lois Lane is Superman's love interest as an adult, and Lana Lang was Superman's love interest when he lived in Smallville."
WHAT?!?!?! I SPELLED LANA LANG'S NAME WRONG BY ONE FREAKING LETTER?!?!?!?!
BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!
Okay.... So I type her name in again. BAM! "Superman Flings: 3 out of 5."
If it took me this long to find the easy three, then how the hell am I going to find the other two?!!?
So I go to the only reasonable place next, the forums.
And there, I find my Lyla, and my Lori Lemaris. (Man, Superman liked girls that began with the letter "L")
But this did not satisfy me, it was only one of four other Quests in this Quest Set.
DAMN YOU COMIC VINE!!!
You turned searching up "Lois Lane", which only should have been 2 minutes at the most, to finding all of these other Quests, which took 2 HOURS!
*Taking deep breaths* Hew....
Now.... *Taking more deep breaths* with this spiel done... *more breaths* ..... *one more breath* I.... I just got the "Vanity Smurf" Quest set done.
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