Messed up Bible Stories

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castleking

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#1  Edited By castleking

 anyone ever watch these?
what do you think about them?
Blasphemous or funny?
Can we learn from these and get a new insight into religion?
  

  
  

  what did you guys learn from this one any insight from it or understanding?
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King Saturn

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#2  Edited By King Saturn  Online
I was actually watching the Adam and Eve video a few days ago... lol
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#3  Edited By castleking
@King Saturn said:
" I was actually watching the Adam and Eve video a few days ago... lol "
haha!

i rewatched the one above yesterday.
i find them to be slightly entertaining and informative....
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joshmightbe

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#4  Edited By joshmightbe

I think the Story of Job is messed up enough as it is in the Bible

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#5  Edited By castleking
@joshmightbe said:

" I think the Story of Job is messed up enough as it is in the Bible "

what did you learn from it?
feel free to post it.

here is another

  
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#6  Edited By InnerVenom123

Book of Job is the most f__ked up story... aside from everything in Leviticus.

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#7  Edited By velle37
@InnerVenom123 said:
"Book of Job is the most f__ked up story... aside from everything in Leviticus. "

The story of Job reminds me of the movie Trading Places.......
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#8  Edited By castleking
@velle37 said:
" @InnerVenom123 said:
"Book of Job is the most f__ked up story... aside from everything in Leviticus. "
The story of Job reminds me of the movie Trading Places....... "
how so?
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#9  Edited By velle37
@castleking said:
" @velle37 said:
" @InnerVenom123 said:
"Book of Job is the most f__ked up story... aside from everything in Leviticus. "
The story of Job reminds me of the movie Trading Places....... "
how so? "


Trading places has a rich white man bettting another rich white man a dollar that he can thoroughly f*** up this one guy's life, and at the same time make some street rat a competent corporate official...

 

In the story of Job, Satan bets God he can make his most faithful servant curse him, thus lowering Job's faith and love, and at the same time elevating his hate (like replacing the loving man, who is the proverbial "face" of Job, with a hateful man)......

 

Idk, I see it a a veritable analogy.......

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#10  Edited By joshmightbe
@castleking: I learned that god is perfectly willing to let you suffer to settle a bet
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#11  Edited By PrinceIMC

Now that's funny.
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King Saturn

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#12  Edited By King Saturn  Online
God - " What The ? Oh No... They Didn't  " 

  
  
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castleking

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#13  Edited By castleking

 that god isnt omniscient and has two kids who slept with women and god is afraid of being challenged via knowledge and science.

    

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#14  Edited By velle37
@joshmightbe said:
" @castleking: I learned that god is perfectly willing to let you suffer to settle a bet "

 


 

 
 


 

 

Lol they murdered his whole family, took all of his money, made his wife leave him, then his entire body broke out into painful boils........

 

But it's all cool, cuz they gave him a new family, and multiplied his riches!!!

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#15  Edited By Billy Batson

They are all messed up!

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#16  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt

Oh great. More anti-Judeo-Christian sentiment. Fun.

Granted this is more anti-Judaism, as these stories are usually from the Old Testament.

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#17  Edited By joshmightbe
@velle37: Yea cause new kids make you forget all about your older ones getting slaughtered
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#18  Edited By velle37
@FadeToBlackBolt said:
"Oh great. More anti-Judeo-Christian sentiment. Fun. Granted this is more anti-Judaism, as these stories are usually from the Old Testament. "



Dontcha just love it!!

 

jk

 

Opinions?

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#19  Edited By joshmightbe
@FadeToBlackBolt: All mythologies have messed up stories of gods being cruel like the origin of Medusa she was turned into a monster as punishment for Poseidon raping her in Athena's temple which is also why she was consumed with hatred by the time Perseus showed up to kill her 
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#20  Edited By realsilverjunk

They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context.

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#21  Edited By King Saturn  Online
@castleking said:
"  that god isnt omniscient and has two kids who slept with women and god is afraid of being challenged via knowledge and science.

