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#1 Posted by HandyJayJr (2000 posts) - - Show Bio

Now this ones foolproof.

Pretend to be illiterate and tell her your too ashamed to tell anyone and ask her to teach you to read, then slowly but surely she will fall in love you.

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#2 Posted by Cable_Extreme (13533 posts) - - Show Bio

Wanna see my comic collection? Because you are a marvel.

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#3 Posted by MarvelandDCfan24 (1086 posts) - - Show Bio

There's only gonna be 7 planets left... After I destroy Uranus!

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#4 Posted by Insertnewname (1263 posts) - - Show Bio

i try to arouse pity, so i say

I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

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#5 Posted by stvblackrose801 (904 posts) - - Show Bio
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#6 Edited by MainJP (1323 posts) - - Show Bio
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#7 Edited by The Stegman (38288 posts) - - Show Bio

"Girl, you must be from Memphis....cause I think we're related and I'd still want to bang."

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#8 Posted by Super_ninja (2000 posts) - - Show Bio

i love chinese food, i know i will love you long time.

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#9 Posted by HandyJayJr (2000 posts) - - Show Bio

There's only gonna be 7 planets left... After I destroy Uranus!

Sounds like a winner. I can't see any way it could fail.

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#10 Posted by Cable_Extreme (13533 posts) - - Show Bio
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#11 Posted by judasnixon (12300 posts) - - Show Bio
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#12 Posted by Referee (11677 posts) - - Show Bio

@marvelanddcfan24 said:

There's only gonna be 7 planets left... After I destroy Uranus!

Sounds like a winner. I can't see any way it could fail.

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#13 Posted by MisterWhisper (5196 posts) - - Show Bio

The kids are at my mom's house tonight.

Been married for almost 10 years.

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#14 Posted by Thekillerklok (5940 posts) - - Show Bio

I post on a certain website, have a correspondence, discus kinks and limits, meet up in a public place, then I enjoy someones company.

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#15 Posted by Khael (13087 posts) - - Show Bio

Facepalm, you guys are the worst.

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#16 Posted by stvblackrose801 (904 posts) - - Show Bio
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#17 Posted by TVC-15 (4196 posts) - - Show Bio

Go out of my way to avoid eye contact.

It doesn't work often.

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#18 Posted by juiceboks (21312 posts) - - Show Bio

Related image

Moderator Online
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#19 Posted by deactivated-599632ff76068 (1036 posts) - - Show Bio

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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#20 Edited by stvblackrose801 (904 posts) - - Show Bio

@necronn- said:

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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#21 Posted by AllStarSuperman (39614 posts) - - Show Bio

The D.E.N.N.I.S. System.

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#22 Posted by nickzambuto (28551 posts) - - Show Bio
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#23 Posted by lubub55 (7830 posts) - - Show Bio

Whipping it out.

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#24 Posted by The-Wraith (459 posts) - - Show Bio

Make em laugh.

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#25 Posted by tensor (7728 posts) - - Show Bio

Get rich. That is it.

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#26 Posted by jloneblackheart (8268 posts) - - Show Bio

The kids are at my mom's house tonight.

Been married for almost 10 years.

Another good one is cleaning the shower or folding laundry.

Married 5 years.

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#27 Posted by TheSuperor (5104 posts) - - Show Bio

Your*

I... just... had... to...

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#28 Posted by Simon_the_digger (5076 posts) - - Show Bio

Lie xD...Nah on a serious note a lil bit of charm and ambition could get you most things.

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#29 Posted by SeaGod (2358 posts) - - Show Bio

"We should hangout sometime"

Loading Video...

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#30 Posted by MarvelandDCfan24 (1086 posts) - - Show Bio

@referee: i have actually used that before as a joke to this random girl at the bar she laughed uncontrollably and she explained that she was actually a hooker and said i could have an hour for free because that was one of the funniest pick up lines shes ever heard i declined because you know hookers STDS and all that

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#31 Edited by Chronicplane (976 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd be like this, "Hey gal get a load of this" then proceed to execute plan of seducing chick :)

Commence plan: Execute my "SWAG DANCE", Can't beat it

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Next step within plan: Chick is hypnotized by my swag and agree's to bang.

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Final step of plan: I WIN GG

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Bonus step: Leave with a Swag walk you LOOSE #TriggeredViners

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#32 Edited by god_vulcan (4755 posts) - - Show Bio

Flirt

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#33 Posted by god_vulcan (4755 posts) - - Show Bio

Did anyone else cringe at the way 'your' is spelled?

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#34 Posted by Chronicplane (976 posts) - - Show Bio

@god_vulcan: It's really irritating wish he would just fix that, also what do you think of my set up for the chick :)

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#35 Edited by god_vulcan (4755 posts) - - Show Bio
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#36 Posted by Chronicplane (976 posts) - - Show Bio

@god_vulcan: When it comes to seducing chicks Tobey's swag is the way to go :)

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#37 Posted by Amendment50 (10895 posts) - - Show Bio
No Caption Provided

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#38 Posted by _Gaff_ (4870 posts) - - Show Bio
Image result for dennis system
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#39 Edited by HandyJayJr (2000 posts) - - Show Bio

Did anyone else cringe at the way 'your' is spelled?

Oops, to this day I still use your & you're interchangeably. I'll fix it.

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#41 Posted by Khael (13087 posts) - - Show Bio
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#42 Posted by SeaGod (2358 posts) - - Show Bio

@khael: it really is the dude is awesome. You should look up his story about sneaking a drink into a movie theater. Pure comedic gold.

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#43 Edited by HandyJayJr (2000 posts) - - Show Bio

@chronicplane said:

@god_vulcan: It's really irritating wish he would just fix that, also what do you think of my set up for the chick :)

Damn it! I tried to edit it but I'm getting a blank white screen saying access denied. F it my method was to be illiterate anyway so the title fits I guess.

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#44 Posted by god_vulcan (4755 posts) - - Show Bio

@handyjayjr: Don't worry about it man. I didn't mean for it to be taken too seriously

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#45 Posted by HandyJayJr (2000 posts) - - Show Bio

@handyjayjr: Don't worry about it man. I didn't mean for it to be taken too seriously

Neither did I saul goodman.

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#46 Posted by ANTHP2000 (7785 posts) - - Show Bio
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#47 Posted by Watcher5000 (4090 posts) - - Show Bio

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#48 Posted by Naamah_Obyzouth (6753 posts) - - Show Bio

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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#49 Posted by darthsenju (3535 posts) - - Show Bio

Food and conversation

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#50 Posted by webinyoureye11 (1780 posts) - - Show Bio

You want foolproof?

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