The church of hate

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Skit

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As a result of the meme status of chew on the vine(and several other websites), a church was created to celebrate this. Since then several have tried recreating this with other subsequent characters instead of the batgod and all have failed(not apparently realizing that's not how you parody). Today though, I present to, not just a new "god", but also a religion and a way of life. This is the church of hate and more specifically Sithrak, the insane, blind gibber.

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You see, Sithrak is a true god that isn't some mere myth. He's the reason for everything horrible in the world and why life is so crushingly cruel. No matter what you do in life, you will be sent to even worse than anything possible in the world. None of your actions will ever matter, Sithrak will torment you until the end of existence(which is never because he created everything). Knowing this offers you freedom to do anything you want though as Sithrak shows no bias like other supposed "gods". Are you a racist shamed by modern day media for your own beliefs? Well don't I have good news for you, Sithrak encourages the use of filthy tribesmen's faces as a doormats.

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Are you sick of the elderly? Feel they don't contribute enough to society and criticize the young unfairly? Then Sithrak approves you kicking them in the face whilst shouting profanities at them.

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Got problems with woman acting out of place and speaking her mind? Well you don't even to go against society's traditional views of backhanding in the face, because you can always just use your foot instead.

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Acts of harm against others doesn't have to come in foot form either, all violence is wonderful because it just brings those less enlightened to him at a faster rate. Even if you believe in other gods, Sithrak doesn't just not judge you for that, he supports that as it makes the soul crushing moment of realization that everything you ever believed in was a lie even greater.

Because Sithrak is beyond death
Because Sithrak is beyond death

The truly special and devout though get a chance to meet him prior to their endless torment. When you die you're sent to him. However, instead of torturing you he gives you a second chance at life, telling you that the church of hates bible was just him being angsty as teenager. This how ever is just trick on his part so that your existence is even more painful.

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Now by now, you may have your doubts. At least one good thing happens to everybody at some point. So how can a god that's responsible for everything bad allow good? That's simple, he just doesn't even care enough about you to consistently make your life horrible(though he could if he wanted).

As told by the doomsayers

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So, brothers and sisters, won't you learn to hate. Will you not accept Sithrak as your tormenter. Who knows though, maybe your G.W.O.K.(a ghost without knowing)?

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TheDandyMan

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Seems legit

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deactivated-5da1bf32237f0

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TL;DR.

Based on the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about the Westboro Baptist Church.

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Noone301994

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Skit

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@ryagan said:

TL;DR.

Based on the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about the Westboro Baptist Church.

Darn, I completely forgot about them. Now I have to figure out a way to incorporate them. As for tl;dr, that's partially what the as originally told by doomsayers is for. It's not much shorter, but is far more amusing.

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dernman

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#6  Edited By dernman

I know hate and he aint Sithrak nor is he insane.