    
"
lmfao


@realsilverjunk said:
" They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "
IDK... I think some of these videos do a pretty good job of explaining what is going on these stories... now if you want... would you like to give us the exact context of what is happening in these stories since you seem to know what exactly is going on in each story ? 
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#22  Edited By SuperTide

No way would this thread not be locked if it was videos making fun of stuff from the Koran.

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#23  Edited By PrinceIMC
@SuperTide: Are there funny Qur'an cartoons? I'd like to see those. I don't think you can blame someone for posting something made for comedy no matter what the source.
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#24  Edited By lagoon_boy

   Job showed his faithfulness. It all depends on how you think of it. Do you go really that literal and think GOD, THE ALMIGHTY, Our loving Creator made Job suffer to settle a bet? Or He wanted to show Satan how faithful HIS servants really are. How they trust upon HIM. I don't think it's messed up, it's far from it. Besides, it's not like GOD didn't replace everything ten folds.

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#25  Edited By velle37
@King Saturn said:


@realsilverjunk said:
" They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "
IDK... I think some of these videos do a pretty good job of explaining what is going on these stories... now if you want... would you like to give us the exact context of what is happening in these stories since you seem to know what exactly is going on in each story ? 
"

I second that........


@SuperTide said:

"No way would this thread not be locked if it was videos making fun of stuff from the Koran. "

Why do you think that is?.......
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#26  Edited By realsilverjunk
@King Saturn: That's alot of work...huh, why don't you pick your favorite, and I'll do that one. 
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#27  Edited By King Saturn  Online
@realsilverjunk said:
" @King Saturn: That's alot of work...huh, why don't you pick your favorite, and I'll do that one.  "
how about the video I did with The Tower of Babel
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#28  Edited By castleking
@King Saturn said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

" @King Saturn said:

"I always wondered why The Almighty decided for Man to write these things down and put them unto Holy Texts that would later on be translated over and over again... and then be interpreted multiple different ways at that... if what The Almighty was trying to tell us is so important in these Texts... why not he literally speak for himself at times... instead of having bronze age texts speak for him which could or could not be true about what he wants...  "



God's promise to preserve His Word.

 

The Preserved Word of God

 

SermonAudio.com - Verbal Preservation of the Bible

"
I have read from each of these sites... and these passages do not  really address what I am talking about... I am talking about God not Speaking Himself during the Modern Age... and even if every word of the Bible is totally accurate ( which many people will debate with you on )... why can not God speak simply for the fact that there are so many competing beliefs these days ? which is True... Islam or Christianity ? why is Islam wrong ? whats wrong with Christianity ? why cant the Almighty speak in the Modern Era and clear up these things himself... instead of relying on the Holy Texts which can be misinterpreted many different ways by various Religious Leaders for Multiple Reasons ?  "
b/c this would happen.

    
  
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#29  Edited By joshmightbe
@velle37: As long as you avoided showing Mohammad I suppose you could get away with making a funny video like these  
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#30  Edited By castleking

i say all is fair game, you cant pick and choice which religion or myth/culture and mock but refuse to mock a particular one out of fear or political correctness

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#31  Edited By joshmightbe

"You shouldn't trust a god who cannot laugh"

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#32  Edited By castleking

i dont trust a god who torments me even if he laughs.

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#33  Edited By King Saturn  Online
@castleking said:
" @King Saturn said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

" @King Saturn said:

"I always wondered why The Almighty decided for Man to write these things down and put them unto Holy Texts that would later on be translated over and over again... and then be interpreted multiple different ways at that... if what The Almighty was trying to tell us is so important in these Texts... why not he literally speak for himself at times... instead of having bronze age texts speak for him which could or could not be true about what he wants...  "



God's promise to preserve His Word.

 

The Preserved Word of God

 

SermonAudio.com - Verbal Preservation of the Bible

"
I have read from each of these sites... and these passages do not  really address what I am talking about... I am talking about God not Speaking Himself during the Modern Age... and even if every word of the Bible is totally accurate ( which many people will debate with you on )... why can not God speak simply for the fact that there are so many competing beliefs these days ? which is True... Islam or Christianity ? why is Islam wrong ? whats wrong with Christianity ? why cant the Almighty speak in the Modern Era and clear up these things himself... instead of relying on the Holy Texts which can be misinterpreted many different ways by various Religious Leaders for Multiple Reasons ?  "
b/c this would happen.

