"Two men enter; one man leaves." This ain't Thunderdome, baby, but it's as close as we're ever going to get. If plastic could bleed, guys like Batman and Daredevil would be regulars down at the Red Cross after a couple love taps from walking tanks like Hellboy or Superman. To settle a bet, we put together the ultimate tough-man contest. The biggest 32 bricks in HeroClix have assembled to punch their way through their fellow figures to claim the title of "Toughest Click on the Block."
THE RULES:
These fights ain't about finesse or namby-pamby mental powers. They ain't about cool combos or popularity. Heroes were chosen because they were super strong and/or super tough - or because they have a reputation as tough guys, like Wolverine. Power-wise, movement and ranged attacks were out, as was stuff like Psychic Blast and explosive barrier. - though we did leave in defensive abilities like Outwit and Super Senses. Combat was simple; we want the figures that can take the biggest punch and give it back with interest. We picked guys with toughness and imperviousness, guys you'd want backing you up in a bar fight.
Seeding was determined randomly. We took the best veteran of every figure available or the best figure period if there were multiple versions - i.e. the unique Hellboy and Xplosion's Hulk. Cost was no object. The figure with the lower point-total got to throw the first punch. From then on, the figures just went at it mano-a-mano until one was standing and the other was crying uncle. This free-for-all won't tell you who's the best teammate or who's the best dressed, but you will discover who the game's best battlin' bad***es are.
ELIMINATION ROUND:
The elimination round was brutal, with half of the field of 32 cut down. Still, their pain is your gain. Five lessons were learned that can be applied to almost every HeroClix game you'll ever play.
Crit happens.
You can be the most impervious guy in the world, but roll them snake-eyes and you're in for a world of hurt. Likewise, boxcars are now and will always be the one thing a HeroClix player will sell his soul to Mephisto for. Both happen a lot more than you'd think. There's nothing like Lady Luck to even up a fight. Victims of critical fumbles at critical times: Brainiac 13 and Vision - maybe it's a glitch in the software. Victims of the other guy's sixes: Bizarro, Titania, and Swamp Thing.
Reputation is just a lot of talk.
Yeah, Wolverine may be the fan favorite comicbook character of the last 20 years, and his cigar chomping tough guy act may make him the bad boy of the X-Men. But all he had to do was miss once - which he did - before Doomsday cracked his adamantium skeleton like yesterday's breadsticks. Regenerate this, Bub. Sabretooth ran into the same problem.
The best offense is a good defense
Tampa Bay and Baltimore proved that it wins Super Bowls, and the same holds true in HeroClix. The farther you go on the defensive ladder - toughness, invulnerability, imperviousness - the farther you go in the competition. That's why Samandahl Rey was no match for Superman.
It am good to be smarts
The key offensive power wasn't super strength or close combat expert. When you're facing an impervious guy and need to roll a 12 before you'll do any damage at all, what's the number one pick? Outwit. Turn off his D, and things suddenly look a lot brighter. Darkseid ate the versatile Apocalypse alive with it. And Amazo only lost 'cuz Juggernaut was a lot luckier with his dice.
Sometimes it just comes down to who hits the hardest
Abomination, Doc Samson, Solomon Grundy, Steel, Rogue, and She-Hulk. All fine figures, all contenders, each super strong and very tough. But each went down swinging. Sometimes the other figure got to go first, or hit more often or did more damage or had close combat skill. HeroClix is a great game because of the way figures interact and because the impartial dice ensure players can take no victory for granted.
THE SWEET 16
Ultron vs. Martian Manhunter: A pretty good fight ... until MM picked up where the other androids left off in the prelims and crapped out with a critically timed fumble.
Hercules vs. Doomsday: Hercules now parks in the handicapped spots and takes his mead intravenously.
Hellboy vs. Darkseid: Darkseid's outwit was huge till Hellboy managed to knock his foe out of those slots. Darkseid as a hand to hand combatant? No match for the horned one.
Juggernaut vs. Thor: No lightning + no flight = no victory for the thunder god. It helped that Thor couldn't roll to save his life - and didn't.
Colossus vs. Superman: A steel man vs. the Man of Steel. Colossus surprisingly held his own for a few rounds, but was no match for Supes' imperviousness.
Thing vs. Iron Man: Iron Man without his distance attacks is just a tin can. The Thing opened that can and let out the whup-***.
Hulk vs. Super-Skrull: If you can't knock Hulk past his best slots, don't fight him. The Super Skrull couldn't, but we didn't give him a choice.
Thanos vs. Wonder Woman: Invulnerability vs. Imperviousness. Winner - Wonder Woman.
THE TOP 8
Ultron vs. Doomsday: Okay, it took Doomsday one more punch here than with Herc. That should count for something.
Hellboy vs. Juggernaut: Hellboy's got a lot of endurance. He can take a beating for a looooong time. Though both slugged their hearts out, HB could just take a beating longer.
Superman vs. Thing: Both guys critically fumbled, but with the fit hit the shan, the Thing just rolled better than the Man of Steel. That, friends, is what we call an upset.
Hulk vs. Wonder Woman: Wondy is all kinds of tough, but if you make the mistake of letting Hulk hit his middle slots, it's pretty much over. It also helps when the Hulk critically fumbles into his best stats. Bye-bye, gorgeous.
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