Would you wait until marriage to smash?

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Shafamalam

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Poll Would you wait until marriage to smash? (29 votes)

Yes 62%
Nah 38%

So lets say you're with this girl.

She says to you that she doesnt wanna sleep with you until after marriage (you guys are gonna get married in 5 years time, no changing this date).

Shes completely your type and you find her mad attractive. She ticks majority of the boxes (is nice, caring etc.) and you vibe well but you cant bang her till after marriage in 5 yrs time (no mouth stuff either, only kissing/cuddling allowed).

Would you wait?

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Zafros13

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I’ll wait. Not being able to cuddle would definitely be a deal breaker though.

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Straight-Fire

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Nah

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kataraaaa

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Fuck it, if she's perfect I'll do it

the perfect girl doesn't exist though

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Shafamalam

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Fuck it, if she's perfect I'll do it

the perfect girl doesn't exist though

Very true on the perfect girl doesnt exist.

But imagine this, you're having a make out sesh kissing and you're rock hard... and you have to tug yourself off for 5 years even tho you have a girl right next to you...

Waiting is defo more simpy choice

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kataraaaa

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@shafamalam said:

@kataraaaa said:

Fuck it, if she's perfect I'll do it

the perfect girl doesn't exist though

Very true on the perfect girl doesnt exist.

But imagine this, you're having a make out sesh kissing and you're rock hard... and you have to tug yourself off for 5 years even tho you have a girl right next to you...

Waiting is defo more simpy choice

yeah not gonna lie... I don't know if I'd be able to control myself

Probably not ngl lmao you got me

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deactivated-64969837cbeff

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In my case, I didn’t wait until marriage to smash (& lose my virginity) with an ex-girlfriend, but I abstained with my wife until after we got married.

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warrior8411

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Of course I'd wait.. Bruh some people are just eager for these pleasures smh ..

One should respect their partner's wishes , moreover, In my culture here we do it after marriage.. it's a sacred bond between a Husband and a Wife.

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NOHOOUR

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not if nobody else waited

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eslay03

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Gladly.

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arctika

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Funny this topic came up, last week I read an article similar to this said studies shows Gen Z are more patient than previous generations with this subject or let's just say they're having less sex.

For me personally, I'm not Gen Z but I'd wait if the girl felt right and we were going somewhere serious sure.

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Pharoh_Atem

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No, I like sex.

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ArranVid

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Well she's perfect in looks so I wouldn't mind waiting for 5 years. I'm 30 so in another 5 years time I will obviously be 35, so I don't mind not having any sex for 5 years and then we can smash. Also I wouldn't mind doing only kissing/cuddling for 5 years. So yeah I would wait until marriage to smash.

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DjMasta

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#13  Edited By DjMasta

Nah, what if I don’t like having sex with her. Can’t just break it off after marriage. Besides, sex is good. No Sex = more likely to cheat. In my opinion, If a girl makes a man wait that long, she doesn’t truly respect/love her partner, and will probably get taken by someone else a more dominant male.

So if a Women telling you “wait 5Years B4 marriage” then chances are you are not the one that she will/wants to submit to.

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kgb725

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No because she doesn't want to have sex and wants to be married two massive red flags right there. I know it's taboo to talk about but you need a healthy sex life to keep the relationship going and that's a massive commitment to find out we weren't compatible smh

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deactivated-648a60c474283

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Absolutely not. Five years is an unreasonably long time to put your life on hold only to possibly find out you have no sexual compatibility with the person, which would be a sure way to finding yourself in an unhappy marriage and possibly a divorce down the line to boot.

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jacdec

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And God in all this ?

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DjMasta

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#17  Edited By DjMasta

God is in the marriage. You not covet your neighbors wife, for that is surely a sin.

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arctika

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Comes down to who's shallow and who's not.

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tparks

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I wish I would have done that, but I also wish I would have married my wife sooner than I did. 5 years is way more then you need to know you want to marry. If you don’t want to marry someone by then, you’re just wasting time. Assuming marriage and a family is something you want in life.