    
  
"
well I would hope The Almighty could come down a few decibels so we can interpret what he is saying instead of getting blown to pieces from the force of his Holy Voice... lol
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#34  Edited By joshmightbe
@castleking: that too
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#35  Edited By realsilverjunk
@King Saturn: The two other lights are two angels that lie with women against God. They were banished from heaven. 
"Genesis 6 verses 1 and 2 state:


"Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the  sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose."

sons of God- Angels
daughters of men- humans



Some teach that  fallen angels took on the form of flesh and had sexual relations with women producing a race of giants called the  Nephilim."

The tower of Babel was made to challenge God, and claim equality to him. Childish, and it would lean all men into damnation. So the tower was vetoed to save mankind. They of course would never really reach heaven, it was the principle of it. 

Genesis 3:4-5, 7a (WEB)


They said, "Come, let's build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top reaches to the sky, and let's make ourselves a name, lest we be scattered abroad on the surface of the whole earth." Yahweh came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men built. Yahweh said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is what they begin to do. Now nothing will be withheld from them, which they intend to do. Come, let's go down, and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another's speech." So Yahweh scattered them abroad from there on the surface of all the earth...

This would have greatly increased the rate of man's corruption, probably 10X as bad as it is today. I'll admit the sciences and evolution would have been a plus, but not at the cost of the entire race. 

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#36  Edited By castleking

Narrative

The story is found in Genesis 11 :1-9 ˄, and appears in the King James Version as follows:

And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there. And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar. And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children built. And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do; and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech. So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the Lord did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

 hmmmm..... i dont see what you see, reals.
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#37  Edited By King Saturn  Online
@realsilverjunk said:
" @King Saturn: The two other lights are two angels that lie with women against God. They were banished from heaven. 
"Genesis 6 verses 1 and 2 state:


"Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the  sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose."

sons of God- Angels
daughters of men- humans



Some teach that  fallen angels took on the form of flesh and had sexual relations with women producing a race of giants called the  Nephilim."

The tower of Babel was made to challenge God, and claim equality to him. Childish, and it would lean all men into damnation. So the tower was vetoed to save mankind. They of course would never really reach heaven, it was the principle of it. 

Genesis 3:4-5, 7a (WEB)


They said, "Come, let's build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top reaches to the sky, and let's make ourselves a name, lest we be scattered abroad on the surface of the whole earth." Yahweh came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men built. Yahweh said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is what they begin to do. Now nothing will be withheld from them, which they intend to do. Come, let's go down, and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another's speech." So Yahweh scattered them abroad from there on the surface of all the earth...

This would have greatly increased the rate of man's corruption, probably 10X as bad as it is today. I'll admit the sciences and evolution would have been a plus, but not at the cost of the entire race. 

"
okay so basically its a battle of what one man thinks against another... assuming that these " Some Who Teach " are right about the whole Angels having Sex with the Women to Create Giants... which we really do not know if its true or not... then we could go from there... but the other point you make is a no brainer... its obvious they were creating the tower to challenge God's authority... but being it is the Tower could never reach Heaven anyways... why destroy the tower ? why not let man see himself they he could never build a tower to Heaven... and then intervene... instead of seemingly stopping them mid way or so... anywho its obvious this story can be taken different many ways just like almost any Bible Story... that's the beauty of the Bible... one Christian will say I know what the Lord is saying here... and another Christian will say the same thing and have two totally different answers... now this last statement you make is funny to me... giving us an assumption as to how much more corrupt man would be today... how can we know that Man would be much more corrupt today if he would have let man keep building the Tower ? its obvious Man could not make a Tower to Heaven... and at some point would realize its pointless... as well as Man is corrupt anyways... thats why the Flood was sent... but it was not like God did not know that Man would not attempt to make a Tower or become Dark Vile Creatures right ? 
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#38  Edited By Cezar_TheScribe
    @realsilverjunk said:
"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

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#39  Edited By castleking

here is another:

  

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#40  Edited By Jonny_Anonymous
@castleking:  Blasphemous or funny?
thats the same thing to me
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#41  Edited By velle37
@Cezar_TheScribe said:
"    @realsilverjunk said:
"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

"


Where did this guy get his info?.....

 

(sadly people listen to this)

 

There was a singularity......

 

Not "nothing"......

 

Also it is physical law energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that matter and energy are interchangeable, so how is it that he's stating Matter isn't proverbially "eternal?"........

 

Falsely, that's how..........

 

Also I find the title "fairy tales for adults" highly and hilariously ironic.........

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#42  Edited By velle37
@lagoon_boy said:

"   Job showed his faithfulness. It all depends on how you think of it. Do you go really that literal and think GOD, THE ALMIGHTY, Our loving Creator made Job suffer to settle a bet? Or He wanted to show Satan how faithful HIS servants really are. How they trust upon HIM. I don't think it's messed up, it's far from it. Besides, it's not like GOD didn't replace everything ten folds. "


     

@joshmightbe said:

" @velle37: Yea cause new kids make you forget all about your older ones getting slaughtered "

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#43  Edited By realsilverjunk
@velle37 said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

"    @realsilverjunk said:

"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

"


Where did this guy get his info?.....

 

(sadly people listen to this)

 

There was a singularity......

 

Not "nothing"......

 

Also it is physical law energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that matter and energy are interchangeable, so how is it that he's stating Matter isn't proverbially "eternal?"........

 

Falsely, that's how..........

 

Also I find the title "fairy tales for adults" highly and hilariously ironic.........

"
That physical law is sketchy.
 

 " Matter can be created or destroyed. However, the total  effective mass , including energy, is constant. Here is an example of the destruction of matter: an electron collides with a positron. Both vanish, emitting energy. Other atomic reactions generate particles from energy."

"The principle of matter conservation may be considered as an approximate physical law that is true only in the classical sense, without consideration of special relativity and quantum mechanics. Another difficulty with the idea of conservation of "matter" is that "matter" is not a well-defined word scientifically, and when particles that are considered to be "matter" (such as electrons and positrons) are annihilated to make photons (which are often not considered matter) then conservation of matter does not take place, even in isolated systems.

Mass is also not generally conserved in open systems (even if only open to heat and work), when various forms of energy are allowed into, or out of, the system (see for example, binding energy). However, the law of mass conservation for closed (isolated) systems, as viewed over time from any single inertial frame, continues to be true in modern physics. The reason for this is that relativistic equations show that even "massless" particles such as photons still add mass and energy to closed systems, allowing mass (though not matter) to be conserved in all processes where energy does not escape the system. In relativity, different observers may disagree as to the particular value of the mass of a given system, but each observer will agree that this value does not change over time as long as the system is closed."

   
Science is still too young to just jump to conclusions like that. 
@King Saturn: Just look at what computers have done. Alot of good, and a whole lot of bad. Man evolves, their capacity for evil grows as well. 
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#44  Edited By velle37
@realsilverjunk said:
"@velle37 said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

"    @realsilverjunk said:

"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

"


Where did this guy get his info?.....

 

(sadly people listen to this)

 

There was a singularity......

 

Not "nothing"......

 

Also it is physical law energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that matter and energy are interchangeable, so how is it that he's stating Matter isn't proverbially "eternal?"........

 

Falsely, that's how..........

 

Also I find the title "fairy tales for adults" highly and hilariously ironic.........

"
That physical law is sketchy.
 

 " Matter can be created or destroyed. However, the total  effective mass , including energy, is constant. Here is an example of the destruction of matter: an electron collides with a positron. Both vanish, emitting energy. Other atomic reactions generate particles from energy."

"The principle of matter conservation may be considered as an approximate physical law that is true only in the classical sense, without consideration of special relativity and quantum mechanics. Another difficulty with the idea of conservation of "matter" is that "matter" is not a well-defined word scientifically, and when particles that are considered to be "matter" (such as electrons and positrons) are annihilated to make photons (which are often not considered matter) then conservation of matter does not take place, even in isolated systems.