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SuperDarth

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As long as she agrees not to have kids then sure.

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Zafros13

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@tparks: “If you don’t want to marry someone by then, you’re just wasting time.”

I think the objective is to live in the moment.

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tparks

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@zafros13: That’s not really the best way to live IMO. I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy what you have, but you should still always be working on a better future IMO. Specially for something as life changing and important as marriage. It’s either the greatest thing in life, or the worst, and people who choose not to get married aren’t an exception in that. Not many people who aren’t married look back and are happy with that decision, but some are. Either way, that’s not really something you should take lightly.

And when I’ve said “you” in this, I’m not talking about actually you. I’m just speaking in generalities.

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jacdec

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It's like waiting 5 years before opening the box of your Christmas present. If it doesn't suit you then it's too late to exchange it !

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deactivated-648a61eb975df

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Definitely. This goes according to bible standards. I’m striving to be a christian. And I must say, It takes a lot of work to be one 😅

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Ghostodoofus2

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Voted no but if she's really 100% perfect for me.... then yes.

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jacdec

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Voted no but if she's really 100% perfect for me.... then yes.

How could you know she is perfect then ?

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DjMasta

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@zero_hero: The road isn’t easy, but if you walk it friend you are not alone. Btw, how is waiting 5Years B4 Marriage part of Bible standards?

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SpareHeadOne

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I’d wait but I would wonder how she could resist me

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TDK_1997

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I don't think I will be able to stop myself from looking to the side.

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deactivated-648a61eb975df

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@djmasta:

Haha thanks. I hope the best for anyone who wants to walk down the path. It’s really the best way of life at least to me.

In other words mating before marriage would be considered a sin. You need to be married before mating lol. The waiting for 5 years stuff doesn’t apply unless your already married and of course, of age.

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DjMasta

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@zero_hero: Np buddy, I am 100% with you especially now with how the world is.

As for sex before marriage? I don’t see in the Mosaic Law or New Testament that having sex before matrimony is considered a sin. I understood that if you have sex with a married person, that’s a sin. Pretty bad one too

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jacdec

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@zero_hero:@djmasta

To the question "What does God think of sexuality before marriage ?" a pastor from Geneva (Marc Pernot) answers in detail and dissects an often-quoted article from "TopChrétien". It's quite long and a bit tedious but really interesting. Let's keep ideas open and clear.

...

With regard to the article you quote, I find it, to tell the truth, rather disappointing. On several occasions, the author affirms an absolute moral commandment as flowing clearly from the Bible, when what is clear is that the passage does not say that! For example :

“1 Corinthians 7.2 clearly includes sex before marriage in its definition of sexual immorality,” the article says. The reality is that marriage is not mentioned in this passage. It only says “let every man have his wife and every woman have her man”. As far as I know, this is your case, since you don't have several girlfriends at the same time and your fiancée several guys? The words "man" and "woman" in this verse are not the technical terms "husband" (nymphios) and wife (nymphè) but male man (aner) and woman (gyne). Then, how can we make this verse an absolute command to be applied timelessly since Jesus himself, and apparently Paul also had no wife?

Then, the author affirms “Many passages of the Scriptures (Acts 15.20, Romans 1.29, 1 Corinthians 5.1, 6.13, 18, 7.2, 10.8, 2 Corinthians 12.21, Galatians 5.19, Ephesians 5.3, Colossians 3.5, 1 Thessalonians 4.3, Jude 1.7 ) say sex outside of marriage is sinful. The reader thinks that if this author, who seems to know the Bible inside and out, asserts it with such aplomb, it must be true. Anyway, after the blow of the previous verse, let's see:

– Acts 15.20 does not talk about marriage at all, it actually says to avoid “porneia”, sexual debauchery, certainly, it is useful advice but it is not really your intention!

– Romans 1:29 is not about marriage or sex!