Mass is also not generally conserved in open systems (even if only open to heat and work), when various forms of energy are allowed into, or out of, the system (see for example, binding energy). However, the law of mass conservation for closed (isolated) systems, as viewed over time from any single inertial frame, continues to be true in modern physics. The reason for this is that relativistic equations show that even "massless" particles such as photons still add mass and energy to closed systems, allowing mass (though not matter) to be conserved in all processes where energy does not escape the system. In relativity, different observers may disagree as to the particular value of the mass of a given system, but each observer will agree that this value does not change over time as long as the system is closed."

   
Science is still too young to just jump to conclusions like that. 
@King Saturn: Just look at what computers have done. Alot of good, and a whole lot of bad. Man evolves, their capacity for evil grows as well. 
"


Ahh, and I guess bible stories aren't "sketchy" at all............

 

Science is "too young" to "jump to a conclusion"? Both of those were horrible rebuttals (*Fez voice* which, by the way, does not mean what I originally though it meant)............

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joshmightbe

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#45  Edited By joshmightbe
@velle37: Science and the bible have both been around for roughly the same amount of time 
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velle37

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#46  Edited By velle37
@joshmightbe said:
" @velle37: Science and the bible have both been around for roughly the same amount of time  "

Lol, what are you "defining" as "science?"
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Ego

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#47  Edited By Ego
@velle37 said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

"    @realsilverjunk said:
"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

"


Where did this guy get his info?.....

 

(sadly people listen to this)

 

There was a singularity......

 

Not "nothing"......

 

Also it is physical law energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that matter and energy are interchangeable, so how is it that he's stating Matter isn't proverbially "eternal?"........

 

Falsely, that's how..........

 

Also I find the title "fairy tales for adults" highly and hilariously ironic.........

"
before the singularity there was nothing. no, space, time or matter. void was created 1st, after that the cosmic egg.. god said, let there be light and the big bang. after the big bang clouds of debris and gases settle around the void. the gas is matter and compressed sparkled stars which were born out of them. that was the begining of genesis.
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velle37

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#48  Edited By velle37
@Ego said:
"@velle37 said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

"    @realsilverjunk said:
"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

"


Where did this guy get his info?.....

 

(sadly people listen to this)

 

There was a singularity......

 

Not "nothing"......

 

Also it is physical law energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that matter and energy are interchangeable, so how is it that he's stating Matter isn't proverbially "eternal?"........

 

Falsely, that's how..........

 

Also I find the title "fairy tales for adults" highly and hilariously ironic.........

"
before the singularity there was nothing. no, space, time or matter. void was created 1st, after that the cosmic egg.. god said, let there be light and the big bang. after the big bang clouds of debris and gases settle around the void. the gas is matter and compressed sparkled stars which were born out of them. that was the begining of genesis. "


You forgot the most important part of the equation.........

 

*squints eyes*

 

Chick Norris..........

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Ego

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#49  Edited By Ego
@velle37 said:
" @Ego said:
"@velle37 said:

" @Cezar_TheScribe said:

"    @realsilverjunk said:
"They fail to comprehend the actual meanings of anything in the story. They're just taking from it what they want. Out of context. "


Yes.

 

 


  

  

"


Where did this guy get his info?.....

 

(sadly people listen to this)

 

There was a singularity......

 

Not "nothing"......

 

Also it is physical law energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that matter and energy are interchangeable, so how is it that he's stating Matter isn't proverbially "eternal?"........

 

Falsely, that's how..........

 

Also I find the title "fairy tales for adults" highly and hilariously ironic.........

"
before the singularity there was nothing. no, space, time or matter. void was created 1st, after that the cosmic egg.. god said, let there be light and the big bang. after the big bang clouds of debris and gases settle around the void. the gas is matter and compressed sparkled stars which were born out of them. that was the begining of genesis. "


You forgot the most important part of the equation.........

 

*squints eyes*

 

Chick Norris..........

"
might be jesus revisting us again to inspire good guys kick ass.
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cpt_linger

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#50  Edited By cpt_linger

 

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