– 1 Corinthians 5:1 does not speak of marriage, it still criticizes the porneia, and a person who may have entered into a relationship with his father’s wife: this is irrelevant to the question. 1 Corinthians 6:13-18 even less because verse 15 shows that the porneia that Paul is talking about here is the sex trade with prostitutes, which is nothing to do with the case of engaged couples, I think. 1 Corinthians 10:8 does not speak of marriage or betrothed, but rather of not only physical but also spiritual porneia in the episode quoted by Paul from Numbers 25.

– 2 Corinthians 12.21, Galatians 5.19, Ephesians 5.3, Colossians 3.5, 1 Thessalonians 4.3 none of these texts speak of marriage or betrothed, but only of porneia. The question can therefore possibly apply to any sexual act, inside and outside marriage: is it pornéia or not? For example marital rape, a sexual relationship imposed (physically or psychologically) on another, can in my opinion fall into this category, even if there was a very official marriage certificate.

– Jude 1:7 does not speak either of marriage or fiancés, it also evokes an example of pornéia, that of Sodomme and Gomorre, this sin is explicitly the rape in a group of two foreigners passing through (Genesis 19:5) . Again, this has absolutely nothing to do with sexual intercourse in a couple of people committed in their hearts, consenting to each other, and having moreover a marriage project.

This argument therefore seems to me not rigorous (and perhaps deliberately misleading, I don't know) to bring the slightest argument in favor of the thesis announced. But even if Paul had said (which is not the case) that unofficially married fiancés should not sleep together, there would still be his "Everything is permitted but everything does not build" which would leave everyone the right to decide. without religious leaders coming to interfere in the intimate life of individuals and couples with a moralism foreign to the gospel of Christ.

Moreover, in Paul's time, neither civil marriage nor religious marriage was practiced by Christians. Civil marriage for Christians appeared when the Roman Empire became Christian (in the 4th century) and the religious wedding ceremony appeared in the Middle Ages.

The article goes on to say, “Couples need to understand that God first planned sex to make children.” Oh yes ? And where does the author get that from? The advanced texts say precisely the opposite.

Starting with 1 Corinthians 7.2 so important in his eyes: Paul says that it is necessary to form a couple so that sexual desire is calmed by the joyful sexual practice, that this is the only good reason in his eyes to marry. Well, Paul has here a conception of the couple which seems to me more than limited, but in any case it says the opposite of what our author announces as coming from God himself.

Another quoted text is the book of Song of Songs which is indeed a long, very sensual poem about the courtship of two lovers and the pleasure they have together. Precisely, it is not once a question in this text that this couple makes a child.

The pleasure that these two lovers take together thus has its own interest outside of any procreation project.

This book of the Bible "The Song of Songs" has a double meaning, it speaks of the love of two human lovers and it speaks at the same time of the love of God for the human. This shows that for its author, sex is not dirty as some think, just legitimized by procreation. No, it is an activity that can have its role in the construction and the life of a couple. This is an optional activity (there are some really good couples who don't). Similarly, the project of having a child is optional for a couple (in the gospel, fertility is not limited to the material and biological domain, but above all relational and spiritual). Fortunately for Christ, whose fruitfulness in this area was not so brilliant a priori.

The article ends with “For God, there is no alternative to abstinence before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives proper value to sexual relationships, and most importantly, honors God. »

The “For God…” is quite daring, even if the author thinks he had a special reflection from the Holy Spirit.

What "honors God" is to respect him and not to come between God in the individual person by pretending to speak in his place instead of advising the person to see with God, directly, what is best in the present circumstances, and what is his personal vocation.

As for what comes next, what in my opinion would avoid many evils is to empower the individual person by empowering him to face the questions of his own life, with the help of God. And not to stifle his conscience and his faith under a brutal moralism.

Paul does us a great service by giving us this question as advice “everything is permitted but not everything is constructive“. With this as viaticum, and by asking this question in reflection and in prayer, I think that many answers can be found personally.

...

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arctika

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Quite an interesting thread